Ain't no Sunshine (Kangin/Hangeng one-shot)
Title: Ain't no Sunshine
Pairing: Kangin/Hangeng
Length: 3296 words
Rating: PG - Vague mentions of sex
Summary: Kangin misses Hangeng something aweful.
This pairing was requested by followurdestiny. I enjoyed writing this too. It was inspired by a song I heard on the radio today called "Ain't no Sunshine", originally sung by Bill Withers, though I chose this version by Eva Cassidy over the orginally simply for the use of 'he' instead of 'she'. It's a angsty story most of the way through, but it has a happy ending.
Kangin and Hangeng were Super Junior’s best kept secret. They were a secret so well kept that the other members didn’t even know, and if the truth was known Kangin and Hangeng didn’t even know the boundaries of their relationship.
It was one of those relationships that was and wasn’t at the same time, always teetering on the fine line between falling apart and moving more closely together. Neither of them had intended to get into a relationship with the other, but things had happened, and the two of them were at least wise enough to realize it’d be foolish to go forward and try to pretend nothing ever happened between them.
Hangeng jokingly blamed things on Heechul, saying the older man was a bad influence on his personality. It had started innocently enough, with Kangin asking Hangeng to help him brush up on his Chinese. He’d done reasonably well learning it at one point in time, but when the members for Super Junior M were selected and he wasn’t included, he’d given up on it. He didn’t quit because he was upset or jealous, he simply quit because his schedule was busy enough as it was, and having one more thing to do on top of that just made it worse. Since learning Chinese was no longer absolutely necessary he’d given up, for the time being anyways.
It eventually got to where the other members were fluent enough they could carry on full conversations in the other language, and poor Kangin (and several of the other members) would be absolutely oblivious. It got even worse when the two Chinese members came to stay. Conversations had gone from being in Korean to predominately Chinese, and Kangin felt left out. He’d pulled his Chinese books out from under his bed then and dusted them off, though he’d forgotten so much of it already that trying to pick up where he’d left off was impossible. He’d asked Siwon for help first, but Siwon’s Chinese lessons turned out to be more like lectures, and Kangin had been bored out of his mind. He’d asked Donghae next, and though the lessons were much more interesting, they were both so easily distracted that they were lucky if the lessons ever lasted more than twenty minutes. He asked Hangeng to help him next, and Hangeng had agreed.
Hangeng was a good teacher, and patient too. He explained things when it was needed, but let Kangin figure plenty out on his own as well. Kangin had learned a lot that way, enough that he was venturing away from the text books and going more off of the phrases Hangeng would come up with to teach him. Kangin had always fancied himself quite the comedian, so it was only natural for him to ask Hangeng to teach him something funny. Hangeng had thought for a moment before a grin slid over his lips, carefully writing his chosen phrase in Chinese on a piece of paper before sliding it over to Kangin.
“There you go. That’s a good one.”
Kangin grinned as well, taking the piece of paper with him as he slipped out of Hangeng’s room, working hard over the next few days to memorize the phrase. Hangeng had never expected Kangin to actually use the line, but Heechul had screwed him up enough teaching him Korean, he figured it was only fair that he get to screw with someone else. It wasn’t until an angry Kangin had appeared in his doorway, a rather large handprint on the side of his face, did Hangeng think he might’ve made a mistake.
“…getting me to tell someone they look like an ugly monkey is not funny…”
“You didn’t specify you wanted it to be funny for you. It would’ve been funny for me to get to see you say it…” He bit his lip, doing his best not to snicker. Kangin never did realize how adorable he looked when he was angry, and seeing Hangeng struggling not to laugh at him only pissed him off further. More words were exchanged, and the two of them had wound up coming to blows over it, rolling about in a tangled knot of arms and limbs on the floor like children. Hangeng never meant for them to fight over it, he understood why Kangin might be upset, but at the same time Kangin was always pulling tricks on the other members, it was only fair he got a taste of his own medicine.
Somehow Hangeng had wound up flat on his back on the floor with Kangin atop him, pinning his hands against the floor. It wasn’t until Hangeng lifted his eyes up to gaze at Kangin’s face that he realized just how pretty the other man’s eyes were. He’d never noticed how long his eyelashes were before either, curled just right in order to frame those dark chocolate eyes. He never recalled being this close before, close enough to realize that though Kangin tried his hardest to be all buff and macho and a harass, his lips looked so soft and plush and full.
