Ask Heechul - Sixth Edition
Title: Ask Heechul - Sixth Edition
Pairing: None
Rating: G
Length: 1324 words
Summary: The sixth edition of Heechul's advice column, which is quickly turning into more of a Q&A
My beloved petals! So sorry I've been away for so long. Things happen, people come and go, we fall down, and then we pick ourselves back up again. I want to thank you all for waiting so patiently for me though, I appreciate all the love you give us each and every day.
Anyways... I lost a game to Kyuhyun, so he will be writing next week. As usual I will look over his answers... I hope he manages to behave himself. All questions to him can be submitted here, as well as any other questions you may have for me.
Letter One:
Heechul,
So me and this guy are pretty much PDA-ing all the time, but he hasn't asked me out yet. I like-- no, I LOVE him but he hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend for almost... I don't know, a month? And it hurts... I want to wait but it hurts. Should I?
Sincerely,
breaking heart
Dear Breaking,
Have you ever heard the saying "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free"? Now mind you I'm not calling you a cow, but if you're giving him exactly what he wants without some sort've attachment, then you're giving him no reason to form an attachment to you in the first place. If you want to wait, that's just fine, but be prepared to stick to your guns about it. He won't be happy.
Heenim.
Letter Two:
Dear Mr. Kim
Hi, my is Nic and I have a problem. I'm hanging out with this guy and he's great and all but his job keeps him in China ALOT and I'm sooo worried he'd find a girlfriend there and leave me. He can act like such a player sometimes--since he plays the violin, is a good dancer and working out with a horse, sigh, I don't know what to do. Am I worrying too much? My friends Woo and Jun think I am, but I don't know. T_T
HopelessThai
Dear Hopeless:
What the - When did this happen!? And why wasn't I notified sooner? Seriously... how am I supposed to write an advice column if no one tells me anything?! I'll put in a good word for you if you give me Chansung's phone number.
-Closet ChansUNF fan. :-D
Letter Three:
Heechul-hyung
did Hae really cry? help me in his pants and I'll give you anything you want
KiKi
Kiki:
Good lord would you just confess and get it over with? You two are driving me crazy. If I hear one more love-longing peep out of either of you I'm going to lock you in the closet and be done with it.
Heechul.
Letter Four:
HEENIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Don't Don is on ^^First Super Show^^)
Anyways, I really want to go to Korea and become a singer, even though I'm from Canada and am not Asian. At all. My family doesn't take me seriously about it either. But I REALLY want to do it. How should I go about doing this in the least painful way?
-Sunny (And the dance is tomorrow. Being a bitch might hurt him, but it would be fun. You're a bad influence! I love it^^)
Dear Sunny:
There is no least painful way. But if it's what you really wish to do then you must go for it. You will have to pay in blood sweat and tears, just as we all have, but stay true to your dream and with hard work you will most definitely achieve success in time. It's not something that will happen over night, but those who are truly dedicated are the ones that will reap the greatest rewards.
Heenim.
Letter Five:
Dear Heechul,
I have this hyung. He is really hot and handsome and I really, really like him. I really do like him but the problem is he's Christian-What do I do? I don't want his parents to get mad at me or something....And yeah, it's also like he likes Ha-my other hyung. I seriously can't take it anymore when they're all lovey-dovey. What makes me even more sad is he's supposed to be Christian. What do I do?
Sincerely yours,
WangLeehomfan
Dear Next Time Pick a Better Name Henry:
If you don't want his parents mad at you then don't tell them a thing. And you might want to consider gagging him as well because once he gets to talking he doesn't shut up. I say suck it up, buy some handcuffs, and go for it.
Also just an FYI but you might want to consider learning to speak Thai. Just a suggestion.
Cinderella.
Letter Six:
Hyung,
Is it wrong to ignore your boyfriend while playing StarCraft? I mean...he's always bugging me about something or another, wanting to cuddle, kiss, 'play apples to apples with him', etc...but I can't multitask like that when I have noobs to pwn. Mi mi,...uhm...I mean, my boyfriend gets so upset that he locks himself in the closet(of the room that we share) and won't come out for hours...he's actually in there as I speak. So, WTF DO I DO HEECHUL HYUNG?!?! Whenever he gets like this he won't even let me fu-cuddle with him.
