Like a hells angel riding a moped [timestamp - "A love story"]
Title: Like a hells angel riding a moped [timestamp - "A love story"]
Authors: kimisgirl (wrote Cas, future!dean and Future!Cas) and doubledgedsword (wrote Dean)
Pairing: Castiel/Dean
Rating/Warnings: NC17 this part. Non.Con (not this part but this story will include rape at one point) Mental and Physical abuse hinted at.
Summary: The future Dean finds himself in thanks to Zachariah is not like the past he has just left. He and Castiel are no longer together and he is shocked to find out just how bad it's gone for them. He is horrified by his future self and how broken he has become. Can he do anything
AN: This is a timestamp from the "A love story" verse. It can stand alone if you don't want to read the previous story. But parts of it will make more sense if you do read it :D. It is set between the end of "A love story" and "Things fall apart"
Disclaimer: None of the supernatural characters or storylines belong to us :( -sad face-
"Dean? Sorry I didn't get that..." Castiel almost shouted into the phone as a truck roared past him on the highway. Admittedly, maybe the side of a highway wasn't the best place the angel could have chosen to call Dean but he was here now so he would just have to make do. He frowned frustrated as Dean made some joke about talking to an angel on a cell as the voice of a woman came across the line telling him he was almost out of minutes. He was not sure what that meant exactly, being new to the cell phone business. However he decided it probably wasn't a good thing.
"Dean, this is serious, the voice says I'm almost out of minutes" he said into the phone to stress the trouble of his situation to the man. "It was your idea I get my own cell phone anyway remember?" He couldn't help a small smile at this memory. Dean had complained that he could never contact him unless Cas called him first, so Castiel had consented and gotten himself a cell. It had been before they'd managed to figure out how they felt about each other even, and even back then Dean had wanted to be able to contact him. Of course the man had insisted it was in case he was dying and needed angelic assistance, but Castiel like to believe otherwise.
"I have some information about the colt, where are you?" He asked as he stood quietly. He couldn't help the raised heart beat he felt at the thought of being close to Dean again, it had been a few days since they'd seen each other. Dean had helped him with Raphael and then Castiel had had to continue his search for his father, he had also been searching for any other way he might be able to help Dean kill the devil, that hopefully didn't end with Dean dead and the devil ruling the world. So when he'd found out about the colt and that it might still exist he had called Dean. Hence the yelling into a phone in the middle of the night on the side of a highway.
Dean sounded exhausted, but Castiel still hadn't gotten a grasp on the fact that sometimes he missed what it meant to be human, that Dean needed a break sometimes to eat, sleep. And this was one of those times. He was so keen to get them started on finding the colt that he didn't see the point in waiting a second longer. He planned to head straight to Dean and then they could work on it together from there.
~*~
Dean was dog tired. He had just driven for sixteen hours straight, and as he had entered the motel a Jehovah's Witness outside had stopped him in his path and said, "Excuse me, friend, but have you taken time out to think about God's plan for you?". Dean had just grinned wryly at him and said, "Too friggin' much, pal!"
He had flopped on the bed as soon as he reached the room, sighing contentedly. It may have been a lumpy mattress with suspicious looking stains and a funny smell to the bed linens, but it was a bed, and that meant sleep, sleep and more sleep, with the possibility of pie in the morning from the promising looking diner he had seen just down the street.
Just as he closed his eyes, his cell phone rang. He groaned and answered it, but smiled instantly when he heard Cas. "Hey, Cas baby," Dean said, his voice warming instantly. "You know, it's kind of funny talking to a messenger of God on a cell phone. It's like watching a hells angel ride a moped." He chuckled to himself, wondering if Cas would get the joke.
Cas sounded frustrated and confused on the other end of the line, so he instantly stopped making jokes. Even if his minutes were almost up, Dean would have called him back. He wouldn't leave him hanging like that. "Okay, alright..." Dean said.
He looked much more alert when Cas mentioned the Colt. "We're talking about the Colt, right? I mean, as in the Colt?" he asked, his voice urgent. If Cas knew where it was, that would be... well, it would epic. It meant they had a chance. They could take out old Nick without Dean needing to become an angel condom, and since Dean and Cas had realised that they were made for each other, Dean had been all the more determined not to let Michael in. "But I'm telling you, Cass, the mooks will have melted down the gun by now. Demons aren't gonna keep something around that will kill other demons."
He grunted as he leaned over the bed and picked his room key off the bedside table. He read it out to Cas over the phone. "I'm in... Kansas city. Century Hotel, room 113."
~*~
Castiel couldn't help a little smile despite his frustration when Dean called him baby and he heard the warmth in his voice. Every time he heard the pet name from Dean it made his heart jump. He still couldn't tell why he liked it so much, but like it he surely did. "Sorry to sound so.... grumpy Dean, it has been a long few days." He returned softly feeling bad he'd been so unfriendly to begin with.
