Permanent: Temporary[Series Part 3]
Adam found the doctor at the front desk. Luckily, the short balding men with the annoying voice was around a bunch of people, or Adam may have become physically aggressive.
"What did you give my baby sister?" he growled lowly.
The doctor turned his frame in Adam's direction, eyebrows raised in suprise. "Give her? Theres no treatment for Dawson's Mr. Lambert. I havent given her anything."
"Yea?" Adam scoffed defiantly. "then why doesnt she recognise her own brother?!" Concentrating on the feel of his palms as he clenched and unclenched his fist, Adam towered over the doctor. He now had a look of sympathy on his stupid, pudgy face. "Im so sorry Mr. Lambert." He said softly as he reached up to clamp what Adam was sure was meant to be a comforting hand on his shoulder. "It must be progressing faster than I thought, its a common symptom of Dawson's, Im so sorry."
Adam didnt understand. She couldnt possibly not remember. He wondered what she did have memories of. The spitfire definately remembered Kris...but why not Adam? He supposed that was the basis of everything that had brought him here. Why? His head was swimming and he needed to get out. He needed some sort of release, escape, answers, an outlet, anything. So he ran. With no place to go, Adam Lambert fled the hospital.
Somehow, he ended up on the roof. Having no recollection of how kind of scared him, but he was definately on the roof. The thoughts that swirled in his glittery head had slowed somewhat, but the one question still remained. Why? Why someone so young, so vivacious, so kind, so loving. Why someone with so much to offer, with so much left to do and see?
Adam had always felt comfortable on the roof. Back home in San Diego, he spent much of his time on the roof of his childhood theatre. Other people must have had the same idea because it had a picnic table. The roof meant peace. It was quiet, and if he was lucky there was a breeze blowing or stars to stare at if it was night time. He felt closer to the edge of the rift there, more one with the Universe than he ever did, and that included singing. Gently, he sank to his knees and gripped the edge. The rough cement felt nice between his fingers. It was the gravitational pull, the thing that kept him hanging onto reality as his thoughts ran away with him. Memories flooded. Allie's birthday, the first time he got to hear her sing. The first time she swore at him in Spanish. The first time they cried together, the first time they laughed together. The first time the words "hes my big brother" fell from her lips. The first show on tour, the last show on tour. Thier album releases, the icecream parties, the teasing, the joking, the hugging, the playing.
Adam couldnt take it anymore. Sitting on his haunches, on the roof, in the middle of the day, the larger than life rock star broke. He cried, rocking himself back and forth as he hugged his knees. Adam felt a hand on his shoulder and gasped in surprise.
"Hey" Kris' voice soothed, even with just one word. Adam couldnt say anything in response, there was nothing to say. What could a person say? He had just lost his baby sister and she wasnt even gone. How weird was that? This thought only made Adam cry harder. He turned into Kris, who was now sitting crossed legged on the cement floor of the roof, arms open and at the ready. Adam curled into his embrace and continued to suffocate in his thoughts and breaths.
Eventually he calmed down enough to talk to Kris, who had been sitting there for however long holding him, murmering nonsensical things into his hair and rubbing circles in his back as they cried together. They parted and Kris spoke first.
"She loves you, you know that right?"
"But, the one time Im there when she actually needs me and she has no idea who I am."
"She loves you"
"I know" Adam spoke quietly, softly against the breeze. "she loves you too" he offered, remembering his face when she had told him to go away.
"I know, the doctor said that was another symptom, irratability..."
Adam started to laugh. "He thinks that was Allie irratable? He should trying being the dude that has to get that girl up in the morning."
Kris chuckled, and for the first time since finding out Allie was sick, Adam felt a sense of comfort wash over him.
Arm in arm, the two men scaled the steel stairs back into the hospital.
~~~
"BUT I WANT ADAM! WHY ISNT HE HERE?!?!" Adam could hear the screaming from a mile away.
"I-I-I dont know Ms Iraheta, he was here a second ago..." A frazzled looking nurse was trying to calm her down.
Adam ran. His boots scuffed the hallway, but still he ran. One look at her face and he'd never been so frightened. Tears were streaming openly and she was howling like someone was twisting her heart around as they spun it in a blender. He stepped into the room. "Allie! Honey..." He took her in his arms, somewhat relieved that her memory had come back, if only temporarily even. It was long enough to say what he needed to say.
"Adam..." the petite firecracker sniffled in his shirt. "I was so afraid. Theyre talking surgery, what does that mean Adam? Dont leave me...dont let go." She reached up and threaded her little arms around his neck, he tightened his hold.
"Allie, I love you. You mean the world to me. Please know that...remember that when you can."
"Ok, dude." she said into his neck.
"Adam, is this thing going to kill me?"
The question hit Adam like a thousand stakes in the heart. There was nothing left now but the truth.
"Even if it does babygirl, youd never die. You have a permanent place with me, and Kris, and the world."
Kris had come over and flanked her other side, holding on tight. The circle was complete once more.
The three of them stayed that way for a long time. Eventually visiting hours were over and Kris and Adam were forced to leave the hospital. They stayed together, in the studio on the sticky leather couches. They talked about Allie all evening and into the early morning hours. Memories, future hopes, and dreams bounced between them like a ray of light. Talking allowed them a sliver of hope to hold onto. Stop talking and the sliver of hope fell through, the light went out. Like old times, Kris fell asleep while Adam babbled on, having lost his sense of cohearancy hours before.
While her brothers held onto that sliver and tried desperately to shine the light, Allie was sedated and prepped for the biopsy.