Kangin’s eyes were staring right into Hangeng’s as his face was examined, and he wasn’t quite sure why he felt as though he was being pulled forward, why he felt like he was being sucked into whatever gravitational pull Hangeng had developed around him. He wasn’t even sure why he felt himself moving forward, closing the distance between them to press his lips to Hangeng’s in a tender kiss. He wasn’t sure why the fight had ended so quickly, and he didn’t quite understand why Hangeng wasn’t pulling away from the kiss, either.
One kiss had turned into two, two turned into five, and hours later Kangin was left naked and sweaty in the darkness of Hangeng’s room, staring up at what little bit of the ceiling he could see from the moonlight filtering through the blinds as Hangeng dozed with his head resting on Kangin’s arm. Kangin certainly hadn’t intended for that to happen. He’d never even thought he was attracted to Hangeng before, yet he was well aware he didn’t feel all that guilty over what they’d just done.
To say the next morning had been awkward would have been an understatement. They had fumbled around each other as they both got dressed, refusing to make eye contact at all for the first ten minutes. They both seemed to be frustrated by their own behaviors though, and Kangin was the first to crack. He’d meant to simply apologize for what he’d done, but the words that came out of his mouth weren’t what he’d wanted.
“Do you regret what we did?”
Hangeng blinked, looking up at him after tugging his shirt on over his head from where he sat on the edge of the bed.
“Do you?”
“I asked you first.”
“Does it matter what order we asked in? I asked you too.”
Kangin frowned, placing his hands on his hips. He was tempted to start an argument, just because he could, but then he remembered that’s exactly how the events of last night started. He bit his lip instead, hesitating a moment before shaking his head. “I… I don’t know why, but I don’t.”
“Neither do I… it was kinda… kinda nice. And sorry about your face, by the way.”
Knowing that neither of them regretted anything or harbored any ill feelings made it a little less awkward between the two of them. Once they moved past the first hurdle though, more questions seemed to pop up. Was it only a one time thing? What if they did it again? Were they a couple or just friends? They’d wound up together many more times after that, though it didn’t serve to make their ‘relationship’ any less confusing.
More often than not they existed only as friends. They didn’t dare say a word to the other members about what went on behind closed doors when everyone else was away, how could they explain it to them when they couldn’t even explain it to themselves? They only existed ‘together’ when the possibility of getting caught (or interrupted) was absolutely zero.
They’d eventually settled themselves into a somewhat comfortable routine. Though they had avoided each other completely when others were around in the beginning, the initial paranoia of being ‘caught’ had faded away, and they’d gotten comfortable enough with each other to be able to sit on the sofa and watch a movie together or with friends. They got to where they were able to chat about normal things, and had even gone out to eat together alone a few times without feeling as though everyone was whispering behind their backs. Things had been going so well… and then it had been announced that Super Junior M was going to start up activities again, and since Hangeng was still the leader that meant he’d be extra busy, and have less time for Kangin.
They’d managed for a while, sneaking in what bits of time they could when their schedules allowed, even if it meant they only had time to sneak in a few text messages each day. Kangin even started waiting up for Hangeng to return to the dorm, even if it was only for a brief kiss goodnight on the cheek before they parted ways. Waiting up had turned to falling asleep on the sofa in front of the television, though more often than not he’d find Hangeng sleeping on the sofa as well, slumped against Kangin’s shoulder. Leeteuk had asked him once why he was sleeping more on the sofa now than he was in his own bed, and Hangeng would lie and say he was always so wound up after coming home from his activities that he couldn’t sleep. He’d say he had intended to watch television just long enough to wind down, but always managed to doze off before making it back to his own bed. It was a believable excuse too, they all had crazy schedules that kept them up during odd hours and made it difficult to sleep.
The day finally came for Hangeng and his group to depart for China, and for some reason Kangin felt far more saddened than he’d expected. There’d never once been a commitment between either of them, only a few loving gestures served to take the place of unspoken words and promises. Kangin being the macho guy he was never said a word about it though, and had only given Hangeng a light pat on the shoulder before the Chinese man had slipped into the taxi that was taking the group to the airport. He stayed in his room for the rest of the day, watching the rain trickle down the window pane which only served to add to his already gloomy mood. He ignored lunch when Leeteuk cooked, because really all he wanted was Hangeng’s fried rice and try as they might, none of the other members could make it and have it taste the same. He’d lied though, saying he was just tired from staying up all night helping Hangeng pack. He’d only ventured out to eat dinner with the group when Leeteuk had threatened to come in and force feed him if he didn’t eat.
