I KNOW YOU'RE REALLY NO GOOD -- PG
[title] I Know You’re Really No Good
[author] kissontheneck
[pairing] Eleventh Doctor/Doctor Brian Cox
[rating] PG
[word count] ~2200
[summary] The Dr. has a complicated relationship with the Doctor. Written in petite vignettes.
[disclaimer] Surely, I have nothing to do with either of these fine men, no matter how much I wish I did.
[author's notes] For sara84’s birthday; inspired by the Science of Doctor Who special. (Since I’m sure any reader who isn’t Sara might not be familiar with Dr. Brian Cox, this is a great way to discover him and all his grand adorableness.) Lyrics from David Cook’s “Laying Me Low”.
~*~
So bring the gasoline and we can start this show.
~*~
He arrived on the radiant beams of a solar flare, blinding and with all the energy of the known universe. Blending in was easy what with his tweed jacket complete with elbow patches, fitted waistcoat, and bright red bow tie. No, not so unusual for a physics and astronomy conference at all.
Brian remembers their first meeting like it was yesterday. Maybe it was yesterday - or even tomorrow. But the place was in a corridor between exhibit halls C and D on the way to a panel about new technology and the Fermi paradox. One of his fellows introduced them.
“… and this is Dr. Brian Cox, professor of particle physics at University of Manchester and Royal Society Fellow.”
A twinkle danced in tweed-jacket-man’s eye a split second before he seized Brian’s hand, warm and electrified, shaking it enthusiastically.
“Dr. Cox, yes. So lovely to meet you.” The man beamed radiantly. “I’m the Doctor.”
Brian hesitated. He’d missed the man’s name apparently.
“I’m sorry, Doctor Who?”
“Let’s not get lost down that path just now, Coxy.”
Brian was too startled and drawn by the Doctor’s vibrance to respond properly, and the latter leapt to another topic of conversation anyway. Leapt being a very accurate word for this fellow seeing how his immense energy bubbled out all over, taking the form of hands waving about and feet skipping from one foot to the other and back again. He talked circles around the Fermi paradox, whipping both scientific fact and fiction to and fro until he arrived - if his increase in toe-tapping meant anything - to his favorite topic of all: time travel.
Ah, so he was a time travel nut. There was always one.
Brian’s watch beeped and the Doctor stopped dead in his tracks as if the offending sound had purposefully interrupted him.
“Time for the panel to begin,” Brian explained, nodding toward Hall D.
“Well, we’ve got ten minutes, Brian,” his colleague pointed out.
“I set my watch early,” he said. “I hate to be late.”
“Always on time,” the Doctor said, smiling. “I do like a man who respects time.”
For one mysterious moment, their eyes locked and all of time stood still.
~*~
I can't begin to think of all the trouble you keep getting me in.
~*~
Only the sounds of feet pounding the pavement echoed in Brian’s ears. He’d never run so far or so hard in his life, and if it weren’t for the fact that a gargantuan reptile-like creature was hot on his tail he’d have collapsed on the spot, allowing his lungs to explode and end him. But the Doctor was just there ahead of him, long coattails flapping as he shouted wildly about all sorts of things that made no sense whatsoever.
“Just a bit further, Brian! The Tardis is just ahead!”
“How is it that that thing can travel through time and space but not leap to us in dire times of need?”
But as usual the Doctor either didn’t hear or didn’t care what his companion was saying. He merely flung himself at the big blue police box and rattled the handle violently. Locked.
“Come on, open up for daddy!”
Brian, misjudging his timing, about crashed into both the box and the troublesome Time Lord.
“Are you kidding me?” he gasped, fighting for oxygen as the roars of the flying reptile echoed ever closer. He bent over and grasped his knees. “Since when is the Tardis locked?”
“Usually only when she’s jealous,” the Doctor answered dismissively as he rustled around in his coat pockets. “Now what’d I do with that key?”
Brian’s eyes shot up, disbelieving. “You lost the key?!”
“Might have dropped it when we had to jump the chasm back there,” he said, only just starting to sound a bit worried. “Come on, old girl, let us in. It’s just us.” He leaned his cheek against one of the door panels.
“What are you doing?” Brian demanded. “Kick that old box into shape!”
