(no subject)
Last time on Death Foxes! We saw the end of Mt. Moon!! And now we march forth, to Cerulean City and beyond! This is a LONG one, guys.
I... was a little mad. Y I MAD? So lots of horrible things are said. Vulgar, hideous, horrible things.
I can only wonder how intense this stare-down is.
Holy shit this sounds intense!
If only foxes had fists.
Okay, I've totally had dogs fucking kick me. This is plausible.
But it's not meant to be.
Oh cool, if I mess up someone's moveset I can re-teach them roar. That's sort of useful.
After Mt. Moon, my pokemon are kind of dying for a treatment.
And after the quick rest, I take a moment to stare... and observe. Kyo is coming. I can feel it. And I know the script. Shh.
S'up.
Hey go fox yourself.
...Are you saying my pokemon are stupid? Go fox yourself, asshole.
You fucking know what I have, Kyo.
...Why... does he only have five slots? I am confuse. BUT FOUR POKEMON, I CAN TAKE HIM.
...Fuck okay maybe not.
AKSDHHB THAT IS BALLS. I promptly roared it away.
Now this is just an easy one.
GO BURNINATOR, GO! Sadly, that crit is the best he can do.
Luckily, Gage's defense is pretty STUPID GOOD.
Up until this. FUCK.
Come on Tango, save me...! AVENGE GAGE!
AVENGE HIM! BWAHAHAHAH. And next came rattata, but I decided to give Tango a break and send out Sarah.
Who was 1HKO'd.
THAT GODDAMN RATTATA. THAT RATTATA... IS TRULY THE TOP PERCENTAGE. BUT IT ONLY HAS ONE HP LEFT. SASHIDE, YOU MUST MURDER IT!
MOTHERFUCKER
I find that more often than not, I fall back on using Tango. The one with the most abysmal stats has been proving the most reliable. She took out rattata no problem, and again, charmander was coming out so I decided to give Tango a break.
...Fuck, this is going to SUCK. (Why didn't that thing evolve...?)
NO FUCKING WAY
THAT'S SO FUCKING DOUCHEY. THAT'S LIKE PISSING ON MY BED AND THEN SIGHING IN CONTENTMENT.
Son of a bitch!!
ONCE AGAIN. Tango, can you do it...???
Holy crap Tango did a number on that fucker before she went down.
LAST CHANCE, SILVIE. WE'RE COUNTING ON YOU.
AHJSBDAHBJD
And thus, my first loss. First of many, knowing how crap I am at playing pokemon.
Holy shit, that's actually a really sad mental image. I'M SORRY FOR FAILING YOU GUYS.
It's time to train!
So I can take on this fucker again.
...And this is where a humongous chunk of my screencaps disappeared. I'm not sure if I forgot to upload them before clearing them out, or if photobucket fucked with me, or if they're just... hideously out of order. I don't know where they are. I guarantee you I completely destroyed Kyo this time around, though. And all you missed was Kyo being... kind of adorably tsundere.
And here's where it picked up again! Me beating the shit out of these kids.
It was a contest?
Holy shit that's awesome!
OH BY THE WAY I JUST HAPPEN TO BE RECRUITING PEOPLE BY TRYING TO BUY THEM WITH MONEY AND PRAISE.
What a whiny little bitch.
SHIT FUCK I'M TRYING TO AVOID RAPING PEOPLE, I DON'T NEED TO GET RAPED--
...Turns out I ended up turning the tables and raping him instead.
God this is just dirtier and more horrible the more it goes on.
...
You know, when I first played this game way back when I was nine, I used to be super confused. I thought 'feat' was a misspelling of 'feet'. It never made sense until I played FRLG.
FINALLY, A USEFUL ONE. This is Attract, btw. But who to use it on... eh, save it for later.
...Oh fucknt. I thought I could avoid these fucking rock types until the tunnel.
/Insert joke about being a slut here
Oh that explains the poor blood flow.
But no seriously these guys beat the shit out of me pretty good. So it's time to install that TM.
Tango has proved reliable! So we're giving it to her. Congratulations, your YANDERE learned ATTRACT!
Hopefully that's what I get out of this. (Spoilers: KP has a growing eager ladyboner in the wait for Bill)
GODDAMNIT.
