fic: Jealousy part 5 (Doojoon)
Title: Jealousy (Doojoon)
Author: M_K Yujji
Rating: pg-13
Genre: humor, romance
Pairing/Characters: DooSeob, Junhyung/Hyuna, implied JunSeob
Warnings: RPS
Disclaimer: Though real people are used as characters, this fic bears no resemblance to Real Life and these people are not owned by me.
Comments/Notes: Sungsaengnim = Teacher. Teacher kind of sounded a little weird, but that could be because I've been using the Korean word pretty exclusively for the last year while I've been taking Korean classes. Sorry? ^^;;
Previous: Part 1: Yoseob, Part 2: Gikwang, Part 3: Junhyung , Part 4: Dongwoon
Summary: Finding a balance between being a leader, being a friend, and being loved can be hard.
~*~*~
It was impossible not to notice the added tension in the dance studio, but Doojoon did his best to ignore it. Whatever was going on, it would have to wait. They had new choreography to learn and as understanding as their management tended to be over the occasional delay, he’d never wanted to risk pushing that leniency.
They’d made him responsible for the success or failure of Beast the day they’d made him leader and if he sometimes wished he could have passed the responsibility to someone else, he took the job seriously. That meant he juggled the equally important priorities of both the work and personal issues of his friends as best he could within the constraints of time and circumstance that he was given.
He’d already failed once - spectacularly - by not realizing Yoseob was hurting and adding to that pain instead of trying to figure out why.
He was trying to be more aware, but the timing had been horrible.
Between their tour and the preparations for the new album, personal issues were having to take a backseat to work issues.
For once, it was proving to be too difficult, though.
Doojoon tried to focus on the dance instructor who’d been sent by Prepix to teach them the new routine, but it was hard and he kept finding his attention wandering back to where Yoseob was messing around with Junhyung whenever he thought no one was watching him. Junhyung’s own attempts to follow the choreography were half-hearted at best. He seemed torn between amusement at Yoseob’s antics and watching Dongwoon with an unreadable expression.
The maknae had been quiet since he’d gotten Doojoon’s agreement to talk after practice. If he hadn’t looked so distracted and was so pointedly staring at the floor instead of anyone else, Doojoon might have thought that he was actually paying attention. Mostly, though, he seemed to be following the feet in front of him. His arms only moved if the instructor verbalized a move.
At least Hyunseung and Gikwang seemed to be learning - better than Doojoon was, honestly. They were easily the only two members who were actually focused on what they were supposed to be doing.
Finally, the instructor called a halt to the day with a sigh and a shake of his head. “You guys are usually better than this. Take the rest of the day off. Get some rest and good food. Relax. Come back tomorrow ready to be serious about this, all right?”
“Ah… Sorry, Sungsaengnim.” Doojoon’s head dropped in shame knowing he was as guilty as the others. “I don’t know what’s wrong with us today.”
“It’s okay. Like I said, usually you’re the hardest working bunch I ever get assigned to. It won’t hurt to go easy on you once.” The man shook his finger at Doojoon in mock warning. “But don’t get used to it. If you guys don’t try your hardest tomorrow, you’ll regret it.”
The whole group waved the man out as he left, each calling out their own apology and promise to do better next time.
Doojoon sighed and ran a hand through his hair. These were the times when he most hated being the leader.
“Gikwang and Hyunseung, you guys can go. Good job today. Everyone else, stay.”
They glanced at the others with some concern, but obediently left the room. Doojoon waited until they were gone to really look at the three standing before him. Yoseob was in the middle staring at him with a defiance that was familiar, though Doojoon had seldom seen it directed at himself. It was Yoseob’s declaration that he was going to do what he wanted regardless of anyone else’s opinion and calling him out about it was going to be starting a war.
Junhyung was on Yoseob’s left, looking calm and cautious, giving nothing away. He wasn’t apologizing or making excuses - or daring Doojoon to scold him - just waiting.
Dongwoon was on Yoseob’s right, fidgeting and staring at the floor, looking like he wanted to be anywhere else in the world besides where he was.
