(no subject)
I feel as though I should apologize to Mizuki. I'm not sure, though, whether it would help or hurt matters. I wouldn't be apologizing for my words, after all, or anything I said that day. But the manner in which I said it... Perhaps I was too harsh.
I'm conflicted, though. Apologizing...might give him the wrong idea. If I felt confident that I could make it clear to him that I wasn't taking back the words, that I was then, and on some level still am, angered by his behavior...but that I also acted too rashly in scolding him like I did. He deserved to be scolded...but I may have been too rough. But the idea is difficult enough for me to write clearly; trying to explain it to him might just muddle things, instead of make them clearer.
All of that aside, however...
I miss Mizuki. I miss having him around, being able to tease him about things --and no, not just sex-related things. I miss him in a way...that I don't think I've ever missed someone before.
I think Riku misses him too, in her own way. Or at least, if not for her own sake, then perhaps for mine. It's been happening a lot, that I catch myself staring off into nowhere...and when I come back, more often than not I find her looking at me and frowning. It's like she knows I've not quite been myself lately...and she's not happy about it. She tries, bless her little heart, to cheer me up...but it only works so well.
Hurry up and sort things out, Mizuki. Then hurry up and come back.