It is too gorgeous out to be stuck in front of this computer

[kissesbutterfly]

I wish I cared. About something, anything. I am a self-centered person. I don't think it is a bad thing really, but sometimes I wish I cared more about the bigger picture. I am just not interested in politics, human rights, activism, that sort of thing. Not that I disagree with it. I do have opinions about these things, I just don't feel like I have the knowledge to express my thoughts. If I don't know why I think something is ok or not ok then I can't begin to explain to another person so I just don't do or say anything. So many people at school have such strong opinions about things I never really considered before or if I did then I can't explain why I feel a certain way about the issue. I think this is apparent in my contemporary issues in photo class. When we start talking about larger issues in our society I have nothing to say. Most of the time I don't even have a clue what they are talking about. I know that I am an intelligent person, but I feel really dumb sometimes. I hate watching the news or reading those sections in the paper. But I know that many people feel that this is actually contributing to the problems in our society, that if you care you have to take action and do something about it. I really do care and maybe some day I will educate myself better and do something. But for now volunteering for Vera and eating organic (most of the time) are really the best I can do. Baby steps.

I didn't get the full tuition scholarship for Prague, but I am still going to go. I need to get a loan from the bank. Travel $1300 + Tuition $3200 + Room & Board $600 + spending $?? - scholarship $500 = +/-$4,600.00. That is more than I paid for my car. I hate being in debt. I wish I hadn't been such a dumb ass with my money over the past year and had actually saved some towards this since I have known about it since what, last summer? Too late now.