Sighing, Doojoon shook his head. “All four of us sucked today. I say we take Sungsaengnim’s advice and get some rest. Junhyung, Yoseob… Try to pay more attention to what we’re doing and less attention to each other. When we’re here, we’re supposed to be working. If you can’t manage to keep your mind on what we’re doing, management is going to notice and they might separate you. I wouldn’t think you’d want that to happen.”
He was staring right at Yoseob as he said it, making sure the younger man knew exactly which of them he was really talking to. Yoseob looked away, his defiance wavered by the fact that he knew he was in the wrong this time.
It felt weird to be talking about the relationship openly. He’d had a week to get used to the idea and he still wasn’t sure he approved. Part of it was this very thing - Yoseob’s inability to put work first - but if he was honest, Doojoon knew the interference in their work wasn’t the whole of the issue. Junhyung was one of his oldest friends within the industry and he genuinely liked the guy, but he didn’t have the best track record with girls. For all that they teased him about it, there was truth to the joke that Junhyung wasn’t sure how many girls he’d dated. There were just too many.
And while Doojoon was sure that Junhyung was perfectly serious in the moment, he didn’t want Yoseob to get hurt when the moment passed as it inevitably would. Because Gikwang was right. Junhyung was too in love with the female form to ever do more than experiment with a guy.
And Yoseob deserved better than to be Junhyung’s - or anyone else’s - sexual experimentation.
Yoseob looked back at him, searching his face for something, before sighing and nodding. “Sorry,” he muttered. “You’re right. We don’t want to be separated so we’ll be more careful in the future.”
To his right, Dongwoon flinched slightly.
He filed the reaction away and nodded towards the door. “Good. The two of you can go.”
Yoseob nodded again as he grabbed Junhyung’s hand and made to leave. Junhyung resisted for a moment, though, looking over at Dongwoon. Dongwoon refused to look up.
Doojoon wasn’t sure what to make of the look Junhyung gave him before the rapper finally let Yoseob drag him out of the room, but he put it out of his mind for the moment and stared at Dongwoon.
“So? I assume you were distracted because of whatever you wanted to talk to me about?”
“Yeah…” Dongwoon looked up then, and Doojoon was struck by how very young and confused he looked. It wasn’t that they ever actually forgot that Dongwoon was the youngest and least experienced of them, it was just that it wasn’t often something they thought about. Jokes and goofing off aside, he often acted more like the eldest than the youngest.
He hesitated for a moment before stuffing his hands in his pockets and dropping his eyes back to the floor. “Umm.. Hyung… Hypothetically speaking… If you caught a friend cheating on another friend… what would you do?”
“Well, cheating is wrong regardless, but I guess it would depend-” It clicked then, like the tumblers of a lock all falling into place - Dongwoon’s hurried return without Junhyung and the rapper just behind him, the tension, the looks… “Junhyung…”
Dongwoon looked relieved that Doojoon had caught on so quickly. “He was with Hyuna and they were… well… There was no mistaking what was going on.” The relieved look gave way to misery. “But hyung, Yoseob looks so happy now. I don’t know what to do.”
“Son of a-” Doojoon whirled around, stalking out of the room without another word to Dongwoon.
He’d known Junhyung would hurt Yoseob. He’d known it. But he’d at least expected the man to have the decency not to string their friend along like he didn’t even matter.
The pair hadn’t made it very far. They were talking quietly when Doojoon caught up to them, their heads close together, Junhyung’s arm slung around Yoseob’s shoulders and both of Yoseob’s wrapped around Junhyung’s waist.
It was a familiar position, although it had been months since it had been his arm slung around Yoseob and his waist Yoseob was clinging to. It spoke of contentment and comfort. Trust.
All the half formed ideas of talking to Junhyung, warning Yoseob, of being in any way reasonable about the situation flew right out of Doojoon’s head.
He hissed and shook his hand out as Junhyung flopped back onto his back, holding his jaw where color was already starting to flower along the skin. “Get up, you son of a bitch.”
“Doojoon!” Yoseob was between them in an instant, shielding Junhyung from further attack and glaring at Doojoon as if everything was his fault somehow. “What the hell?!”
All Doojoon could do was shake his head and glare around Yoseob at Junhyung. Junhyung’s resigned guilt was easier than facing the anger and hurt on Yoseob’s face. “He fucking deserves a lot worse than that.”
