Love Hurts - Sam/Gabriel - PG13
Title: Love Hurts
Author: kimisgirl
Pairing: Sam/Gabriel
Rating: PG 13
Warnings: AU, Fluff, A little angst (of the ridiculous kind),
Summary: Sam knew love could suck some major ass, but really, he never thought it would be like this... Course, being in love with an egotistical archangel didn't help matters any either.
A/N Happy ending and a bunch of schoomp too, what can I say, I'm in a sappy mood.
"Damn it" Sam sore as he fell over his feet for the hundredth time that day.
"Dude, what the fuck? You forgotten how to walk or something Sam?" Dean ribbed at his little brother.
"Jerk" Sam muttered, in no mood to deal with Dean's teasing today. He was having a hard enough time all on his own, he didn't need Dean helping any.
"Whatever satchquach, just don't knock my ass over on your way down" Dean snapped, getting pissy with Sam's attitude. He had been like this all day, ever since Cas had showed up with Gabriel in tow. Dean had been more than happy to see his angel, not quite so happy to see Gabriel tagging along, but the archangel had been helping them out a lot lately so he really couldn't complain.
It seemed, however, that Sammy could... Ever since Gabriel had showed up, Sam had been a grade a dick. What that was all about Dean had no idea. All he knew was that Sam had been sort of... well stupid when Gabriel had been around, stuttering and clumsy whenever he had tried to speak to the angel. And then he just got really damn annoying since the archangel had blinked out with Cas on some super important mission. Dean didn't ask and they didn't say...
"You gonna tell me what's up?" He asked Sam as he pushed open the door of the hotel, walking in he dumped himself on the bed and stretched out peering up at his brother.
"No" Sam snapped back.
"Whatever dude, pull your finger out and cheer up would ya, I'm a grab a shower" And with that Dean pulled himself up off the bed and headed into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sam watched Dean's retreating back and sighed in relief. How the hell could he actually tell his brother what the problem was? He couldn't that's all there was too it and he would cut his own tongue out before he gave up his secret.
It was a stupid secret anyway, really
'I mean who the hell falls in love with a goddamned archangel, an archangel who hid as a trickster for thousands of years, and who was most likely completely straight, and very male... Sam was male too, so yeah, problem there you see it...' Sam thought to himself sullenly. 'and anyway, I'm not gay either... not even a little...'
Yeah except for the part where you're in love with a male angel, his brain stubbornly pointed out for him.
He's honestly not even sure how it happened, this whole sorry mess. He knows the when, sure, hell he can tell you the exact moment. But he still can't for the life of him tell you the how. He thinks he can maybe explain the why... but that scares him to much so he doesn't think on it too hard.
So anyway, yeah, the when... well that was about six months after they worked out that the Trickster and Gabriel were one and the same. At first, Sam... he hated Gabriel, almost as much as Dean did... Then the stupid angel had to go and start helping them... but it was more than that, he started hanging out, talking to Sam, giving him an escape from the complete shit fight that had become his life. He made the guilt and bullshit fade for a while. Just by distracting Sam. Turns out, Gabriel... really interesting dude. But then, he has seen enough of life to have more than a few stories to tell.
Then Gabriel started doing little things, just for Sam, things that had nothing to do with saving the world or helping them stop Lucifer. No they were just small things that made Sam's life easier. Like blocking out Dean's nonstop best of the 80's music from making it to his brain and instead playing ever one of Sam's all time favourite songs. Apparently, Dean was completely oblivious to this, because Dean looked at him like he was nuts when he asked why he'd changed the music. Then there were the times Sam had bad dreams, they had started getting worse, Sam thought Lucifer might have had something to do with it. After Gabriel had started sticking around, Sam would find himself halfway through a nightmare only to have it change and fade into an insanely peaceful nothingness. It took him a while to realise who was doing it. However it had been that moment, the moment he realised what Gabriel was doing for him, on top of everything else he'd learnt about the angel... that, that was when he'd finally worked out he was in love.
