TMI post
I shall begin by telling the moral of the story first: For the love of all that is good and rational, don't eat a ton of potato wedges and Coca-cola in one go!
A short while ago, I was chilling out with some friends at one of their homes. We had bought a bucket of KFC, potato wedges, mash potatoes, chicken nuggets and big bottles of Coke to wash all that down. Me being the potato wedges freak that I am, ate three portions, about eighteen pieces, and then drank at least half a bottle in one shot after that.
I've eaten potato wedges and Coke together numerous times, so there I was thinking, "Bah, what could go wrong?"
Yep.
By the time I was half way on the drive home, I felt like a car tire pumped so full of air that I was thiiiiiis close to exploding. It's one of the worst physical feelings I've gone through in a long time. I honestly thought I had suddenly developed appendicitis or something and that my appendix was going to go kaboom inside me. The pain seemed to fill my entire abdomen, from below my chest right down to my groin.
When I reached home, I could only hobble. Going up the winding staircase to my bedroom was an ... interesting experience. Let's just say I would have passed the test to become a member of Monty Python's Ministry of Silly Walks with flying colors.
And just as I got to my bedroom door, I had to go pee.
One part of my brain said, "Holy crap, you're gonna explode and you wanna sit down?!"
Another part of my brain said, "She's gonna BLOOOOOOOW!"
So I went to the toilet.
I was actually kinda scared when I hobbled inside the toilet. At this point, the pain was so bad, I could only take shallow breaths, much less bend down to sit on the toilet bowl.
But after a while (and a lot of wriggling), I did.
And ... I felt a little better.
And then, about ten seconds later, I let out the biggest, loudest fart I ever had. I didn't realize how loud it was until I heard, "MEEEEOOWWWWWWWRRRHHH!" and a crashing sound like something heavy landing hard on metal from outside. I'd scared my neighbor's cat! Hahah!
I instantly felt so much better after that. Never did I imagine mere gas could make someone feel so awful. It was right up there with nasty period cramps. And before you ask, I've yet to eat a whole load of potato wedges and Coca-cola together since. My tummy seems to scream in horror whenever I even think about it.
(P.S. That's right, boys, we girls do fart!)
Oh, and about my neighbors's cat, here's an additional anecdote (though not TMI like the above): My neighbors own a big, beautiful white cat. Think short and sleek fur, long tail, small ears, and large, round eyes. And big. Really big. My neighbors feed it well! (I think it also likes to eat the rats I've occasionally seen running around outside my neighbors' house.)
It likes to nap on the hood of my car at night, particularly when I've gone out and the hood is still warm later. I only knew this thanks to the paw prints on the car's roof and hood I see in the morning. Otherwise, I don't think I would have ever known. I rarely see the cat.
So, a few weeks ago, at around 3AM, I headed to the kitchen to have a drink of water before going to bed. To get to my kitchen, I have to pass a row of windows looking out into the space where the car is parked, and well, as it was 3AM, it was naturally quite dark. And it didn't help that I'd been staying up reading horror stories involving ghosts and monsters peeking in through windows and all that.
Everything was a-okay until after I'd had my sip of water and I was shuffling back to my room and passing those windows. All of a sudden, from the corner of my eye, I saw something huge and glaringly white through a window! It had no head or limbs and it was just ... there! On my car! This GIANT WHITE THING WITH NO HEAD OR LIMBS ON MY CAR.
Right then and there, I was so freaked out that I jumped and yelled at the top of my voice, "EEEAAAAAAAAAARRGHHH!"
And then I calmed down and stared at the damn thing and realized it was just the neighbor's cat with its back towards me, its head bent down to lick one of its paws. I think I was so annoyed at myself for being scared by a mere cat that I laughed and then shouted, "Stupid cat!"
The cat actually heard me, because it turned its head around to glance haughtily at me. *lol* A swish of its tail, and it went straight back to licking its paws and not giving a hoopla about the human it just gave a fright.