Hangeng called later on that night, after the plane had landed and they’d gotten settled in the hotel. Kangin wasn’t quite sure why a simple phone call would make him so giddy, though the fact that Hangeng had called him first before talking to the rest of them stroked his ego and made him quite happy… happy enough he ventured out to watch a movie with Sungmin and Kyuhyun after hanging up with Hangeng.
They communicated through quick phone calls and text messages for quite some time, and for a short while Kangin had forced himself to think that would be enough. But then the short phone calls became even more brief and much farther in between, and though Hangeng would answer Kangin’s texts within minutes before, it turned into hours, and eventually got to where Kangin would be lucky if he managed to hear back from him in the same day.
Kangin started to worry then, and found it hard to sleep. He’d lie in bed, in silence with the lights off and his phone resting on the pillow next to his head, waiting for the phone to ring or beep, any little something to let him know Hangeng still cared. It was those times late at night when Kangin’s mind would begin to wander. Had Hangeng found someone else? They’d never admitted to being in a relationship at all, let alone an exclusive one, so it wasn’t as if Hangeng would be cheating, though the thought of him snuggled up with someone else made a rather uncomfortable knot form in Kangin’s stomach. The harder he tried to steer his mind away from those thoughts, the more they seemed to pop up. Had he met some pretty Chinese girl? Or perhaps a Chinese boy? Then again, Hangeng had been quite close to Siwon before, hadn’t he? And Siwon was such the touchy feely type that it wasn’t hard for Kangin to imagine Hangeng curled up in Siwon’s strong arms, snuggling himself close. Those were the thoughts that made the knot in Kangin’s stomach grow so tight it made him feel queasy.
There were times Kangin had thought about sending him an e-mail or something to let him know that he really did care about him. There were even a few times he’d had the screen pulled up on his computer and started typing, but he always wound up erasing the words he’d put on the screen, scolding himself. What made him think he had a right to say such things now, when he wasn’t able to say them before? If Hangeng had indeed found someone else, what right did he have to try and guilt him into coming back? If he loved him as much as he thought he did, then shouldn’t he just be happy if Hangeng was happy, whatever the circumstances were?
He was beginning to think he was reaching his breaking point after not hearing from Hangeng for a full four days. It was almost a week, he’d reasoned with himself, and if Hangeng couldn’t be bothered to find a way to contact him in a week, then he surely must’ve moved on. He was beginning to scold himself for even thinking that there was anything at all between the two of them.
He was sure this night was going to be just as sleepless as the last two, and he was tempted to just get up from his bed and go watch television all night, but he knew if Leeteuk caught him he’d get scolded and sent right back to his room. He’d stayed in bed, and lost track of how many times he’d tossed and turned, trying to get himself comfortable enough to fall asleep. He’d finally gotten to the point where he thought he might be able to doze off when he heard the front door open.
He blinked, lifting his head up off of his pillow enough to be able to use both ears to hear, staring off into the darkness to listen. He’d been pretty sure all the members had been home when he’d gone to bed, though he figured it wasn’t all that unreasonable for one of them to wander out, perhaps to the lower dorm to visit other members, or to the late-night grocery for a snack of some sort.
The sound of a heavy bag hitting the floor caught his attention though, brows furrowing slightly as he pushed himself up in the bed to sit. He’d been close to falling asleep, but now he was wide awake again, debating on whether or not he should lie back down or go out to see who was making noise. He knew he’d never get back to sleep though, and at least now he had a reason to get up and wander around without getting scolded. He slid from his bed, not even bothering to slip his bare feet into his slippers before heading across the floor of his room to the door. He opened it as quietly as he could before peeking out, looking both right and left down the hall, but he saw nothing. He headed on out then; pausing for a moment when he saw a dim light at the end of the hall, assuming it was coming from the kitchen area. He let his feet carrying him silently to the hall, leaning around the corner to look into the open kitchen area, and the man stooped in front of the open fridge, pulling out a bottle of water.
“Ha… Hangeng?!”
Hangeng blinked when he heard his name, looking up and over at Kangin. With the refrigerator door still open Kangin was able to see that smile that spread over the Chinese man’s face. “Hey… You were supposed to be sleeping, I was going to surprise you.”
