Comments | kirsten85: Where the sidewalk ends.

kirsten85

Where the sidewalk ends.

Oct 28, 2006 15:04

Can lovers turn into friends? This is a question that I have been forced to ask myself lately. I am not talking about casual boyfriends or friends with benefits. These are connections that have more potential to become a lasting friendship. No, I am talking about the person that you date, you really connect to, you fall in love with, you in vision ( Read more... )

Comments 9

gracet1218 October 28 2006, 21:33:16 UTC

i don't believe it's possible.

gracet1218 October 28 2006, 21:33:33 UTC

(not for me, anyway)

kirsten85 October 28 2006, 22:31:24 UTC

i'm starting to agree with you more and more...

area_woman October 28 2006, 23:01:55 UTC

The more I hope it's possible, the more I believe that it isn't. I think the hurt would be too much.

nicesweater October 29 2006, 04:12:59 UTC

I personally don't think it's possible. I think the "strength" required to make such a move is really the strength to convince yourself of something unreasonable. The passionate, soulful connection you mentioned is dependant on a physical and ideological exchange between lovers that, once discontinued, makes all other exchanges--those made by friends, for example--illegitimate. An attempt to be friends after such a relationship is an attempt to, not forget about, but to disestablish that which has already been established, and this isn't possible, in my opinion, because such an establishment stays established constantly--even after the break-up--for reasons beyond my understanding ( ... )

nicesweater October 29 2006, 04:23:03 UTC

Yeah sorry got kinda carried away.

aya_lynn October 30 2006, 01:15:10 UTC

Wow. You're incredible.

kirsten85 October 30 2006, 17:19:38 UTC

I think that I have reached the same conclusion as everyone else in the history of the world on this topic, which is it's not possible. And even if it were possible it seems like a denial of an unbelievably strong and passionate connection. But I have also started to see that my connection to some of my past lovers (or one in particular) was like a drug, an addiction. I see him I get a high, I od on his presence, I cut myself off for "my own good" and then I go through with drawl and have to see him again.
This is why I swore I would never take cocain, I cannot control my addictions. (That's why I smoke, why I drink, why I can't stop thinking about/being around certain people...)And it is entirely unhealty.

colderthanhell October 31 2006, 17:38:02 UTC

im a half and half on this.. i think for the most part, people break up for a reason, something happens that causes a connection on the deepest level to be broken. And with the severing of that connection breaks others in the process. Its why in alot of break ups its not healthy to see the other person if your heart has been broken, no matter how much you want to see them, you shouldnt because it will only prolong the pain and hurt. I was lucky enough in my last relationship (as shitty as it was) to not ahve to see her any more, and i still avoid her up in EC, now that situation is far from what you have because of many probs with my ex... but thats besides the point. I think it is possible though, if you give a long separation, and if the break up happens in the right way you can still have a good friendship. Now you may ask "what is the right way to break up?" when in fact there is no right way in particular. It just happens, and the way you both deal with it, is what determines the ending. Funny story.. me and mal (AZ girl) ( ... )