"Yes, The colt" Castiel confirmed as he watched another car race past him and frowned at the speed humans seemed willing to hurl themselves along the road at. Something he had asked Dean more than once to keep in mind, not that he ever listened of course. It would be all Castiel needed if the man killed himself by driving to fast.
"Well I hear differently" he said firmly when Dean said that the demons would have melted the gun down by now. He had sources in which he trusted and as far as they knew the gun was still out there. He pondered over what exactly a mook was for a moment but decided it wasn't important as Dean had clearly meant the demons.
"I'll be there immediately" He returned when Dean told him his room number and the name of the hotel in Kansas City. He was already lowering his phone ready to hang up and take off when he heard Dean's voice sounding rather agitated over the end of the line so he raised it to his ear again quickly and listened. His eyes narrowing in an annoyed question as he listened to Dean go on about being human and needing time to do stuff. "What Stuff?" He asked suspiciously wondering what could be more important than finding the colt and what being human had to do with any of it...
~*~
Dean grinned tiredly as Cas apologised. "Hey, I don't mind. It's been a long few days for me, too." Without Sam around, Dean had to rely on himself to drive everywhere. It meant that he got less sleep, and he was so tired tonight he needed a proper eight hour's rest. Coffee wouldn't keep him going tonight, not in this state, and if Cas really did know where the Colt was, Dean wanted to be on top form when they went after it.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa..." he protested. "No, no, come on, Cas. I just drove like sixteen hours straight, okay? I'm human. And there's stuff I got to do," Dean said, lying back on the bed and pulling off his socks to ready himself for sleep. While he would have been more than happy for Cas to zap in so they could spend some time together, he was too tired, and he knew that he wouldn't sleep if his angel showed up. They hadn't seen each other in a few days, and he wanted to give him the attention he deserved when they finally saw one another, rather than passing out in a drooling, sleep-deprived mess like he knew he was about to.
"What stuff?" Dean asked, and he would have laughed if he wasn't so worn out. "Eat, for example. In this case, sleep. I just need like four hours once in a while, okay?" he explained. He felt badly for refusing to let him come by, but he wasn't able for this right now. He could feel his eyes closing, and he still hadn't even taken his socks off...
"Okay, so, you can pop in tomorrow morning," Dean said, the note of finality in his voice undeniable. "See you then, precious." He hoped Cas would do something to occupy himself between now and then, but he couldn't have been more wrong.
He hung up and just closed his eyes, falling asleep before he had even put the phone down.
~*~
Castiel suddenly realised that he may have misjudged just how tired Dean was. He knew if Dean was even half way ok he'd have wanted Cas to join him. He still wasn't that happy about having to wait but he nodded solemnly as he answered Dean. "Yes" his tone still frustrated but softer than it had been. He said Yes again when Dean asked if he'd just pop in tomorrow in the morning and a smile graced his eyes when Dean called him precious, he knew the man was doing it to show Castiel that it wasn't him he didn't want to see, but that he really was just too tired to see anyone right now.
"I'll just..." the phone went dead and Cas lowered it in an unsure movement, not sure whether he should finish his sentence or not, but it was already half way out so he let it finish. "... wait here then"
As he hung up the phone and put it back in his pocket, he stood at the side of the road and began his waiting. The road wasn't terribly busy so he could simply stand and think of Dean and listen to the night. An owl hooted somewhere to his right and the wind in the trees made the leaves rustle. Other than that, all was quiet as the angel simply stood waiting for morning and his appointment with Dean.
~*~
Dean was asleep within moments, and dreaming a sweet dream of Cas. It was pleasant to dream about him all on his own, without knowing some demon was controlling it. Barely two hours into his sleep, Dean heard his cell phone going off. He groaned, and tried to ignore it. If it was important, they'd call back. If it wasn't, they'd leave a message.
When the phone continued to ring, Dean struggled to sit up through a fog of sleep and fumbled about, sleep-blind and swearing, for his phone. When he eventually found it on the floor, he picked it up and answered, moaning down the line, "Damn it, Cas, I need to sleep!"
The voice on the other end was Sammy's, and Dean woke up a bit more. Despite everything, despite the fact that he and Sam were separated so to speak... Dean still considered it his responsibility to look out for him. Had Sammy said he was in trouble, Dean would have risked his life to drive to where he was and help him, no matter how tired he was. He fumbled for the motel's alarm clock, and glowered at it when it calmly told him the time in glow-in-the-dark digital numbers.
"Sam? It's a quarter past four!" Dean grumbled, hoping that Sam was just calling because he was having a bitch fit about whatever job he was doing now, rather than actually in trouble. This had better be god-damn worth waking me up at this ungodly hour! Dean thought to himself.
