fic: Reckless Love {MinHo}
Title: Reckless Love
Length: One-shot
Author: M_K Yujji
Rating: R, mostly for mature themes and language
Genre: drama, angst, romantic tragedy
Pairing/Characters: Jaejoong, Taebin, MinHo - uses a mix of YG and SM, but those are the main ones.
Warnings: AU, RPS, violence, death/murder/suicide, homo-phobic character(s)
Disclaimer: Though real people are used as characters, this fic bears no resemblance to Real Life and these people are not owned by me.
Comments/Notes: When I sat down to write yesterday, this was not what I had intended. It's probably the longest thing I've ever written in one big fit of inspiration. My beta went to sleep in the middle of the last scene, so... it's beta'd up to that point. Hopefully there aren't too many mistakes after that.
It bears noting that all of my knowledge of how gangs and organized crime work comes from too many episodes of CSI and Law&Order. So... -_-; yeah.... Sorry about blatant strangeness.
Also, this fic has two 'prequels' that were written to be read after the fic itself.
~~~~Changmin's Song: Wild Soul
~~~~Yunho's Song: From Way Before
Summary: He'd thought that getting stronger, taking control, would make things easier. Better. He'd been wrong.
~*~*~
Life in a gang had sounded great when he was a kid. Growing up in a rough neighborhood with no one else to protect him from the bad things in the night... it had seemed like a haven.
It was only as he got older that he had realized how very imprisoning it really was.
He'd thought that getting stronger, taking control, would make things easier. Better.
He'd been wrong.
All he'd done was add a few more bars to the prison.
~*~*~
“Hey, JaeJae, phone call~” Junsu bounced passed, dropping the phone in Jaejoong's lap as he went.
His brother's boundless energy was exhausting just to watch, so Jaejoong didn't try. Instead, he tucked the phone between his shoulder and his ear and frowned at the neat little columns of math.
Why had no one ever warned him that there was paperwork involved with being a big gang boss?
“I can't make it to the club tonight, Jaejoong.”
Jaejoong frowned, snagging a calculator. Math had never been his strong suit, but it all looked wrong to him. “Don't tell me things like that, Min. Tell me instead, where you're at and why I'm sitting here trying to make heads or tails out of these damned books.”
There was a sigh. “Which books are you looking at Jaejoong? The green ones or the red ones?”
Blink, blink. “There's more than one set of books?”
“Oh for crying out loud... Jaejoong, half of the money we get in is illegal. Of course there's two sets of books.”
Which at least explained why everything looked so topsy turvy. “See, obviously I need you to get your ass here right now so that I don't have to give myself a headache over this shit. I pay you to do this for me, Minnie.”
When he'd wrested control of the gang from HeeChul, he'd taken one look at the mess the man had made out of everything and immediately brought his cousin in to fix it. Never mind that he'd originally intended to keep Changmin as far away from the gang as possible.
“You don't pay me at all.”
“That new laptop was expensive. So was your PC. And all those damned books. And of course-“
“Okay, okay. You pay me in non-taxable ways. Jaejoong, just leave the books, okay? I'll finish all of the paperwork tomorrow. I'll even walk you through them if you want, but I'm busy tonight.”
“But I need you to-“
“I've got to go.”
“Changmin-“
“I'll be home later.”
“Chang-“
Jaejoong glared at the phone in his hand with wide eyes. Changmin had hung up on him.
“JaeJae?”
“He hung up on me.”
“What?”
“That little bastard hung up on me.”
No one hung up on Kim Jaejoong. Especially not scrawny, snot-nosed little cousins who had been becoming more and more disrespectful and disobedient of late.
“Ah, must be distracted by his girlfriend.”
Cold, suspicious eyes pinned Junsu. “What girlfriend? Who is she? When did they start dating?”
Junsu shrugged, looking distinctly uncomfortable with the questioning. “I don't know. He wouldn't talk about her.”
“Then how do you know there's a girl?” Jae ground out. Sometimes getting information out of Junsu was worse than having teeth pulled. Jaejoong had never been sure if it was because the younger boy was afraid of his uncertain temper or if it was because Junsu enjoyed provoking him.
“Well....” Junsu rubbed the back of his neck. “He's come home with hickies a lot, recently.”
Jaejoong pushed away from the desk and sighed. A girl would explain Changmin's sudden reckless disobedience. He'd seen it happen before. Girls were the bane of existence for any gang leader. They made grown men do the stupidest things. “Any idea who she is?”
“Not really... He was being secretive,” which wasn't unusual for Changmin. No one held his secrets closer to his chest than their resident computer geek, even when the secret was as silly as what he'd had for lunch that day. “He got a phone call from a dance studio over on 160th, though and lit up like some kind of Christmas tree. I think it was her.”
Changmin might have been in charge of paperwork and computers, but Junsu kept tabs on all the phone calls coming in and out. Mostly it was to keep track of possible rats and moles, but it made keeping track of the rest of his people easier, too.
But Changmin knew that as well as anyone else and if he was trying to keep it a secret.... “He wouldn't let her call from anywhere we could use to actually track her down.”
“Unless he knew that we'd think that.”
“...” Jaejoong rubbed the bridge of his nose. It was too complicated a thought process for most people and he almost snapped at Junsu for adding to his usual paranoia. Except it was Changmin. And he was that complicated. “I don't have time to worry about it tonight. I have to meet Soo Min about the shipment that's coming in next week.”
“He'll ask about Changmin.”