And all that would have been fan - fucking - tastic, if Gabriel had been in love with him too. However, that was just never going to happen. Sam knew it, he wasn't an idiot. NO actually he was an idiot. Cause he had believed that the archangel felt the same way... So he had gotten really, really drunk, cause fuck it, he needed some liquid courage damn it. And he had called Gabriel and told him just how much he loved him. Gabriel had shown up a moment later, taken one look at Sam in his drunkenness and burst out laughing. Had told him to pull the other one, that no one tricked the trickster... blah blah blah. And that had been the end of it. Gabriel had snapped Sam back to his motel, straight into his bed and Sam had not ever mentioned it again... ever.
That had been four months ago, and he had managed to stay away from Gabriel for the most part. He had been quiet and blushed like a teenage girl with a crush every time the angel did show up, and had done his best to run away for a number of various reasons.
Today, this morning, had been the first time he had been alone with the angel since that night. And that was the cause of his shitty mood for the rest of the day. Gabriel had laughed at him again for that night. Teased him like it had just been some game Sam was playing. When the hurt and pain flashed across Sam's face before he could stop it, Gabriel had stopped laughing and gone silent for a long moment just staring at Sam. Then he had snapped his fingers and disappeared. Yeah it had been a shitty damn day, and Sam was pretty sure he ain't gonna see the archangel anytime soon.
Sam rolled over and cuddled into his cheap motel pillow only to have it become a soft downy and clearly expensive version. A grin spread across his lips for the first time since Gabriel had left that morning and he muttered out a soft thank you to the angel before sleep pulled him under on his now wonderfully soft comfy pillow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Morning sunshine"
Sam groaned and rolled over in... What was most defiantly not the bed he went to sleep in...
"What the..."
He sat up and blinked in the early morning light sleepily, looking for the source of the voice. Even though he was 99% sure who it was already.
"Gabriel?" he's voice still deep and sleep ridden.
"Got it in one kiddo" Came the cheery reply and suddenly the bed dipped as the weight of another person was added to it. Sam rubbed his eyes and blinked again.
"Whoa..." He let out in shock when he saw just how close the angel was to him on the bed, their faces just inches apart. Sam scooted back a foot and let out a tight breath.
"Easy there tiger, just a friendly wake up call. We're going to play a little game Sammy."
"We are?" Sam asked, unsure of what the hell was happening.
"Yep! It's simple, first I'm going to ask you a question, then you will ask me one. If you want me to answer yours honestly, you need to answer mine, whatever it is, completely truthfully also. I will know if you don't Sam, and there will be a punishment, believe me on that!"
Sam shook a little, he was pretty damn sure he didn't want to play this game... but it wasn't exactly easy to say no to someone who could smite you with just a touch.
He nodded dumbly, pouting.
"Aww come on Sam, it won't be that bad, scouts honour" Gabriel held up two fingers in what Sam assumed was meant to pass as that of the boys scouts hand thingy.
"You were never in the scouts Gabriel" he pointed out sourly.
"True, well anyway, we're playing, so suck it up princess."
"Ok, my first question" Gabriel moves to sit cross legged in the middle of the bed and smiles dangerously at Sam.
"Are you proportionate?" He waggles his eyebrows and leers at Sam.
"Excuse me..." Sam sputters and blushes furiously.
"tsk tsk Sammy, first you have to ask me a question, then we answer remember"
Sam's mouth snaps shut and he thinks for a moment, if he was going to do this, he was at least going to get some information from the angel.
"Have you ever had a real relationship with anyone?" Sam asked softly, not caring if the question might give away some of his ulterior motives.
"Hmm interesting question" Gabriel smiles "Alright, I asked first, so you get to decide if we answer, and the answer has to be the truth."
Sam flinches "I want to know your answer" he tells Gabriel quietly
"Alright, answer my question Sammy boy and you'll get your answer"
"You promise to be honest with me?" Sam asks.
"Completely" comes the answer.
"Yes" Sam swallows and blushes, not able to meet Gabriel's eyes when he answers the question.
Gabriel chuckles at his answer, "Short, to the point, I like your style Sammy"
"Ok, relationships... yeah no, not anything serious, never been in love if that is what you want to know. Never used to think it was an option for me... not until... Well anyway, that's not part of your question, so moving on"
"Your turn to go first Sam"
Sam stares at Gabriel, not sure whether to feel disappointed or hopeful after his answer.