The Doctor looked scandalized. “Brian, watch your mouth! You’ll only make her more angry.” He began petting one corner and mumbling something under his breath.
A crash so loud and terrifying that it shook the ground let them know the creature had caught up with them, just now making the last corner.
“Get out of the way!” Brian shouted and he lunged towards the Tardis, ready to shoulder hard against the door. A millisecond before he hit it, it swung open, causing him to fall hard on the floor of the control room.
“That a girl!” he could hear the Doctor exclaim as he leapt over Brian’s crumpled body. “Always follows through.”
“Blasted thing,” Brian grumbled as he struggled to get up. He glanced outside just as the monster was zeroing in on them. “Doctor…” he said tremulously.
And like that, everything disappeared in a blur, just as the reptile creature leapt at them.
The Doctor beamed at him.
“I told you I’d take you on an adventure, Coxy.”
Brian rubbed his shoulder and narrowed his brow.
“Indeed you did,” he replied sourly.
“What next? One more go before tea, whatta ya say?”
Brian could only sigh and shake his head.
~*~
You keep running while I keep on doing time.
~*~
The tea kettle whistled like a freight train coming through town, desperately trying to win the attention of nearby citizens. But Brian was lost in an avalanche of physics papers that needed grading before Monday when the university would require final marks for all students. It took another minute before he even heard the bellowing kettle.
“All right, all right,” he mumbled, getting up to silence it at last. “Have some patience.”
After removing the water from the stove, Brian prepped his teacup - earl gray, two sugars, a tiny bit of cream. Just as he was returning to the table there was a knock on the door.
“Blimey, if someone isn’t dying in the street…” he mumbled. “I’ve got a lot of work to do.”
Halfway to the front door he realized he could ignore it, except that just then the visitor knocked again incessantly.
“Okay, okay, what’s with all the urgency today?” He flung the door open and froze instantly.
“I do hope the kettle’s still hot, Coxy. I daresay I took a couple more minutes than I intended.”
Brian could’ve been knocked over with a feather.
“It’s hot,” he replied tight-lipped. It seemed like an awfully casual greeting considering the circumstances. “I’ve just poured a cup myself.”
“Excellent!” the Doctor exclaimed, pushing past Brian as was his way. “I told you I’d be back in the blink of an eye, didn’t I? Hope you kept my cup out.”
A silent anger kept Brian from saying a word as he followed his old adventuring companion into the kitchen.
“Was it raining when I left?” the Doctor asked as Brian dropped a teabag into another cup. “I don’t remember it raining.”
“I don’t recall,” Brian lied, pouring the hot water now. But he did remember. He remembered every single detail of that day, that moment. There had been a crisp spring sun, actually. The smell of fresh plants and the sounds of new birds had permeated the earth that day. But today it was cold. Cold and wet and dreary. Fitting, it seemed.
“That’s not my cup,” the Doctor observed, his brow narrowed. “And… why is the kitchen green now, Coxy? This makes no sense.”
Brian sighed and unceremoniously handed over the cup. “Your cup got broken just before I painted the kitchen,” he said bitterly.
The Doctor took the offered cup mindlessly. He was now staring intently at Brian’s face.
“Coxy, you’ve started to go gray just there,” he observed slowly. “Just… at the front. Why haven’t I noticed before?”
“Because,” Brian answered, exasperated and feeling more like grading papers now instead of having this conversation. “It’s been ten years.”
“Blimey! Say it isn’t so! I left for two minutes!”
Brian gave a sideways glance at the Doctor.
“If you don’t mind,” he said gravely, “I have a lot of work to do.”
“Coxy…” the Doctor whimpered. He gripped his mug in what had to be the saddest manner possible. “I… I’m sorry.”
“Please stop calling me that,” Brian said, settling back down at the table and taking up his red pen. “I don’t…” He stared at the name on the first essay in his pile, but the words only blurred before him. “Please go away,” he said at last.
“But Coxy…”
“Please!” Brian replied loudly. “Can’t you imagine how it feels? Can’t you? To be told to wait two minutes and you wait two days, two weeks - two years!”
“I didn’t know,” the Doctor replied humbly.