There weren't many people that Jaejoong feared or respected, but Soo Min got both from him. The man was head of the largest crime organization in the country. Even the police tended to give him and his people a wide berth. Actually, Jaejoong had a strong suspicion that Soo Min owned half the officers in the city.
He was observant and patient, filing away seemingly random bits of information that he later used with all the cold, calculation of a tiger stalking unsuspecting prey. He made Jaejoong uneasy simply by being in the same room and Jaejoong hated him for that.
“It can't be helped.” If Jaejoong knew exactly where Changmin was, he'd go and get the little bastard and force him to fulfill his obligations. He didn't know and he didn't have time to run around trying to figure it out. “If anything goes wrong, I'll have Changmin's head on a platter.”
Cousin or not.
~*~*~
It was almost two o'clock in the morning when the apartment door cracked open and a dark form tried to slip through unnoticed.
Unluckily for Changmin, Jaejoong was sitting up waiting for him in the darkness of the kitchen.
Jaejoong took vengeful pleasure in the way Changmin startled at seeing his face in the glow from the opened refrigerator. “Jaejoong! What are you doing up?”
“It's two o'clock, Changmin. Unless you're out with me, your curfew is midnight.”
Changmin scowled at him, snagging a plate of spring rolls that had been left over from dinner. “I'm not one of your thugs, Jaejoong. I have the right to come and go as I please.”
“It's as much for your safety as it is for anything else. I have enemies, Changmin. Those enemies aren't going to care that you think you're above the rest of the gang.”
“I never even wanted to be part of your stupid gang,” Changmin bit out, dumping the rolls onto a plate and shoving them into the microwave. “You just rushed in where only the stupid tread and realized if you didn't drag me into it, you'd end up in jail or worse.”
Never had Jaejoong heard Changmin talk like that before. In the years since he'd taken things over, Changmin hadn't balked once, he had simply done as he was asked. Sometimes the things he asked for in return seemed extravagant to Jaejoong, but considering he'd taken all consideration of a self-planned future out of the boy's hands, he hadn't complained. Not too much, anyway. “I didn't realize you felt that way.”
“You never asked.” Changmin sighed and stared at the microwave. “You never do. About anything. It's your way or no way.”
“Changmin-“
“I'm eighteen and everything in my life revolves around the 5-11. I don't get to do anything that my classmates do. I didn't even get to go to prom. I'm tired of it. You don't get to say what I do when I'm not keeping your ass out of trouble, anymore. It's my business.” The boy took his rolls before the microwave went off and stormed out of the room, leaving a contemplative Jaejoong behind to stare after him.
~*~*~
“Get me the address of the dance club. And I want to know the next time he goes out to meet this girl.”
“JaeJae. He's practically grown now, you know.”
“Just do it, Junsu.”
“...” A deep sigh. “Consider it done.”
~*~*~
Jaejoong sat in the 24hr diner and café across from the ancient looking building that he now knew housed a dance studio. Looking up the building information would have been as easy as a computer search with Changmin's help, but Jaejoong could charm the pants right off of any girl he chose. Getting complete details from the homely waitress at the café was a simple matter of a smile and some casually asked questions. He almost felt sorry for her, the way she drank up his attention as if no one had ever given her any in her life. Almost.
The first floor was taken up by a shop that sold dance apparel and other things that Jaejoong only barely understood. The three floors above it had been converted into a dance school that opened its doors to all ages. The waitress had rattled on about how her 5 year old niece was learning ballet from a ruggedly handsome man. Personally, Jaejoong didn't see what could be all that rugged or handsome about any man who taught dancing to little kids for a living.
He glanced at his watch again and sipped at his coffee, waiting. Junsu had been upwards of 75% sure that Changmin was going to be meeting his secret girl tonight and so far, the dance studio seemed to be where most of her phone calls were coming from. It was as good a place to start as any. Jaejoong had delegated his more pressing business duties onto his siblings and had resigned himself to waiting as long as it took to solve this particular mystery.
Three hours later, his bladder practically floating in all the coffee he'd had, Jaejoong was starting to doubt his own resolve.
Sighing, he propped his chin on one fist and stared out at the building with glazed eyes.
His mind was drifting around nothing in particular and he almost missed it. If Changmin had been simply walking along the street like a normal passer-by, Jaejoong wouldn't have even noticed him even if he'd walked through the front door. It was the sneaking that captured his attention.
He sat up straight and watched with great interest as Changmin glanced around before slipping into the alleyway that went to the back of the dance studio's building.
“Caught you,” Jaejoong whispered, satisfaction heavy in his voice. He dropped enough money to cover his tab on the table and slipped out to follow his errant cousin.
A muffled crashing sound and light curses in a familiar voice kept Jaejoong from going around the back corner of the building too soon. He peered around to see Changmin righting a fallen trash can with a glower before pulling down the ladder for the fire escape and scrambling up it with less than his usual grace.
Jaejoong arched a brow and sighed. Obviously the boy was worse than smitten if it was making him that clumsy.
He watched as the boy scaled up to the fourth floor and eased a window open. The loud, pulsing beat of a foreign dance song poured out into the night air. For a long minute, Changmin just sat in the window sill, too far away from Jaejoong to actually see his face, then the song ended and he slipped in.
Just as he was closing the window, another song kicked on.
Jaejoong shook his head. Music that loud was guaranteed to deafen someone, but at least it meant he could climb up the ladder without anyone noticing. He didn't want Changmin to get the chance to hide the girl, after all.
He'd just reached the ladder when a familiar voice stopped him.