Sounds fun. Sadly, that means I missed it...
...Great.
Baby I will show you what a WOMAN can do to you.
That's right you do.
I seem to have finally adopted my slutty nature.
Oh god please no, can I avoid this...
\o/
--WHAT THE FUCK, FLINT? What are you doing all the way here in Kanto? What happened to that Ronald McDonald hair?? And... you have a girlfriend?
Or is Flint just a common name. (I like my idea better.)
I taught her something awesome. I bet she will.
I could avoid him.. but I decide not to.
I wanted to test out Attract. And boy... did I ever teach it to the right vulpix.
I've got a part of vulpix, don't yack at me about cute pokemon.
Fuck you, my vulpixes are twenty time cuter than your goddamn oddish.
...Okay it's hard to compete with clefairy, but shh.
...Uh... huh. Sounds pretty desperate to me.
FUCK thanks for making me feel ALONE. I'll just go talk to Bill. Maybe he'll come outside with me~
...omg Bill clefairy... s-s-s-so cute......
And that is the sound of KP having a fangasm.
D-don't mistake me! The look is "shit I can't bang you like this"
This is amazingly not tragic for the subject matter. And I wonder... if Kyo was here first, did he not actually notice Bill as a pokemon? It didn't take me that long to get here. He couldn't have messed himself up in five minutes...
WHATEVER MAN. Press the button...
...for KP to have a heart attack.
Naw baby, came to see you.
If it's not a smooch I don't want it.
...OMG are you taking me on a cruise
I DO WANT THIS
F...fu... I don't wanna go. ;A;
But I must press on, so I left (begrudgingly) and started to head for Vermillion.
...Why aren't you investigating? He's in the back yard. I can SEE HIM.
No wonder Team Rocket is a force to be reckoned with - they have no fear of the police because the police are USELESS.
But holy shit, he really did fuck this place up.
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
I want dis. Sorry sir you are never seeing this TM again.
No wonder the police were fooled. What a subtle grunt!
HAH! I can thrash this pathetic fool. Two pokemon, one of them a machop? I SCOFF.
...Ugh, this will be annoying.
Bring it, fucker.
HOLY FUCKBALLS
FUCK. Silvie, you better finish it!
...SILVIE YOU FUCKING FAIL.
And as usual, Tango deals the finishing blow and steals everyone's EXP. But this pitiful Drowzee will rue the day it challenged Tango.
Tango really is perfect for this. Her success rate is amazing with this move and pokemon just... LOVE her.
They love the yandere so much that they can put up only minimal resistance to her violence.
BWAHAHAHAH
That's right you will. BUT GIVE ME THAT TM OR I WILL END YOU.
EXCELLENT. That's right you better run.
And as promised, Sashide is the one that will learn dig. Hopefully this is not wasted... Sashide has yet to prove her worth in the party. :|a She'll be invaluable against Surge, but that's a long ways away...
Oh sweet, underground tunnel. Time for free stuff.
Heheheh.
I know, it's hard to feed my foxes their daily dose of superiority.
Bring more later.
Oh hoh hoh... what were you two up to~?
FUCK I SHOULD'VE MINDED MY OWN BUSINESS.
I also should've tried to avoid further fights since many of my foxes were limping after that last one, but this kid... I remember. He has a butterfree. Which tango happily devoured.
It's both, kid. It's both. Not for lack of trying, of course...
I DIDN'T WANT TO. LEAVE ME ALONE.
I let my vulpixes eat the kill.
NO I DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE LET ME GET TO THE POKEMON CENTER.
fuck no, don't ever
Dude, I WISH I could love something as much as this guy loves fishing. That's some beautiful passion right there. I love this NPC.
I highly doubt that.
Eh, why not.
...I don't like where this is going.
Yes, thank you for apologizing to me for spending three hours explaining how to shove a horse dick in my ass.
...It's just another excuse for you to ride off on that rapidash to some place where no one is watching, huh.
FEAROW TOO? KAHBSD. And you said you have over 100 of these goddamn things...!?!?!?
I am getting out of here.
I love that I have to flash the ticket as if I were doing a drug deal or something.
And this is where I conclude for today. Next time, I'll be very sure not to lose any of my screencaps...