~*~
Sam
"Dean" Sam said almost to quietly into the phone, still not sure he should even be making this call, but he had to, he couldn't not do it. Not after that dream, not after what Lucifer had told him. He needed his brother to know and so he didn't care what time it was, he called anyway, knowing Dean would answer. What he hadn't expected was for the first thing out of his brothers mouth to be him grumbling to Castiel. "It's me..." he finished as he gave the dark night outside the car windscreen a 'what the fuck' look.
"What made you think it was Cas? Trouble in paradise?" He regretted even asking the moment the words were out of his mouth. He knew Dean wouldn't want to talk about it if there were something going on with the two of them. Not to Sam anyway, not anymore. Since they went there seperate ways Dean hadn't so much as called Sam.
"Never mind I don't wanna know" he hurried to continue. "Dean I know its early but I really needed to talk to you..." he paused and waited for the hang up or the grunt of consent which would mean he could continue. He was nervous, more nervous than he'd ever been while talking to Dean and he fucking hated it. Hated this rift between them that just seemed to keep growing as more shit was jammed into it. Sam wanted desperately to be given a second chance by Dean, to prove he could change, could get it right, like he told Lucifer he would. That Lucifer would never get him to say yes because he could change, he would change, but a small voice inside him told him he couldn't do it without his brother to keep him strong.
~*~
Dean hadn't heard from Sam in weeks, and despite the absence his first instinct was to find out what was wong with his little brother and fix whatever was hurting him. He had to fight that impulse down, and force himself to be calm and in control. It was something he had picked up from Cas... How to shut off his instincts and emotions when he didn't want others to see them and exploit them.
"Ah... nothing," Dean said quickly. "Just expected a call from him." He was sort of glad it had been Sam on the end of the line rather than Cas. Had he snapped at the angel like he had at Sam when he picked up, he would have hurt him badly. He would have called Sammy a bitch for his remark, but he was putting into practice what he had learned now, so he let if fly.
"It had better be god-damn important, Sammy," Dean said, leaning back on the pillows with the phone still pressed to his ear. "Because if you woke me up for no good reason, I'll have to put you on my hunting list, you hear?" He glowered at the alarm clock's readout once more, and said, "Come on. Spill."
The note of fear in Sam's voice was what made him agree to listen. Sam rarely ever sounded this scared, even when Dean was about to face down Lilith and her hellhounds nearly two years ago. He wished desperately for a coffee, but he knew that wasn't going to happen, so he sat up in the bed and pinched the back of his hand to make sure he stayed awake.
~*~
Sam chanced a nervous chuckle, even if it was a sad sounding one. "Yeah Dean, it's important I swear" he said with a clear undercurrent of ironic understatement in his tone. Yeah it's important if you think me being Lucifer's fucking bitch boy will be a problem... he thought bitterly. He didn't say that though, it was hardly Dean's fault Lucifer wanted to use him as a meat suit.
"It's Lucifer... he... er... Dean, he told me I'm his true vessel... he said I would say yes, let him in, he sounded so sure of himself Dean, but he can't know that can he? Because Dean I know I will never say yes..."
He stopped and he could feel his hands shaking a little until he bit down on his lip and told himself to stop being a fucking baby and suck it up.
"Dean, I'm... I just thought you should know is all..." he had been going to say he was scared, that he needed Dean to tell him it was going to be ok, that he'd protect him like he'd done since they were kids but he couldn't, he couldn't say a damn word of it. So he just sat silent and waited for what was coming. He didn't know what he was expecting but he was pretty sure it wasn't going to be butterflies and teddy bears and shit to make him feel better. That just wasn't Dean's style.
~*~
Dean went quiet for a moment. Lucifer's true vessel? That meant that he and Sam were destined to duke it out while being angel and fallen angel condoms respectively, and in all likelihood fuck up the world even more than they already had. Fucking Hell... this whole Armageddon shit just got better and better with every day, didn't it!
He stopped pinching himself, realising that he was as wide awake right now as he could have possibly been. "How did he find you?" Dean demanded.
He waited for Sam's reply, and nodded grimly. Exactly how the succubus had found him - in the dreamworld, rather than in reality. Fucking demons. He was half tempted to let Michael take control of his body just so he could fuck up as many of those dream-hijacking sons of bitches as he could.
"So, you're his vessel, huh? Lucifer's wearing you to the prom?" Dean asked, his voice calm once more. "Just when you thought you were out, they pull you back in, huh, Sammy?" He was astounded at the coolness in his own voice. He should have been freaking out, but he was so confident that he wouldn't say yes to Michael, and that Sammy wouldn't give the go-ahead to Lucifer, that the freakout that should have happened to him didn't, and instead went on to bother an alleycat outside the motel that had been peacefully hunting for mice.
