Radio 4/4
Title: Radio
Chapter: 4/4
Author: kiroyo
Genre: Angst, Drama, Slight Fluff
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: I own no one.
Rating: PG15
Pairing: Reita x Kai
Synopsis: The past is like a song looped on replay.
Comments: Comments make me happy, like little bits of candy :3
Despite walking out of Kai's house appearing as though he was really leaving for another destination the moment the wooden door banged shut behind him, Reita's knees gave way and he fell to the ground with an oomph. He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. Well, that hadn't gone well for sure. Kai's last line kept resonating in his head, his voice echoing off the walls of his skull loud and clear, tugging his heart strings to bits at the same time.
Kai was right. He had left him behind. But that was what brought him back too. 5 years of guilt had consumed him whole, and Reita realised he was wrong. He had made the gravest mistake of his life. He had thought he could gradually forget Kai when the band had gotten famous. He had thought Kai would subconsciously slip away from his memories when he was caught up with interviews and photo shoots one after another. But how could he when he saw Kai's radiant smile in the lens every single time he looked at a camera? How could Kai unknowingly disappear into nothing when Reita knowingly willed for it to happen despite his heart wrenching every single time he wished for it? Thus Reita gave up. He marched into the studio, declared a hiatus, turned around and exited despite the aghast faces of his band mates who couldn't comprehend what just happened. The next thing he knew, Reita was standing on Kanagawa's soil at 8am the very next day.
Meanwhile, back at the other side of the door, Kai did the exact same thing: he crumbled to the floor with a thud and let out a huge sigh, and combed his fingers through his hair. His ears perked when he heard a small noise behind him, and Kai brought his knees to his chest, knowing that the other hadn't left at all. Inching backwards to the door, Kai sat there, legs huddled up and his back against it.
"What do you want Akira." It wasn't a question. It was a statement laced with pleas for the other to leave.
"You. I want you back 'Taka. I want us back."
Kai let out a bitter laugh. "Cut the bullshit Reita. Why would you need me when you've got everything you want now? Fame, money, girls - I bet tones of them throw themselves at your feet every day. You don't need me. You need to get back to Tokyo."
And Kai stilled, when no response was hard after that. He scoffed. He applauded himself for resisting just when he was about to cave in to the other's words. Those uttered words which Kai, though ashamed, had undoubtedly been hoping to hear all this while.
"You're right. I thought that was what I wanted but I was wrong. Fame, money, girls - heck I'm not even straight to begin with. But that's not the point 'taka. Nothing's right without you. Those things carry no value 'cause you aren't there. I'm not asking you return to Tokyo with me and watch TV till I come home every night. I've came back because I would like you to forgive me. And I know what you're thinking right now: You've left me once, who says you can't do it again?"
Kai's agape mouth clamped shut, appalled at the other's verbal interpretation of his exact sentiments.
"Now it would be my turn to say you're wrong 'Taka. I've learnt it the hard way; I can never leave you behind again. If you'd forgive me, I'm more than willing to put down everything I have in Tokyo. I'll leave my band, and move back here. I'd do that for you. That's how sincere I am 'Taka. I don't know how else to show it. I'm sorry. I really am."
Reita tilted his head up and looked down the corridor through his fringe. He must have looked like a nutcase talking to thin air. But he couldn't give a fuck about how others perceived him right now. Right now, his insides were turning into goo from the silence, the lack of response that would follow after his apology. The answer that he had came back to Kanagawa for.
Instead of a familiar voice, creaking was heard and Reita jumped. When he turned around, the door was open once more, and standing before him was Kai, looking very much so like he did on the railway platform 5 years ago, except that this time, Reita knew for certain that the outcome, their outcome would be different. He took an apprehensive step forward, then another when the other didn't tell him to back off, and another, then Reita wrapped his arms around Kai's shaking form, burying his head into the crook of his neck. God, it's been too damn long.
Kai stiffened the moment Reita's skin came into contact with his. Then his whole body relaxed when the other's body moulded perfectly against his. How could that still be possible after 5 years of absence? But Kai pushed that thought away. That wasn't important now. He choked on a sob as he attempted to stop crying.
Reita circled his hand soothingly on Kai's back, hushing him to calm down and stop crying. And the two of them remained in this position, passers-by casting them strange looks as the door was still wide open.
"You don't have to leave your band 'Kira. You don't have to leave Tokyo either."
Reita pulled back. Shock written all over his features. "What? Why? You're still mad at me! I'm truly sorry 'taka! What else can I do to prove it? Please tell me."
However Kai laughed, wiping away the tears on his cheek with the back of his hand. "You got it wrong 'Kira. I've forgiven you... I think. But I don't want you to put down everything you've worked hard for and achieved. And you love music. Music is your life and passion. I can't take that away from you. If you're still the same Akira I know that is."
Reita chuckled, grinning lopsidedly at the man in front of him. He felt overwhelmed with gratefulness, and surprise at the same time, that Yutaka still knew him so well. Yet...
"'Taka I-"
"No, shut up Akira. Follow me." and Kai turned on his heels, heading towards his bedroom.
When Reita appeared at his door, Kai kneeled down and reached beneath his bed. Frowning slightly in discomfort as he retrieved stacks after stacks of items before the other man. And Reita's eyes grew wide as he saw every single single and album ever released, in all editions being laid out before him. Every magazine, posters, even tour merchandise weren't excluded as well.
After everything was taken out, Kai folded his legs and smiled. "I think I can safely announce who your biggest fan is?"
Reita couldn't respond. Instead, he opted to enter the room and sat down next to Kai, cupping his hand over his and hoped everything he was feeling was conveyed by his eyes.
"As much as I didn't want to, I listened to all of your songs, and as much as I didn't want to admit, they are really really good. So I'm telling you now Akira, I'd never allow your talent to go to waste by dumping everything there and moving back here just for me. That would just be plain stupid and too selfish of me to ask for."
His eyes blurred up. Reita sniffed as he blinked away tears that were threatening to well up and cloud his vision completely. He honestly didn't know what to say.
"Go back to Tokyo tomorrow 'Kira. Knowing you, I'm sure you left your band mates without a proper explanation or even any at all. My logical guess would be that they're worried sick for their future right now because of your impulsiveness."
At that, Reita lurched forward, surprising Kai as he tackled him to the ground, squishing him beneath as his weight as he laid above him.
"Okay. I'll go back to Tokyo. But I'll come back whenever I get the chance too. I won't be leaving you behind ever again 'Taka."
Laughing, Kai nodded against Reita's shoulder, as he secured his arms around him. "Yup, we'll meet again soon before you know it."
Reita nuzzled his nose against Kai's neck in return, taking in as much of the other's scent as he could to be etched in his memories before he leave for the train the next day. Hearing the all too familiar chuckle at his behaviour, Reita felt himself smile a genuine one in years, as he placed a small kiss on Kai's cheek, sighing in contentment as he remained there, safely locked in his embrace for just a little while longer.
A/N: Well well, after I annonced my writer's block, this came to me at 2+am.