i swear to God, its the true low.

i am unbelieveably truely fully not real anymore.

i feel everything, it stabs into my stomach a thousand times with every word spoke and it will keep stabbing. no matter what. its there, itll never leave.

im not happy. being happy, i fear, is something i will never fully feel.

that is horrifying

highlights of the day: getting sixty-two dollars back after returning my math book and buying my history book. fucking score.

downfall of the day: my window in my room broke, shattered actually. good thing it only shattered on the inside panel, not both inside and out. im already cold enough.

<3

best part of today? definitely dropping my math class and taking an online course for free instead. heck yes. added another class into the time slot of the dropped math class: History since 1898. woo-fucking-hoo ( Read more... )

i dont really know what i want to type. i just thought that getting my fingers and brain working before i go to bed tonight might make me not think about being alone for the night. its not workingi have decided that i hate thinking, and that i hate that i think so much. i ponder over too many things too much and i cant stop. i think i need to find ( Read more... )

so, i started classes back up today. to my surprise, i enjoyed my first two classes and didnt have to worry much about being ignored in my classes. not that i would have been in my developmental psychology class since i have brittany in there and she never sttops talking. [[longest sentence ever ( Read more... )

Sometimes, when I'm listening to music, when I listen to Brand New, I feel like I could scream. I feel like my skin's coming right off me or something. I feel like a whole bunch of bones. It's like some music's got a direct line to my insides, and when I hear it, I go crazy all over, crazy and turned-on and hysterical and so different from the way ( Read more... )

Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines ( Read more... )

i dont know.

clearly, im upset. which is usually why i write in this.

im not even going to get into it. its too fucking dumb.

so, i havent updated in a really long time. probably because im not mad at the world or sad. well, im pissy but honestly, its the story of my life ( Read more... )

I used to be such a burning example,
I used to be so original.
I used to care, I was being careful.
Made sure I showed it to those that I love.im so sick of you. i cant stand you, every fucking class with you is making me sick to my stomach. i want you to just get away from me, forever. i could care less if you died tonight, i wouldnt be the least ( Read more... )