"Umm ok..." Sam thinks for a moment, crossing his legs and sitting directly in front of Gabriel, close but not close enough to touch.
"What do you think about Dean and Cas being together?" He asks, thinking that it might give him some idea on how Gabriel views his brother’s relationship, seeing as he would really love to have that sort of thing with Gabriel.
"Alrighty... my turn. When was the last time you feel in love?"
Sam sucks in a sharp breath and locks eye's with Gabriel. He really, really doesn't want to answer that. But this time around it's up to Gabriel to decide if they answer or not.
"So, we gonna you know, answer?" Sam asks quietly.
"Yep, we really are Sammy. And for me, honestly, as much as your brother annoys me most of the time, he makes Castiel happy, and my little bro deserves a bit of that alongside the shit fight he's gone and gotten himself in since he met Dean. Course, without his feelings for Dean he wouldn't be where he is right now, but hey, whose keeping score right? So all in all, I'm happy they're happy. Your turn now"
Sam looked down at his hands and breathed deeply, working up the nerve to answer. Gabriel's answer had lifted his spirits a little at least.
"The... ahh, the last time I fell in love was about... um. About six months ago." Sam all but whispered.
"Alrighty"
Sam looked up to find Gabriel looking at him with a small smile on his face that Sam had never seen the angel wear before. It made his stomach flop.
"Next question. Do you think this person you're in love with, loves you back?" Gabriel asked softly, so unlike himself it made Sam stare at him for a moment before asking his next question.
"Do you... do you only like women?" Sam blushed again and tried to cover it up with a smirk.
"Interesting question kiddo, you want me to answer it?"
"Yes, I do want you to answer it... and no I don't think they are... in love with me, the person who I ... anyway yeah, no they're not."
Gabriel gazed at him for a long moment after his answer, expression unreadable, but something in it made Sam feel like Gabriel was silently calling him an idiot...
"No, I don't only like women, well... I've never been with a guy, but I wouldn't rule anything out before trying it at least once." Gabriel leered and laughed. Making Sam's insides turn to jello."
"Who is it... Who do you love Sam?"
Sam froze.
NO.
Just no.
He was not answering that, he was done with this bullshit game.
"Answer the question Sammy..." Gabriel's voice was soft, almost pleading, and he reached out a hand and gently pulled Sam's chin up until he was forced to look Gabriel in the eyes. There was no hint of laughter in the angel’s eyes now, so if this was some bullshit joke of his, Sam couldn’t see it...
"I... please don't make me answer Gabriel..." he whispered brokenly.
"You're wrong you know Sammy. About them not loving you back..." Gabriel murmured quietly.
Sam couldn't respond, his brain had stopped working, and with it everything else he normally found so simple. Like breathing.
"Who is it Sam?"
"You..." Sam gasped out, he wasn't even sure it made since it was so rushed and quiet. He couldn't look at Gabriel even though the angel still had his chin in his hand, so he closed his eyes tightly.
"Look at me Sam" Gabriel whispered so close to Sam's face he could feel the others breathe soft and warm on his lips.
He slowly opened his eyes, looking somewhere between mortified and hopeful. Gabriel after all, hadn't smitted him yet.
"You're an idiot you know that Sammy?" Gabriel teased him affectionately. "And you're still wrong if you think they don't love you back... cause trust me Sammy, they do... a whole lot."
"Say it Gabriel... I need you to say it... make it real" Sam whispered from deep in his chest, still not able to breathe. Still not sure he could believe that what Gabriel was saying... not saying was real.
"I love you Samuel Winchester..." Gabriel murmured softly, looking straight into Sam's eyes for a moment before his lips pressed softly into Sam's in their first kiss.
Sam gasped at the first press of lips, sensation overwhelming him, before he pressed into the kiss and returned it with everything he had. It could have lasted hours for all Sam could tell of the passing of time. It was warm and wet, lips and tongue, passionate and full of promise. And unlike any kiss Sam had ever had...
"I love you" he whispered against Gabriel's lips when they finally had to come up for air... or at least Sam had to.
"Love you too... idiot" Gabriel smirked and chuckled when Sam slapped a large hand against his chest before pulling the archangel back in for another kiss.