Just like in the beginning, Kangin wasn’t quite sure what came over him. He flung himself at Hangeng, practically crushing the Chinese man in a big bear hug, which Hangeng returned as best he could, even turning his head slightly to press a tender kiss to Kangin’s cheek. “I missed you.”
Kangin let go rather abruptly, shoving Hangeng back a bit as he scowled. “Then why haven’t you called in the past for days? I’ve tried calling you, I’ve sent you messages and you’ve ignored every single one of them! Do you have any idea what that put me through!? I was beginning to think you didn’t care… I…” He stopped though, realizing he’d said far more then than he ever had before Hangeng left. Hangeng just chuckled softly, leaning back against the counter top as he took a sip from the bottle of water. “I lost my phone somewhere in Beijing, I think it must’ve fallen out of my pocket in one of the taxi’s we were in. I haven’t had a chance to get a new one.”
“But you could’ve used someone else’s” Kangin frowned, but thankfully Hangeng’s answer had taken most of the steam out of his anger. Hangeng laughed, shaking his head.
“If I used Siwon, he’d want to listen to every single word. And if he knew I was calling you, then he’d want to talk too. And Kyuhyun really doesn’t like to loan out his phone, or any of his gadgets for that matter. You probably wouldn’t have answered if I called you from Henry’s number, I’m pretty sure you’re still mad he slapped you. And Donghae has so many games and other stuff on his phone I can’t figure out how to work it.”
“Well… but… why are you here, anyways? I thought you guys were busy…”
Hangeng laughed again, taking another drink of water before twisting the cap back onto the bottle. “Zhou Mi, Kyuhyun, and Ryeowook have food poisoning so bad it’s not even funny. We can’t do much of anything until they’re better, so they gave us all some time off. I have to fly back day after tomorrow… but I thought I’d come back to visit. I really did miss you.”
“…you came back just for me?” Kangin tilted his head to the side a bit, blinking slowly as he looked to Hangeng who just nodded, a soft smile gracing his lips. He moved forward then, looping one arm around Kangin, tilting his head to the side to press a tender kiss to his lips.
“If you want to go back to your room, I’ll show you just how much I missed you too.”
Pairing: Kangin/Hangeng
Length: 3296 words
Rating: PG - Vague mentions of sex
Summary: Kangin misses Hangeng something aweful.
This pairing was requested by followurdestiny. I enjoyed writing this too. It was inspired by a song I heard on the radio today called "Ain't no Sunshine", originally sung by Bill Withers, though I chose this version by Eva Cassidy over the orginally simply for the use of 'he' instead of 'she'. It's a angsty story most of the way through, but it has a happy ending.
Kangin and Hangeng were Super Junior’s best kept secret. They were a secret so well kept that the other members didn’t even know, and if the truth was known Kangin and Hangeng didn’t even know the boundaries of their relationship.
It was one of those relationships that was and wasn’t at the same time, always teetering on the fine line between falling apart and moving more closely together. Neither of them had intended to get into a relationship with the other, but things had happened, and the two of them were at least wise enough to realize it’d be foolish to go forward and try to pretend nothing ever happened between them.
Hangeng jokingly blamed things on Heechul, saying the older man was a bad influence on his personality. It had started innocently enough, with Kangin asking Hangeng to help him brush up on his Chinese. He’d done reasonably well learning it at one point in time, but when the members for Super Junior M were selected and he wasn’t included, he’d given up on it. He didn’t quit because he was upset or jealous, he simply quit because his schedule was busy enough as it was, and having one more thing to do on top of that just made it worse. Since learning Chinese was no longer absolutely necessary he’d given up, for the time being anyways.
It eventually got to where the other members were fluent enough they could carry on full conversations in the other language, and poor Kangin (and several of the other members) would be absolutely oblivious. It got even worse when the two Chinese members came to stay. Conversations had gone from being in Korean to predominately Chinese, and Kangin felt left out. He’d pulled his Chinese books out from under his bed then and dusted them off, though he’d forgotten so much of it already that trying to pick up where he’d left off was impossible. He’d asked Siwon for help first, but Siwon’s Chinese lessons turned out to be more like lectures, and Kangin had been bored out of his mind. He’d asked Donghae next, and though the lessons were much more interesting, they were both so easily distracted that they were lucky if the lessons ever lasted more than twenty minutes. He asked Hangeng to help him next, and Hangeng had agreed.
