[FIC] Equation Philosophy
The dark texture of Sakurai-sensei’s wooden desk was filled with miniature grooves. Aiba used these to scrape off the silence with his mechanical pencil, scribbling to the sound of his sensei’s fingers drumming over the desk. Aiba cowered as a heavy sigh escaped Sakurai-sensei’s plump lips. His other hand covertly dug into the sides suppressing his nervousness as his knees grazed against the hard surface. He gulped.
It was clearly not covert enough for Sakurai-sensei. “Aiba-kun,” Sakurai-sensei sighed with such exasperation. “This is exactly the same equation as I taught you before this question. But you never seem to get it right.”
Aiba ducked his head lower as he glanced at Sakurai-sensei’s gentle look, but his eyes were electric black. He was obviously trying to hold back what seemed troubling to him. “Do I have to go through it all over again, Aiba-kun?” Sakurai-sensei’s voice sounded low and disappointed, briefly indicating his patience meter.
Aiba squirmed. “I... I’m sorry, sensei.”
“It’s not your apologies I need.” Sakurai-sensei adjusted his papers as Aiba stilled at the scowling face. “There’s no meaning in it if you don’t try to understand.” It was a common knowledge between the students that Sakurai-sensei wasn’t a splenetic teacher, and Aiba wasn’t sure if he was pleased to have the privilege to be the only one witnessing the rare side of his sensei.
Aiba felt the desk creak when his sensei propped his elbow adding half his weight on, looking reproachfully towards Aiba. Aiba bit his lip, eyes scanning over the papers once again, and digging a few lost memories that were just saved a few minutes ago.
“So? You know it doesn’t hurt trying it again and it’s better than your silence that would do nothing to the ticking clock,” Sakurai-sensei raised his eyebrows. And Aiba was once again surprised at how firm his sensei was facing the situation. Gripping on his mechanical pencil again, Aiba devoured what seemed forever to him, engulfing himself deeper in the silence. He shut his eyes, leaning his head forward so his hair fell, shielding him from the piercing gaze of his Math teacher.
“Let’s go through this again,” Sakurai-sensei’s sigh was desperate. Reaching for his pen again, he gently tugged on Aiba’s notebook. “And this time, please pay better attention so you can start doing the questions yourself.” Sakurai-sensei started to underline a few keywords from the paper and scribbled.
Aiba didn’t answer, inwardly cursing those who invented the thing called differential equations and swore he would kill that person whoever that is even if he was already dead. He might just curse the deities souls all of them named mathematicians. Math just wasn't Aiba’s favorite. He couldn't begin to explain how many headaches those classes gave him and how many strenuous hours it took him to finally understand that one problem on page sixty-seven and the many more that came along. Oftentimes he would give up and just scribble down an irrational response. It’s not any different than this time. Only that, this time, Sakurai-sensei was here to make sure he got everything right - well, not quite reaching any steps from there anyway. A perfect special class for a low Math scorer like him - no, actually, it’s only him. Aiba barely contained the urge to roll his eyes at the thought.
“Aiba-kun, are you even listening?” Sakurai-sensei’s voice was deep and Aiba was sure there was a hint of disappointment. Slowly Sakurai-sensei dropped his pen on the wooden desk and folded his arms watching his student intensely. “You’re not interested, aren’t you?” Sakurai-sensei’s eyebrows rose.
“I’m sorry I made you upset, sensei,” Aiba leaned his head forward so his hair falls, shielding him from the piercing gaze of his Math teacher.
There’s a short pause from Sakurai-sensei as if he was thinking about something very important before he let out a heavy sigh. Aiba wasn’t sure how many times he had challenged his teacher’s patience as he had already lost count of Sakurai-sensei’s sighs for the hour. “For you to find something beautiful, you must first be certain of what makes up this idea of beauty, Aiba-kun,” Sakurai-sensei ground up on the desk, resting his mind as well as his emotions. Aiba slowly locked his gaze with Sakurai-sensei, finally paying a bit of interest because his sensei was talking about beauty instead of the stupid complicated mathematical equations.
“Beauty is that which delights the mind,” Sakurai-sensei continued, realizing he had caught Aiba’s attention after the whole special class day.
