Sometimes it hurts when I look you in the eyes. I can see the disappointment welling up and pouring from your soul. I wish you'd never met me, just for your sake. You still take me in your arms like you care. You still kiss my forehead like you love[d] me. I know you don't. It's ok baby. I promise. You don't have to pretend anymore. I've gotten ( Read more... )

"My heart tends to break in my own hands. Here, you can have it. Promise me you'll keep it safe ( Read more... )

I wish I couldn't dream. That would be great. I wouldn't be missing out on anything. For the first time in about 2 months I woke up crying late last night. I was happy at first, that I got to see her smile one more time, but knowing that I wont be seeing it on Christmas is killing me. I thought I was over this, but I guess maybe I'm not. I couldn't ( Read more... )

So today was pretty cool. Last night Lindsey stayed the night and that was a BlAsT. Lindsey fell asleep at like 12 but I stayed up on the phone until about 3 with John. It was pretty depressing. His cousin died the night before last and he didn't find out until yesterday and the only person he would talk to was me. He said he knew I would ( Read more... )

So this is definately the 2nd night in a row that I have been with someone who tRuLy LoVeS Me! (Shavon and Lindsey.. ha.) *Dearly not queerly..* But.. anywho.. My christmas tree is fake. It's perfectly fake. I made lindsey eat a green olive and she almost threw up.. haha. And then my dog ran into the kitchen and made a sliding stop into the door ( Read more... )

I just read Lindsey's journal and realized that nothing ever does go according to planned. It either goes terribly wrong, or changes for the better. And sometimes just when you think its going down hill, it sky-rockets. Maybe that's what I'm hoping for. That this was just our minds playing tricks and it's about to get even better than before. I' ( Read more... )

I don't know what anything is anymore.

Forget about me and everything we've said to eachother. It would be better that way.

Something's gotta give!

I think Mr. Right took a wrong turn somewhere...

maybe I'm completely wrong. Maybe I've just had a bad time lately and he's not helping...

It was perfect, perfectly wrong.

The worst is over now, and I'm going to need you.

So you finally communicate with me, but how do I tell you that you're just too late? How do I say I've given up? There's someone else and I'm sorry. No, I'm not sorry, because if you could have just stuck with me through all of this, we'd be together. *maybe* I used to think about you so much. I used to talk about you almost as much as I thought ( Read more... )

"Kissie, what are you going to do if you don't feel anything?"

I guess I'll just slip away gradually.

If this is how things are supposed to be.. then they will be. Once a-freakin-gain, I'm confused about life in general. I'm confused about the way my heart breaks at the little things he says. I'm afraid to look in the mirror because I know ( Read more... )