The Letter - J2 [part 1/?]
Title: The Letter - J2 [part 1/?]
Author: kimisgirl
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Rating: PG - NC17
Warnings: Some what AU (the boys knew each other and went to college together, oh and Jensen is gay, but in the closet. They still work on Supernatural now though)
Summary: Jared finds a letter written by Jensen and it turns his whole world upside down. Will he man up and work out how he feels about Jensen now he knows the truth or will their friendships crash and burn?
AN: Just a little plot bunny that wouldn't leave me alone till I wrote it down. This is a work in progress and a chapter will be put up every second day!
The graphics: The letter was written and made by me, the story artwork was put together by me, the image used was made by b_split and she very wonderfully granted me permission to use it :D so thank you very much love! Hope you like the story when it's done.
~*~
Jared was frozen in his spot on the couch. He hadn’t moved since he’d read it... He didn’t know if he’d ever remember how to move his body again. Not after the shock he’d gotten earlier, all he had meant to do was to go through some of the stuff piled up in the attic. Most of it was from his and Jensen’s college days. And he had decided that this weekend he’d be productive and clean it all out.
He’d told Jensen of his plans before the man had left this morning, Chris was up and the two had headed out for the day. So that had left Jay with plenty of time to have a crack at the boxes.
It had all been going fine, just peachy thanks. He’d gotten about a quarter of the way through their joint stuff by mid afternoon. He was pretty sure he could have it all done by the end of the weekend. Or could have rather... before, before he’d found and read ‘The’ letter.
The one that was now clutched tightly in his hand as he stared out in front of him, wondering how the hell he was going to handle this, if he should say something or just act like he never saw it, didn’t know how Jensen really felt about him... had, had felt, he reminded himself. Ten years is a long time, no guarantee Jen still felt like he had then? And what if he didn’t, what if Jared called him out on it and it turned out Jensen was over it.
More importantly... did he really want Jen to be over it, over him?
He scrunched up his eyes and rubbed a tired hand over his face. He had no idea how to feel, or what to think. He still couldn’t really even believe it, his brain keep telling him it was wrong, it couldn’t be true. But he knew Jensen almost better than he knew himself, and the letter was definately in Jensen's handwriting. They had been best friends since freshman year at college, over ten years ago. And they had been closer than most brothers ever since. They had moved to Hollywood together, had started acting together, and now they were working on Supernatural and sharing a house. Could Jared risk everything just because he wanted to know if Jensen really did feel this way about him?
“Hell no” was his only answer and he whispered it out into the darkening house. He heard his dogs scratching at the back door but he couldn’t even bring himself to stand up and let them in.
“Christ” he muttered to himself as he stared at the old box of Jensen’s containing a bunch of old College stuff. It was in amongst it that he’d found the Letter. The one Jensen had written for him ten years ago and had never actually given to him. Jared wasn’t sure if he was angry or just sad that Jen had never given it to him, never told him. And then his brain was asking him why he would be either, why it should matter so much. Why he so badly wished Jen had told him back then... would it have changed the past ten years?
Course it would have idiot. There was nothing holding you back then, not like there is now... you could have let yourself love him too...
Jared scowled at his brain and pushed the thought away. He was straight, he didn’t love men, not like that anyway, not even Jensen. Sure Jen meant more to him than anyone... and there was the fact he’d not been able to marry Sandy... but that had had nothing to do with Jensen he told himself firmly. He had just fallen out of love with her... happens all the time to everyone.
~*~
“Jay?”
Jared jumped about ten feet in the air at the sudden intrusion on his thoughts and the even more unexpected appearance of Jensen in the living room door. The older man was smiling at him and shrugging out of his coat. Jared felt his breath catch and he tensed, quickly stuffing the letter in his pocket and pasting a smile on his face. Hoping the other man didn’t see just how forced it was. Jared was freaking out inside and he really, really, didn’t want Jen to see it. Lucky he was a trained actor, he thought, though truth be told, Jen knew him well enough to see when he was acting no matter how good he was at it. Jared’s stomach fluttered at this thought as he stared at Jensen for a moment.
“Hey man” he finally replied a little too late. He saw Jensen’s brow dip and a frown cross his lips.
“You alright dude, you seem a little off. Bad day?”
“What? No man, just tired I guess sorry, big day, cleaning all your shit outta the damn attic” he teased with a smirk and sighed inwardly with relief when he heard Jensen chuckle softly and give him the finger.
“Whatever man, was your dump ass idea to do it.. you live with the consequences boy.” He taunted, a hint of his natural accent coming through.
“Ass” Jared came back at him with and scowled playfully.
“Ouch Jay, it hurts me how much effort and thought you put into your insults. Really, makes me think you just don’t care” Jensen teased and then snorted with laughter, winking at Jared before heading to the kitchen.