Hangeng was a good teacher, and patient too. He explained things when it was needed, but let Kangin figure plenty out on his own as well. Kangin had learned a lot that way, enough that he was venturing away from the text books and going more off of the phrases Hangeng would come up with to teach him. Kangin had always fancied himself quite the comedian, so it was only natural for him to ask Hangeng to teach him something funny. Hangeng had thought for a moment before a grin slid over his lips, carefully writing his chosen phrase in Chinese on a piece of paper before sliding it over to Kangin.
“There you go. That’s a good one.”
Kangin grinned as well, taking the piece of paper with him as he slipped out of Hangeng’s room, working hard over the next few days to memorize the phrase. Hangeng had never expected Kangin to actually use the line, but Heechul had screwed him up enough teaching him Korean, he figured it was only fair that he get to screw with someone else. It wasn’t until an angry Kangin had appeared in his doorway, a rather large handprint on the side of his face, did Hangeng think he might’ve made a mistake.
“…getting me to tell someone they look like an ugly monkey is not funny…”
“You didn’t specify you wanted it to be funny for you. It would’ve been funny for me to get to see you say it…” He bit his lip, doing his best not to snicker. Kangin never did realize how adorable he looked when he was angry, and seeing Hangeng struggling not to laugh at him only pissed him off further. More words were exchanged, and the two of them had wound up coming to blows over it, rolling about in a tangled knot of arms and limbs on the floor like children. Hangeng never meant for them to fight over it, he understood why Kangin might be upset, but at the same time Kangin was always pulling tricks on the other members, it was only fair he got a taste of his own medicine.
Somehow Hangeng had wound up flat on his back on the floor with Kangin atop him, pinning his hands against the floor. It wasn’t until Hangeng lifted his eyes up to gaze at Kangin’s face that he realized just how pretty the other man’s eyes were. He’d never noticed how long his eyelashes were before either, curled just right in order to frame those dark chocolate eyes. He never recalled being this close before, close enough to realize that though Kangin tried his hardest to be all buff and macho and a harass, his lips looked so soft and plush and full.
Kangin’s eyes were staring right into Hangeng’s as his face was examined, and he wasn’t quite sure why he felt as though he was being pulled forward, why he felt like he was being sucked into whatever gravitational pull Hangeng had developed around him. He wasn’t even sure why he felt himself moving forward, closing the distance between them to press his lips to Hangeng’s in a tender kiss. He wasn’t sure why the fight had ended so quickly, and he didn’t quite understand why Hangeng wasn’t pulling away from the kiss, either.
One kiss had turned into two, two turned into five, and hours later Kangin was left naked and sweaty in the darkness of Hangeng’s room, staring up at what little bit of the ceiling he could see from the moonlight filtering through the blinds as Hangeng dozed with his head resting on Kangin’s arm. Kangin certainly hadn’t intended for that to happen. He’d never even thought he was attracted to Hangeng before, yet he was well aware he didn’t feel all that guilty over what they’d just done.
To say the next morning had been awkward would have been an understatement. They had fumbled around each other as they both got dressed, refusing to make eye contact at all for the first ten minutes. They both seemed to be frustrated by their own behaviors though, and Kangin was the first to crack. He’d meant to simply apologize for what he’d done, but the words that came out of his mouth weren’t what he’d wanted.
“Do you regret what we did?”
Hangeng blinked, looking up at him after tugging his shirt on over his head from where he sat on the edge of the bed.
“Do you?”
“I asked you first.”
“Does it matter what order we asked in? I asked you too.”
Kangin frowned, placing his hands on his hips. He was tempted to start an argument, just because he could, but then he remembered that’s exactly how the events of last night started. He bit his lip instead, hesitating a moment before shaking his head. “I… I don’t know why, but I don’t.”
“Neither do I… it was kinda… kinda nice. And sorry about your face, by the way.”
Knowing that neither of them regretted anything or harbored any ill feelings made it a little less awkward between the two of them. Once they moved past the first hurdle though, more questions seemed to pop up. Was it only a one time thing? What if they did it again? Were they a couple or just friends? They’d wound up together many more times after that, though it didn’t serve to make their ‘relationship’ any less confusing.