“Well, I did,” Brian muttered. “Maybe Time Lords can wait indefinitely, but human beings cannot.” He paused to take a breath before continuing. “Can you please leave me to my work for now? Unlike you, it’s not going anywhere.”
The Doctor let his cup down softly on the kitchen table and turned without a word. Brian couldn’t help catching a glance of him as he sulked out of the kitchen, head hung low in front of him.
Brian almost felt badly.
Almost.
~*~
Now I know I'm never gonna win this game… but I play anyway.
~*~
Five weeks had passed since the return of the Doctor. Not that Brian was counting. Especially since now he had a lecture to give at the Royal Institute and had spent most of the last weeks preparing for it.
Seizing his notecards, he quitted the office he’d been allowed to use on the Institute campus, heading down the deserted hall which would eventually lead him to the auditorium next door. At the end of the second corridor a silhouette filled the passageway, a tall, lanky body leaning against the corner. Once Brian had closed the gap to a mere meter away the man finally spoke.
“Want to come away to the stars with me, Coxy?”
Regardless of how tempting the words sounded - for the thousands of reasons “yes” would make so much sense - Brian knew how he must answer.
“I’m giving a lecture in five minutes.”
“I’ve seen it,” the Doctor replied. “It’s brilliant.”
“But I haven’t given it yet,” Brian answered, emotionless.
“Coxy -” the Doctor breathed, a tone of disappointment ringing in his voice as he gazed towards the floor. “Honestly.”
“Yes, honestly,” Brian said firmly, stepping purposefully around the long legs jutting out into the hall. “I have a lecture in… four minutes now. Excuse me.”
Turning his back to the Doctor, Brian thought maybe he’d finally won a match against this man as he managed to get to the other end of the hall and place a hand on the heavy door leading out into the brisk late fall air.
“Christmas, 1860.”
Brian paused, hand still on the door, but peered back over his shoulder into the shadows.
“That’s not fair.”
“Is it?” the Doctor asked, exuding the tiniest sliver of uncharacteristic bitterness. “Isn’t it where you’ve always wanted to go?”
“But you’ve never taken me,” Brian recalled. “Every time you asked, that would be my answer - you never took me. You always said later.”
“I can take you now,” the Doctor offered softly, now standing up straight and smoothing his jacket lapels. “I promise I’ll take you now.”
That ever-present twinge of temptation tickled Brian’s heart; at last he could see that great scientist of the 19th century, Michael Faraday, give his final Christmas lecture at the Royal Institute. But the Doctor wasn’t being fair. In fact, Brian realized, he was using this amazing opportunity as a lure - a way to whisk him away yet again on another death-defying adventure.
“Right now I have a lecture,” Brian repeated, this time more to remind himself than anything else.
“It’ll take two minutes,” the Doctor said, familiar energy creeping back into his person. “Promise.”
“I remember the last time you told me that.”
The Doctor grinned through the half-light of the hall.
“The Tardis had a malfunction and got lost in space that time, Coxy,” he explained. “Not my fault at all.” He shoved his hands into his pocket and whipped his hair out of his eyes. “But we’re at the Institute right now! It’s just timey-wimey this time and not so wibbly-wobbly. Won’t take any effort at all.”
Brian sighed and glanced at his watch. Two minutes until he was due at the lecture hall.
“One minute,” he finally bargained.
The Doctor about exploded out of his bow tie.
“You won’t believe it,” he said, now rushing forward to grip Brian’s arm. “Faraday’s observations about light are incredible, you’ll truly be blown away. Seen it about five times myself, to be honest.”
Brian wanted to ask when these five times had been. Had they been while he’d known him? In between their adventures together? Or in another lifetime altogether? Either way, why hadn’t he taken him if he was fond enough of Faraday to see the same lecture five times? But he couldn’t be bothered to ask any questions one way or the other now. No, now he found himself being enthusiastically pushed through a creaky, blue wooden door with a police emblem painted on it. Now was a time full of more urgency than any other now that had ever been.
And just as the cranking wuh-wuh-wuh of the Tardis filled the air, the clanging of the Institute’s bell tower signaled 8:00 precisely to a crowded lecture hall eagerly awaiting a lecturer who would never come.
~*~
I'll never understand and it shows.