“You want a beer?” Jen called to him from the other room and Jay groaned. What was he gonna do. He was sure he should just man up and tell Jensen he had seen the letter. But if he did that... was he really ready for the answers he might get from the other man? No... he thought, first he needed to decide just what he felt for Jensen. If he... oh god, if he felt the same way. If he wanted more than friendship, if he was... in love with a man....
He started to panic a little at that thought, until a little voice in his head poked its head up and pointed out that it wasn’t just any man, it was Jensen.
“Um.. Wha... Yeah, sorry, yeah beer yeah thanks Jen” he called over his shoulder finally when he noticed Jensen was standing in the door from the kitchen staring at the back of his head where Jared sat on the couch. His head was tilted to the side and he had a worried, confused look on his face.
“Righto” Jensen replied and came out of the kitchen with two beers. He flopped down on the couch beside Jared and handed his beer over.
“Spill” Jensen ordered firmly, causing Jared to almost choke on a mouthful of beer.
“What?” Jared asked as he stared obstinately at the TV. He was not ready for this conversation and come what may, Jensen was not going to get anything out of him tonight. He just wasn’t.
“So, how was your day with Chris?” he asked with a determination not even Chad could have missed. It clearly told Jensen that any topics about Jared were off limits right now.
He saw Jensen looking at him, studying his face and then the older man shrugged and nodded.
“Fine, you don’t wanna talk, don’t talk.” He muttered
“Day was fine, just went and played golf. Chris fuckin’ sucked and I kicked his ass, so... good day” Jen answered with a grin. A playful light in his green eyes.
Man did Jared ever love Jen’s eyes... Did he just think that? Oh crap.. he did, and if he was honest with himself, it was not the first time he’d thought that about Jensen’s eyes either.
Jared laughed, a little more nervously than he’d like and shifted in his seat a little. Hoping Jensen didn’t notice.
He downed his beer when a weird silence came over him and Jen in a way he wasn’t sure it ever had.
He jumped off the couch suddenly, a little surprised he remembered how to do that now, and practically run to the door of the back yard and called the dogs in.
“Goin’ for a run” he called to Jensen as he attached Harley and Sadie’s leads to their collars and jammed his feet into his trainers and was out the door before Jensen had a chance to reply.
Part 2 this way
Comments are love
Steeler la tickets
Author: kimisgirl
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Rating: PG - NC17
Warnings: Some what AU (the boys knew each other and went to college together, oh and Jensen is gay, but in the closet. They still work on Supernatural now though)
Summary: Jared finds a letter written by Jensen and it turns his whole world upside down. Will he man up and work out how he feels about Jensen now he knows the truth or will their friendships crash and burn?
AN: Just a little plot bunny that wouldn't leave me alone till I wrote it down. This is a work in progress and a chapter will be put up every second day!
The graphics: The letter was written and made by me, the story artwork was put together by me, the image used was made by b_split and she very wonderfully granted me permission to use it :D so thank you very much love! Hope you like the story when it's done.
~*~
Jared was frozen in his spot on the couch. He hadn’t moved since he’d read it... He didn’t know if he’d ever remember how to move his body again. Not after the shock he’d gotten earlier, all he had meant to do was to go through some of the stuff piled up in the attic. Most of it was from his and Jensen’s college days. And he had decided that this weekend he’d be productive and clean it all out.
He’d told Jensen of his plans before the man had left this morning, Chris was up and the two had headed out for the day. So that had left Jay with plenty of time to have a crack at the boxes.
It had all been going fine, just peachy thanks. He’d gotten about a quarter of the way through their joint stuff by mid afternoon. He was pretty sure he could have it all done by the end of the weekend. Or could have rather... before, before he’d found and read ‘The’ letter.
The one that was now clutched tightly in his hand as he stared out in front of him, wondering how the hell he was going to handle this, if he should say something or just act like he never saw it, didn’t know how Jensen really felt about him... had, had felt, he reminded himself. Ten years is a long time, no guarantee Jen still felt like he had then? And what if he didn’t, what if Jared called him out on it and it turned out Jensen was over it.
More importantly... did he really want Jen to be over it, over him?
He scrunched up his eyes and rubbed a tired hand over his face. He had no idea how to feel, or what to think. He still couldn’t really even believe it, his brain keep telling him it was wrong, it couldn’t be true. But he knew Jensen almost better than he knew himself, and the letter was definately in Jensen's handwriting. They had been best friends since freshman year at college, over ten years ago. And they had been closer than most brothers ever since. They had moved to Hollywood together, had started acting together, and now they were working on Supernatural and sharing a house. Could Jared risk everything just because he wanted to know if Jensen really did feel this way about him?
