Queer people don't take marriage for granted + other recent major epiphanies and mischellany

[kinkedriotfemme]

My gorgeous boy is cooking what smells like the world's most delicious tacos in the kitchen, Jeff Buckley is heard from the laptop's speakers while I scribble circles on the blank slate in my head that I am trying to unfurl into some semblance of coherent, cathartic journaling. Here's to my success in this endeavor.

...The tacos were indeed from

Comments

[humanrevolution]

Your boy wishes You never felt invisible, regardless of whether or not marriage ever enters the picture. he certainly understands that feeling. Your boy feels invisible everyday. That's on of the reasons he's so open about his gender identity and status with everyone.
This post is very articulate and thoughtful. Your boy needs to make a post of his own. he has quite a bit to process himself.
my love for You far surpasses the limits of our language. Your boy wishes You could see Yourself the way that he does for just one moment.
he is blessed and humbled by Your love. he is more and more grateful everyday.

[lilgirlgemma]

imho marriage is way overrated. which is why i did it *one* time and vowed never to repeat that mistake again. but again, that's just my personal opinion. it comes from having such a miserable marriage.

me? i'll be happy when i've earned Anatol's collar. :)

i'm glad you found a leather family. i don't know these people, but i know enough to hope they don't judge me cuz my sister is rose LOL

*kiss*

i can't wait til tomorrow!!! i'm so so so so excited!!!

[humanrevolution]

I think that part of the more important privileges that marriage provides is the ability to be there by your spouse when they are sick, to make major life choices when they are somehow incapcitated and to do what they wanted done when/if they pass rather than having someone who they didn't want to come in and make those decisions for you. I know about all of this from first hand experience. I lost my first partner and when she died, her brother and his family, who had turned their backs on her because she was gay, who had left her high and dry while she was alive, came back like vultures, took over her funeral, made all the decisions for her and didn't give her real family any say so whatsoever and then took all of her personal possessions. There are other privileges and incentives given to married couples as well

[lilgirlgemma]

oh i totally understand where you're coming from! not only would you be able to make life decisions, you'd also be able to get insurance coverage, etc. there's a lot of advantages TO being married. i totally agree with you there.

i wasn't trying to slam being married, it just isn't something *i* would do ever again. a lot of it has to do with all my medical bills, too. i don't think it'd be fair for me to get married and if something should happen to me again... my spouse would then be held responsible for the $100,000's of dollars that i have in medical bills before we even were married, yanno?

and get yer ass to bed! you have a lot of things to take care of before your trip tomorrow! *lol*

i'm SO hyped! i can't wait to see you two!!!!!

[sassafrasolivia]

i think that marriage is a complicated issue---- my partner/Daddy and i are legally married and it was not something that we entered into lightly. a big part of all the things that entered into our heads was that it is a homophobic institution. we lived in oregon and were both working 60 hours a week for the no on 36 campaign (that was trying to stop the constitutional amendment to ban marriage)----ze actually asked me to be hir life partner when we were chalking a college campus. something that also weighed heavily for us- was my adopted dyke moms who can't get married, and want to desperatly. they were married by oregon only have their marriage revoked by the state

[a_spirited_soul]

In the meantime, I would highly recommend legal documents that appoint each other as healthcare proxies. Very often, your doctor's office will have these forms. You also can protect other legal rights with wills and trusts, when you start accumulating property.

[lizs18]

Marriage is really tricky and I think people should do what they feel is right for themselves and their relationships.

I find it distasteful that the state confers rights and responsibilities depending on relationship status and the configuration of the sex and gender of those involved. The institution of marriage and its legacy gives me the heebie jeebies as does the many cultural norms associated. However, not liking an institution doesn't mean I begrudge people who as individuals do what they need to do for their families. I'm not a huge fan of capitalism, but I need to eat and have a roof over my head so I participate in it. I look at marriage as similar. We do what we can to take care of ourselves and our loved ones.