The Letter - J2 [part 5/?]
Title: The Letter - J2 [part 1/?]
Author: kimisgirl
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Rating: PG - NC17
Warnings: Some what AU (the boys knew each other and went to college together, oh and Jensen is gay, but in the closet. They still work on Supernatural now though)
Summary: Jared finds a letter written by Jensen and it turns his whole world upside down. Will he man up and work out how he feels about Jensen now he knows the truth or will their friendships crash and burn?
AN: Just a little plot bunny that wouldn't leave me alone till I wrote it down. This is a work in progress and a chapter will be put up every second day!
The graphics: The letter was written and made by me, the story artwork was put together by me, the image used was made by b_split and she very wonderfully granted me permission to use it :D so thank you very much love! Hope you like the story when it's done.
~*~
~*~
“Momma?” Jared questioned into the phone as he sat alone on the sofa in the lounge room.
“JT? What’s wrong baby, you don’t sound happy”
“I... I’m not sure really, confused I think would be a good word for it. But not unhappy, and nothing is really wrong, so don’t worry about me, I just needed to talk to my Mom you know.”
“Honey, you can always call me you know that, now what’s the matter, you sound nervous.” his mother asked, causing Jared to let out a huff of breath. Was he really ready to tell his Momma that he might be falling (fallen) in love with his best friend... who was also Very male.
“Have you ever been in love with someone you shouldn’t be in love with? Someone who is so completely different from who you thought you’d end up with, but now you don’t know how you’d go about living with out them in your life?”
He rushed through it, sounding small and worried and confused and then breathed slowly, he had not even managed to admit any of that to himself so far, let alone say it outloud. But he realised as he ran the words over in his head that he’d meant them. He really wasn’t sure he could live without Jensen in his life, and now that he knew it could be so much more than friendship... well, yeah, he really kinda wanted that.
”JT, if you love this girl and she loves you, then that is all that really matters honey, you know that. If it makes you both happy then what is there holding you back? What is it that makes it so hard?” His mother asks sounding like she didn’t quite understand why Jared was freaking out about this. And why should she be he thought to himself, not like he’d ever once hinted that he might not be completely straight. Hell before he’d met Jensen he was fairly sure he had been completely straight. And yet he couldn’t deny how Jensen made him feel. And not just since he’d found the letter, Jared, if he was honest with himself had been having some not so straight feelings for his best friend for years.
He noticed the way that Jensen’s pyjama pants dropped low on his slim hips of a morning as he stood drinking coffee in the kitchen, bare chested and hair mussed with sleep. The way his eye’s sparkled with amusement behind his glasses when Jared would all but fall over Sadie and Harley as he made his way into the room still half asleep in the mornings’. And don’t even get him started on the way Jensen looked when he walked out of the bathroom and around the house in nothing but a towel. Jesus Christ had Jared gotten a shock the first time he’d seen his best friend like that and instantly popped a hard on. Not to mention his sudden mortification at realising he had just gotten wood for a man without so much as being touched. Hell even Sandy had never been able to get him hard that fast. And she was a fucking smokin’ lady.
“Momma, it’s... just... it’s complicated.”
“I’m a smart woman Jared, tried me, chances are I’ll understand” Came the reply he knew was coming.
He took a deep breath, he had to say it, it was the whole reason for calling, he couldn’t chicken out now. “It’s... the person, it’s not a... a she Momma” He stuttered nervously and then sat frozen unable to breath waiting for his momma to reply.
“Oh honey, is that why you’re so nervous? You’re worried I wouldn’t understand, that I’d be angry or something?” his mother replied softly, her voice letting Jared know that at least she didn’t hate him for just telling her he might be gay... well bi at the very least.
“No! Well, maybe a little, but honestly I knew you’d still love me. It’s just, I’m a little scared you know, I’ve never even looked at another man before and now... God Momma, I love him so much it hurts and I didn’t even realise what it was until this morning. I have been forcing myself to deny it for so many years, but I can’t keep denying it, not any more...”
”What happened this morning to make you realise just how you felt?”
Jared was quiet for a moment, not sure if he should be outing Jensen to his mother without the other man’s permission. Then he figured that if he just didn’t tell his Mother the other man was Jensen just yet then he wasn’t really betraying any confidences.
“He... ahh, well I found this letter, right, from him to me, it had been written years ago and he never gave it to me, he was too scared or something. And the letter said he was in love with me, and then when I asked him about it this morning... he said he still felt the same way. And he looked so scared and lost Momma, and all I wanted to do was hold him and make him smile again. I realised that lying to myself is one thing, only person I was hurting was me, but I can’t keep lying to him just because I’m scared. It wouldn’t be fair I don’t want to hurt him. Not ever “
“Have you told Jensen any of this honey?” his mother asked and Jared’s jaw fell open as he gapped down the phone line.
“I... what? Why would I tell Jensen?” He stammered trying to hide his shock at his Mother implying that the man he’s talking about was Jensen. And even as he thought it he realised to himself, that it wasn’t that big of a leap. What other man was there in his life who he might be even slightly inclined to fall in love with.
