(no subject)
Uni day has come and gone again. A couple of things have taken place at this week's little gathering. First of all, we all read each other's script proposals and were asked to pitch them to the rest of the group (and the lecturers). We also received our marks for them, which was something I dreaded a little. But one good thing about having such a small class size is that things are fairly casual and informal, so we were able to talk out our impressions and beliefs about each others' script proposals. What made it difficult for me was that I could feel my whole body spasming in anxiety when my turn to do the pitch was coming up. I did not get a lot of questions about my script proposal, but I also do not believe I did such a great job of explaining it so that everyone completely understood it. Oh well, not that I really care. I passed that assignment, and that is the main thing. We were then asked if we felt we could do through and develop multiple scripts to completion. The consensus was that we were best off sticking with just one. Then we were asked to decide which of the script proposals we actually wanted to make. This prompted a lot of talk about each one's strengths and weaknesses.
Now, a certain red-haired woman was at the class today, and I got to read her script proposal for the first time. When I read through it, I immediately thought that this is the one I wanted to make a finished film out of. The script in question is about a woman who is a musician trying to finish a demo CD who ends up seeing a "ghost" (although we have sort of come to the consensus that he should be a hallucination produced by some sort of mental health crisis). The first thing I said when we were asked which script we were going to produce was that I really wanted to produce her script. I think that is the most overt indication I have given so far of my admiration for, or interest in, this person. But all kidding aside, this is the third time I have seen her produce something that made me question myself about why I did not think of such an idea. I really feel weird saying that now. Anyway, after the lecture was completed, we ended up going into the computer lab and having a look at the Avid software that we will be expected to use in order to edit our forthcoming masterwork. I am really afraid of that thing at the moment because I do not quite understand how it all works. Oh well.
Prior to the beginning of class, I also gave this woman a CD-R I had made of a small number of doom metal bands. The main idea being that since I had mentioned one particular song in a previous discussion of my script proposal idea, I thought I would let her hear an example of what I was talking about. I do not know what she thinks of this, but at least I can look myself in the mirror and say I tried to communicate in a sort of friendly manner. Although the writer in me wonders if she does not see me as somewhat threatening, because I really have a very unconventional style of communication, it seems. This is just me overthinking it, really. I just cannot help obsessing to the point of burnout about what she thinks. This is the first person I have met in a long time whose thoughts about what I do or say actually concern me. Anyway, after the tutorial and introduction to the Avid editing suite ended, the whole class sat down near the cafeteria and started to discuss ideas regarding the script for the video. We also discussed a bit about who we were going to cast in the roles. There are, of course, plenty of acting students in the university, but one thing we all felt was that we needed one person who could be made to look sufficiently creepy.
So we now have a project to try and get finished, we just need to work out how we are going to finish it. The next assignment we have to turn in is a production schedule for the video we are making. This is basically a tabled list of shots, their locations, the times we plan on shooting them, and the props we expect to need. I am not sure how we are going to complete this assignment, but we will cross that hurdle when we get to it. The first step to a complete production schedule is a script. One must look over the script and figure out how many shots it will require, how many locations it will require, what props are required, and so forth. It is a big job, obviously. I want to get into it as much as I can, but ultimately we are focused upon getting the script finished first. To that end, the group wrote down their email addresses and phone numbers on multiple notepads and handed them around. So we can send each other annoying notes about what the script should or should not contain, and why. I am just happy I finished an assignment and got a passing mark, really. I still would like to make a film out of my own script proposal sometime, but I am going to have to focus on the present one for now.
On the social services front, the news has not changed in any way at all. They are still ignoring me, and I am still having major problems as a result. And the worst part is that the support people at the university end up copping the brunt of my meltdowns about it. Not that I am particularly impressed with the support people at the university lately. The secretary at the local campus gave me the 'phone number of the course coordinator, and suggested I speak to them about whether I am enrolled in the right course. So when I called them and explained the problems I was having, they suggested that I switch to a different course that focuses more on the things that I am good at. Speech-making classes are not, never have been, and never will be the sort of thing I should be enrolled in. But the problem is that whenever I try to talk to the support person at the university about things like this, they always manage to divert the conversation away from what I am trying to get done. It is never about what I need, but rather always about what a hassle I am and what the university expects and such shit. Well, I am sorry, but when you make it this difficult to enrol in the correct course for the career path one wants to pursue, you get what you deserve.
Oh yeah, and one other thing I want to mention before I go. Of the five script proposals we went over today, there were two that sort of fell flat. One was submitted by a student who was actually there to defend it in person, and they acknowledged that there were a lot of things he had not adequately thought through in it. Which is fair enough. If you can admit openly that you needed to work out the idea more, that is half the battle in doing better next time. The other script proposal, the author was not there in person, so I do not know how they would have reacted to this, but I stated in the discussion that on a scale of one to ten for wanting to make the script in question, it would have to be a one. The script proposal concerns a stereotypical nerd who has computer problems and goes out into the world in order to get a part to resolve them. The problem I pointed out was that the character was a very exaggerated stereotype (not a good idea with a Blade Runner fan), and the situation so ludicrous that it destroys all suspension of disbelief before the story has a chance to build any. It was the sort of thing I would expect from the normalist slime I went to other schools with, so I was a bit revolted by it. Oh well, you cannot win them all.