“Hell no” was his only answer and he whispered it out into the darkening house. He heard his dogs scratching at the back door but he couldn’t even bring himself to stand up and let them in.
“Christ” he muttered to himself as he stared at the old box of Jensen’s containing a bunch of old College stuff. It was in amongst it that he’d found the Letter. The one Jensen had written for him ten years ago and had never actually given to him. Jared wasn’t sure if he was angry or just sad that Jen had never given it to him, never told him. And then his brain was asking him why he would be either, why it should matter so much. Why he so badly wished Jen had told him back then... would it have changed the past ten years?
Course it would have idiot. There was nothing holding you back then, not like there is now... you could have let yourself love him too...
Jared scowled at his brain and pushed the thought away. He was straight, he didn’t love men, not like that anyway, not even Jensen. Sure Jen meant more to him than anyone... and there was the fact he’d not been able to marry Sandy... but that had had nothing to do with Jensen he told himself firmly. He had just fallen out of love with her... happens all the time to everyone.
~*~
“Jay?”
Jared jumped about ten feet in the air at the sudden intrusion on his thoughts and the even more unexpected appearance of Jensen in the living room door. The older man was smiling at him and shrugging out of his coat. Jared felt his breath catch and he tensed, quickly stuffing the letter in his pocket and pasting a smile on his face. Hoping the other man didn’t see just how forced it was. Jared was freaking out inside and he really, really, didn’t want Jen to see it. Lucky he was a trained actor, he thought, though truth be told, Jen knew him well enough to see when he was acting no matter how good he was at it. Jared’s stomach fluttered at this thought as he stared at Jensen for a moment.
“Hey man” he finally replied a little too late. He saw Jensen’s brow dip and a frown cross his lips.
“You alright dude, you seem a little off. Bad day?”
“What? No man, just tired I guess sorry, big day, cleaning all your shit outta the damn attic” he teased with a smirk and sighed inwardly with relief when he heard Jensen chuckle softly and give him the finger.
“Whatever man, was your dump ass idea to do it.. you live with the consequences boy.” He taunted, a hint of his natural accent coming through.
“Ass” Jared came back at him with and scowled playfully.
“Ouch Jay, it hurts me how much effort and thought you put into your insults. Really, makes me think you just don’t care” Jensen teased and then snorted with laughter, winking at Jared before heading to the kitchen.
“You want a beer?” Jen called to him from the other room and Jay groaned. What was he gonna do. He was sure he should just man up and tell Jensen he had seen the letter. But if he did that... was he really ready for the answers he might get from the other man? No... he thought, first he needed to decide just what he felt for Jensen. If he... oh god, if he felt the same way. If he wanted more than friendship, if he was... in love with a man....
He started to panic a little at that thought, until a little voice in his head poked its head up and pointed out that it wasn’t just any man, it was Jensen.
“Um.. Wha... Yeah, sorry, yeah beer yeah thanks Jen” he called over his shoulder finally when he noticed Jensen was standing in the door from the kitchen staring at the back of his head where Jared sat on the couch. His head was tilted to the side and he had a worried, confused look on his face.
“Righto” Jensen replied and came out of the kitchen with two beers. He flopped down on the couch beside Jared and handed his beer over.
“Spill” Jensen ordered firmly, causing Jared to almost choke on a mouthful of beer.
“What?” Jared asked as he stared obstinately at the TV. He was not ready for this conversation and come what may, Jensen was not going to get anything out of him tonight. He just wasn’t.
“So, how was your day with Chris?” he asked with a determination not even Chad could have missed. It clearly told Jensen that any topics about Jared were off limits right now.
He saw Jensen looking at him, studying his face and then the older man shrugged and nodded.
“Fine, you don’t wanna talk, don’t talk.” He muttered
“Day was fine, just went and played golf. Chris fuckin’ sucked and I kicked his ass, so... good day” Jen answered with a grin. A playful light in his green eyes.
Man did Jared ever love Jen’s eyes... Did he just think that? Oh crap.. he did, and if he was honest with himself, it was not the first time he’d thought that about Jensen’s eyes either.
Jared laughed, a little more nervously than he’d like and shifted in his seat a little. Hoping Jensen didn’t notice.
He downed his beer when a weird silence came over him and Jen in a way he wasn’t sure it ever had.
He jumped off the couch suddenly, a little surprised he remembered how to do that now, and practically run to the door of the back yard and called the dogs in.
“Goin’ for a run” he called to Jensen as he attached Harley and Sadie’s leads to their collars and jammed his feet into his trainers and was out the door before Jensen had a chance to reply.
Part 2 this way
Comments are love
Steeler la tickets