Ignorant of this, Dean sighed and said, "Well, I know now. Can I go back to sleep, or are you looking for yet another deep and meaningful about it?"
~*~
Sam sat in silence for a moment at his brothers reply, his eyes a little wider and something akin to anger boiling up from somewhere deep inside him. What the fuck, Dean didn't even seem like he gave a fuck, suddenly Sam felt like an idiot for thinking Dean would even want to know. He was tempted to simply hang up, but he still wanted to ask Dean if he could come back, get back in on the hunting.
"So, that's it? That's your response?" he asked, voice cold with shock and hurt. He listened to Dean ask him what he was expecting and he spat out a little sarcastically, as though he thought it was ridiculous he had to spell it out for his brother.
"I don't know. A-a little panic, maybe?"
Once again he listened to his brothers reply and sighed. "What are we gonna do about it?" he asked barely knowing why he was still bothering with the conversation. Dean clearly didn't give a rats ass so he should just hang up and go his own way. To hell with Dean, he thought he had needed him, but after this he guessed he was wrong. He'd do it on his own, hell it was what he'd wanted when he went off to college, to get away from his family, so he should be happy right? .... so why then did he feel like complete shit?
"I want back in, Dean" he added softly, determined to get it out there, let his brother make of it what he would.
~*~
Dean was a little annoyed now. Had Sam expected him to gasp out OH NOOO! like an overly-dramatic fangirl and come running to the rescue? He may have done that in the past, but not any more. He and Sam were long past that whole brotherly rescue thing they had been such big fans of. Things change when your brother chooses a demon over you.
"What are you looking for?" Dean snapped. "A little panic? Well, I guess I'm a little numb to the earth-shattering revelations at this point. Seems like there's a new one every day, and they kinda lost their shock value around the point that your eyes turned black."
He knew he had gone too far then, and while he wanted to backtrack and apologise, he realised that this was the only chance he would have to make Sam realise he was serious. They had parted ways, just like they had done when Sam went to college all those years ago. It was always Sam's decisions that forced his hand, not the other way round, and Dean was frigging tired of it.
"What do you want to do about it?" Dean countered. He sat in stunned silence, and then said nastily, "So, what, you're just gonna walk back in and we're gonna be the dynamic duo again?" He shook his head, and then remembered Sam couldn't see that gesture through the phone. "Sam..." he began, but was cut off by Sam's next words.
~*~
"Nice Dean" he spat anger boiling to the surface now... "Real fuckin' classy, way to make me feel worse than I already was."
He gripped the steering wheel tight and blinked at the sting attacking his eyes. He was not going to cry, not over this... no. fucking. way.
"Look, Dean, i can do this. I can. I'm gonna prove it to you." he almost growled. His anger still chasing him through the phone. "And you know what, I think we should do it apart, seeing as that's what you want so badly. I'll show you I'm not a monster Dean, that I can change, even if you don't care enough to pay attention." He huffed out over the phone before sitting in silence once more.
He hadn't meant a word of what he'd just said, not really, it was anger and bitterness talking. He didn't want to be apart from his brother, he didn't want to have to do it alone, and he really wasn't sure he could prove it to Dean without Dean there to help keep him strong. Dean had always been like his guiding star... that was until you chose a demon over him you asshat, his own brain yelled at him. And he shoved it back telling it to shut up, rather than facing the fact that all of this, every goddamn part of it, was his fault not Deans.
~*~
Dean heard the harsh edge of anger to Sam's voice, but that wasn't what bothered him. He had also heard the cutting and unmistakeable sound of hurt!Sam underneath the anger. He sighed. Well... it was now or never.
"Look, Sam -- It doesn't matter," Dean said, his voice more gentle than it had been but with a hint of weariness to it. "Whatever we do. I mean, it turns out that you and me, we're the fire and the oil of Armageddon. And on that basis alone, we should just pick a hemisphere and stay away from each other for good."
Saying this to Sam... suggesting a permanent separation from the only blood family he had left killed Dean more than he cared to admit. "Yeah, you're right," Dean began slowly. "I'm sure you can change. But not with me. We're not stronger when we're together, Sam. I think we're weaker. Because whatever we have between us - love, family, whatever it is... They are always gonna use it against us. And you know that. We're better off apart! We've got a better chance of dodging Lucifer and Michael and this whole damn thing, if we just go our own ways."
He added with a hint of bitterness to his voice, "Oh, I care, Sammy. It's why we're better off doing this."
He said a quiet, "Bye, Sam." before hanging up and turning his cell off. No more phone calls for him tonight. He should have shut it off earlier.
He rolled over onto his belly and buried his head under the pillow, longing to return to the sleep he had been enjoying before Sam rang with - oh, goody! - more good news. He grumbled to himself to stave off the feelings of guilt and eventually fell asleep, not knowing just what he would be waking up to all too soon...
weller momix tickets
Comments are love.
