This has a lot of mistakes and errors but whatever, fuck off.
1. Post 10 things you would like to say to 10 different people, that you would never be able to say to their faces.
2. Do not post their names, or ask anyone to guess who is who. This is simply to vent.
3. Commenters, if you think that you are on this list, do not say anything.
1. You are so special to me. It has been over a year since you were here. There is not a day that passes that I do not think of you. Someone once told me that when someone dies, they don't die, they are still in your heart. But, even though you are still and forever in my heart, this cliche can't seem to do me justice. You are not here. It's not fair. I can not see you. It's not fair. I can not smell the old cologne. It's not fair.I can not come to terms with the fact that you aren't ever coming back. I think I'm okay, now. I just miss you. I hope you know this already though.
2. I've never met you and I'm not sure you exist. I want you to exist. I hope you are real. I am so afraid that this is all we've got, this life. When I think about you, I think about the possibility that you are not real, and that the life you have promised after this one is not real, and then I think that I am wasting my life away. I want to believe, I'm just not sure.
3. I am trying to forget every beautiful thing that you have said. I do not deserve you. I will never be more in love with anyone. Never. I hate that ever since I've met you, I've searched for a part of you in everyone else. You are always on my mind. "I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you." You're still my everything. I hope you miss me as much as I miss you. I know you won't believe this, but I literally get an ache when I think about you. I avoid this feeling by sleeping a lot, now.
4. _____, if you died, I would end my life. I love you so much even though I'm dissappointing to you sometimes. Perhaps all of the time, but please believe me when I say my intentions are good. I miss when you used to sing that sappy Rod Stewart song to me. It made me fall asleep. I feel fucking alone in bed, at night, now.
5. I know you are in a better place now, but I'm sorry that I didn't stay that day. I drew you an angel, and you wanted me to leave the hospital because you thought it would make me sad. But I wasn't sad, I was happy. I wanted to see you. That made me happy. We left. And then you were gone. I couldn't cry. I am sorry that I couldn't cry.
6. I wish you would stop worrying about who I should be and appreciate who I am. I know I'm a good person. I wish you would realize it, too. I will never forgive you for hurting us.
7. I look up to you. I wish you were home more. I'm sorry I'm such an ass sometimes. You are such a strong person, and I wish I was as strong as you. I love you so much.
8. I miss hanging out. We used to be best friends. You are an amazing person.
9. Stop being rude. My mother does not appreciate going out of her way to support you and then have you be bitchy. Grow up. I do not care if you are older than her.
10. You are such an amazing person. I love your family. Your dad chases me with his ninja swords sometimes. It scares me. It scares me a lot. Fuck now I am going to have nightmares.
I don't want to be bipolar but high school is so fucking depressing. Everyone changes so much, it's fucking unbelievable. I thinkt hat for the most part that we are all the same but we are just trying to fit in, we are trying to mold into people that we aren't but wish we could be. It's like making a bar of soap. You melt the glycerine and then once it's been dyed, carved, and shaped, the final product is bought. It's like we are coming here to this new big place with more freedom, and then we let people mold who we are, and we learn our lessons, or maybe we don't, and the end product is someone totally different. I don't know. I probably make no sense right now, fuck you. I miss being able to talk to the people that I could count on to be there. Now they aren't there anymore. I don't open up to people easily. In fact, I find it hard to express myself when I want to the most. I've always been this way. That's why I write to express my feelings. It's so hard for me to open up. And although I never told many people everything about me and my life, and just everything, I liked knowing that they would be there. Maybe that makes me a bad person. I don't know. I just wish that my friends wouldn't make such dumb choices sometimes. It's just not them. I know them. Or maybe I don't. I wish I did still.
Sorry that this was emo and stupid. I just needed to say some things.