Author: kimisgirl
Pairing: Sam/Gabriel
Rating: PG 13
Warnings: AU, Fluff, A little angst (of the ridiculous kind),
Summary: Sam knew love could suck some major ass, but really, he never thought it would be like this... Course, being in love with an egotistical archangel didn't help matters any either.
A/N Happy ending and a bunch of schoomp too, what can I say, I'm in a sappy mood.
"Damn it" Sam sore as he fell over his feet for the hundredth time that day.
"Dude, what the fuck? You forgotten how to walk or something Sam?" Dean ribbed at his little brother.
"Jerk" Sam muttered, in no mood to deal with Dean's teasing today. He was having a hard enough time all on his own, he didn't need Dean helping any.
"Whatever satchquach, just don't knock my ass over on your way down" Dean snapped, getting pissy with Sam's attitude. He had been like this all day, ever since Cas had showed up with Gabriel in tow. Dean had been more than happy to see his angel, not quite so happy to see Gabriel tagging along, but the archangel had been helping them out a lot lately so he really couldn't complain.
It seemed, however, that Sammy could... Ever since Gabriel had showed up, Sam had been a grade a dick. What that was all about Dean had no idea. All he knew was that Sam had been sort of... well stupid when Gabriel had been around, stuttering and clumsy whenever he had tried to speak to the angel. And then he just got really damn annoying since the archangel had blinked out with Cas on some super important mission. Dean didn't ask and they didn't say...
"You gonna tell me what's up?" He asked Sam as he pushed open the door of the hotel, walking in he dumped himself on the bed and stretched out peering up at his brother.
"No" Sam snapped back.
"Whatever dude, pull your finger out and cheer up would ya, I'm a grab a shower" And with that Dean pulled himself up off the bed and headed into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sam watched Dean's retreating back and sighed in relief. How the hell could he actually tell his brother what the problem was? He couldn't that's all there was too it and he would cut his own tongue out before he gave up his secret.
It was a stupid secret anyway, really
'I mean who the hell falls in love with a goddamned archangel, an archangel who hid as a trickster for thousands of years, and who was most likely completely straight, and very male... Sam was male too, so yeah, problem there you see it...' Sam thought to himself sullenly. 'and anyway, I'm not gay either... not even a little...'
Yeah except for the part where you're in love with a male angel, his brain stubbornly pointed out for him.
He's honestly not even sure how it happened, this whole sorry mess. He knows the when, sure, hell he can tell you the exact moment. But he still can't for the life of him tell you the how. He thinks he can maybe explain the why... but that scares him to much so he doesn't think on it too hard.
So anyway, yeah, the when... well that was about six months after they worked out that the Trickster and Gabriel were one and the same. At first, Sam... he hated Gabriel, almost as much as Dean did... Then the stupid angel had to go and start helping them... but it was more than that, he started hanging out, talking to Sam, giving him an escape from the complete shit fight that had become his life. He made the guilt and bullshit fade for a while. Just by distracting Sam. Turns out, Gabriel... really interesting dude. But then, he has seen enough of life to have more than a few stories to tell.
Then Gabriel started doing little things, just for Sam, things that had nothing to do with saving the world or helping them stop Lucifer. No they were just small things that made Sam's life easier. Like blocking out Dean's nonstop best of the 80's music from making it to his brain and instead playing ever one of Sam's all time favourite songs. Apparently, Dean was completely oblivious to this, because Dean looked at him like he was nuts when he asked why he'd changed the music. Then there were the times Sam had bad dreams, they had started getting worse, Sam thought Lucifer might have had something to do with it. After Gabriel had started sticking around, Sam would find himself halfway through a nightmare only to have it change and fade into an insanely peaceful nothingness. It took him a while to realise who was doing it. However it had been that moment, the moment he realised what Gabriel was doing for him, on top of everything else he'd learnt about the angel... that, that was when he'd finally worked out he was in love.