This is just a little something we wrote and I decided to post. Hope y'all like it.
Authors: kimisgirl (wrote Cas, future!dean and Future!Cas) and doubledgedsword (wrote Dean)
Pairing: Castiel/Dean
Rating/Warnings: NC17 this part. Non.Con (not this part but this story will include rape at one point) Mental and Physical abuse hinted at.
Summary: The future Dean finds himself in thanks to Zachariah is not like the past he has just left. He and Castiel are no longer together and he is shocked to find out just how bad it's gone for them. He is horrified by his future self and how broken he has become. Can he do anything
AN: This is a timestamp from the "A love story" verse. It can stand alone if you don't want to read the previous story. But parts of it will make more sense if you do read it :D. It is set between the end of "A love story" and "Things fall apart"
Disclaimer: None of the supernatural characters or storylines belong to us :( -sad face-
"Dean? Sorry I didn't get that..." Castiel almost shouted into the phone as a truck roared past him on the highway. Admittedly, maybe the side of a highway wasn't the best place the angel could have chosen to call Dean but he was here now so he would just have to make do. He frowned frustrated as Dean made some joke about talking to an angel on a cell as the voice of a woman came across the line telling him he was almost out of minutes. He was not sure what that meant exactly, being new to the cell phone business. However he decided it probably wasn't a good thing.
"Dean, this is serious, the voice says I'm almost out of minutes" he said into the phone to stress the trouble of his situation to the man. "It was your idea I get my own cell phone anyway remember?" He couldn't help a small smile at this memory. Dean had complained that he could never contact him unless Cas called him first, so Castiel had consented and gotten himself a cell. It had been before they'd managed to figure out how they felt about each other even, and even back then Dean had wanted to be able to contact him. Of course the man had insisted it was in case he was dying and needed angelic assistance, but Castiel like to believe otherwise.
"I have some information about the colt, where are you?" He asked as he stood quietly. He couldn't help the raised heart beat he felt at the thought of being close to Dean again, it had been a few days since they'd seen each other. Dean had helped him with Raphael and then Castiel had had to continue his search for his father, he had also been searching for any other way he might be able to help Dean kill the devil, that hopefully didn't end with Dean dead and the devil ruling the world. So when he'd found out about the colt and that it might still exist he had called Dean. Hence the yelling into a phone in the middle of the night on the side of a highway.
Dean sounded exhausted, but Castiel still hadn't gotten a grasp on the fact that sometimes he missed what it meant to be human, that Dean needed a break sometimes to eat, sleep. And this was one of those times. He was so keen to get them started on finding the colt that he didn't see the point in waiting a second longer. He planned to head straight to Dean and then they could work on it together from there.
~*~
Dean was dog tired. He had just driven for sixteen hours straight, and as he had entered the motel a Jehovah's Witness outside had stopped him in his path and said, "Excuse me, friend, but have you taken time out to think about God's plan for you?". Dean had just grinned wryly at him and said, "Too friggin' much, pal!"
He had flopped on the bed as soon as he reached the room, sighing contentedly. It may have been a lumpy mattress with suspicious looking stains and a funny smell to the bed linens, but it was a bed, and that meant sleep, sleep and more sleep, with the possibility of pie in the morning from the promising looking diner he had seen just down the street.
Just as he closed his eyes, his cell phone rang. He groaned and answered it, but smiled instantly when he heard Cas. "Hey, Cas baby," Dean said, his voice warming instantly. "You know, it's kind of funny talking to a messenger of God on a cell phone. It's like watching a hells angel ride a moped." He chuckled to himself, wondering if Cas would get the joke.
Cas sounded frustrated and confused on the other end of the line, so he instantly stopped making jokes. Even if his minutes were almost up, Dean would have called him back. He wouldn't leave him hanging like that. "Okay, alright..." Dean said.
He looked much more alert when Cas mentioned the Colt. "We're talking about the Colt, right? I mean, as in the Colt?" he asked, his voice urgent. If Cas knew where it was, that would be... well, it would epic. It meant they had a chance. They could take out old Nick without Dean needing to become an angel condom, and since Dean and Cas had realised that they were made for each other, Dean had been all the more determined not to let Michael in. "But I'm telling you, Cass, the mooks will have melted down the gun by now. Demons aren't gonna keep something around that will kill other demons."
He grunted as he leaned over the bed and picked his room key off the bedside table. He read it out to Cas over the phone. "I'm in... Kansas city. Century Hotel, room 113."
~*~
Castiel couldn't help a little smile despite his frustration when Dean called him baby and he heard the warmth in his voice. Every time he heard the pet name from Dean it made his heart jump. He still couldn't tell why he liked it so much, but like it he surely did. "Sorry to sound so.... grumpy Dean, it has been a long few days." He returned softly feeling bad he'd been so unfriendly to begin with.