“He does not-”
“Yoseob, he was with Hyuna.” Dongwoon’s voice was calm, but pained. He was always better in the moment after the decisions had been made than any time before. “I saw him.”
Junhyung didn’t deny the charge, sighing and closing his eyes instead.
Yoseob gaped at them for a moment before covering his hands with his face and making a frustrated sound. When he dropped them, he glared at the floor and sighed. “Fuck. Okay. This isn’t working out like it’s supposed to.”
“Seobie-”
As Junhyung grabbed Yoseob’s foot, Doojoon moved forward ready to kick the rapper if he had to, but Yoseob grabbed him by the shoulders and moved him away, shaking off Junhyung’s hand. “No. This has gone far enough. You-” he nodded his head towards first Dongwoon, then Junhyung. “Take care of him. You,” He shoved Doojoon with a surprising amount of force. “You come with me.”
“But-”
“Shut up. This is my mess, I’m cleaning it up before something even more stupid happens.”
Doojoon let himself be manhandled away from the scene. Yoseob had him by the shirt and pretty much forced him along to the elevator.
“Where are we going?”
“Somewhere we can talk without interruptions.”
Which wasn’t particularly enlightening, but it was all Yosoeb would say. Outside they caught a cab and Yoseob gave the driver his parents address. Though Doojoon wanted to ask, he went along with it.
They stayed silent all the way to the small house that Yoseob had grown up in. The singer paid the fare and grabbed Doojoon’s arm, pulling him up to the door.
“Your parents?”
“Went on a cruise. My sister is staying with friends.”
Yoseob got the door unlocked and pushed Doojoon in. Silence reined again as he urged the band leader into the kitchen and pushed him towards a stool. “Sit down.”
Doojoon arched a brow, but did as he was told.
The younger man dug around in the cabinets for a moment before finding a bottle and a pair of shot glasses. He set them up, pouring one shot for each of them and motioned towards Doojoon’s glass. “Drink it.”
They downed their shots together and Yoseob poured them another.
“Yoseob…”
But Yoseob held up a hand. “Not yet.”
Neither of them were big drinkers. They were always aware that maintaing their bodies in top condition was an important part of being successful. Yoseob, especially, always hovered between sickness and health and had started paying extra care to stick to the rules his doctor set down for him.
Doojoon wasn’t even sure the last time he’d seen Yoseob drink more than a celebratory glass of champagne, but he stayed silent and obediently drank the next two shots.
Finally Yoseob set his shot glass aside and stared at the counter for a long moment before sighing. “Junhyung can see whoever he likes.”
“Seobie-”
“We’re not dating.”
Hesitant, Doojoon reached over to put a comforting hand over Yoseob’s hand, but his friend pulled away. “I know that-”
Yoseob laughed then, a bitter, self-depreciating laughter, and shook his head. “You don’t know anything.” He turned around to face the opposite wall, presenting his back to Doojoon. “I’m not lying to make myself feel better. We’re not dating. We never were. Junhyung’s like… the straightest guy I know.”
“Gikwang said-”
With a sigh, Yoseob shook his head again. “Gikwang was trying to help.”
Doojoon bit his lip and glanced away, thinking about it. “Why? Why would you lie? Any of you?” He hated how soft and uncertain his voice sounded, but the last few weeks and been hellish, constantly worrying about Yoseob and the band, afraid that things were going to go wrong at any minute and hoping it’d happen sooner rather than later so that they could pick up the pieces and move forward. “I thought we were friends…”
He could understand why Yoseob and Gikwang had kept quiet about their sexuality. Their’s wasn’t the most understanding culture about such things. He’d been surprised when it had been revealed, but Gikwang had been right. Neither of them had been discreet around the band, they just hadn’t stood up and made a big announcement of it.
To actively lie about dating Junhyung, knowing the possible ramifications it could have on the band… Doojoon didn’t understand that, not at all, and it hurt to know that Yoseob would do it.
Yoseob’s shoulders slumped and he brought a hand up to cover his eyes. “Yeah.”
He hesitated for another moment, then Doojoon reached out again, this time to rest a hand on Yoseob’s shoulder. “What’s wrong, Yoseob? What’s going on?”
“What isn’t?”
Seeing Yoseob in such obvious pain hurt even more than the idea that his friend would lie to him and Doojoon pulled the younger man into his arms. “Tell me.”