“JT, that boy has been crazy about you for years. It does not take a genius to work out who you might be talking about”
Smug! His mother sounded smug as she relayed this useful piece of information to him.
“What?” He demanded. “You mean you’ve known he likes me for ages and decided not to tell me?” he asked sounding thoroughly put upon and pouting to the empty room.
“Jared, it was hardly my place to tell you the poor boy’s been pining after you for years. If he didn’t want to tell you, and you couldn’t see it on your own, it was nobodies business to point it out.”
“I... god, how did I not see it?” He asked more to himself than his Mother, his mind turning over the year’s he’d known Jensen. Had he really been that oblivious. Well obviously he had, his mind snapped at him.
“You weren’t looking for it honey, so you didn’t see it. Now the important question is, why are you still here talking to me when you have a boy to go and woo?”
“Woo? Momma! Please never use the word woo ever again... please” He groaned down the phone but he was laughing.
“And you’re right, I’m gonna go find him, tell him how I feel... if he’ll let me. He can be a stubborn ass... er, I mean... sorry Momma, didn’t mean to swear”
”It’s fine honey, I’ll forgive you this once, now get gone, and JT...”
“Yeah?”
”Don’t hurt him, if you’re not completely sure about this, if you can’t see yourself in a real relationship with a man, even Jensen, then you need to think very carefully before you talk to him ok?”
“Yeah ok Momma, you’re right, and I will, though I think the answer to that question was given to me the moment he told me he loved me” Jared said with a huge grin splitting his face. Dimples out in force and eyes sparkling, “I love him” he finished simply.
~*~
“So how you gonna handle this son?” Chris asked over a mouthful of his burger, bright blue eyes staring down his best friend.
“No idea, whatever happens next is up to Jared, Chris. I can’t make him want me, and I sure as shit ain’t gonna push him into anything he doesn’t want just cause I got a crush.” Jensen replied, sighing and rubbing a hand over his face in frustration, life was a damn sight less complicated when Jared didn’t know he was hopelessly in love with him.
“A crush? That what they’re calling it these days Jenny?” Chris teased with a laugh.
“Bite me asshole” Jensen shot back without any heat to behind his words.
“Right, I’m off to face the music, or maybe ignore it, guess we’ll see”
He stood, grinned at Chris and headed for the door.
“Call me when you’ve admitted your undying love for each other, y’all can come visit me and Steve in Nashville” Chris called after him with a grin before paying their bill and heading out, thoughts of calling his boyfriend at the forefront of his mind.
Part 6
Comments are love as always. Sorry about the wait, real life getting in the way as always! Unbeta'd again, sorry.
Author: kimisgirl
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Rating: PG - NC17
Warnings: Some what AU (the boys knew each other and went to college together, oh and Jensen is gay, but in the closet. They still work on Supernatural now though)
Summary: Jared finds a letter written by Jensen and it turns his whole world upside down. Will he man up and work out how he feels about Jensen now he knows the truth or will their friendships crash and burn?
AN: Just a little plot bunny that wouldn't leave me alone till I wrote it down. This is a work in progress and a chapter will be put up every second day!
The graphics: The letter was written and made by me, the story artwork was put together by me, the image used was made by b_split and she very wonderfully granted me permission to use it :D so thank you very much love! Hope you like the story when it's done.
~*~
~*~
“Momma?” Jared questioned into the phone as he sat alone on the sofa in the lounge room.
“JT? What’s wrong baby, you don’t sound happy”
“I... I’m not sure really, confused I think would be a good word for it. But not unhappy, and nothing is really wrong, so don’t worry about me, I just needed to talk to my Mom you know.”
“Honey, you can always call me you know that, now what’s the matter, you sound nervous.” his mother asked, causing Jared to let out a huff of breath. Was he really ready to tell his Momma that he might be falling (fallen) in love with his best friend... who was also Very male.
“Have you ever been in love with someone you shouldn’t be in love with? Someone who is so completely different from who you thought you’d end up with, but now you don’t know how you’d go about living with out them in your life?”
He rushed through it, sounding small and worried and confused and then breathed slowly, he had not even managed to admit any of that to himself so far, let alone say it outloud. But he realised as he ran the words over in his head that he’d meant them. He really wasn’t sure he could live without Jensen in his life, and now that he knew it could be so much more than friendship... well, yeah, he really kinda wanted that.
”JT, if you love this girl and she loves you, then that is all that really matters honey, you know that. If it makes you both happy then what is there holding you back? What is it that makes it so hard?” His mother asks sounding like she didn’t quite understand why Jared was freaking out about this. And why should she be he thought to himself, not like he’d ever once hinted that he might not be completely straight. Hell before he’d met Jensen he was fairly sure he had been completely straight. And yet he couldn’t deny how Jensen made him feel. And not just since he’d found the letter, Jared, if he was honest with himself had been having some not so straight feelings for his best friend for years.
