30 August 1982
Jake,
You are a right bloody idiot. If you keep this up? You're always going to be Uncle Jake and everyone's favourite babysitter. Congratulations to you, my friend.
Even Rachel Vector is knocked up. Rachel. Vector. You are not Michael's father. You never will be. What are you doing? Karma is a bitch for being a homewrecker, Jake.
Oh, how forgetful of me! A whole case of beer just waiting to for me to drink. Cheers!