“Doojoon…” Yoseob sighed and let his head rest on Doojoon’s shoulder. His hands came up to rest on Doojoon’s hips and clenched there for a moment before relaxing again. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
There was nothing funny in the watery sound of Yoseob’s laugh as he shook his head without lifting it. “No. I’m in love with you.”
“…. Oh.”
“Yeah.” Yoseob took a shuddering sigh. There was so much misery in his voice. “It hurt so much, seeing you with Dongwoon all the time. I was starting to hate him a little, for always taking you away… And that hurt too, because I love Dongwoon. I shouldn’t hate him for my own stupidity.”
Doojoon swallowed and his arms tightened. “Seobie…”
“Junhyung offered to step up our own fan service. Get my mind off the two of you and maybe make you jealous at the same time.” He snorted and pressed his wet cheek against Doojoon’s neck. “Stupid, huh?”
“It’s not stupid, Seobie.” He buried a hand into Yoseob’s hair and held him close. His eyes were closed tight as he sighed and pressed a kiss against Yoseob’s temple. “I’m sorry I was hurting you. I didn’t know.”
“Yeah, I got that.” Yoseob finally pulled back, tucking his hands into his long sleeves and scrubbing his eyes with them. Defiance mingled with the pain as he glared at Doojoon. “I’m not as strong as Gikwang. I can’t be in love with you like this and be happy with your friendship. I thought I could, I really did, but this has been an absolutely crappy year so far.”
“Seobie-”
Yoseob made a face and looked away. “Yeah, I know, you’re sorry you don’t find guys attractive but you still love me and-”
Doojoon sighed and covered Yoseob’s mouth with one hand. “You talk too much, Seobie.”
Arching a brow, the younger man went silent under Doojoon’s hand.
“I never said I didn’t find guys attractive.” He sighed at Yoseob’s incredulous look and let go of him. “I’ve never done anything about it, but I’ve looked.”
“Just not at me.” It wasn’t a question, but Doojoon shrugged anyways.
“I don’t look at my friends or my friends’ sisters. I wouldn’t betray their friendship like that.” He could tell Yoseob took that the wrong way, but Doojoon grabbed his arms before he could turn away. “Because any looking wouldn’t be serious and you don’t mess with friendships unless it’s serious.”
Yoseob hesitated, looking uncertain and vulnerable in a way that Doojoon had never really seen him before. “This is serious.”
“I know.” Doojoon rubbed one hand over his eyes. “It could blow up in our faces so easily, Seobie. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Then don’t hurt me,” Yoseob said softly, easing closer, letting his arms slide around Doojoon’s waist.
“I can’t guarantee that,” Doojoon whispered back, his own arms going around Yoseob’s shoulders. “What if I can’t handle this?”
“Then at least we tried.”
Hesitation faded as Doojoon nodded and leaned down the last couple of inches to kiss Yoseob softly. It was awkward at first, as awkward as the first kiss he’d shared with Kim Joona in the sixth grade. Their noses bumped and Yoseob snorted in laughter as he pulled back. “It’s not that different, Doojoon, and I know you kissed before.”
He just rolled his eyes and hugged Yoseob close. “Jackass. It is different.”
Before Yoseob could completely ruin the mood, he captured the younger man’s lips in a searing kiss. By the time he pulled back, Yoseob was completely silent, his expression dazed and needy.
Doojoon would have been lying if he said it didn’t make him feel a little smug. He smiled and pressed another quick kiss to Yoseob’s mouth. “It matters.”
It took a second for Yoseob’s brain to start working enough to make the jump backwards in his mind. He rolled his eyes and smacked Doojoon’s shoulder, but the blush creeping up his cheeks told another story. “Geez, I’m not a girl. I don’t need the sappy stuff.”
“Maybe I do,” Doojoon retorted, brushing away the lingering dampness on Yoseob’s face. “If you didn’t want a sappy boyfriend, you should have picked someone else.”
Yoseob rolled his eyes again, but relaxed against Doojoon again. His head settled in the crook of Doojoon’s neck and he sighed softly. “Yeah. I guess I can handle a little sap. Just… Please don’t call me ‘babe’.”
Doojoon snorted in laughter and hugged Yoseob tight. “I promise.”
