Morning rambling
Normally it's the dogs or my bladder that wakes me at the crack of noon. Today, however, was an exception. Don't misunderstand me, I still got up to alleviate the bladders of the dogs and myself, but did that while still half asleep. No, today the beacon of light that pierced through the veil of my dreams was a reflection on the tarot reading my mother gave me the other night. One of the pressing issues revealed in the aforementioned reading was my pattern of looking to my past to justify my future. I have to say, I was pretty confuddled when she said that at the time, but I think I have a better understanding... See, just before I decided I was actually awake this morning I was having a bizarre dream wherein some of the best and worst moments of my romantic life were running through my mind. The sad realization was that most of the good times were from high school... The happy realization came from that moment of clarity only twilight sleep can offer. Mom was right. My past if no reason to justify my future. Yeah, I've been walked on and the crap break up I had over a year ago has probably been a large contributer towards my opinion that I'm unwanted, undesirable, and in all ways just can't get laid. The bottom line is that my dead romantic life is my own fault. ...Well... ...Not 100% my fault... But I'm guilty of some stuff. Namely, as my ever-so-wise-and-learnéd sis pointed out, I can't be dependent on other people. If I want to be able to pick someone up, I can't be all desperate and "Is something wrong?!"-ish! I gotta be calm... Cool... ^.~ Dapper. Also, bathing more than on a "as needed" basis might help... >.> .... <.< .... What? ...I lived in a van and was raised by a hippy... I feel justified. *ahem* ANyway... [Typo left in at the request of my sister] Yeah. I mean, I know I'm damaged goods, but that's no reason to let myself keep feeling like this. So I'm thinking some soul searching is in order... Hell, man! I'm a bassist! I should be getting numbers left and right!
...Hmm... Also my constant staying at home and not going out might have something to do with it.... *shrug* Time will tell.
In the job department I'm kinda screwed... I was doing counter work up at the pizzeria, but boss-lady didn't put me back on the schedule and I still haven't gotten paid for last week. So I'm thinking I dun work there no more... >.<* This wouldn't be so badwere it not for my car being in the shop... Here's the Catch 22. To keep paying for it [if it's not totaled] I need a job. ...It would be a FUCK OF A LOT EASIER TO GET A JOB IF I COULD FUCKING DRIVE TO THEM!!! *deep breath* But it's cool... The Universe will deliver a solution... Work will be there for me. It will be so. ..........................Otherwise I'm getting in touch wih my Columbian friends....
Thank you for partaking of my morning jumble. Have a good day.
In other news, I fucking love this song!