Well, guess what, cat, we're even now! HaHAH! *shakes fist*
In other news, here's the cutest thing I've seen today: Koda the Mini Horse. You can see a video of Koda and his vet here. :D
A short while ago, I was chilling out with some friends at one of their homes. We had bought a bucket of KFC, potato wedges, mash potatoes, chicken nuggets and big bottles of Coke to wash all that down. Me being the potato wedges freak that I am, ate three portions, about eighteen pieces, and then drank at least half a bottle in one shot after that.
I've eaten potato wedges and Coke together numerous times, so there I was thinking, "Bah, what could go wrong?"
Yep.
By the time I was half way on the drive home, I felt like a car tire pumped so full of air that I was thiiiiiis close to exploding. It's one of the worst physical feelings I've gone through in a long time. I honestly thought I had suddenly developed appendicitis or something and that my appendix was going to go kaboom inside me. The pain seemed to fill my entire abdomen, from below my chest right down to my groin.
When I reached home, I could only hobble. Going up the winding staircase to my bedroom was an ... interesting experience. Let's just say I would have passed the test to become a member of Monty Python's Ministry of Silly Walks with flying colors.
And just as I got to my bedroom door, I had to go pee.
One part of my brain said, "Holy crap, you're gonna explode and you wanna sit down?!"
Another part of my brain said, "She's gonna BLOOOOOOOW!"
So I went to the toilet.
I was actually kinda scared when I hobbled inside the toilet. At this point, the pain was so bad, I could only take shallow breaths, much less bend down to sit on the toilet bowl.
But after a while (and a lot of wriggling), I did.
And ... I felt a little better.
And then, about ten seconds later, I let out the biggest, loudest fart I ever had. I didn't realize how loud it was until I heard, "MEEEEOOWWWWWWWRRRHHH!" and a crashing sound like something heavy landing hard on metal from outside. I'd scared my neighbor's cat! Hahah!
I instantly felt so much better after that. Never did I imagine mere gas could make someone feel so awful. It was right up there with nasty period cramps. And before you ask, I've yet to eat a whole load of potato wedges and Coca-cola together since. My tummy seems to scream in horror whenever I even think about it.
(P.S. That's right, boys, we girls do fart!)
Oh, and about my neighbors's cat, here's an additional anecdote (though not TMI like the above): My neighbors own a big, beautiful white cat. Think short and sleek fur, long tail, small ears, and large, round eyes. And big. Really big. My neighbors feed it well! (I think it also likes to eat the rats I've occasionally seen running around outside my neighbors' house.)
It likes to nap on the hood of my car at night, particularly when I've gone out and the hood is still warm later. I only knew this thanks to the paw prints on the car's roof and hood I see in the morning. Otherwise, I don't think I would have ever known. I rarely see the cat.
So, a few weeks ago, at around 3AM, I headed to the kitchen to have a drink of water before going to bed. To get to my kitchen, I have to pass a row of windows looking out into the space where the car is parked, and well, as it was 3AM, it was naturally quite dark. And it didn't help that I'd been staying up reading horror stories involving ghosts and monsters peeking in through windows and all that.
Everything was a-okay until after I'd had my sip of water and I was shuffling back to my room and passing those windows. All of a sudden, from the corner of my eye, I saw something huge and glaringly white through a window! It had no head or limbs and it was just ... there! On my car! This GIANT WHITE THING WITH NO HEAD OR LIMBS ON MY CAR.
Right then and there, I was so freaked out that I jumped and yelled at the top of my voice, "EEEAAAAAAAAAARRGHHH!"
And then I calmed down and stared at the damn thing and realized it was just the neighbor's cat with its back towards me, its head bent down to lick one of its paws. I think I was so annoyed at myself for being scared by a mere cat that I laughed and then shouted, "Stupid cat!"
The cat actually heard me, because it turned its head around to glance haughtily at me. *lol* A swish of its tail, and it went straight back to licking its paws and not giving a hoopla about the human it just gave a fright.
Well, guess what, cat, we're even now! HaHAH! *shakes fist*
In other news, here's the cutest thing I've seen today: Koda the Mini Horse. You can see a video of Koda and his vet here. :D