#1Starcraftmagnae
P.S. Don't even try telling me to let him play too, (I've already tried that and he died through the first 40 seconds of the game)
Dear I know who you are but I'm not going to say because you know where I sleep:
I was tempted to leave this question until next week... but I thought I'd be nice. I'm really surprised you've survived as long as you have... it's only a matter of time before he comes out swinging with the broom to beat you with it and pwn your ass (yes, pun intended). I'd really suggest scheduling plenty of time into your day for him, perhaps an hour of 'mi' time for every hour of StarCraft time. It really won't be that bad, because I'm sure when he's happy you'll get plenty of... snuggles.
Behave next week.
Heechul.
Letter Seven:
Dear Heechul,
Monday morning I have a presentation in class- which is fine. But last time I did a presentation there was guy in my class who is an absolute creep! The whole time he stared at me as if I was naked and his eyes were raping me- it got to a point where I messed up and forgot where I was presenting... I felt more nervous and awkward and wanted to hide. Say he does this Monday? How should I handle it?
In trouble with creeper raper
ps I'm a coward.
Dear In Trouble:
Eye-rapings suck, they really do. A short-term solution is a simple pair of thick sunglasses. Not only will you look super cool, you won't be able to see the eye-raping. You probably won't be able to see your notes either, but you gotta do what you gotta do. I'd also suggest learning how to give the stink-eye, so when it's his turn to give his report (without protective eyewear, because he's probably not that smart) you can make him feel equally uncomfortable.
Heenim.
Letter Eight:
Heechul, Why is it that when i shop at bookstores, they will always stock EVERY volume of an intriguing-looking series but the first? Do they LIKE the fact that I am then forced to walk away empty-handed?
Anonymous
Dear Anonymous:
Why is it everyone tries to come up with these witty names that make it pretty obvious who they are, yet the person who asks about books is actually smart enough to use ‘anonymous’? Anyways, I think that’s how they get you to come back to their store... if they had exactly what you needed the first time around, you’d have no need to go back. That’s why I prefer internet shopping.
Heechul.
Letter Nine:
Dear Heechul:
How many men have you slept with -really-?
Anon.
Dear Anon:
Define sleep.
Heenim.
Pairing: None
Rating: G
Length: 1324 words
Summary: The sixth edition of Heechul's advice column, which is quickly turning into more of a Q&A
My beloved petals! So sorry I've been away for so long. Things happen, people come and go, we fall down, and then we pick ourselves back up again. I want to thank you all for waiting so patiently for me though, I appreciate all the love you give us each and every day.
Anyways... I lost a game to Kyuhyun, so he will be writing next week. As usual I will look over his answers... I hope he manages to behave himself. All questions to him can be submitted here, as well as any other questions you may have for me.
Letter One:
Heechul,
So me and this guy are pretty much PDA-ing all the time, but he hasn't asked me out yet. I like-- no, I LOVE him but he hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend for almost... I don't know, a month? And it hurts... I want to wait but it hurts. Should I?
Sincerely,
breaking heart
Dear Breaking,
Have you ever heard the saying "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free"? Now mind you I'm not calling you a cow, but if you're giving him exactly what he wants without some sort've attachment, then you're giving him no reason to form an attachment to you in the first place. If you want to wait, that's just fine, but be prepared to stick to your guns about it. He won't be happy.
Heenim.
Letter Two:
Dear Mr. Kim
Hi, my is Nic and I have a problem. I'm hanging out with this guy and he's great and all but his job keeps him in China ALOT and I'm sooo worried he'd find a girlfriend there and leave me. He can act like such a player sometimes--since he plays the violin, is a good dancer and working out with a horse, sigh, I don't know what to do. Am I worrying too much? My friends Woo and Jun think I am, but I don't know. T_T
HopelessThai
Dear Hopeless:
What the - When did this happen!? And why wasn't I notified sooner? Seriously... how am I supposed to write an advice column if no one tells me anything?! I'll put in a good word for you if you give me Chansung's phone number.
-Closet ChansUNF fan. :-D
Letter Three:
Heechul-hyung
did Hae really cry? help me in his pants and I'll give you anything you want
KiKi
Kiki:
Good lord would you just confess and get it over with? You two are driving me crazy. If I hear one more love-longing peep out of either of you I'm going to lock you in the closet and be done with it.
