Round table discussion toward improving Muggle-Wizard relations

[kira_cho]

Minister of Magic Cornelius Fudge would like to welcome all of you in this round table discussion toward improving Muggle-Wizard relations

Comments

[stoppered_death]

Name: Severus Tobias Snape
Occupation: Suffering Fools, Not At All Gladly
Location: Sitting on this blasted panel, for the absolute minimum amount of time I can manage.

Question/Concern: Will I be able to extricate myself from a roomful of Ministers, Muggles and Mongrels, while keeping the bodycount down to single digits?

[quiet_watcher]

Ah, professor. Nice to see you here.

Perhaps the better question might be, why not double the digits, when it can be double the fun?

[stoppered_death]

Ah, but consider the waste of valuable ingredients, Mister Zabini. Are you aware the prices that even ordinary Muggle bodyparts fetch at Burke and Hare's Apothecary and Smallgoods store?

[lilian_cho]

Oh, do enlighten us Muggles.

And why would Wizarding apothecaries carry Muggle body parts, pray tell?

[somigliana]

Name: Priscilla Jones
Cccupation: Geologist
Location: England, UK

Question/concern for the other panelists to answer:
1. Please explain how Apparition works? My relatives haven't given me an adequate enough answer. Do wizards have the ability to open up a wormhole in the space-time continuum?
2. My sister Hestia told me about Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. What mineral is this stone? And what is its crystalline form?
3. Why have dragon fossils never been found?
4. Do wands display an energy field?
5. Is the output from spells and charms rather like photons?
6. Are the basic principles of Arithmancy rather like the fundamentals of Calculus?

[stoppered_death]

1: I shall answer that question as soon as you explain to me precisely what you mean by the phrase 'a wormhole in the space-time continuum'.

2: I shall pass this question on to Professor Dumbledore.

3: The volatility of the various species in genus Draco extends to their very biology. One of the Thirteen Uses for Dragon's Blood is as a near-universal solvent. Death breaks the infinitesimal magical shields running throughout their bodies, and the highly corrosive fluids dissolve the corpse to a tarry sludge in a matter of hours. This is, of course, one of the reasons why dragon parts are so rare and highly valuable: they must be swiftly salvaged and subjected to Scourgify, Tergeo, and Impermeable Charms

[somigliana]

1. A wormhole is a hypothetical topological feature of spacetime that is essentially a "shortcut" through space and time
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wormhole

2. Thanks, luv.

3. Well that does rather make sense. So the magical shields protect the dragons from their own blood while they're still alive. hmmm. interesting.

4. What is a millithaum?

5. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Photon

6. Oh, that won't be necessary, dear heart. But I should teach you to use wikipedia :D

[stoppered_death]

1: Hm. That does sound similar. The sensation is not unlike - I imagine - being swallowed and disgorged by a basilisk. Without the gastric juices, thank Merlin.

2: Can I possibly strike you as the 'luv'ly type?

3: Precisely. One of the more common ailments dragons are subject to is heartburn. Literally.

4: One thousandth of the average output per second from the standing magical field of a wand not in direct contact with its wizard! Honestly, do try to keep up.

5: Hm. The wave/particle paradox does sound similar, but of course magical energy is not about to register on anything so vulgar as photometers.

6: Yes, I suspect that my heart would fetch a pretty price among embittered ex-students, purely because the owner could collect on years of bets that I did not actually possess said organ. Such a pity that I'm far from finished with it.

[androgynous88]

BTW, for the Muggles (and interested Wizards) in the audience:

I recently got my hands on a preserved dragon fetus in China.

Anyone wants to make the first bid?

I need money to replace that First Edition Potions Ingredients book that I dropped in the cauldron.

[lilian_cho]

Isn't this...illegal?

[stoppered_death]

Really? Who, praytell, was the supplier?

[androgynous88]

I went to the equivalent of Knockturn Alley in China last summer holiday.

Supposedly it was from some janitor working for a Dragon Reserve in China. This female dragon died, and they only discovered that it was pregnant when they cut up the corpse.

I think the janitor stole the fetus they intended to throw away the fetus.

Care to make a bid, professor?

[bite_fetish]

Name: Remus Lupin
Occupation: Unemployed
Location: The Leaky Cauldren.

Question/Concern: Quite frankly, shouldn't we focus on improving the Wizarding World before venturing into the no doubt long and complicated task of improving Wizard - Muggles relations?

[slyth_veela]

You're right! I think we should start re-decorating this room...

[bite_fetish]

That would certainly be a start.

[quiet_watcher]

But Professor *takes a note from earlier and forces a smile on his face*, when a large part of the problem is the Muggles and Muggleborns and our relations with them, I see no reason not to focus on it.

[slyth_veela]

Name: Narcissa Black Malfoy
Occupations: Shopping, visits to husband at Askaban (not very often - that place is disgusting)
Location: Malfoy's Mannor

Question/Concern:

Sorry, I'm late - I really needed to have my hair done
Can I have a sit next to Severus?

[quiet_watcher]

Are you sure you want to do that, m'lady? He's in a rather foul mood today.

Though his comments are quite amusing in an otherwise boring and dreary setting.

[slyth_veela]

I see, dear. I believe he will be glad to see me - although he won´t admit it

[quiet_watcher]

Who wouldn't be glad to see you though, Mrs. Malfoy? Beauty does add so much to a location. I suppose it must affect even our esteemed Potions Professor.