"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be."
- Shel Silverstein
We should really listen to Shel, the way we should listen to Carlin and Hicks and other folks who point out self- ( Read more... )

For the longest time, I wanted to have hope.  I wanted to sling wispy filaments from my heart toward people and things and future scenes and to feel the urgency of yearning.  I thought that was what I needed to keep moving.  I thought that was what I needed to reboot my life and my dreams ( Read more... )

I'm not sure what to think of the idea of "finding yourself."

I know about the opposite end: losing yourself.  I've been there and done that, though I didn't realize it for a good, long time.  It happens as many things do, in minuscule stages and brief decisions that seem to do no harm.  It unfolds like the journey to hell, with the best of ( Read more... )

I bought a brand-new copy of The Annotated Lolita after I was done with the library's copy, because I knew I could not live without it.  (Some books are as much a part of you as your eyes or your arms; they reflect and they hold you in ways that you must have on hand.)

But what I really wanted was that first copy, the one with the roughened pages ( Read more... )

I have found a great explanation of what my life has felt like since 2008 in House of Leaves by Mark Danielewski, my latest acquisition from the library:

"This much I'm certain of: it doesn't happen immediately. You'll finish [the book] and that will be that, until a moment will come, maybe in a month, maybe a year, maybe even several years. You'll ( Read more... )

An anniversary is a landmark you make on the calendars of the world; maybe the first major change you get to make, and certainly one of the most important.  It might not be printed regularly on the calendars given free at a local store, the way that the major holidays are, but you will write it in for as many years as you can, and others will ( Read more... )

I just dreamt that I was in my grandparent's bedroom in Victorville and that I was trying to use an old mirror to look at myself.  The glass had detached from the attractive and lightly tarnished silver backing, so I was trying to hold it together clumsily - so much so that I couldn't even see myself in it.  My grandpa looked over and told me to be ( Read more... )

I've been reading a lot of relationship and dating articles lately, and not just because I am now a part of the grand circus/meat market. I have become genuinely fascinated with the tone and types of musings that are circulating in the ether. It seems that advice has spilled over from the pages of Cosmo across countless blogs and news sites, and ( Read more... )

I went to my first group through meetup.com tonight, rushing from work and making it some thirty to forty minutes past the listed time.  I couldn't get anyone to tell me how long the meetings tended to last so I wasn't sure what to expect when I got there, but it didn't matter.  I was going to give it a try.

Folks were still there, sitting in a ( Read more... )

Sometimes I feel the sting of missing you and wish that I didn't have to miss you any more.  And then I feel horrified at the thought of not missing you at all.