Have you ever had the sensation of looking at someone for the first time and ever so quickly the past and future seem to fuse ? Does that not mean something ? That we felt so much, so deeply, before even speaking?

Charles Dickens

more and more i get the feeling that i am digging my own grave. im miserable, ill admit it. my beacon of light is very dim. all i want is reassurance and ill i get is headache. i ask for too much, i know. i guess i need compensation. im very numbed.

im tired of not feeling good enough. i know so much of this has nothing to do with me, but i cant help thinking... "what if i was good enough?"

Ojalá que las hojas no te toquen el cuerpo cuando caigan ( Read more... )

so a very large part of my world came crashing down yesterday. Hence the fever and the aching head. I do not want to think that the life I lived was a lie, but that is the only conclusion I could come to. I have lost quite a lot, my dignity, my faith, my pride... but what upsets me the most is that I have lost someone i love immensely.

there is just too much out there.

see every comedy show you've ever been to ends with a big joke, because thats what you need:
I end with a big joke, you laugh, i say "goodnight" and thats how its supposed to be, but that aint life my friend. And if you learn anything from me, learn one thing that sometimes...
sometimes...

wtf?

"People like Aoki don't scare me... No, what really scares me is how easily, how uncritically, people will believe the crap that slime like Aoki deal out. How these Aoki types produce nothing themselves, don't have any idea in the world, and talk so nice, how this slime can sway gullible types to any opinion and get them to perform on cue, as a ( Read more... )

classes started today, these journal entries are starting to get ridiculous. i think i'll stop them for a little while. so here is where i am at this point:

things are good.