No one can give you the Pandora's box hon. It's already in you and you have to be willing to open it up. I think, after reading this, I'm really mad at you. And not because you 'think' you've failed. But because you've LET them destroy you. I'm going to be blunt, and if I get yelled at fine. Stop whining and do something about it. You know what you need to do. Do it. No 'but I'm not good enough' or 'I'll fail'. You will with that attitude. Just do it.
None of us have really come so terribly far since high school. I think what's more important is that you are happy. And it doesn't sound like you are very happy. Maybe think about what course of action would make you most happy (of course while also sustaining yourself somehow).
You're right. I'm not happy. I am absolutely miserable and its hard to come out of that when it looks like there's no end in sight. And honestly, the only thing I care about right now is getting a job where I can afford to have my own place. I can work on other stuff later.
my degree isn't worth anything either. but now that it seems like you have admitted to all these feelings and accepted them you can change things. it's going to be so hard that it's nearly impossible. but things can get better. believe me, no one knows hopelessness better than me. but don't give up. i've suggested this before, but i will again. find someone whose job it is to help people like you. i'm sure you can find some free counseling for your credit and so forth. give up what isn't essential and just keep going. and understand that things will probably get worse first. the economy sucks and you might have to live with someone you'd rather not. but you only really fail if you stop trying. i've met women who just got out of prison for crackwhoring and they didn't give up. believe me, life is really shitty. but we have to live it because the alternative is just too scary.
You know, I, for one, am actually really glad you wrote this. It makes me feel as if I understand your relationship with her much better, and therefore, as if I can understand a part of you better. I think you already know I'm going to say this, but 1) I agree with deathangelgw and drasticbarbie. Look for someone who can help you manage the credit thing, and "just do" the rest, and 2) I'll try to help as much as I can. Love you! *hug*
どうもありがとう！ おかげさまで、元気だよ！ 愛してる、妹。 あなたがいないと寂しい。 And that's all I can do in Japanese right now. lol I wish anyone could help. My biggest problem at the moment is that I need almost $500 stat. And that is not gonna happen unless I win a mini lottery. Or suddenly find a new job that pays better. でも、がんばります！
yes, Kayla is always the voice of reason. i actually really like your sisters and your whole family. but you should realize that they haven't given you the tools to be thrifty and save. and Sommer and Kevin, while giving you lots of help, have also encouraged, or at least failed to discourage you from over-spending. so don't think you got like this on your own. everyone is a product of their environment in some way. the road to recovery is long and sucky. but you have to do the work. in the end you will be a better person for it.
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And that's all I can do in Japanese right now. lol I wish anyone could help. My biggest problem at the moment is that I need almost $500 stat. And that is not gonna happen unless I win a mini lottery. Or suddenly find a new job that pays better.
でも、がんばります！
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