Zoran - Chapter 1/?

[kissmepurple]

 

Comments

[faerie_writer]

You know, you have quite a nice way with description. The only thing really missing is some conflict to hook the reader. Urien needs to *want* something and he needs conflict (either emotional or active) in getting what he wants, then I think the scene would really come together. :)

[kissmepurple]

Thanks a lot for the feedback. I see what you mean. It is kind of bland. :/
I'll definitely work on that.

[antoxakoba]

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