~*~
And now, an accompanying fanvid:
[author] kissontheneck
[pairing] Eleventh Doctor/Doctor Brian Cox
[rating] PG
[word count] ~2200
[summary] The Dr. has a complicated relationship with the Doctor. Written in petite vignettes.
[disclaimer] Surely, I have nothing to do with either of these fine men, no matter how much I wish I did.
[author's notes] For sara84’s birthday; inspired by the Science of Doctor Who special. (Since I’m sure any reader who isn’t Sara might not be familiar with Dr. Brian Cox, this is a great way to discover him and all his grand adorableness.) Lyrics from David Cook’s “Laying Me Low”.
~*~
So bring the gasoline and we can start this show.
~*~
He arrived on the radiant beams of a solar flare, blinding and with all the energy of the known universe. Blending in was easy what with his tweed jacket complete with elbow patches, fitted waistcoat, and bright red bow tie. No, not so unusual for a physics and astronomy conference at all.
Brian remembers their first meeting like it was yesterday. Maybe it was yesterday - or even tomorrow. But the place was in a corridor between exhibit halls C and D on the way to a panel about new technology and the Fermi paradox. One of his fellows introduced them.
“… and this is Dr. Brian Cox, professor of particle physics at University of Manchester and Royal Society Fellow.”
A twinkle danced in tweed-jacket-man’s eye a split second before he seized Brian’s hand, warm and electrified, shaking it enthusiastically.
“Dr. Cox, yes. So lovely to meet you.” The man beamed radiantly. “I’m the Doctor.”
Brian hesitated. He’d missed the man’s name apparently.
“I’m sorry, Doctor Who?”
“Let’s not get lost down that path just now, Coxy.”
Brian was too startled and drawn by the Doctor’s vibrance to respond properly, and the latter leapt to another topic of conversation anyway. Leapt being a very accurate word for this fellow seeing how his immense energy bubbled out all over, taking the form of hands waving about and feet skipping from one foot to the other and back again. He talked circles around the Fermi paradox, whipping both scientific fact and fiction to and fro until he arrived - if his increase in toe-tapping meant anything - to his favorite topic of all: time travel.
Ah, so he was a time travel nut. There was always one.
Brian’s watch beeped and the Doctor stopped dead in his tracks as if the offending sound had purposefully interrupted him.
“Time for the panel to begin,” Brian explained, nodding toward Hall D.
“Well, we’ve got ten minutes, Brian,” his colleague pointed out.
“I set my watch early,” he said. “I hate to be late.”
“Always on time,” the Doctor said, smiling. “I do like a man who respects time.”
For one mysterious moment, their eyes locked and all of time stood still.
~*~
I can't begin to think of all the trouble you keep getting me in.
~*~
Only the sounds of feet pounding the pavement echoed in Brian’s ears. He’d never run so far or so hard in his life, and if it weren’t for the fact that a gargantuan reptile-like creature was hot on his tail he’d have collapsed on the spot, allowing his lungs to explode and end him. But the Doctor was just there ahead of him, long coattails flapping as he shouted wildly about all sorts of things that made no sense whatsoever.
“Just a bit further, Brian! The Tardis is just ahead!”
“How is it that that thing can travel through time and space but not leap to us in dire times of need?”
But as usual the Doctor either didn’t hear or didn’t care what his companion was saying. He merely flung himself at the big blue police box and rattled the handle violently. Locked.
“Come on, open up for daddy!”
Brian, misjudging his timing, about crashed into both the box and the troublesome Time Lord.
“Are you kidding me?” he gasped, fighting for oxygen as the roars of the flying reptile echoed ever closer. He bent over and grasped his knees. “Since when is the Tardis locked?”
“Usually only when she’s jealous,” the Doctor answered dismissively as he rustled around in his coat pockets. “Now what’d I do with that key?”
Brian’s eyes shot up, disbelieving. “You lost the key?!”
“Might have dropped it when we had to jump the chasm back there,” he said, only just starting to sound a bit worried. “Come on, old girl, let us in. It’s just us.” He leaned his cheek against one of the door panels.
“What are you doing?” Brian demanded. “Kick that old box into shape!”