More often than not they existed only as friends. They didn’t dare say a word to the other members about what went on behind closed doors when everyone else was away, how could they explain it to them when they couldn’t even explain it to themselves? They only existed ‘together’ when the possibility of getting caught (or interrupted) was absolutely zero.
They’d eventually settled themselves into a somewhat comfortable routine. Though they had avoided each other completely when others were around in the beginning, the initial paranoia of being ‘caught’ had faded away, and they’d gotten comfortable enough with each other to be able to sit on the sofa and watch a movie together or with friends. They got to where they were able to chat about normal things, and had even gone out to eat together alone a few times without feeling as though everyone was whispering behind their backs. Things had been going so well… and then it had been announced that Super Junior M was going to start up activities again, and since Hangeng was still the leader that meant he’d be extra busy, and have less time for Kangin.
They’d managed for a while, sneaking in what bits of time they could when their schedules allowed, even if it meant they only had time to sneak in a few text messages each day. Kangin even started waiting up for Hangeng to return to the dorm, even if it was only for a brief kiss goodnight on the cheek before they parted ways. Waiting up had turned to falling asleep on the sofa in front of the television, though more often than not he’d find Hangeng sleeping on the sofa as well, slumped against Kangin’s shoulder. Leeteuk had asked him once why he was sleeping more on the sofa now than he was in his own bed, and Hangeng would lie and say he was always so wound up after coming home from his activities that he couldn’t sleep. He’d say he had intended to watch television just long enough to wind down, but always managed to doze off before making it back to his own bed. It was a believable excuse too, they all had crazy schedules that kept them up during odd hours and made it difficult to sleep.
The day finally came for Hangeng and his group to depart for China, and for some reason Kangin felt far more saddened than he’d expected. There’d never once been a commitment between either of them, only a few loving gestures served to take the place of unspoken words and promises. Kangin being the macho guy he was never said a word about it though, and had only given Hangeng a light pat on the shoulder before the Chinese man had slipped into the taxi that was taking the group to the airport. He stayed in his room for the rest of the day, watching the rain trickle down the window pane which only served to add to his already gloomy mood. He ignored lunch when Leeteuk cooked, because really all he wanted was Hangeng’s fried rice and try as they might, none of the other members could make it and have it taste the same. He’d lied though, saying he was just tired from staying up all night helping Hangeng pack. He’d only ventured out to eat dinner with the group when Leeteuk had threatened to come in and force feed him if he didn’t eat.
Hangeng called later on that night, after the plane had landed and they’d gotten settled in the hotel. Kangin wasn’t quite sure why a simple phone call would make him so giddy, though the fact that Hangeng had called him first before talking to the rest of them stroked his ego and made him quite happy… happy enough he ventured out to watch a movie with Sungmin and Kyuhyun after hanging up with Hangeng.
They communicated through quick phone calls and text messages for quite some time, and for a short while Kangin had forced himself to think that would be enough. But then the short phone calls became even more brief and much farther in between, and though Hangeng would answer Kangin’s texts within minutes before, it turned into hours, and eventually got to where Kangin would be lucky if he managed to hear back from him in the same day.
Kangin started to worry then, and found it hard to sleep. He’d lie in bed, in silence with the lights off and his phone resting on the pillow next to his head, waiting for the phone to ring or beep, any little something to let him know Hangeng still cared. It was those times late at night when Kangin’s mind would begin to wander. Had Hangeng found someone else? They’d never admitted to being in a relationship at all, let alone an exclusive one, so it wasn’t as if Hangeng would be cheating, though the thought of him snuggled up with someone else made a rather uncomfortable knot form in Kangin’s stomach. The harder he tried to steer his mind away from those thoughts, the more they seemed to pop up. Had he met some pretty Chinese girl? Or perhaps a Chinese boy? Then again, Hangeng had been quite close to Siwon before, hadn’t he? And Siwon was such the touchy feely type that it wasn’t hard for Kangin to imagine Hangeng curled up in Siwon’s strong arms, snuggling himself close. Those were the thoughts that made the knot in Kangin’s stomach grow so tight it made him feel queasy.
There were times Kangin had thought about sending him an e-mail or something to let him know that he really did care about him. There were even a few times he’d had the screen pulled up on his computer and started typing, but he always wound up erasing the words he’d put on the screen, scolding himself. What made him think he had a right to say such things now, when he wasn’t able to say them before? If Hangeng had indeed found someone else, what right did he have to try and guilt him into coming back? If he loved him as much as he thought he did, then shouldn’t he just be happy if Hangeng was happy, whatever the circumstances were?
