posting

[kirbyqz]

so i'm posting just for posting yes i'm posting ok go

Comments

[beckyogg]

Throughout the entire poem you're very heavy on the repetition, except for the line "friends betray our souls decay our minds relay it all go". It sounds a bit awkward. Can you make it more like the other lines?

Other than that one thing, I really rather like it. Crazy, man. Can I get some of whatever you're on?

[kirbyqz]

i like the rhythm in that line because you stop at "all" (where the "go should've been). it makes it stick out a bit more.

[nefermaat]

I like the rhyming repetition of that, actually. It's not as awkard if you read it like that.
I like it. I really do. hehe

[kirbyqz]

thankies ^_^

[angrybonsai]

you should use some other word than go in the last line. Unless you like cutting it short like that, i think that was pretty effective

[kirbyqz]

yeah, i like that it cuts short, but i used "here i (go)" twice. i changed it.