"Yes, The colt" Castiel confirmed as he watched another car race past him and frowned at the speed humans seemed willing to hurl themselves along the road at. Something he had asked Dean more than once to keep in mind, not that he ever listened of course. It would be all Castiel needed if the man killed himself by driving to fast.
"Well I hear differently" he said firmly when Dean said that the demons would have melted the gun down by now. He had sources in which he trusted and as far as they knew the gun was still out there. He pondered over what exactly a mook was for a moment but decided it wasn't important as Dean had clearly meant the demons.
"I'll be there immediately" He returned when Dean told him his room number and the name of the hotel in Kansas City. He was already lowering his phone ready to hang up and take off when he heard Dean's voice sounding rather agitated over the end of the line so he raised it to his ear again quickly and listened. His eyes narrowing in an annoyed question as he listened to Dean go on about being human and needing time to do stuff. "What Stuff?" He asked suspiciously wondering what could be more important than finding the colt and what being human had to do with any of it...
~*~
Dean grinned tiredly as Cas apologised. "Hey, I don't mind. It's been a long few days for me, too." Without Sam around, Dean had to rely on himself to drive everywhere. It meant that he got less sleep, and he was so tired tonight he needed a proper eight hour's rest. Coffee wouldn't keep him going tonight, not in this state, and if Cas really did know where the Colt was, Dean wanted to be on top form when they went after it.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa..." he protested. "No, no, come on, Cas. I just drove like sixteen hours straight, okay? I'm human. And there's stuff I got to do," Dean said, lying back on the bed and pulling off his socks to ready himself for sleep. While he would have been more than happy for Cas to zap in so they could spend some time together, he was too tired, and he knew that he wouldn't sleep if his angel showed up. They hadn't seen each other in a few days, and he wanted to give him the attention he deserved when they finally saw one another, rather than passing out in a drooling, sleep-deprived mess like he knew he was about to.
"What stuff?" Dean asked, and he would have laughed if he wasn't so worn out. "Eat, for example. In this case, sleep. I just need like four hours once in a while, okay?" he explained. He felt badly for refusing to let him come by, but he wasn't able for this right now. He could feel his eyes closing, and he still hadn't even taken his socks off...
"Okay, so, you can pop in tomorrow morning," Dean said, the note of finality in his voice undeniable. "See you then, precious." He hoped Cas would do something to occupy himself between now and then, but he couldn't have been more wrong.
He hung up and just closed his eyes, falling asleep before he had even put the phone down.
~*~
Castiel suddenly realised that he may have misjudged just how tired Dean was. He knew if Dean was even half way ok he'd have wanted Cas to join him. He still wasn't that happy about having to wait but he nodded solemnly as he answered Dean. "Yes" his tone still frustrated but softer than it had been. He said Yes again when Dean asked if he'd just pop in tomorrow in the morning and a smile graced his eyes when Dean called him precious, he knew the man was doing it to show Castiel that it wasn't him he didn't want to see, but that he really was just too tired to see anyone right now.
"I'll just..." the phone went dead and Cas lowered it in an unsure movement, not sure whether he should finish his sentence or not, but it was already half way out so he let it finish. "... wait here then"
As he hung up the phone and put it back in his pocket, he stood at the side of the road and began his waiting. The road wasn't terribly busy so he could simply stand and think of Dean and listen to the night. An owl hooted somewhere to his right and the wind in the trees made the leaves rustle. Other than that, all was quiet as the angel simply stood waiting for morning and his appointment with Dean.
~*~
Dean was asleep within moments, and dreaming a sweet dream of Cas. It was pleasant to dream about him all on his own, without knowing some demon was controlling it. Barely two hours into his sleep, Dean heard his cell phone going off. He groaned, and tried to ignore it. If it was important, they'd call back. If it wasn't, they'd leave a message.
When the phone continued to ring, Dean struggled to sit up through a fog of sleep and fumbled about, sleep-blind and swearing, for his phone. When he eventually found it on the floor, he picked it up and answered, moaning down the line, "Damn it, Cas, I need to sleep!"
The voice on the other end was Sammy's, and Dean woke up a bit more. Despite everything, despite the fact that he and Sam were separated so to speak... Dean still considered it his responsibility to look out for him. Had Sammy said he was in trouble, Dean would have risked his life to drive to where he was and help him, no matter how tired he was. He fumbled for the motel's alarm clock, and glowered at it when it calmly told him the time in glow-in-the-dark digital numbers.
"Sam? It's a quarter past four!" Dean grumbled, hoping that Sam was just calling because he was having a bitch fit about whatever job he was doing now, rather than actually in trouble. This had better be god-damn worth waking me up at this ungodly hour! Dean thought to himself.