~*~*~
Author: M_K Yujji
Rating: pg-13
Genre: humor, romance
Pairing/Characters: DooSeob, Junhyung/Hyuna, implied JunSeob
Warnings: RPS
Disclaimer: Though real people are used as characters, this fic bears no resemblance to Real Life and these people are not owned by me.
Comments/Notes: Sungsaengnim = Teacher. Teacher kind of sounded a little weird, but that could be because I've been using the Korean word pretty exclusively for the last year while I've been taking Korean classes. Sorry? ^^;;
Previous: Part 1: Yoseob, Part 2: Gikwang, Part 3: Junhyung , Part 4: Dongwoon
Summary: Finding a balance between being a leader, being a friend, and being loved can be hard.
~*~*~
It was impossible not to notice the added tension in the dance studio, but Doojoon did his best to ignore it. Whatever was going on, it would have to wait. They had new choreography to learn and as understanding as their management tended to be over the occasional delay, he’d never wanted to risk pushing that leniency.
They’d made him responsible for the success or failure of Beast the day they’d made him leader and if he sometimes wished he could have passed the responsibility to someone else, he took the job seriously. That meant he juggled the equally important priorities of both the work and personal issues of his friends as best he could within the constraints of time and circumstance that he was given.
He’d already failed once - spectacularly - by not realizing Yoseob was hurting and adding to that pain instead of trying to figure out why.
He was trying to be more aware, but the timing had been horrible.
Between their tour and the preparations for the new album, personal issues were having to take a backseat to work issues.
For once, it was proving to be too difficult, though.
Doojoon tried to focus on the dance instructor who’d been sent by Prepix to teach them the new routine, but it was hard and he kept finding his attention wandering back to where Yoseob was messing around with Junhyung whenever he thought no one was watching him. Junhyung’s own attempts to follow the choreography were half-hearted at best. He seemed torn between amusement at Yoseob’s antics and watching Dongwoon with an unreadable expression.
The maknae had been quiet since he’d gotten Doojoon’s agreement to talk after practice. If he hadn’t looked so distracted and was so pointedly staring at the floor instead of anyone else, Doojoon might have thought that he was actually paying attention. Mostly, though, he seemed to be following the feet in front of him. His arms only moved if the instructor verbalized a move.
At least Hyunseung and Gikwang seemed to be learning - better than Doojoon was, honestly. They were easily the only two members who were actually focused on what they were supposed to be doing.
Finally, the instructor called a halt to the day with a sigh and a shake of his head. “You guys are usually better than this. Take the rest of the day off. Get some rest and good food. Relax. Come back tomorrow ready to be serious about this, all right?”
“Ah… Sorry, Sungsaengnim.” Doojoon’s head dropped in shame knowing he was as guilty as the others. “I don’t know what’s wrong with us today.”
“It’s okay. Like I said, usually you’re the hardest working bunch I ever get assigned to. It won’t hurt to go easy on you once.” The man shook his finger at Doojoon in mock warning. “But don’t get used to it. If you guys don’t try your hardest tomorrow, you’ll regret it.”
The whole group waved the man out as he left, each calling out their own apology and promise to do better next time.
Doojoon sighed and ran a hand through his hair. These were the times when he most hated being the leader.
“Gikwang and Hyunseung, you guys can go. Good job today. Everyone else, stay.”
They glanced at the others with some concern, but obediently left the room. Doojoon waited until they were gone to really look at the three standing before him. Yoseob was in the middle staring at him with a defiance that was familiar, though Doojoon had seldom seen it directed at himself. It was Yoseob’s declaration that he was going to do what he wanted regardless of anyone else’s opinion and calling him out about it was going to be starting a war.
Junhyung was on Yoseob’s left, looking calm and cautious, giving nothing away. He wasn’t apologizing or making excuses - or daring Doojoon to scold him - just waiting.
Dongwoon was on Yoseob’s right, fidgeting and staring at the floor, looking like he wanted to be anywhere else in the world besides where he was.
Sighing, Doojoon shook his head. “All four of us sucked today. I say we take Sungsaengnim’s advice and get some rest. Junhyung, Yoseob… Try to pay more attention to what we’re doing and less attention to each other. When we’re here, we’re supposed to be working. If you can’t manage to keep your mind on what we’re doing, management is going to notice and they might separate you. I wouldn’t think you’d want that to happen.”