He noticed the way that Jensen’s pyjama pants dropped low on his slim hips of a morning as he stood drinking coffee in the kitchen, bare chested and hair mussed with sleep. The way his eye’s sparkled with amusement behind his glasses when Jared would all but fall over Sadie and Harley as he made his way into the room still half asleep in the mornings’. And don’t even get him started on the way Jensen looked when he walked out of the bathroom and around the house in nothing but a towel. Jesus Christ had Jared gotten a shock the first time he’d seen his best friend like that and instantly popped a hard on. Not to mention his sudden mortification at realising he had just gotten wood for a man without so much as being touched. Hell even Sandy had never been able to get him hard that fast. And she was a fucking smokin’ lady.
“Momma, it’s... just... it’s complicated.”
“I’m a smart woman Jared, tried me, chances are I’ll understand” Came the reply he knew was coming.
He took a deep breath, he had to say it, it was the whole reason for calling, he couldn’t chicken out now. “It’s... the person, it’s not a... a she Momma” He stuttered nervously and then sat frozen unable to breath waiting for his momma to reply.
“Oh honey, is that why you’re so nervous? You’re worried I wouldn’t understand, that I’d be angry or something?” his mother replied softly, her voice letting Jared know that at least she didn’t hate him for just telling her he might be gay... well bi at the very least.
“No! Well, maybe a little, but honestly I knew you’d still love me. It’s just, I’m a little scared you know, I’ve never even looked at another man before and now... God Momma, I love him so much it hurts and I didn’t even realise what it was until this morning. I have been forcing myself to deny it for so many years, but I can’t keep denying it, not any more...”
”What happened this morning to make you realise just how you felt?”
Jared was quiet for a moment, not sure if he should be outing Jensen to his mother without the other man’s permission. Then he figured that if he just didn’t tell his Mother the other man was Jensen just yet then he wasn’t really betraying any confidences.
“He... ahh, well I found this letter, right, from him to me, it had been written years ago and he never gave it to me, he was too scared or something. And the letter said he was in love with me, and then when I asked him about it this morning... he said he still felt the same way. And he looked so scared and lost Momma, and all I wanted to do was hold him and make him smile again. I realised that lying to myself is one thing, only person I was hurting was me, but I can’t keep lying to him just because I’m scared. It wouldn’t be fair I don’t want to hurt him. Not ever “
“Have you told Jensen any of this honey?” his mother asked and Jared’s jaw fell open as he gapped down the phone line.
“I... what? Why would I tell Jensen?” He stammered trying to hide his shock at his Mother implying that the man he’s talking about was Jensen. And even as he thought it he realised to himself, that it wasn’t that big of a leap. What other man was there in his life who he might be even slightly inclined to fall in love with.
“JT, that boy has been crazy about you for years. It does not take a genius to work out who you might be talking about”
Smug! His mother sounded smug as she relayed this useful piece of information to him.
“What?” He demanded. “You mean you’ve known he likes me for ages and decided not to tell me?” he asked sounding thoroughly put upon and pouting to the empty room.
“Jared, it was hardly my place to tell you the poor boy’s been pining after you for years. If he didn’t want to tell you, and you couldn’t see it on your own, it was nobodies business to point it out.”
“I... god, how did I not see it?” He asked more to himself than his Mother, his mind turning over the year’s he’d known Jensen. Had he really been that oblivious. Well obviously he had, his mind snapped at him.
“You weren’t looking for it honey, so you didn’t see it. Now the important question is, why are you still here talking to me when you have a boy to go and woo?”
“Woo? Momma! Please never use the word woo ever again... please” He groaned down the phone but he was laughing.
“And you’re right, I’m gonna go find him, tell him how I feel... if he’ll let me. He can be a stubborn ass... er, I mean... sorry Momma, didn’t mean to swear”
”It’s fine honey, I’ll forgive you this once, now get gone, and JT...”
“Yeah?”
”Don’t hurt him, if you’re not completely sure about this, if you can’t see yourself in a real relationship with a man, even Jensen, then you need to think very carefully before you talk to him ok?”
“Yeah ok Momma, you’re right, and I will, though I think the answer to that question was given to me the moment he told me he loved me” Jared said with a huge grin splitting his face. Dimples out in force and eyes sparkling, “I love him” he finished simply.
~*~
“So how you gonna handle this son?” Chris asked over a mouthful of his burger, bright blue eyes staring down his best friend.
“No idea, whatever happens next is up to Jared, Chris. I can’t make him want me, and I sure as shit ain’t gonna push him into anything he doesn’t want just cause I got a crush.” Jensen replied, sighing and rubbing a hand over his face in frustration, life was a damn sight less complicated when Jared didn’t know he was hopelessly in love with him.
“A crush? That what they’re calling it these days Jenny?” Chris teased with a laugh.
“Bite me asshole” Jensen shot back without any heat to behind his words.
“Right, I’m off to face the music, or maybe ignore it, guess we’ll see”
He stood, grinned at Chris and headed for the door.
“Call me when you’ve admitted your undying love for each other, y’all can come visit me and Steve in Nashville” Chris called after him with a grin before paying their bill and heading out, thoughts of calling his boyfriend at the forefront of his mind.
Part 6
Comments are love as always. Sorry about the wait, real life getting in the way as always! Unbeta'd again, sorry.