The Doctor looked scandalized. “Brian, watch your mouth! You’ll only make her more angry.” He began petting one corner and mumbling something under his breath.
A crash so loud and terrifying that it shook the ground let them know the creature had caught up with them, just now making the last corner.
“Get out of the way!” Brian shouted and he lunged towards the Tardis, ready to shoulder hard against the door. A millisecond before he hit it, it swung open, causing him to fall hard on the floor of the control room.
“That a girl!” he could hear the Doctor exclaim as he leapt over Brian’s crumpled body. “Always follows through.”
“Blasted thing,” Brian grumbled as he struggled to get up. He glanced outside just as the monster was zeroing in on them. “Doctor…” he said tremulously.
And like that, everything disappeared in a blur, just as the reptile creature leapt at them.
The Doctor beamed at him.
“I told you I’d take you on an adventure, Coxy.”
Brian rubbed his shoulder and narrowed his brow.
“Indeed you did,” he replied sourly.
“What next? One more go before tea, whatta ya say?”
Brian could only sigh and shake his head.
~*~
You keep running while I keep on doing time.
~*~
The tea kettle whistled like a freight train coming through town, desperately trying to win the attention of nearby citizens. But Brian was lost in an avalanche of physics papers that needed grading before Monday when the university would require final marks for all students. It took another minute before he even heard the bellowing kettle.
“All right, all right,” he mumbled, getting up to silence it at last. “Have some patience.”
After removing the water from the stove, Brian prepped his teacup - earl gray, two sugars, a tiny bit of cream. Just as he was returning to the table there was a knock on the door.
“Blimey, if someone isn’t dying in the street…” he mumbled. “I’ve got a lot of work to do.”
Halfway to the front door he realized he could ignore it, except that just then the visitor knocked again incessantly.
“Okay, okay, what’s with all the urgency today?” He flung the door open and froze instantly.
“I do hope the kettle’s still hot, Coxy. I daresay I took a couple more minutes than I intended.”
Brian could’ve been knocked over with a feather.
“It’s hot,” he replied tight-lipped. It seemed like an awfully casual greeting considering the circumstances. “I’ve just poured a cup myself.”
“Excellent!” the Doctor exclaimed, pushing past Brian as was his way. “I told you I’d be back in the blink of an eye, didn’t I? Hope you kept my cup out.”
A silent anger kept Brian from saying a word as he followed his old adventuring companion into the kitchen.
“Was it raining when I left?” the Doctor asked as Brian dropped a teabag into another cup. “I don’t remember it raining.”
“I don’t recall,” Brian lied, pouring the hot water now. But he did remember. He remembered every single detail of that day, that moment. There had been a crisp spring sun, actually. The smell of fresh plants and the sounds of new birds had permeated the earth that day. But today it was cold. Cold and wet and dreary. Fitting, it seemed.
“That’s not my cup,” the Doctor observed, his brow narrowed. “And… why is the kitchen green now, Coxy? This makes no sense.”
Brian sighed and unceremoniously handed over the cup. “Your cup got broken just before I painted the kitchen,” he said bitterly.
The Doctor took the offered cup mindlessly. He was now staring intently at Brian’s face.
“Coxy, you’ve started to go gray just there,” he observed slowly. “Just… at the front. Why haven’t I noticed before?”
“Because,” Brian answered, exasperated and feeling more like grading papers now instead of having this conversation. “It’s been ten years.”
“Blimey! Say it isn’t so! I left for two minutes!”
Brian gave a sideways glance at the Doctor.
“If you don’t mind,” he said gravely, “I have a lot of work to do.”
“Coxy…” the Doctor whimpered. He gripped his mug in what had to be the saddest manner possible. “I… I’m sorry.”
“Please stop calling me that,” Brian said, settling back down at the table and taking up his red pen. “I don’t…” He stared at the name on the first essay in his pile, but the words only blurred before him. “Please go away,” he said at last.
“But Coxy…”
“Please!” Brian replied loudly. “Can’t you imagine how it feels? Can’t you? To be told to wait two minutes and you wait two days, two weeks - two years!”
“I didn’t know,” the Doctor replied humbly.