He was staring right at Yoseob as he said it, making sure the younger man knew exactly which of them he was really talking to. Yoseob looked away, his defiance wavered by the fact that he knew he was in the wrong this time.
It felt weird to be talking about the relationship openly. He’d had a week to get used to the idea and he still wasn’t sure he approved. Part of it was this very thing - Yoseob’s inability to put work first - but if he was honest, Doojoon knew the interference in their work wasn’t the whole of the issue. Junhyung was one of his oldest friends within the industry and he genuinely liked the guy, but he didn’t have the best track record with girls. For all that they teased him about it, there was truth to the joke that Junhyung wasn’t sure how many girls he’d dated. There were just too many.
And while Doojoon was sure that Junhyung was perfectly serious in the moment, he didn’t want Yoseob to get hurt when the moment passed as it inevitably would. Because Gikwang was right. Junhyung was too in love with the female form to ever do more than experiment with a guy.
And Yoseob deserved better than to be Junhyung’s - or anyone else’s - sexual experimentation.
Yoseob looked back at him, searching his face for something, before sighing and nodding. “Sorry,” he muttered. “You’re right. We don’t want to be separated so we’ll be more careful in the future.”
To his right, Dongwoon flinched slightly.
He filed the reaction away and nodded towards the door. “Good. The two of you can go.”
Yoseob nodded again as he grabbed Junhyung’s hand and made to leave. Junhyung resisted for a moment, though, looking over at Dongwoon. Dongwoon refused to look up.
Doojoon wasn’t sure what to make of the look Junhyung gave him before the rapper finally let Yoseob drag him out of the room, but he put it out of his mind for the moment and stared at Dongwoon.
“So? I assume you were distracted because of whatever you wanted to talk to me about?”
“Yeah…” Dongwoon looked up then, and Doojoon was struck by how very young and confused he looked. It wasn’t that they ever actually forgot that Dongwoon was the youngest and least experienced of them, it was just that it wasn’t often something they thought about. Jokes and goofing off aside, he often acted more like the eldest than the youngest.
He hesitated for a moment before stuffing his hands in his pockets and dropping his eyes back to the floor. “Umm.. Hyung… Hypothetically speaking… If you caught a friend cheating on another friend… what would you do?”
“Well, cheating is wrong regardless, but I guess it would depend-” It clicked then, like the tumblers of a lock all falling into place - Dongwoon’s hurried return without Junhyung and the rapper just behind him, the tension, the looks… “Junhyung…”
Dongwoon looked relieved that Doojoon had caught on so quickly. “He was with Hyuna and they were… well… There was no mistaking what was going on.” The relieved look gave way to misery. “But hyung, Yoseob looks so happy now. I don’t know what to do.”
“Son of a-” Doojoon whirled around, stalking out of the room without another word to Dongwoon.
He’d known Junhyung would hurt Yoseob. He’d known it. But he’d at least expected the man to have the decency not to string their friend along like he didn’t even matter.
The pair hadn’t made it very far. They were talking quietly when Doojoon caught up to them, their heads close together, Junhyung’s arm slung around Yoseob’s shoulders and both of Yoseob’s wrapped around Junhyung’s waist.
It was a familiar position, although it had been months since it had been his arm slung around Yoseob and his waist Yoseob was clinging to. It spoke of contentment and comfort. Trust.
All the half formed ideas of talking to Junhyung, warning Yoseob, of being in any way reasonable about the situation flew right out of Doojoon’s head.
He hissed and shook his hand out as Junhyung flopped back onto his back, holding his jaw where color was already starting to flower along the skin. “Get up, you son of a bitch.”
“Doojoon!” Yoseob was between them in an instant, shielding Junhyung from further attack and glaring at Doojoon as if everything was his fault somehow. “What the hell?!”
All Doojoon could do was shake his head and glare around Yoseob at Junhyung. Junhyung’s resigned guilt was easier than facing the anger and hurt on Yoseob’s face. “He fucking deserves a lot worse than that.”
“He does not-”
“Yoseob, he was with Hyuna.” Dongwoon’s voice was calm, but pained. He was always better in the moment after the decisions had been made than any time before. “I saw him.”
