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Mar 14, 2016 08:20

I've gone round the bend. See below for completely and totally silly fluff.

Rating/Warnings: G, none
Characters: Team (minus Thor because I have no clue how to write Thor)
Notes: Did I mention round the bend? Also, there's an actual May the 4th fic with Clint, Natasha, and lighsabers. It's awesome.



Bruce gathers them all in the main room at Tony's request, but it takes a while before the man himself appears to explain why. By the time he does, they're all pretty impatient, including Steve.

Natasha, as usual, is the first to demand, "Why are we all here, Stark?"

"Yeah, what could possibly be so important?" Clint grumbles. "I was in the middle of fletching new arrows."

"We all have things we could be doing," Steve agrees.

Tony claps his hands together and proudly announces, "I've brought you all here because tomorrow is March 14th. And I've decided that as a team building exercise we're all going to celebrate Pi Day!"

"Technically, Steve is Team Captain and should be in charge of any team building exercises," Bruce tries to interject, but Tony just steamrolls right over him.

"Pshaw! The Cap wouldn't have any idea what to do with Pi Day."

Natasha rolls her eyes, Clint does a poor job of hiding his laughter, and Steve just looks confused. "What is Pi Day?"

"See?" Tony says to Bruce. Then he turns to Steve. "You know, Pi Day? Like Mole Day or May the 4th."

"Hey! That's a reference I get," Steve announces proudly. Tony is about to make what is sure to be a scathing comment about his lack of cultural knowledge when Natasha suddenly looks all too interested in the conversation.

"Hey, what ever happened to those lightsabers you planned on making last year?" she asks.

"Yeah," Clint chimes in. "What did happen with them? I never got to prove that I could beat Nat in a fight with them."

"Ha! Like you could actually beat me. I'd split you in two."

"No way! I'd disarm you first…" And they're off and running while Steve still looks confused.

Bruce, as usual, is the calm one, who quietly explains, "March 14th is called Pi Day because of mathematical pi, which I'm sure you know is commonly shortened to 3.14. Some people," and with this he looks pointedly at Tony, "Celebrate with actual pie. The kind you eat."

"Oh." He's not sure if he's excited or disappointed by this revelation.

The two assassins are still bickering and Bruce's face is starting to get a pinched look, so Steve tries to get the conversation back on track.

"What did you have in mind to celebrate?" he asks Tony.

"Pie!" he says, as if it isn't entirely obvious. "We're each going to make and bring a pie, then we'll share them."

"What kind?"

"Whatever kind you want. It's a day of pie. All kinds of pie!"

"I'm in for apple," Steve agrees. "And would it be ok if I asked Maria? She makes a delicious chocolate silk pie."

"Hill? You want to invite Hill?" Tony complains, but when Steve starts to get that hang-dog, hurt look on his face, he relents. "Fine, but she has to bring two pies. Because she's Hill."

Steve's about to protest when Natasha breaks in, sounding bored despite looking very interested. "I'll bring tart cherry."

"Of course you will," Tony says dryly.

"Does it have to be pie?" Clint asks.

"It's Pi Day. Of course it has to be pie!"

"But what about, like, quiche? That's sort of a savory pie."

Tony raises a brow. "Quiche? You're telling me you know how to make quiche?"

"Actually," Natasha butts in, "Clint's makes fantastic quiche. He's like magic in the kitchen when you hand him a carton of eggs and some milk."

"Huh. Never would've thought it," Tony muses. "Ok, fine. Birdman, you can make quiche."

"Hmm… I wonder what flavor I should make?" He starts naming a few and as a glazed, annoyed look starts to settle on Tony's face, he relents and huffs, "Fine. I'll make your standard Quiche Lorraine."

"Excellent. Big guy?" Tony asks, turning to Bruce.

"I'm not really… cooking isn't… can I just bring one from the store?" Bruce finally asks.

Tony waves away his concern. "Nah, don't worry about it. Besides, Hill's gonna bring two pies. We'll co-opt one for you."

"Hey!" Steve complains, but by then everyone's lost interest and are heading off in different directions. He's left standing alone in the room wondering what the hell just happened and how on earth Pi Day became a thing.

Other things of note:
* We went to a hockey game today and omg, will there ever be a time I hear Monarchs and think lions (correct mascot!) and not butterflies (the incorrect one!)?
** There were no smash-em-ups and that made me sad, but my brain started composing AU Hockey fic.
*** AU HOCKEY FIC! What the hell is my brain thinking?!
**** I think if I do it, I need a proper beta and no more seat of my pants like I've been doing. This sucks. I hate not having a beta and having to find one. I wonder if I could get EllaBelle to do it on a one off?
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