And all that would have been fan - fucking - tastic, if Gabriel had been in love with him too. However, that was just never going to happen. Sam knew it, he wasn't an idiot. NO actually he was an idiot. Cause he had believed that the archangel felt the same way... So he had gotten really, really drunk, cause fuck it, he needed some liquid courage damn it. And he had called Gabriel and told him just how much he loved him. Gabriel had shown up a moment later, taken one look at Sam in his drunkenness and burst out laughing. Had told him to pull the other one, that no one tricked the trickster... blah blah blah. And that had been the end of it. Gabriel had snapped Sam back to his motel, straight into his bed and Sam had not ever mentioned it again... ever.
That had been four months ago, and he had managed to stay away from Gabriel for the most part. He had been quiet and blushed like a teenage girl with a crush every time the angel did show up, and had done his best to run away for a number of various reasons.
Today, this morning, had been the first time he had been alone with the angel since that night. And that was the cause of his shitty mood for the rest of the day. Gabriel had laughed at him again for that night. Teased him like it had just been some game Sam was playing. When the hurt and pain flashed across Sam's face before he could stop it, Gabriel had stopped laughing and gone silent for a long moment just staring at Sam. Then he had snapped his fingers and disappeared. Yeah it had been a shitty damn day, and Sam was pretty sure he ain't gonna see the archangel anytime soon.
Sam rolled over and cuddled into his cheap motel pillow only to have it become a soft downy and clearly expensive version. A grin spread across his lips for the first time since Gabriel had left that morning and he muttered out a soft thank you to the angel before sleep pulled him under on his now wonderfully soft comfy pillow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Morning sunshine"
Sam groaned and rolled over in... What was most defiantly not the bed he went to sleep in...
"What the..."
He sat up and blinked in the early morning light sleepily, looking for the source of the voice. Even though he was 99% sure who it was already.
"Gabriel?" he's voice still deep and sleep ridden.
"Got it in one kiddo" Came the cheery reply and suddenly the bed dipped as the weight of another person was added to it. Sam rubbed his eyes and blinked again.
"Whoa..." He let out in shock when he saw just how close the angel was to him on the bed, their faces just inches apart. Sam scooted back a foot and let out a tight breath.
"Easy there tiger, just a friendly wake up call. We're going to play a little game Sammy."
"We are?" Sam asked, unsure of what the hell was happening.
"Yep! It's simple, first I'm going to ask you a question, then you will ask me one. If you want me to answer yours honestly, you need to answer mine, whatever it is, completely truthfully also. I will know if you don't Sam, and there will be a punishment, believe me on that!"
Sam shook a little, he was pretty damn sure he didn't want to play this game... but it wasn't exactly easy to say no to someone who could smite you with just a touch.
He nodded dumbly, pouting.
"Aww come on Sam, it won't be that bad, scouts honour" Gabriel held up two fingers in what Sam assumed was meant to pass as that of the boys scouts hand thingy.
"You were never in the scouts Gabriel" he pointed out sourly.
"True, well anyway, we're playing, so suck it up princess."
"Ok, my first question" Gabriel moves to sit cross legged in the middle of the bed and smiles dangerously at Sam.
"Are you proportionate?" He waggles his eyebrows and leers at Sam.
"Excuse me..." Sam sputters and blushes furiously.
"tsk tsk Sammy, first you have to ask me a question, then we answer remember"
Sam's mouth snaps shut and he thinks for a moment, if he was going to do this, he was at least going to get some information from the angel.
"Have you ever had a real relationship with anyone?" Sam asked softly, not caring if the question might give away some of his ulterior motives.
"Hmm interesting question" Gabriel smiles "Alright, I asked first, so you get to decide if we answer, and the answer has to be the truth."
Sam flinches "I want to know your answer" he tells Gabriel quietly
"Alright, answer my question Sammy boy and you'll get your answer"
"You promise to be honest with me?" Sam asks.
"Completely" comes the answer.
"Yes" Sam swallows and blushes, not able to meet Gabriel's eyes when he answers the question.
Gabriel chuckles at his answer, "Short, to the point, I like your style Sammy"
"Ok, relationships... yeah no, not anything serious, never been in love if that is what you want to know. Never used to think it was an option for me... not until... Well anyway, that's not part of your question, so moving on"
"Your turn to go first Sam"
Sam stares at Gabriel, not sure whether to feel disappointed or hopeful after his answer.