Junhyung didn’t deny the charge, sighing and closing his eyes instead.
Yoseob gaped at them for a moment before covering his hands with his face and making a frustrated sound. When he dropped them, he glared at the floor and sighed. “Fuck. Okay. This isn’t working out like it’s supposed to.”
“Seobie-”
As Junhyung grabbed Yoseob’s foot, Doojoon moved forward ready to kick the rapper if he had to, but Yoseob grabbed him by the shoulders and moved him away, shaking off Junhyung’s hand. “No. This has gone far enough. You-” he nodded his head towards first Dongwoon, then Junhyung. “Take care of him. You,” He shoved Doojoon with a surprising amount of force. “You come with me.”
“But-”
“Shut up. This is my mess, I’m cleaning it up before something even more stupid happens.”
Doojoon let himself be manhandled away from the scene. Yoseob had him by the shirt and pretty much forced him along to the elevator.
“Where are we going?”
“Somewhere we can talk without interruptions.”
Which wasn’t particularly enlightening, but it was all Yosoeb would say. Outside they caught a cab and Yoseob gave the driver his parents address. Though Doojoon wanted to ask, he went along with it.
They stayed silent all the way to the small house that Yoseob had grown up in. The singer paid the fare and grabbed Doojoon’s arm, pulling him up to the door.
“Your parents?”
“Went on a cruise. My sister is staying with friends.”
Yoseob got the door unlocked and pushed Doojoon in. Silence reined again as he urged the band leader into the kitchen and pushed him towards a stool. “Sit down.”
Doojoon arched a brow, but did as he was told.
The younger man dug around in the cabinets for a moment before finding a bottle and a pair of shot glasses. He set them up, pouring one shot for each of them and motioned towards Doojoon’s glass. “Drink it.”
They downed their shots together and Yoseob poured them another.
“Yoseob…”
But Yoseob held up a hand. “Not yet.”
Neither of them were big drinkers. They were always aware that maintaing their bodies in top condition was an important part of being successful. Yoseob, especially, always hovered between sickness and health and had started paying extra care to stick to the rules his doctor set down for him.
Doojoon wasn’t even sure the last time he’d seen Yoseob drink more than a celebratory glass of champagne, but he stayed silent and obediently drank the next two shots.
Finally Yoseob set his shot glass aside and stared at the counter for a long moment before sighing. “Junhyung can see whoever he likes.”
“Seobie-”
“We’re not dating.”
Hesitant, Doojoon reached over to put a comforting hand over Yoseob’s hand, but his friend pulled away. “I know that-”
Yoseob laughed then, a bitter, self-depreciating laughter, and shook his head. “You don’t know anything.” He turned around to face the opposite wall, presenting his back to Doojoon. “I’m not lying to make myself feel better. We’re not dating. We never were. Junhyung’s like… the straightest guy I know.”
“Gikwang said-”
With a sigh, Yoseob shook his head again. “Gikwang was trying to help.”
Doojoon bit his lip and glanced away, thinking about it. “Why? Why would you lie? Any of you?” He hated how soft and uncertain his voice sounded, but the last few weeks and been hellish, constantly worrying about Yoseob and the band, afraid that things were going to go wrong at any minute and hoping it’d happen sooner rather than later so that they could pick up the pieces and move forward. “I thought we were friends…”
He could understand why Yoseob and Gikwang had kept quiet about their sexuality. Their’s wasn’t the most understanding culture about such things. He’d been surprised when it had been revealed, but Gikwang had been right. Neither of them had been discreet around the band, they just hadn’t stood up and made a big announcement of it.
To actively lie about dating Junhyung, knowing the possible ramifications it could have on the band… Doojoon didn’t understand that, not at all, and it hurt to know that Yoseob would do it.
Yoseob’s shoulders slumped and he brought a hand up to cover his eyes. “Yeah.”
He hesitated for another moment, then Doojoon reached out again, this time to rest a hand on Yoseob’s shoulder. “What’s wrong, Yoseob? What’s going on?”
“What isn’t?”
Seeing Yoseob in such obvious pain hurt even more than the idea that his friend would lie to him and Doojoon pulled the younger man into his arms. “Tell me.”
