Being the total winner that I am, I spent tonight (Saturday) in front of my computer, alone, drinking beer and looking through other people's memoried pages.

I found this:
http://www.wittenburgdoor.com/archives/whichcircle01.html
on bjsurvivor's journal (I think - it was 2 hours and many cans of Fosters ago).

Dear FUCKHEAD,

I hate you. You are a fucking liability: when you are around, things go to shit. Today, I wanted to headbutt you. We had busier days than today while you were away and everything went perfectly. Today, however, was a mess, simply because you were there, being atrociously lazy, as ever, and making terrible decisions. Yes, on a Saturday ( Read more... )

I fucking HATE the wasps that live in the bathroom wall - they are being a bunch of fucking un-cooperative DICKS.

This is the scenario: a few months ago my boyfriend and I noticed that we were finding a lot of wasps in his flat. At first we didn't know where they were coming from, but then I figured out where the nest was, because one day when I was ( Read more... )

Dear Dick,

You misjudged that one, didn't you? I don't suppose you're ever going to try to pull rank on me in front of my co-workers again, are you? Because chances are, I'll do exactly what I did today: laugh in your face and walk away to go and do some ACTUAL FUCKING WORK, leaving you looking like a complete tool.

When you refer to yourself in the ( Read more... )

Okay my sister is going to have twins and I am freaking out with excitement.

I'm trying to think of names for them (they're identical but we don't know if they're boys or girls) but all the suggestions I've seen so far are supremely shit.

Taylor and Tyler? Shit and shit.
Amy and May? Twee and twee.
Um... Dorcas and Tabitha? Are you trying to get them ( Read more... )

Why do new customers in restaurants ALWAYS choose to sit on dirty tables? WHY? WHY?

WHY?

At the place where I work, if a new group walks through the door and there are 10 clean tables and ONE dirty one, covered with cups and plates and crumbs and spilt water and tea, THAT is the one the new people will sit on. And then they call a waitress over and ( Read more... )

Making a decision is a big deal because I am SHIT at making my mind up.

I vacillate terribly. It doesn't matter if it's a really insignificant decision (should I have coffee or tea? which pub do I want to go to?)  or a really major one (should I move to Tanzania? should I defer my university studies for a year?)  - I can never just make up my ( Read more... )

I had it in my mouth because my eye was really hurting so I took the contact lens out, and I didn't want it to dry out.
I couldn't put it in its case, because I didn't have it with me: I was at my friend Miranda's place, where I'd slept the night before (we went out drinking and her place is closer to the pub than mine is.)

So anyway I was lying ( Read more... )

This guy called James Frey wrote a book called A Million Little Pieces, which is all about his life as an out-of-control,  meth-taking, crack-smoking alcoholic, and his "journey to recovery."  I picked it up in a bookshop once, and read the first few pages, because the guy I was going out with at the time was trying to convince me that I was an ( Read more... )

I have recently got involved in a nascent debate with a fucking fool person about Margaret Sanger. As an antichoicer, the fucking fool person has come out with the usual horseshit about how Sanger was a racist, just wanted to get rid of all black people, etc etc.

I have stayed away from the debate for a few days because I don't want to lose my rag, ( Read more... )