~*~
Sam
"Dean" Sam said almost to quietly into the phone, still not sure he should even be making this call, but he had to, he couldn't not do it. Not after that dream, not after what Lucifer had told him. He needed his brother to know and so he didn't care what time it was, he called anyway, knowing Dean would answer. What he hadn't expected was for the first thing out of his brothers mouth to be him grumbling to Castiel. "It's me..." he finished as he gave the dark night outside the car windscreen a 'what the fuck' look.
"What made you think it was Cas? Trouble in paradise?" He regretted even asking the moment the words were out of his mouth. He knew Dean wouldn't want to talk about it if there were something going on with the two of them. Not to Sam anyway, not anymore. Since they went there seperate ways Dean hadn't so much as called Sam.
"Never mind I don't wanna know" he hurried to continue. "Dean I know its early but I really needed to talk to you..." he paused and waited for the hang up or the grunt of consent which would mean he could continue. He was nervous, more nervous than he'd ever been while talking to Dean and he fucking hated it. Hated this rift between them that just seemed to keep growing as more shit was jammed into it. Sam wanted desperately to be given a second chance by Dean, to prove he could change, could get it right, like he told Lucifer he would. That Lucifer would never get him to say yes because he could change, he would change, but a small voice inside him told him he couldn't do it without his brother to keep him strong.
~*~
Dean hadn't heard from Sam in weeks, and despite the absence his first instinct was to find out what was wong with his little brother and fix whatever was hurting him. He had to fight that impulse down, and force himself to be calm and in control. It was something he had picked up from Cas... How to shut off his instincts and emotions when he didn't want others to see them and exploit them.
"Ah... nothing," Dean said quickly. "Just expected a call from him." He was sort of glad it had been Sam on the end of the line rather than Cas. Had he snapped at the angel like he had at Sam when he picked up, he would have hurt him badly. He would have called Sammy a bitch for his remark, but he was putting into practice what he had learned now, so he let if fly.
"It had better be god-damn important, Sammy," Dean said, leaning back on the pillows with the phone still pressed to his ear. "Because if you woke me up for no good reason, I'll have to put you on my hunting list, you hear?" He glowered at the alarm clock's readout once more, and said, "Come on. Spill."
The note of fear in Sam's voice was what made him agree to listen. Sam rarely ever sounded this scared, even when Dean was about to face down Lilith and her hellhounds nearly two years ago. He wished desperately for a coffee, but he knew that wasn't going to happen, so he sat up in the bed and pinched the back of his hand to make sure he stayed awake.
~*~
Sam chanced a nervous chuckle, even if it was a sad sounding one. "Yeah Dean, it's important I swear" he said with a clear undercurrent of ironic understatement in his tone. Yeah it's important if you think me being Lucifer's fucking bitch boy will be a problem... he thought bitterly. He didn't say that though, it was hardly Dean's fault Lucifer wanted to use him as a meat suit.
"It's Lucifer... he... er... Dean, he told me I'm his true vessel... he said I would say yes, let him in, he sounded so sure of himself Dean, but he can't know that can he? Because Dean I know I will never say yes..."
He stopped and he could feel his hands shaking a little until he bit down on his lip and told himself to stop being a fucking baby and suck it up.
"Dean, I'm... I just thought you should know is all..." he had been going to say he was scared, that he needed Dean to tell him it was going to be ok, that he'd protect him like he'd done since they were kids but he couldn't, he couldn't say a damn word of it. So he just sat silent and waited for what was coming. He didn't know what he was expecting but he was pretty sure it wasn't going to be butterflies and teddy bears and shit to make him feel better. That just wasn't Dean's style.
~*~
Dean went quiet for a moment. Lucifer's true vessel? That meant that he and Sam were destined to duke it out while being angel and fallen angel condoms respectively, and in all likelihood fuck up the world even more than they already had. Fucking Hell... this whole Armageddon shit just got better and better with every day, didn't it!
He stopped pinching himself, realising that he was as wide awake right now as he could have possibly been. "How did he find you?" Dean demanded.
He waited for Sam's reply, and nodded grimly. Exactly how the succubus had found him - in the dreamworld, rather than in reality. Fucking demons. He was half tempted to let Michael take control of his body just so he could fuck up as many of those dream-hijacking sons of bitches as he could.
"So, you're his vessel, huh? Lucifer's wearing you to the prom?" Dean asked, his voice calm once more. "Just when you thought you were out, they pull you back in, huh, Sammy?" He was astounded at the coolness in his own voice. He should have been freaking out, but he was so confident that he wouldn't say yes to Michael, and that Sammy wouldn't give the go-ahead to Lucifer, that the freakout that should have happened to him didn't, and instead went on to bother an alleycat outside the motel that had been peacefully hunting for mice.