He was beginning to think he was reaching his breaking point after not hearing from Hangeng for a full four days. It was almost a week, he’d reasoned with himself, and if Hangeng couldn’t be bothered to find a way to contact him in a week, then he surely must’ve moved on. He was beginning to scold himself for even thinking that there was anything at all between the two of them.
He was sure this night was going to be just as sleepless as the last two, and he was tempted to just get up from his bed and go watch television all night, but he knew if Leeteuk caught him he’d get scolded and sent right back to his room. He’d stayed in bed, and lost track of how many times he’d tossed and turned, trying to get himself comfortable enough to fall asleep. He’d finally gotten to the point where he thought he might be able to doze off when he heard the front door open.
He blinked, lifting his head up off of his pillow enough to be able to use both ears to hear, staring off into the darkness to listen. He’d been pretty sure all the members had been home when he’d gone to bed, though he figured it wasn’t all that unreasonable for one of them to wander out, perhaps to the lower dorm to visit other members, or to the late-night grocery for a snack of some sort.
The sound of a heavy bag hitting the floor caught his attention though, brows furrowing slightly as he pushed himself up in the bed to sit. He’d been close to falling asleep, but now he was wide awake again, debating on whether or not he should lie back down or go out to see who was making noise. He knew he’d never get back to sleep though, and at least now he had a reason to get up and wander around without getting scolded. He slid from his bed, not even bothering to slip his bare feet into his slippers before heading across the floor of his room to the door. He opened it as quietly as he could before peeking out, looking both right and left down the hall, but he saw nothing. He headed on out then; pausing for a moment when he saw a dim light at the end of the hall, assuming it was coming from the kitchen area. He let his feet carrying him silently to the hall, leaning around the corner to look into the open kitchen area, and the man stooped in front of the open fridge, pulling out a bottle of water.
“Ha… Hangeng?!”
Hangeng blinked when he heard his name, looking up and over at Kangin. With the refrigerator door still open Kangin was able to see that smile that spread over the Chinese man’s face. “Hey… You were supposed to be sleeping, I was going to surprise you.”
Just like in the beginning, Kangin wasn’t quite sure what came over him. He flung himself at Hangeng, practically crushing the Chinese man in a big bear hug, which Hangeng returned as best he could, even turning his head slightly to press a tender kiss to Kangin’s cheek. “I missed you.”
Kangin let go rather abruptly, shoving Hangeng back a bit as he scowled. “Then why haven’t you called in the past for days? I’ve tried calling you, I’ve sent you messages and you’ve ignored every single one of them! Do you have any idea what that put me through!? I was beginning to think you didn’t care… I…” He stopped though, realizing he’d said far more then than he ever had before Hangeng left. Hangeng just chuckled softly, leaning back against the counter top as he took a sip from the bottle of water. “I lost my phone somewhere in Beijing, I think it must’ve fallen out of my pocket in one of the taxi’s we were in. I haven’t had a chance to get a new one.”
“But you could’ve used someone else’s” Kangin frowned, but thankfully Hangeng’s answer had taken most of the steam out of his anger. Hangeng laughed, shaking his head.
“If I used Siwon, he’d want to listen to every single word. And if he knew I was calling you, then he’d want to talk too. And Kyuhyun really doesn’t like to loan out his phone, or any of his gadgets for that matter. You probably wouldn’t have answered if I called you from Henry’s number, I’m pretty sure you’re still mad he slapped you. And Donghae has so many games and other stuff on his phone I can’t figure out how to work it.”
“Well… but… why are you here, anyways? I thought you guys were busy…”
Hangeng laughed again, taking another drink of water before twisting the cap back onto the bottle. “Zhou Mi, Kyuhyun, and Ryeowook have food poisoning so bad it’s not even funny. We can’t do much of anything until they’re better, so they gave us all some time off. I have to fly back day after tomorrow… but I thought I’d come back to visit. I really did miss you.”
“…you came back just for me?” Kangin tilted his head to the side a bit, blinking slowly as he looked to Hangeng who just nodded, a soft smile gracing his lips. He moved forward then, looping one arm around Kangin, tilting his head to the side to press a tender kiss to his lips.
“If you want to go back to your room, I’ll show you just how much I missed you too.”