“Well, I did,” Brian muttered. “Maybe Time Lords can wait indefinitely, but human beings cannot.” He paused to take a breath before continuing. “Can you please leave me to my work for now? Unlike you, it’s not going anywhere.”
The Doctor let his cup down softly on the kitchen table and turned without a word. Brian couldn’t help catching a glance of him as he sulked out of the kitchen, head hung low in front of him.
Brian almost felt badly.
Almost.
~*~
Now I know I'm never gonna win this game… but I play anyway.
~*~
Five weeks had passed since the return of the Doctor. Not that Brian was counting. Especially since now he had a lecture to give at the Royal Institute and had spent most of the last weeks preparing for it.
Seizing his notecards, he quitted the office he’d been allowed to use on the Institute campus, heading down the deserted hall which would eventually lead him to the auditorium next door. At the end of the second corridor a silhouette filled the passageway, a tall, lanky body leaning against the corner. Once Brian had closed the gap to a mere meter away the man finally spoke.
“Want to come away to the stars with me, Coxy?”
Regardless of how tempting the words sounded - for the thousands of reasons “yes” would make so much sense - Brian knew how he must answer.
“I’m giving a lecture in five minutes.”
“I’ve seen it,” the Doctor replied. “It’s brilliant.”
“But I haven’t given it yet,” Brian answered, emotionless.
“Coxy -” the Doctor breathed, a tone of disappointment ringing in his voice as he gazed towards the floor. “Honestly.”
“Yes, honestly,” Brian said firmly, stepping purposefully around the long legs jutting out into the hall. “I have a lecture in… four minutes now. Excuse me.”
Turning his back to the Doctor, Brian thought maybe he’d finally won a match against this man as he managed to get to the other end of the hall and place a hand on the heavy door leading out into the brisk late fall air.
“Christmas, 1860.”
Brian paused, hand still on the door, but peered back over his shoulder into the shadows.
“That’s not fair.”
“Is it?” the Doctor asked, exuding the tiniest sliver of uncharacteristic bitterness. “Isn’t it where you’ve always wanted to go?”
“But you’ve never taken me,” Brian recalled. “Every time you asked, that would be my answer - you never took me. You always said later.”
“I can take you now,” the Doctor offered softly, now standing up straight and smoothing his jacket lapels. “I promise I’ll take you now.”
That ever-present twinge of temptation tickled Brian’s heart; at last he could see that great scientist of the 19th century, Michael Faraday, give his final Christmas lecture at the Royal Institute. But the Doctor wasn’t being fair. In fact, Brian realized, he was using this amazing opportunity as a lure - a way to whisk him away yet again on another death-defying adventure.
“Right now I have a lecture,” Brian repeated, this time more to remind himself than anything else.
“It’ll take two minutes,” the Doctor said, familiar energy creeping back into his person. “Promise.”
“I remember the last time you told me that.”
The Doctor grinned through the half-light of the hall.
“The Tardis had a malfunction and got lost in space that time, Coxy,” he explained. “Not my fault at all.” He shoved his hands into his pocket and whipped his hair out of his eyes. “But we’re at the Institute right now! It’s just timey-wimey this time and not so wibbly-wobbly. Won’t take any effort at all.”
Brian sighed and glanced at his watch. Two minutes until he was due at the lecture hall.
“One minute,” he finally bargained.
The Doctor about exploded out of his bow tie.
“You won’t believe it,” he said, now rushing forward to grip Brian’s arm. “Faraday’s observations about light are incredible, you’ll truly be blown away. Seen it about five times myself, to be honest.”
Brian wanted to ask when these five times had been. Had they been while he’d known him? In between their adventures together? Or in another lifetime altogether? Either way, why hadn’t he taken him if he was fond enough of Faraday to see the same lecture five times? But he couldn’t be bothered to ask any questions one way or the other now. No, now he found himself being enthusiastically pushed through a creaky, blue wooden door with a police emblem painted on it. Now was a time full of more urgency than any other now that had ever been.
And just as the cranking wuh-wuh-wuh of the Tardis filled the air, the clanging of the Institute’s bell tower signaled 8:00 precisely to a crowded lecture hall eagerly awaiting a lecturer who would never come.
~*~
I'll never understand and it shows.
~*~
And now, an accompanying fanvid:
Click to view