"Umm ok..." Sam thinks for a moment, crossing his legs and sitting directly in front of Gabriel, close but not close enough to touch.
"What do you think about Dean and Cas being together?" He asks, thinking that it might give him some idea on how Gabriel views his brother’s relationship, seeing as he would really love to have that sort of thing with Gabriel.
"Alrighty... my turn. When was the last time you feel in love?"
Sam sucks in a sharp breath and locks eye's with Gabriel. He really, really doesn't want to answer that. But this time around it's up to Gabriel to decide if they answer or not.
"So, we gonna you know, answer?" Sam asks quietly.
"Yep, we really are Sammy. And for me, honestly, as much as your brother annoys me most of the time, he makes Castiel happy, and my little bro deserves a bit of that alongside the shit fight he's gone and gotten himself in since he met Dean. Course, without his feelings for Dean he wouldn't be where he is right now, but hey, whose keeping score right? So all in all, I'm happy they're happy. Your turn now"
Sam looked down at his hands and breathed deeply, working up the nerve to answer. Gabriel's answer had lifted his spirits a little at least.
"The... ahh, the last time I fell in love was about... um. About six months ago." Sam all but whispered.
"Alrighty"
Sam looked up to find Gabriel looking at him with a small smile on his face that Sam had never seen the angel wear before. It made his stomach flop.
"Next question. Do you think this person you're in love with, loves you back?" Gabriel asked softly, so unlike himself it made Sam stare at him for a moment before asking his next question.
"Do you... do you only like women?" Sam blushed again and tried to cover it up with a smirk.
"Interesting question kiddo, you want me to answer it?"
"Yes, I do want you to answer it... and no I don't think they are... in love with me, the person who I ... anyway yeah, no they're not."
Gabriel gazed at him for a long moment after his answer, expression unreadable, but something in it made Sam feel like Gabriel was silently calling him an idiot...
"No, I don't only like women, well... I've never been with a guy, but I wouldn't rule anything out before trying it at least once." Gabriel leered and laughed. Making Sam's insides turn to jello."
"Who is it... Who do you love Sam?"
Sam froze.
NO.
Just no.
He was not answering that, he was done with this bullshit game.
"Answer the question Sammy..." Gabriel's voice was soft, almost pleading, and he reached out a hand and gently pulled Sam's chin up until he was forced to look Gabriel in the eyes. There was no hint of laughter in the angel’s eyes now, so if this was some bullshit joke of his, Sam couldn’t see it...
"I... please don't make me answer Gabriel..." he whispered brokenly.
"You're wrong you know Sammy. About them not loving you back..." Gabriel murmured quietly.
Sam couldn't respond, his brain had stopped working, and with it everything else he normally found so simple. Like breathing.
"Who is it Sam?"
"You..." Sam gasped out, he wasn't even sure it made since it was so rushed and quiet. He couldn't look at Gabriel even though the angel still had his chin in his hand, so he closed his eyes tightly.
"Look at me Sam" Gabriel whispered so close to Sam's face he could feel the others breathe soft and warm on his lips.
He slowly opened his eyes, looking somewhere between mortified and hopeful. Gabriel after all, hadn't smitted him yet.
"You're an idiot you know that Sammy?" Gabriel teased him affectionately. "And you're still wrong if you think they don't love you back... cause trust me Sammy, they do... a whole lot."
"Say it Gabriel... I need you to say it... make it real" Sam whispered from deep in his chest, still not able to breathe. Still not sure he could believe that what Gabriel was saying... not saying was real.
"I love you Samuel Winchester..." Gabriel murmured softly, looking straight into Sam's eyes for a moment before his lips pressed softly into Sam's in their first kiss.
Sam gasped at the first press of lips, sensation overwhelming him, before he pressed into the kiss and returned it with everything he had. It could have lasted hours for all Sam could tell of the passing of time. It was warm and wet, lips and tongue, passionate and full of promise. And unlike any kiss Sam had ever had...
"I love you" he whispered against Gabriel's lips when they finally had to come up for air... or at least Sam had to.
"Love you too... idiot" Gabriel smirked and chuckled when Sam slapped a large hand against his chest before pulling the archangel back in for another kiss.