n3v3r lookin back...
I was sittin watching MTV2 in the living room and this twista video came on and when i heard these lyrics that caused me to sit here and write about it. "And with some Luther come on and hope you finna and stilla be in love with me" i had a really eerry flash back:
*Sava and i were in his firey red mustang 84' or 89'(don't remember which) driving to his mom's house she had just recently moved into. In Berwin? (don't remember) on one of our many half days from skool (one of the half days that i was able to escape from the prison that i call home)
**Fighting over the radio (and i won** he always let me : ) Listening to w/e but... this song by twista is one i always felt myself stopping on and listening to no matter what for two reasons
1. so sava wouldn't get all pissy about me being a control freek
2. Something about the song always made me stop, it gave me this feeling that to this day i couldn't explain, but most of all this line reminded me of us (and at the time few songs overraptured me with this feeling)
***This flashblack took place at the hieght of sava and my falling inlove (with each other of course) And oddly enough that feeling hasn't faded from his eyes and love is everything everyone said it would be and more... your 1st love is always the best and hardest to get over... the getting over isn't something i havn't had to expeirence just yet.
**** But this whole thing got me to thinking about this past year i've fallen in love, said 'i love you' and meant it, joked around about saying 'i do', felt the heart break of getting your heart broken and mended all in the same week, felt the pain and yet passion of what your first time is like and is. And knowing after all of this the pain the passion the fire in my eyes and heart is still buring strong and nothing rite now would i change tohave this feeling dissapear from me forever. idk everything since a certain front lawn incident has changed everything and nothings been the same for anyone i will i could sleep that day away...
***** But if i could make one alpology to one person this year it would be Sava for loving me and stickin with me throght the stickisest stiuations...and most of all still loving me ... thats something that no one else could give to me...
so thank you and i love you too with all of my heart...
i love him and always will...
happy new year...
**mandalynn bauer gavrilovic**