“You won't like it.”
The gun was in his hand before he even turned fully around, but his rival just flicked his cigarette.
“What the hell are you doing here?”
Im Taebin just snorted in quiet amusement. “This is YG territory, or didn't you notice?”
Was it? Jaejoong glanced upwards and scowled. That meant Changmin was probably seeing someone with ties to YG, maybe even a full member - YG was less picky about that than his own gang was.
It also meant Jaejoong couldn't just shoot Taebin without starting an all out gang war. That was something he'd been trying to avoid. Soo Min had made his own disdain for petty gang fighting well known. He claimed it was bad for business and no one had any doubt that he'd smash whoever started such a war like they were cockroaches.
Small skirmishes were one thing.
Killing the seemingly-unarmed rival gang leader, unprovoked in his own territory....
Jaejoong put his own gun away. “Smug bastard.”
He'd be dead before he could make it back to his own territory and probably Changmin with him.
“And you're an asshole. We all have our little quirks.”
“Who is it?”
Taebin smiled beatifically. “You can go look if you're so curious. I won't stop you.”
Scowling, Jaejoong backed his way towards the ladder. There was no way he was turning his back on Taebin. Seemingly-unarmed was not the same as unarmed. Only an insane man would walk around without a gun with the number of enemies one made rising up to the top as they had.
He could tell his precaution amused the other man, but Taebin just leaned back against the building on the other side of the alley and watched him.
As he crept up the fire escape, he could feel the slight vibrations that trembled through the metal. How could they even hear themselves think, never mind hear an enemy creep up on them?
Even if he decided to let the relationship continue unimpeded, he was obviously going to have to have a talk with Changmin about watching his - and his girl's - back more carefully.
The window rattled slightly and music spilled out from the crack that Changmin had left. He jerked away when he realized that Changmin still hadn't moved very far from the window. His cousin wasn't paying any attention to the window behind him though, and even as Jaejoong was grateful that it let him sneak closer, he cursed the boy's stupidity. It was going to get him killed some day.
The wall directly across from the window was lined in show posters. The other walls he could see were lined with mirrors. He was thankful that wasn't on the opposite wall or else it would have put his reflection in Changmin's line of sight.
A whirling blur dressed in sweats and a t-shirt passed in front of him and Jaejoong sucked in a hissing breath.
Not a girl. A boy.
For the last chorus of the song, all Jaejoong could do was stare at the dancing figure, wide-eyed in disbelief.
Then the music ended and the boy walked over to turn the stereo down. Changmin pushed himself away from the window and stalked his companion with all the grace that had been missing in his mad scramble up the fire escape.
It took all of his self-control to keep Jaejoong where he was as he watched his cousin catch the other boy at the stereo with an enthusiastic kiss and embrace. The urge to slam the window up and demand that Changmin go home right this instant was nearly overwhelming.
What the hell was the kid thinking?
Then they parted long enough for Jaejoong to actually see the boy's face and all the blood left his face.
No fucking way.
No fucking way in hell would Changmin be that stupid.
Except that obviously, he was.
He couldn't hear what they were saying through the window or over the still-playing music and he'd never learned to lip-read, but their expressions were sickeningly sweet and earnest. He watched as Changmin pulled the other boy, laughing, back out onto the floor to dance something more intimate.
They swayed and turned in soft gentle movements, each looking genuinely happy and in love and Jaejoong swallowed the bitter anger that still wanted to spill out. He hadn't seen Changmin look that happy since before his parents had died and he'd ended up in Jaejoong's occasionally less-than-stellar care.
The kissing started again, deepening and becoming a lot less innocent and Jaejoong wrinkled his nose before backing away. The unspoken guy code that you never, ever interrupted a guy about to get laid still applied even when it was two guys, right?
Besides, he needed to think. Preferably somewhere that wouldn't make him want to start paddling his stupid, stubborn cousin. That thought was quickly followed by the distasteful one that Changmin might like it and he pulled his hair with a growl. He was quite happy not knowing what his baby cousin might or might not like for sex.
Forget thinking. He needed to get drunk. Maybe then he could wash all memory of this incident from his mind.
“I told you you wouldn't like it,” Taebin said as Jaejoong jumped off the fire escape several rungs from the bottom.
Jaejoong scowled at the man. “You don't seem very upset by it.”
The older man shrugged and lit a new cigerette. Had he really been up there that long, then? “Why should I be upset? They're grown men.”
“You mean to tell me that it doesn't bother you in the slightest that my cousin is fucking your little brother?”
If Changmin had to get involved with a guy - which was enough to get him beat if the wrong people found out - did it have to be Jung Yunho? The younger half-brother to YGs leader hadn't been actively involved in any gang activities recently, but at one point he'd been Taebin's second-in-command.
“I'm pretty sure it's a little of both, actually.” Taebin sucked in a nicotine filled breath and leaned his head against the wall with closed eyes. “He's happy. Why should that bother me?”
It struck Jaejoong suddenly, like epiphanies were wont to do. This had obviously not been the first time Changmin had come here and if he'd ever been accosted doing it, Jaejoong would have heard about the entire mess sooner. He hadn't heard so much as a whisper about the couple and his information network was good - even without Changmin. “You're protecting them.”
The slight smile quirked at the edge of Taebin's lips was barely noticible, but it was enough.
“How long?”
Taebin shrugged. “Almost a year, now.”
“How...” Jaejoong swallowed hard. How had his cousin, the baby he thought he knew so well, been hiding this from him for so long? No need to ask why, given their last 'conversation'.