“Doojoon…” Yoseob sighed and let his head rest on Doojoon’s shoulder. His hands came up to rest on Doojoon’s hips and clenched there for a moment before relaxing again. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
There was nothing funny in the watery sound of Yoseob’s laugh as he shook his head without lifting it. “No. I’m in love with you.”
“…. Oh.”
“Yeah.” Yoseob took a shuddering sigh. There was so much misery in his voice. “It hurt so much, seeing you with Dongwoon all the time. I was starting to hate him a little, for always taking you away… And that hurt too, because I love Dongwoon. I shouldn’t hate him for my own stupidity.”
Doojoon swallowed and his arms tightened. “Seobie…”
“Junhyung offered to step up our own fan service. Get my mind off the two of you and maybe make you jealous at the same time.” He snorted and pressed his wet cheek against Doojoon’s neck. “Stupid, huh?”
“It’s not stupid, Seobie.” He buried a hand into Yoseob’s hair and held him close. His eyes were closed tight as he sighed and pressed a kiss against Yoseob’s temple. “I’m sorry I was hurting you. I didn’t know.”
“Yeah, I got that.” Yoseob finally pulled back, tucking his hands into his long sleeves and scrubbing his eyes with them. Defiance mingled with the pain as he glared at Doojoon. “I’m not as strong as Gikwang. I can’t be in love with you like this and be happy with your friendship. I thought I could, I really did, but this has been an absolutely crappy year so far.”
“Seobie-”
Yoseob made a face and looked away. “Yeah, I know, you’re sorry you don’t find guys attractive but you still love me and-”
Doojoon sighed and covered Yoseob’s mouth with one hand. “You talk too much, Seobie.”
Arching a brow, the younger man went silent under Doojoon’s hand.
“I never said I didn’t find guys attractive.” He sighed at Yoseob’s incredulous look and let go of him. “I’ve never done anything about it, but I’ve looked.”
“Just not at me.” It wasn’t a question, but Doojoon shrugged anyways.
“I don’t look at my friends or my friends’ sisters. I wouldn’t betray their friendship like that.” He could tell Yoseob took that the wrong way, but Doojoon grabbed his arms before he could turn away. “Because any looking wouldn’t be serious and you don’t mess with friendships unless it’s serious.”
Yoseob hesitated, looking uncertain and vulnerable in a way that Doojoon had never really seen him before. “This is serious.”
“I know.” Doojoon rubbed one hand over his eyes. “It could blow up in our faces so easily, Seobie. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Then don’t hurt me,” Yoseob said softly, easing closer, letting his arms slide around Doojoon’s waist.
“I can’t guarantee that,” Doojoon whispered back, his own arms going around Yoseob’s shoulders. “What if I can’t handle this?”
“Then at least we tried.”
Hesitation faded as Doojoon nodded and leaned down the last couple of inches to kiss Yoseob softly. It was awkward at first, as awkward as the first kiss he’d shared with Kim Joona in the sixth grade. Their noses bumped and Yoseob snorted in laughter as he pulled back. “It’s not that different, Doojoon, and I know you kissed before.”
He just rolled his eyes and hugged Yoseob close. “Jackass. It is different.”
Before Yoseob could completely ruin the mood, he captured the younger man’s lips in a searing kiss. By the time he pulled back, Yoseob was completely silent, his expression dazed and needy.
Doojoon would have been lying if he said it didn’t make him feel a little smug. He smiled and pressed another quick kiss to Yoseob’s mouth. “It matters.”
It took a second for Yoseob’s brain to start working enough to make the jump backwards in his mind. He rolled his eyes and smacked Doojoon’s shoulder, but the blush creeping up his cheeks told another story. “Geez, I’m not a girl. I don’t need the sappy stuff.”
“Maybe I do,” Doojoon retorted, brushing away the lingering dampness on Yoseob’s face. “If you didn’t want a sappy boyfriend, you should have picked someone else.”
Yoseob rolled his eyes again, but relaxed against Doojoon again. His head settled in the crook of Doojoon’s neck and he sighed softly. “Yeah. I guess I can handle a little sap. Just… Please don’t call me ‘babe’.”
Doojoon snorted in laughter and hugged Yoseob tight. “I promise.”
~*~*~