Lonely and Fat

[kitideboo]

 I feel sad, a lot of the girls I used to chat to have gone..I don't know if they are just busy, or are on other sites, but I miss them..anyway I am feeling like a bloat, and want to sort it out, so back to the gym, back to protein shakes and heavy restricting..I 'll let you all know how I get on with things over the week..I am also going to start

Comments

[anonymous]

sweetie, I pray that someday you will learn that health is all you've got

[kitideboo]

I have tried to like myself as I am, and I don't.

I have tried to eat "normally" and I can't.

I want to be thin and I need to be thin.

I know that my health is important, believe me I do know, but I can't get myself to suddenly just be normal..its not that easy..if it was none of us would be here and none of us would be seeking support away from those "normal" people who judge us. Of course I realise that I am tied to food, but I am not irresponsible, I am not stupid, I CAN'T HELP IT. It's the way I am, and i'm not doing it for other people, its for ME. Something for ME. I NEED IT. I NEED TO BE THIN. I love my life I just want to be thin, thats all, its not much but I am allowed to want it and to try and attain it. I appreciate ur "concern", but I have done good in the world, I am a good person, and I'm not missing out.

[kitideboo]

I hope you don't mind but Iloved ur LJ layout that I had a look and changed mine..I hated what I have and I adore this one..yeah some of the thinspo pics are a bit hard, although I did find one which is funny if you can see past the depth of sadness in the image..I will try and post it..I'm not good at this stuff, also I don't know if LJ will permit it as it is quite shocking..what are ur stats? x

[kitideboo]

have a look..I just worked out how to post it..thanks for not minding..I wouldn't normally do that but I LOVE IT!!!