Anyway, I must leave now in order to try and recover from the exhaustion that early mornings always bring about. In the meantime, I will leave you with the following words of wisdom: Having one thing to do that fulfils you cannot make up for being left out in the cold.
Now, a certain red-haired woman was at the class today, and I got to read her script proposal for the first time. When I read through it, I immediately thought that this is the one I wanted to make a finished film out of. The script in question is about a woman who is a musician trying to finish a demo CD who ends up seeing a "ghost" (although we have sort of come to the consensus that he should be a hallucination produced by some sort of mental health crisis). The first thing I said when we were asked which script we were going to produce was that I really wanted to produce her script. I think that is the most overt indication I have given so far of my admiration for, or interest in, this person. But all kidding aside, this is the third time I have seen her produce something that made me question myself about why I did not think of such an idea. I really feel weird saying that now. Anyway, after the lecture was completed, we ended up going into the computer lab and having a look at the Avid software that we will be expected to use in order to edit our forthcoming masterwork. I am really afraid of that thing at the moment because I do not quite understand how it all works. Oh well.
Prior to the beginning of class, I also gave this woman a CD-R I had made of a small number of doom metal bands. The main idea being that since I had mentioned one particular song in a previous discussion of my script proposal idea, I thought I would let her hear an example of what I was talking about. I do not know what she thinks of this, but at least I can look myself in the mirror and say I tried to communicate in a sort of friendly manner. Although the writer in me wonders if she does not see me as somewhat threatening, because I really have a very unconventional style of communication, it seems. This is just me overthinking it, really. I just cannot help obsessing to the point of burnout about what she thinks. This is the first person I have met in a long time whose thoughts about what I do or say actually concern me. Anyway, after the tutorial and introduction to the Avid editing suite ended, the whole class sat down near the cafeteria and started to discuss ideas regarding the script for the video. We also discussed a bit about who we were going to cast in the roles. There are, of course, plenty of acting students in the university, but one thing we all felt was that we needed one person who could be made to look sufficiently creepy.
So we now have a project to try and get finished, we just need to work out how we are going to finish it. The next assignment we have to turn in is a production schedule for the video we are making. This is basically a tabled list of shots, their locations, the times we plan on shooting them, and the props we expect to need. I am not sure how we are going to complete this assignment, but we will cross that hurdle when we get to it. The first step to a complete production schedule is a script. One must look over the script and figure out how many shots it will require, how many locations it will require, what props are required, and so forth. It is a big job, obviously. I want to get into it as much as I can, but ultimately we are focused upon getting the script finished first. To that end, the group wrote down their email addresses and phone numbers on multiple notepads and handed them around. So we can send each other annoying notes about what the script should or should not contain, and why. I am just happy I finished an assignment and got a passing mark, really. I still would like to make a film out of my own script proposal sometime, but I am going to have to focus on the present one for now.
On the social services front, the news has not changed in any way at all. They are still ignoring me, and I am still having major problems as a result. And the worst part is that the support people at the university end up copping the brunt of my meltdowns about it. Not that I am particularly impressed with the support people at the university lately. The secretary at the local campus gave me the 'phone number of the course coordinator, and suggested I speak to them about whether I am enrolled in the right course. So when I called them and explained the problems I was having, they suggested that I switch to a different course that focuses more on the things that I am good at. Speech-making classes are not, never have been, and never will be the sort of thing I should be enrolled in. But the problem is that whenever I try to talk to the support person at the university about things like this, they always manage to divert the conversation away from what I am trying to get done. It is never about what I need, but rather always about what a hassle I am and what the university expects and such shit. Well, I am sorry, but when you make it this difficult to enrol in the correct course for the career path one wants to pursue, you get what you deserve.
Oh yeah, and one other thing I want to mention before I go. Of the five script proposals we went over today, there were two that sort of fell flat. One was submitted by a student who was actually there to defend it in person, and they acknowledged that there were a lot of things he had not adequately thought through in it. Which is fair enough. If you can admit openly that you needed to work out the idea more, that is half the battle in doing better next time. The other script proposal, the author was not there in person, so I do not know how they would have reacted to this, but I stated in the discussion that on a scale of one to ten for wanting to make the script in question, it would have to be a one. The script proposal concerns a stereotypical nerd who has computer problems and goes out into the world in order to get a part to resolve them. The problem I pointed out was that the character was a very exaggerated stereotype (not a good idea with a Blade Runner fan), and the situation so ludicrous that it destroys all suspension of disbelief before the story has a chance to build any. It was the sort of thing I would expect from the normalist slime I went to other schools with, so I was a bit revolted by it. Oh well, you cannot win them all.
Anyway, I must leave now in order to try and recover from the exhaustion that early mornings always bring about. In the meantime, I will leave you with the following words of wisdom: Having one thing to do that fulfils you cannot make up for being left out in the cold.