“How could that relate with Math?” Aiba asked perplexed.
Sakurai-sensei smiled after he was sure the younger was definitely into this. “One of the most beautiful and lovely creations of the human mind is a well-solved higher mathematical question, especially when solved by yourself. The joy of discovery is ever-present, allowing you to delight in the very solving of the equations,” he continued.
“You think so?” Aiba tilted his head, not really getting what his sensei had said.
“You should try once to find out,” Sakurai-sensei reassured him as he picked up Aiba’s mechanical pencil and shoved it at his student. Reluctantly, Aiba reached for it, scanning the next question, but was puzzled yet again. Sakurai-sensei laughed.
“Try this one,” Sakurai-sensei flipped some pages back as he pointed at a trigonometric question instead. Aiba started to scribble as his mind led him to arrive to the solution. Sakurai-sensei watched intensely at every corner, every path Aiba decided to take. Sakurai-sensei knew trigonometry was Aiba’s specialty, he’s just not good when it comes to difficult equations, since he hadn’t yet mastered the algebra concept. But teaching a simple a+b=c is not as simple as it sounded.
“Okay, I got this. But it has nothing to do with beauty,” Aiba said as he ticked his answer.
“Actually, Aiba-kun, the conventional connotation of beauty, when it is something created by humans, it tends to be that it should be unique and creative,” Sakurai-sensei slowly shook his head in disagreement. “Mathematics has its own creative component, which comes often in how you arrive to the solution. Even if the solution is the same for everyone, there are virtually always several, distinct ways to come about with an answer,” Sakurai-sensei paused to think for a while before scribbling down his own solution just beside Aiba’s previous handwriting. Much to Aiba’s chagrin, it was completely different from his own, but it turned to be the same answer in the end.
“Your answer wasn’t wrong, don’t look too depressed,” Sakurai-sensei smiled knowingly. “The beauty of a mathematical proof often comes mostly in the satisfaction of discovery anyway. But this pretty much explained what I said,”
For a few seconds, Aiba was mesmerized at how much his sensei was capable to make the long monotonous hours so lively. Returning the smile, Aiba turned the page back to his original exercise. His eyes were sparkling at the similarities of the algebraic components. It wasn’t an instant solution of course. In fact, it took relatively twice longer time than other students took to answer the question. But Sakurai-sensei didn’t mind to wait. Even if it takes forever, as long as Aiba was able to improve, he’d be more than happy to oblige.
“Well?”
“Do you have other solutions for this, sensei?” it seems like Aiba enjoyed the beauty of discovery as Sakurai-sensei had taught him and Sakurai-sensei complied. For once, Aiba looked like a little kid who had just discovered an interesting toy.
The long hours continued and Sakurai-sensei was grateful that he didn’t give up on Aiba. It was worth his hours as he watched his student’s exciting gaze. “You can finally quit this special class after this evening, Aiba-kun.” Sakurai-sensei’s chuckles were rich and Aiba scowled under their low thrum.
“You don’t want to teach me anymore?” Aiba asked in mock discontent, eyes pointed, taking in the image of something all too vivid at those plump lips of his gorgeous young sensei.
“I will never tire of teaching you,” Sakurai-sensei shook his head, feathering chuckles. “And of course you still have to continue this class until you score well on the next examination which I’ll make sure you won’t disappoint me,” steely words punctuated by a reproachful look but still woven by a gentle expression. It had always been the trait that made Sakurai-sensei loved more than the others.
Aiba expelled various creative mimics, not failing to make his sensei laugh. “Tell you what, sensei,” Aiba said as he quietly decided he really liked this particular sensei. “I can keep failing just to get some private time with you, since you won’t get tired of me anyway.” The quiet late afternoon sun streaked against their faces.
“This won’t do. I don’t even know what to do with you,” Sakurai-sensei sighed. “How about we just trade? Don’t fail the next test and I’ll give you classes for other subjects in return.” Aiba’s face was adorned with a delighted grin.
“I’ll compromise,” Aiba agreed, “And you’re right, sensei. Beauty is delight, and nothing could delight me, personally, more than the discovery of you,”
~The End~