A look of cold deliberation settled onto Taebin's face. “It's not really any of our business what they do as long as it doesn't get them killed, right?”
The threat in his tone was impossible to miss and Jaejoong bristled automatically. But at the same time... He glanced back up the fire escape and shook his head. “If it does get them killed, I'm holding you personally responsible.”
Taebin's quiet laughter followed him as he stormed away.
~*~*~
Occasionally Junsu showed actual survival instinct and knew when to steer clear of his older brother. Usually, though, it was his twin, Junho, that actually kept him from ending up splattered across the six o'clock news as a domestic violence fatality.
A week passed.
Changmin slipped out to meet Yunho at least two more times and each of those nights he returned, unharmed and happy.
It was a week spent gathering information while his siblings watched him with cautious curiosity and handled their day to day business. Everything he could find confirmed his own sketchy knowledge. After a particularly vicious skirmish between the 5-11 and YG - one that Jaejoong had apparently been present for, though he couldn't pin down any specific memories of it - Jung Yunho had faded from the scene. He'd been replaced as Taebin's second by Teddy Park, an annoying prick of an egotist that never failed to piss Jaejoong off any time they ended up within sight of each other. Honestly, though, Jaejoong had preferred dealing with him to Jung. The boy had always been too nice. Jaejoong had felt like he was picking on a little kid. It was much easier to taunt and threaten someone as hateful as Park. He could almost see what had appealed to Changmin even if the entire guy thing still left a sour taste in his mouth.
The gang leader had just about decided to hold his own council and let the boy sort out his personal life without interference when Changmin came back after a third nightly visit with a bloody nose and a black eye.
“I hope you at least put up a good fight.”
Changmin scowled at him, opening up the freezer and grabbing a bag of frozen peas. “Shut up.”
Though Jaejoong arched a brow, he remained silent, just watching. He could wait the boy out. It gave him time to consider who his cousin might have tangled with. No one from their gang or else he'd have been called in to sort it all out. It could have been a random mugging or one of the other handful of gangs that littered the city, but somehow Jaejoong doubted it. Considering where Changmin had been hanging out, it was most likely one of the YGs. Jung had never struck him as the abusive boyfriend type and whatever anyone said about Taebin, the man loved his brother. He protected the kid's happiness too fiercely to have suddenly decided to attack the boyfriend he'd been helping protect for so long.
Which meant someone else had found out. Someone who didn't give a shit about whether the boys were happy or not. “So which YG thug do we need to go beat up?”
Finally Changmin sighed. “You already know about Yunho.”
Jaejoong tapped his nose and looked smug. “I always knew you were the smart one.”
“And you're an asshole,” Changmin retorted without any real heat. He looked too miserable to muster up the righteous indignation he usually would have. He laid his head, pea bag and all, down on the table. “Teddy caught us.”
“That couldn't have gone well.” Teddy wasn't Taebin's second on the weight of their friendship alone. He was a tough bastard and his passionate hatred for 511s and homosexuality in general was well known fact. More than one fight had erupted between the gangs simply because Teddy had blown a fuse at seeing friendly greetings that he'd considered too friendly.
Personally, Jaejoong figured he was just in deep denial and taking it out on everyone else.
Changmin sighed again and closed his eyes. “I thought Yunho was going to kill him, but Taebin showed up.”
The other gang leader had probably been hovering nearby. Jaejoong scowled at the thought. Taebin should have stopped Teddy from getting to them at all.
“Tell me everything that happened, Min. Not just pieces.” He needed to know just how bad it was, if they were going to have to keep Changmin under house arrest and armed guard until it all blew over.
“We were just minding our own business, dancing in the studio... That's usually what we do,” Changmin clarified, though he seemed resigned to the knowledge that Jaejoong already knew everything there was to know about his relationship with Yunho.
“You had the music up too loud and didn't hear him coming,” Jaejoong concluded, disgusted more at himself than Changmin or Yunho. He'd known he should have said something about it, but he'd thought Taebin would be enough protection.
Changmin winced and looked up, guilty. “I guess. One second it was just me and him lost in our own little world, the next I was picking myself up out of the stereo system and Teddy and Yunho were at each other's throats.” His entire face crumbled, half-suppressed sobs and hiccups escaping as he fought for control and Jaejoong was too stunned to react for a long moment. Changmin didn't cry, period. It was one of the basic constants of their lives. Jaejoong would always be an asshole, Junsu would always be annoying, Junho would always be the steady rock. And Changmin never, ever cried.
Not when both of his parents had been gunned down without mercy by drugged up carjackers. Not when the harried social worker had deposited him on Jaejoong's worn, thread-bare couch with little more care than she'd have shown dropping a puppy off at the pound. Not even when he'd found himself neck deep in a life of barely getting by through illegal activities that would have had his parents rolling over in their graves.
It shook Jaejoong badly and it was a few moments before he recovered himself enough to reach over and thread his fingers through Changmin's hair in wordless comfort.
Teary-eyed, it took Changmin even longer to calm down enough to speak again and his voice was scratchy and hushed when he did. “Taebin said it was safer for me to come home and stay low for a while. That Teddy wouldn't touch Yunho again, but he'd consider me fair game if he could catch me.”
YG lacked the same infighting that Jaejoong had to contend with. Taebin held a rigid policy within his gang. He settled arguments and anyone who didn't like it was more than welcome to fight him for leadership. Most people weren't that stupid. It worked for him, but Jaejoong didn't want to have to deal with that kind of headache. He wasn't anyone's daddy and he didn't see the need to act like it.
That meant that if Teddy wanted any kind of twisted justice for any imagined slight that Yunho had made, he'd have to get it through Changmin or face Taebin's wrath. Which he'd have faced anyway, simply because Yunho was Taebin's beloved brother.
“He's probably right.”
Changmin drooped even further, apparently hoping that Jaejoong would have given him cause to dispute Taebin's decision. “It's not fair.”
Jaejoong snorted and tugged on Changmin's hair. “Life isn't fair, Minnie.” The affectionate pet name slipped out without thought, even though he hadn't used it in years. “I thought you knew that already.”
~*~*~
For days, Changmin moped around the apartment looking like someone had shot his puppy. He'd sit and stare at his computer screen for long hours without ever actually doing anything. Any amount of cajoling or jokes was met with monosyllabic replies. Food was turned away with nothing more than a depressed sigh.
It was driving everyone crazy, but there was little Jaejoong could do to remedy the situation other than try to keep Changmin too busy to really think about it. They were in the middle of negotiations with Soo Min, after all, and Jaejoong had neglected things long enough.
But business was handled with half-hearted enthusiasm at best and more than once Jaejoong caught Soo Min watching his cousin with quiet speculation.
It was becoming worrisome.
~*~*~
“This can't go on, JaeJae. He won't even eat. Let him see his girl.”
“It's too dangerous right now.”
“Why?”
“Ask him yourself.”
“He won't even tell Junho.”
“Then maybe it isn't any of your business.”
“You're an asshole.”
“Everyone keeps saying that.”
~*~*~
“Where do you think you're going?” Jaejoong asked, leaning against the door jam as he watched Changmin stuff clothes into a duffle bag.
“We're leaving. Fuck both gangs.” Changmin offered a brief glare of defiance, but didn't stop his quick packing.
He seemed determined to do what he wanted whatever Jaejoong had to say to the contrary.
Jaejoong sighed and wished Junsu and Junho hadn't insisted that he not smoke in the apartment. He could really use a rush of nicotine just then. “You don't have any money.”
“Yunho has plenty.”
“Where will you go?” It didn't seem like Changmin was going to be reasonable and Jaejoong wasn't entirely sure he blamed the other. His life didn't leave much time for relationships, but after seeing how happy Changmin had been with Yunho, the difference from the boy's every day resignation was startlingly apparent. Would he leave for that kind of happiness?
Maybe. If there really was a chance to hold on to it.
“I don't know,” Changmin said with a shrug. “I guess we'll take the first bus out of town and see where it takes us.”
How... haphazard.
“Can he get away without attracting any attention?”
Changmin stopped and bit his lip, glancing up uncertainly at Jaejoong. He'd probably expected more fight than he was getting. He shrugged again. “He said Taebin would make a distraction.”
If Taebin was willing to let his baby brother go, help him get away even, to let him be happy in some far off place with Changmin, could Jaejoong really do any differently?
“You don't call us to let us know you're okay, I'll hunt you down and beat you up.”
A shy smile lit Changmin's face, making him look like the boy he should have been instead of the premature adult Jaejoong had forced him to become. He slung his bag over a shoulder and stepped over to hug Jaejoong tightly. “Thank you, Jaejoong.”
For a moment, Jaejoong returned the embrace just as tightly, then he pulled back and shoved Changmin almost playfully towards the door. “Oh go on and get out of here, brat.”
~*~*~
“JAEJOONG!”
The use of his full name from Junsu was enough to jerk Jaejoong's attention away from Soo Min entirely.
Junsu never called him by his full name. The younger man completely ignored the scowling guards Soo Min had fanned throughout the room as he slid to a stop, nearly toppling Jaejoong over.
“What the hell-“
“Min-“ but he was panting to hard to get it out, so he simply pulled frantically at Jaejoong's sleeve. “YG. Min.”
It was enough to make Jaejoong's blood run cold.
There were too many things that could have happened to guess exactly, but none of them boded well for his cousin.
Jaejoong barely managed a bow and a quick plea for forgiveness to Soo Min before rushing back out to the bikes Junsu and Junho had waiting.
Some things were more important than business.
~*~*~
It happened on 5-11 territory, so they didn't have far to go.
Still, by the time they arrived it was too late to be much help.
Jaejoong took in the scene in a heartbeat, the weight and tension on his shoulders only lessening when he realized that Changmin seemed unhurt where he knelt in the middle of the street, his lover sprawled against his knees and chest. There was blood on his clothes and he was crying those awful, wracking sobs again, but there were no obvious wounds that Jaejoong could see. Yunho had not fared as well.
It must be his blood, Jaejoong thought clinically. The gun shots that had torn his chest were exit wounds, he noted. Which meant he'd been shot from behind. “Fucking cowards,” he muttered. “Call an ambulance, Junsu.”
On either side of the street, YG and the 5-11 lined the sidewalks, guns out and looking as if they weren't quite sure what to do.
Teddy stood over the pair, still yelling obscenities and threats that Changmin was clearly ignoring in his grief. That he hadn't fired on Changmin yet was probably the only reason he was alive.
The 5-11 clearly didn't know how to handle a member of a rival gang shooting another member of the same gang in the middle of their territory, especially given the long-standing order not to give Soo Min a reason to come down on them.
Most of YG simply looked horrified that one of their own had struck down another, though they were still willing to protect him for the moment.
Jaejoong didn't like putting himself in the middle of the potential crossfire, but Changmin was in no condition to get himself out of the line of fire. Besides, someone with a clear head needed to see if Yunho was still alive or not.
“Jaejoong!” Junsu hissed as he walked as confidently and as boldly as he could manage towards the pair of lovers, completely ignoring Teddy and trusting his brothers to have his back. “Dammit.”
He knew the moment Teddy's tirade stopped and the gun swung around to fix on him, but Jaejoong fought down the urge to reach for his own gun. Anger and violence simmered in the air and he knew it would only take one wrong move from him for it to erupt completely.
“Changmin, Changmin, look at me.” There was so much grief in the dark eyes that finally swung up to meet his. Jaejoong felt his own heart break at the sight of his cousin's sorrow. He knelt next to them. “Let me see, Minnie. It'll be okay.”
It wouldn't, though. Even though Yunho was still struggling to draw in shaky, stuttering breaths, Jaejoong could hear the wet, bubbly sound. He'd drown in his own blood before any ambulance arrived.
“What the hell is going on?”
Jaejoong glanced up to see Taebin pushing his way through the men and women who lined the YG side of the street.
The older man froze for an instant that seemed to last an eternity, horrible knowledge on his face as he took in the bloody sight of his brother, dying in Changmin's arms. One hand came up to press against his mouth as his feet started moving again, bringing him closer.
Breath held, Jaejoong reached back for his own gun. Taebin was usually an even tempered sort, for all that Jaejoong couldn't stand him, but this... Jaejoong could only imagine how he'd react if it was Junsu or Junho. Or Changmin. The gun was a comfortable, familiar weight in his hand that he hoped he wouldn't need.
“You...” Tortured eyes took in the same scene, the same knowledge that Jaejoong's had before swinging up to land on Teddy. “You killed him?”
The fanatical light in Teddy's glazed eyes hadn't dimmed a bit and Jaejoong had to wonder if he was on drugs. He could think of nothing else to account for the way the man seemed to miss the dangerous edge to the question. Teddy had never been stupid before. Just crazy. “Fucking pussy-ass whore was laying down for that 511 scum, Tae. He fucking deserved it.”
A rippled murmur of disbelief spread through the gathered gangs. Undoubtedly, some of them shared Teddy's opinion, YG and 5-11 alike.
But none of them would have ever said that, not to either of their leaders, not about beloved family members.
There was no warning. One moment Teddy was standing there, looking ready to continue his hateful rant, the next his eyes widened in obvious shock as Taebin emptied an entire clip into his chest. He hit the ground with a hard thud that Jaejoong spitefully hoped was painful.
Taebin didn't bother to see if the man was dead. He dropped to his knees on the opposite side from Jaejoong, gun falling from limp fingers as he reached out to stroke Yunho's cheek with his other hand.
Yunho managed a pained smile. “hey... bro...”
It made Jaejoong's stomach threaten outright revolt to see the tiny bubbles of blood that escaped with the whispered words.
“Stupid, stupid, little..” Silent tears slipped unchecked down Taebin's cheeks. “I told you to go straight to the train station.”
“Sorry...”
Changmin clutched at his dying lover, his face buried in bloodstained hair. “Sshh.. You have to.. You have to save your breath, Yunnie,” he scolded, his voice thready and painful to hear. “Help is coming. You just.. You just have to hold on.”
“Min...” A wealth of sadness and regret flickered across Yunho's face and Jaejoong had to turn away. “love you...”
This wasn't a moment he felt comfortable intruding on. Let them have their last goodbyes in whatever peace they could.
"I love you, too... so much... You can't.. you can't leave... please... help is on the way...."
Around them, he could see Junsu and Junho trying to keep the onlookers back and make a path for the ambulance that could be heard approaching.
Too late, he thought bitterly, knowing that gang territory had the last priority to any official. Not that a quicker response would have mattered.
Behind him, there was a last shuddering breath and a sharp cry from Changmin and Jaejoong clenched his eyes shut.
“No. No. Save him,” Changmin pleaded, his voice small and broken and filled with more pain than Jaejoong could bear.
He turned back around, tears stinging at his own eyes. “I can't, Minnie.”
Changmin shook his head sharply, trembling mouth compressing fiercely. “Save him!”
It was the demand of a child wanting miracles that couldn't be provided, no matter how much Jaejoong wished he could. “I can't.”
“You won't.” Changmin bit out. “You hated him. You're glad this happened!”
Unreasonable as it was, the accusations stung. Jaejoong held out his hands in entreaty. “I didn't hate him, Minnie. I didn't even know him.”
Not that it had stopped him from killing rival gang members in the past. Bitter knowledge filled Changmin's expression as he scooped up the gun Jaejoong had set down and swung it wildly from gang leader to gang leader. “You did this! Both of you!”
Though Taebin simply eyed the gun with an empty expression, Jaejoong scuttled back a bit, his arms stretching out further. “You don't want to do that Minnie.”
“We were happy! Why couldn't you just leave us alone?!”
“Minnie-“
“Don't! Don't try to pretend you're sorry now!”
“I wasn't- NO!”
But it happened too fast for him to do more than fall backwards onto his butt and watch in stunned disbelief as Changmin turned the gun on himself.
His breath came in shallow pants and he stared wide-eyed.
“Changmin...”
He wasn't sure how long he sat there, numb with shock. Knowledge hadn't quite settled in properly when a vaguely familiar cop wrapped a blanket around his shoulders and led him away to an ambulance.
He wanted to tell the man he wasn't hurt, but somehow he couldn't find the words. It was like all of his breath had gone out of the world with his cousin's.
“I'm sorry, Kim. I really am, but I need you to focus or things are going to get pretty chaotic, okay? Are you listening to me? Jaejoong.” Finally the voice seeped through and he stared blankly at the police officer.
“Yoochun...”
The man looked startled for a moment before giving a sympathetic half-smile. “I wasn't sure you remembered me.”
“It's been a while.”
“Yeah...” Yoochun glanced around towards where the coroner was wrapping things up. “Look, Jaejoong. I need you to pull yourself together, okay? Soo Min is going to move people in to clean up the mess, but tempers are going to be all over the place for awhile and you need to make sure the 5-11 lays low, okay? Official story will be that they killed each other, but that won't keep the brass from coming down hard with a strong police presence if it starts to look like an all out gang war is about to start. That's bad news for everyone.”
Jaejoong laughed bitterly. Once upon a time, he'd held a tiny shred of respect for his old friend who'd risen above their humble beginnings to take an actual law-abiding place in society.
Except that he hadn't, apparently.
Part of him wished he could close his eyes and wake up somewhere else, far removed from the violence and crime of this world. He remembered two forms wrapped around each other, swaying in time with music he hadn't understood. Maybe he should have been a dancer, instead.
Maybe Changmin and Yunho had the right of it all along.
A faint, sad smile quirked his lips.
Maybe they had indeed.
“Jaejoong?”
“Tell Soo Min to fuck off.”
“What the-“
Jaejoong got up, dropping the blanket to the ground and started walking away.
“Jaejoong! Soo Min won't stand for this. He'll have your head.”
Jaejoong flipped Yoochun off and went to collect what was left of his family.
He'd already lost too much to this life.
Maybe it was time to walk away before he lost anymore.
~*~*~
The End.
Length: One-shot
Author: M_K Yujji
Rating: R, mostly for mature themes and language
Genre: drama, angst, romantic tragedy
Pairing/Characters: Jaejoong, Taebin, MinHo - uses a mix of YG and SM, but those are the main ones.
Warnings: AU, RPS, violence, death/murder/suicide, homo-phobic character(s)
Disclaimer: Though real people are used as characters, this fic bears no resemblance to Real Life and these people are not owned by me.
Comments/Notes: When I sat down to write yesterday, this was not what I had intended. It's probably the longest thing I've ever written in one big fit of inspiration. My beta went to sleep in the middle of the last scene, so... it's beta'd up to that point. Hopefully there aren't too many mistakes after that.
It bears noting that all of my knowledge of how gangs and organized crime work comes from too many episodes of CSI and Law&Order. So... -_-; yeah.... Sorry about blatant strangeness.
Also, this fic has two 'prequels' that were written to be read after the fic itself.
~~~~Changmin's Song: Wild Soul
~~~~Yunho's Song: From Way Before
Summary: He'd thought that getting stronger, taking control, would make things easier. Better. He'd been wrong.
~*~*~
Life in a gang had sounded great when he was a kid. Growing up in a rough neighborhood with no one else to protect him from the bad things in the night... it had seemed like a haven.
It was only as he got older that he had realized how very imprisoning it really was.
He'd thought that getting stronger, taking control, would make things easier. Better.
He'd been wrong.
All he'd done was add a few more bars to the prison.
~*~*~
“Hey, JaeJae, phone call~” Junsu bounced passed, dropping the phone in Jaejoong's lap as he went.
His brother's boundless energy was exhausting just to watch, so Jaejoong didn't try. Instead, he tucked the phone between his shoulder and his ear and frowned at the neat little columns of math.
Why had no one ever warned him that there was paperwork involved with being a big gang boss?
“I can't make it to the club tonight, Jaejoong.”
Jaejoong frowned, snagging a calculator. Math had never been his strong suit, but it all looked wrong to him. “Don't tell me things like that, Min. Tell me instead, where you're at and why I'm sitting here trying to make heads or tails out of these damned books.”
There was a sigh. “Which books are you looking at Jaejoong? The green ones or the red ones?”
Blink, blink. “There's more than one set of books?”
“Oh for crying out loud... Jaejoong, half of the money we get in is illegal. Of course there's two sets of books.”
Which at least explained why everything looked so topsy turvy. “See, obviously I need you to get your ass here right now so that I don't have to give myself a headache over this shit. I pay you to do this for me, Minnie.”
When he'd wrested control of the gang from HeeChul, he'd taken one look at the mess the man had made out of everything and immediately brought his cousin in to fix it. Never mind that he'd originally intended to keep Changmin as far away from the gang as possible.
“You don't pay me at all.”
“That new laptop was expensive. So was your PC. And all those damned books. And of course-“
“Okay, okay. You pay me in non-taxable ways. Jaejoong, just leave the books, okay? I'll finish all of the paperwork tomorrow. I'll even walk you through them if you want, but I'm busy tonight.”
“But I need you to-“
“I've got to go.”
“Changmin-“
“I'll be home later.”
“Chang-“
Jaejoong glared at the phone in his hand with wide eyes. Changmin had hung up on him.
“JaeJae?”
“He hung up on me.”
“What?”
“That little bastard hung up on me.”
No one hung up on Kim Jaejoong. Especially not scrawny, snot-nosed little cousins who had been becoming more and more disrespectful and disobedient of late.
“Ah, must be distracted by his girlfriend.”
Cold, suspicious eyes pinned Junsu. “What girlfriend? Who is she? When did they start dating?”
Junsu shrugged, looking distinctly uncomfortable with the questioning. “I don't know. He wouldn't talk about her.”
“Then how do you know there's a girl?” Jae ground out. Sometimes getting information out of Junsu was worse than having teeth pulled. Jaejoong had never been sure if it was because the younger boy was afraid of his uncertain temper or if it was because Junsu enjoyed provoking him.
“Well....” Junsu rubbed the back of his neck. “He's come home with hickies a lot, recently.”
Jaejoong pushed away from the desk and sighed. A girl would explain Changmin's sudden reckless disobedience. He'd seen it happen before. Girls were the bane of existence for any gang leader. They made grown men do the stupidest things. “Any idea who she is?”
“Not really... He was being secretive,” which wasn't unusual for Changmin. No one held his secrets closer to his chest than their resident computer geek, even when the secret was as silly as what he'd had for lunch that day. “He got a phone call from a dance studio over on 160th, though and lit up like some kind of Christmas tree. I think it was her.”
Changmin might have been in charge of paperwork and computers, but Junsu kept tabs on all the phone calls coming in and out. Mostly it was to keep track of possible rats and moles, but it made keeping track of the rest of his people easier, too.
But Changmin knew that as well as anyone else and if he was trying to keep it a secret.... “He wouldn't let her call from anywhere we could use to actually track her down.”
“Unless he knew that we'd think that.”
“...” Jaejoong rubbed the bridge of his nose. It was too complicated a thought process for most people and he almost snapped at Junsu for adding to his usual paranoia. Except it was Changmin. And he was that complicated. “I don't have time to worry about it tonight. I have to meet Soo Min about the shipment that's coming in next week.”
“He'll ask about Changmin.”
There weren't many people that Jaejoong feared or respected, but Soo Min got both from him. The man was head of the largest crime organization in the country. Even the police tended to give him and his people a wide berth. Actually, Jaejoong had a strong suspicion that Soo Min owned half the officers in the city.
He was observant and patient, filing away seemingly random bits of information that he later used with all the cold, calculation of a tiger stalking unsuspecting prey. He made Jaejoong uneasy simply by being in the same room and Jaejoong hated him for that.
“It can't be helped.” If Jaejoong knew exactly where Changmin was, he'd go and get the little bastard and force him to fulfill his obligations. He didn't know and he didn't have time to run around trying to figure it out. “If anything goes wrong, I'll have Changmin's head on a platter.”
Cousin or not.
~*~*~
It was almost two o'clock in the morning when the apartment door cracked open and a dark form tried to slip through unnoticed.
Unluckily for Changmin, Jaejoong was sitting up waiting for him in the darkness of the kitchen.
Jaejoong took vengeful pleasure in the way Changmin startled at seeing his face in the glow from the opened refrigerator. “Jaejoong! What are you doing up?”
“It's two o'clock, Changmin. Unless you're out with me, your curfew is midnight.”
Changmin scowled at him, snagging a plate of spring rolls that had been left over from dinner. “I'm not one of your thugs, Jaejoong. I have the right to come and go as I please.”
“It's as much for your safety as it is for anything else. I have enemies, Changmin. Those enemies aren't going to care that you think you're above the rest of the gang.”
“I never even wanted to be part of your stupid gang,” Changmin bit out, dumping the rolls onto a plate and shoving them into the microwave. “You just rushed in where only the stupid tread and realized if you didn't drag me into it, you'd end up in jail or worse.”
Never had Jaejoong heard Changmin talk like that before. In the years since he'd taken things over, Changmin hadn't balked once, he had simply done as he was asked. Sometimes the things he asked for in return seemed extravagant to Jaejoong, but considering he'd taken all consideration of a self-planned future out of the boy's hands, he hadn't complained. Not too much, anyway. “I didn't realize you felt that way.”
“You never asked.” Changmin sighed and stared at the microwave. “You never do. About anything. It's your way or no way.”
“Changmin-“
“I'm eighteen and everything in my life revolves around the 5-11. I don't get to do anything that my classmates do. I didn't even get to go to prom. I'm tired of it. You don't get to say what I do when I'm not keeping your ass out of trouble, anymore. It's my business.” The boy took his rolls before the microwave went off and stormed out of the room, leaving a contemplative Jaejoong behind to stare after him.
~*~*~
“Get me the address of the dance club. And I want to know the next time he goes out to meet this girl.”
“JaeJae. He's practically grown now, you know.”
“Just do it, Junsu.”
“...” A deep sigh. “Consider it done.”
~*~*~
Jaejoong sat in the 24hr diner and café across from the ancient looking building that he now knew housed a dance studio. Looking up the building information would have been as easy as a computer search with Changmin's help, but Jaejoong could charm the pants right off of any girl he chose. Getting complete details from the homely waitress at the café was a simple matter of a smile and some casually asked questions. He almost felt sorry for her, the way she drank up his attention as if no one had ever given her any in her life. Almost.
The first floor was taken up by a shop that sold dance apparel and other things that Jaejoong only barely understood. The three floors above it had been converted into a dance school that opened its doors to all ages. The waitress had rattled on about how her 5 year old niece was learning ballet from a ruggedly handsome man. Personally, Jaejoong didn't see what could be all that rugged or handsome about any man who taught dancing to little kids for a living.
He glanced at his watch again and sipped at his coffee, waiting. Junsu had been upwards of 75% sure that Changmin was going to be meeting his secret girl tonight and so far, the dance studio seemed to be where most of her phone calls were coming from. It was as good a place to start as any. