[Rifts in the Boredom of Forced Sick Leave] -- [Open]

[kirktastic]

Things had gone... interestingly the night of the party. The small memory put a smile to Kirk's face, despite his complete boredom and annoyance at still being trapped in his room. He could leave, he could walk around, but there was nothing he could do. Damn CMO's orders

Comments

[original_fine]

It would have been prudent, Jim though, to comm first.

But comming allowed for the possibility that Jim would ignore him, or refuse him, and Jim was tired of sitting around. After Kirk's message back to him--not to mention the party--Jim was fairly confidence Kirk wasn't about to lock the door to him.

It chimed as he stood outside.

[original_fine]

Jim's expression was decidedly thoughtful. No flippancy, he regarded the question seriously.

"You know," he mused, "I would have thought so. If you'd asked me before. The weirdest part, for me, has been the fact that it's much less weird than I would have expected. And I wonder what that means, only... I don't feel violated. I don't feel like he's in there, rifling through my every thought. No more than he was before, and we were good at reading each other even before this... And it should bug me, you know? But it doesn't. I think, maybe, it's that... he's been there for so long, it's almost an extension of what we were before. Not new at all. Just more... complete."

He ducked his head a little, surprised at the mini-speech.

"Sorry. I've crossed over into sappy, haven't I?"

[kirktastic]

"Nah." Kirk soothed, grinning a little, "Maybe the idea isn't as weird for you because you knew him so long. How many years was it, again?" The idea of being together, as captain and first officer, was sort of heart-warming in a strange way because Kirk just couldn't imagine having any relationship that long.

...Well, until he met Bones.

[original_fine]

Jim laughed. "Not as long as you might think," he said. "Three, four years? But things are different, out here. You'll know what I mean in a bit--you're not entirely isolated, and there are a lot of people on the ship, but relationships... There's an accelerated timeline, a sense of intensity, from being thrown together and depending on one another. Like old war stories, though maybe not quite that intense. Maybe that's why I'm so quick to form them. But Spock... I can't imagine being without him, or Bones, now."

There was more to it than that, of course. More to Jim's propensity to reach out and accept people, that had been well formed before assuming command. But it was likely a factor.

[kirktastic]

"I can't imagine being without Bones." Kirk could agree to that, pulling a knee up to his chest and wrapping his arms around it. He flexed his left hand, but the movement seemed stiff even though the hand looked fine. "Three years and some odd months I've known him... had to put all my trust in him the second time we ever met."

His smile was warm, "He's the whole reason I'm here, and maybe the Earth's even here now."

[original_fine]

Jim smiled.

"There are worse reasons," he said. "And worse people to put your trust in." He paused. "You're looking good."

Which brought them closer to a point, though the bullshitting was also pointful, as far as re-connecting went.

[kirktastic]

Kirk really didn't want to talk about this, but knew it was coming. "...Depends on the definition." He said in an uncaring tone that was anything but.

[original_fine]

"Or the scale one's measuring by," Jim clarified. "I can pretend nothing's changed, Jim, that none of this ever happened and Spock's here with me and that we never had a disagreement. Part of me wants nothing more. But most of me knows that that won't help you. We can do this later, but at some point you're going to need to be the captain again."

[kirktastic]

Kirk just gave Jim a long look, "I want to be captain again, don't get me wrong." He rubbed one hand against the back of the other. Vulcan. The faint raised lines that spoke of scars were like braille for the blind. The ships trickled up his arm, swirling together, black. The other side was the enemy before the enemy became so.

"I don't do the whole 'pretend this never happened' unless it was bad sex."

[original_fine]

Jim laughed, but it was a little strained despite his genuine amusement. "I want us to be able to talk," he said. "We're good at the... not talking. Nonverbal communication, we've got down. But you need more than that. And I think you need something your Bones and your Spock might not be giving you. Not because they lack anything, but because none of us have been in a situation like this before. And because... I guess because I want to be whatever I can for you."

He looked at Jim searchingly, remembering that dream, remembering that sense of Jim being within him, part of him. He couldn't forget that. And there was too much at stake to let them avoid subjects that might be touchy.

[kirktastic]

"....Bones and I have... a nonverbal agreement, in a lot of ways. We don't push each other to open up. Kind of a safe haven from people bothering us about things." He shrugged his shoulder. "Spock and I don't talk about that sort of stuff at all."

No, but we did... He smirked at the rest of that thought.

"What do you want to talk about, exactly?"

[original_fine]

Jim hesitated.

"That depends," he said finally. "Am I bothering you?"

[kirktastic]

"Not bothering." Kirk looked away slightly, wondering how to say it, "Just.. just the topic does."

[original_fine]

Jim shrugged. "I'm not asking you to talk about your feelings unless you want to," he said. "But the fact remains there are things going on here you need to know about. And I want... what we share to be strong enough to handle that."

He knew it was. It had to be. They were connected, in a way that wasn't his imagination.

[kirktastic]

"Then talk to me, Jim." Kirk stated bluntly, frowning a little towards his counterpart. "I can handle anything you need to throw at me. If I handle it in a way you don't agree with well... that's to be said later."

[original_fine]

That got him a little smile. "I know you can," he said. "Fine. I don't know what Spock's told you, but my Spock isn't on board. He's on the Narada. He... made a trade with her--with her sentient being, who is now partly manifest on the Enterprise."

It was blunt, but there was no easy way to say this. Jim watched Kirk's face carefully.

"Did you know?"