Ignorant of this, Dean sighed and said, "Well, I know now. Can I go back to sleep, or are you looking for yet another deep and meaningful about it?"
~*~
Sam sat in silence for a moment at his brothers reply, his eyes a little wider and something akin to anger boiling up from somewhere deep inside him. What the fuck, Dean didn't even seem like he gave a fuck, suddenly Sam felt like an idiot for thinking Dean would even want to know. He was tempted to simply hang up, but he still wanted to ask Dean if he could come back, get back in on the hunting.
"So, that's it? That's your response?" he asked, voice cold with shock and hurt. He listened to Dean ask him what he was expecting and he spat out a little sarcastically, as though he thought it was ridiculous he had to spell it out for his brother.
"I don't know. A-a little panic, maybe?"
Once again he listened to his brothers reply and sighed. "What are we gonna do about it?" he asked barely knowing why he was still bothering with the conversation. Dean clearly didn't give a rats ass so he should just hang up and go his own way. To hell with Dean, he thought he had needed him, but after this he guessed he was wrong. He'd do it on his own, hell it was what he'd wanted when he went off to college, to get away from his family, so he should be happy right? .... so why then did he feel like complete shit?
"I want back in, Dean" he added softly, determined to get it out there, let his brother make of it what he would.
~*~
Dean was a little annoyed now. Had Sam expected him to gasp out OH NOOO! like an overly-dramatic fangirl and come running to the rescue? He may have done that in the past, but not any more. He and Sam were long past that whole brotherly rescue thing they had been such big fans of. Things change when your brother chooses a demon over you.
"What are you looking for?" Dean snapped. "A little panic? Well, I guess I'm a little numb to the earth-shattering revelations at this point. Seems like there's a new one every day, and they kinda lost their shock value around the point that your eyes turned black."
He knew he had gone too far then, and while he wanted to backtrack and apologise, he realised that this was the only chance he would have to make Sam realise he was serious. They had parted ways, just like they had done when Sam went to college all those years ago. It was always Sam's decisions that forced his hand, not the other way round, and Dean was frigging tired of it.
"What do you want to do about it?" Dean countered. He sat in stunned silence, and then said nastily, "So, what, you're just gonna walk back in and we're gonna be the dynamic duo again?" He shook his head, and then remembered Sam couldn't see that gesture through the phone. "Sam..." he began, but was cut off by Sam's next words.
~*~
"Nice Dean" he spat anger boiling to the surface now... "Real fuckin' classy, way to make me feel worse than I already was."
He gripped the steering wheel tight and blinked at the sting attacking his eyes. He was not going to cry, not over this... no. fucking. way.
"Look, Dean, i can do this. I can. I'm gonna prove it to you." he almost growled. His anger still chasing him through the phone. "And you know what, I think we should do it apart, seeing as that's what you want so badly. I'll show you I'm not a monster Dean, that I can change, even if you don't care enough to pay attention." He huffed out over the phone before sitting in silence once more.
He hadn't meant a word of what he'd just said, not really, it was anger and bitterness talking. He didn't want to be apart from his brother, he didn't want to have to do it alone, and he really wasn't sure he could prove it to Dean without Dean there to help keep him strong. Dean had always been like his guiding star... that was until you chose a demon over him you asshat, his own brain yelled at him. And he shoved it back telling it to shut up, rather than facing the fact that all of this, every goddamn part of it, was his fault not Deans.
~*~
Dean heard the harsh edge of anger to Sam's voice, but that wasn't what bothered him. He had also heard the cutting and unmistakeable sound of hurt!Sam underneath the anger. He sighed. Well... it was now or never.
"Look, Sam -- It doesn't matter," Dean said, his voice more gentle than it had been but with a hint of weariness to it. "Whatever we do. I mean, it turns out that you and me, we're the fire and the oil of Armageddon. And on that basis alone, we should just pick a hemisphere and stay away from each other for good."
Saying this to Sam... suggesting a permanent separation from the only blood family he had left killed Dean more than he cared to admit. "Yeah, you're right," Dean began slowly. "I'm sure you can change. But not with me. We're not stronger when we're together, Sam. I think we're weaker. Because whatever we have between us - love, family, whatever it is... They are always gonna use it against us. And you know that. We're better off apart! We've got a better chance of dodging Lucifer and Michael and this whole damn thing, if we just go our own ways."
He added with a hint of bitterness to his voice, "Oh, I care, Sammy. It's why we're better off doing this."
He said a quiet, "Bye, Sam." before hanging up and turning his cell off. No more phone calls for him tonight. He should have shut it off earlier.
He rolled over onto his belly and buried his head under the pillow, longing to return to the sleep he had been enjoying before Sam rang with - oh, goody! - more good news. He grumbled to himself to stave off the feelings of guilt and eventually fell asleep, not knowing just what he would be waking up to all too soon...
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