First chapter I'm proud of. XD
I wanted to post it since I'm proud of it. :D I think it came out really well.
I ran around the large waiting room, holding a small cloth between my teeth. I had a CSX train in my hand as I flapped my arms and made odd noises. It happened to be one of many ways for me to release any energy I felt.
I was a verbal teenager who lacked the ability to express myself. My brain was wired differently, making my world separate from the one around me. People stared at me as I pranced about, unsure of what to make of my behavior.
“Alexia, please come sit down beside me.” mom replied while giving a sigh.
“I can't...” I frowned after taking the cloth from my mouth.
We were waiting for me to be called by the psychiatrist. I figured he was running late, explaining why the place was so full today. There were other therapists and psychiatrists they were waiting for, but I knew mine was late.
There was a lot going on in the waiting room. People were chattering to each other, magazine pages flipped, feet shuffled all around me. These were noises that caused me to sit on the floor, plug my ears and rock myself.
*Mmmm* I would hum monotonously, trying to block out all of these sounds.
It was hard to filter everything, and I felt they were getting louder and louder. The noises pounded and echoed in my mind, increasing more as loud as I became. I started to whimper until suddenly I started to scream.
This caught their attention, noticing this once happy carefree child turn into a terrible mess. Tears streamed down my eyes as panic and anxiety became higher and higher. Everything around me continued to escalate as if they went back to their conversations.
I realized then that people were talking about me. My screams created a ruckus in the waiting room, causing me to finally go numb. I continued screaming and sobbing from the noisy surroundings around me.
“*Everything will be okay, Alexia*.” a calm voice said, trying to break through the overstimulation around me.
As soon as she placed that pacifier in my mouth, everything went calm. I stopped focusing less on the noise and more on sucking the object in my mouth. I rocked slowly back and forth, humming monotonously until things finally settled.
The psychiatrist finally called my name, finally following my mother as we went onto his office. There was a gentle feeling about this middle-aged man from the way he smiled. I wasn't intimidated by him as he looked at me and mom.
“Your daughter has a condition called Autism. However, she is on the high-functioning scale. Her brain is wired differently which causes her to live in a different world than ours.” he explained as mom nodded. “I'm going to set you up with a case manager to discuss things to help her.” he told her with a smile.
I stayed quiet as I sucked my pacifier while rocking back and forth in the chair beside his desk. There wasn't much for me to say, considering everything I wanted to say didn't quite make it to my mouth.
The psychiatrist rolled us out and made an appointment for us. I hadn't really paid much attention. Mom kept an eye on me as she made sure I didn't take off.
We headed out to the car as I took the pacifier from my mouth. I buckled in as she pulled out of the parking lot. It was amazing how well she took my diagnosis.
“I have to go pick your sister up at daycare. Will you be okay in the car by yourself?” she asked me as we drove towards the daycare center.
“Yeah.” I replied rather flatly.
I wasn't sure what to say to her other than that. I sighed as she pulled into the parking lot, leaving me on my own. Fiona was my foot year old sister, who hadn't started preschool yet. That wouldn't be until next school year.
I rocked back and forth while minding my own business. Mom finally came out with little Fiona, trotting beside her. Fiona was adorably sweet and always really calm, unlike the monster body I was trapped in.
Mom placed Fiona into her car seat, making sure she was fastened securely. We headed home, hoping for a nicely cooked meal. I started chewing in my cloth again as I rocked back and forth.
We finally got home as I ran inside before them, only having to wait for her to unlock the front door. I waited patiently as I paced back and forth. She came up the steps before unlocking the door, letting me and Fiona run inside.
I sat there on my bedroom floor, without saying much to mom or Fiona. My body started rocking again, causing me to move back and forth slowly. I did this a lot so I called calm my body from anything happening around me; big or small.
“Alexia, what do you want to have for dinner?” mom asked me as she peeked into my room.
“I don't know.” I answered her, without looking at her face.
“I was going to make chicken, rice and corn, is that okay?” she looked at me while smiling.
“I don't like vegetables.” I continued rocking back and forth.
“You still have to eat them just like your little sister.” she told me with a sigh.
I didn't say anything back in response to her, just sitting there rocking over and over. Mom smiled again as she left my room to tell Fiona what we were going to have. I never liked looking at faces, seeing as I ok in more faces all of the time.
It was always so overloading sometimes, so I never looked at them and avoided their eyes. Most people had no idea why I did this all the time. It was hard for them to understand anything in my world, making things harder for me.
What do you think? :3
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