Heechul.
Letter Four:
HEENIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Don't Don is on ^^First Super Show^^)
Anyways, I really want to go to Korea and become a singer, even though I'm from Canada and am not Asian. At all. My family doesn't take me seriously about it either. But I REALLY want to do it. How should I go about doing this in the least painful way?
-Sunny (And the dance is tomorrow. Being a bitch might hurt him, but it would be fun. You're a bad influence! I love it^^)
Dear Sunny:
There is no least painful way. But if it's what you really wish to do then you must go for it. You will have to pay in blood sweat and tears, just as we all have, but stay true to your dream and with hard work you will most definitely achieve success in time. It's not something that will happen over night, but those who are truly dedicated are the ones that will reap the greatest rewards.
Heenim.
Letter Five:
Dear Heechul,
I have this hyung. He is really hot and handsome and I really, really like him. I really do like him but the problem is he's Christian-What do I do? I don't want his parents to get mad at me or something....And yeah, it's also like he likes Ha-my other hyung. I seriously can't take it anymore when they're all lovey-dovey. What makes me even more sad is he's supposed to be Christian. What do I do?
Sincerely yours,
WangLeehomfan
Dear Next Time Pick a Better Name Henry:
If you don't want his parents mad at you then don't tell them a thing. And you might want to consider gagging him as well because once he gets to talking he doesn't shut up. I say suck it up, buy some handcuffs, and go for it.
Also just an FYI but you might want to consider learning to speak Thai. Just a suggestion.
Cinderella.
Letter Six:
Hyung,
Is it wrong to ignore your boyfriend while playing StarCraft? I mean...he's always bugging me about something or another, wanting to cuddle, kiss, 'play apples to apples with him', etc...but I can't multitask like that when I have noobs to pwn. Mi mi,...uhm...I mean, my boyfriend gets so upset that he locks himself in the closet(of the room that we share) and won't come out for hours...he's actually in there as I speak. So, WTF DO I DO HEECHUL HYUNG?!?! Whenever he gets like this he won't even let me fu-cuddle with him.
#1Starcraftmagnae
P.S. Don't even try telling me to let him play too, (I've already tried that and he died through the first 40 seconds of the game)
Dear I know who you are but I'm not going to say because you know where I sleep:
I was tempted to leave this question until next week... but I thought I'd be nice. I'm really surprised you've survived as long as you have... it's only a matter of time before he comes out swinging with the broom to beat you with it and pwn your ass (yes, pun intended). I'd really suggest scheduling plenty of time into your day for him, perhaps an hour of 'mi' time for every hour of StarCraft time. It really won't be that bad, because I'm sure when he's happy you'll get plenty of... snuggles.
Behave next week.
Heechul.
Letter Seven:
Dear Heechul,
Monday morning I have a presentation in class- which is fine. But last time I did a presentation there was guy in my class who is an absolute creep! The whole time he stared at me as if I was naked and his eyes were raping me- it got to a point where I messed up and forgot where I was presenting... I felt more nervous and awkward and wanted to hide. Say he does this Monday? How should I handle it?
In trouble with creeper raper
ps I'm a coward.
Dear In Trouble:
Eye-rapings suck, they really do. A short-term solution is a simple pair of thick sunglasses. Not only will you look super cool, you won't be able to see the eye-raping. You probably won't be able to see your notes either, but you gotta do what you gotta do. I'd also suggest learning how to give the stink-eye, so when it's his turn to give his report (without protective eyewear, because he's probably not that smart) you can make him feel equally uncomfortable.
Heenim.
Letter Eight:
Heechul, Why is it that when i shop at bookstores, they will always stock EVERY volume of an intriguing-looking series but the first? Do they LIKE the fact that I am then forced to walk away empty-handed?
Anonymous
Dear Anonymous:
Why is it everyone tries to come up with these witty names that make it pretty obvious who they are, yet the person who asks about books is actually smart enough to use ‘anonymous’? Anyways, I think that’s how they get you to come back to their store... if they had exactly what you needed the first time around, you’d have no need to go back. That’s why I prefer internet shopping.
Heechul.
Letter Nine:
Dear Heechul:
How many men have you slept with -really-?
Anon.
Dear Anon:
Define sleep.
Heenim.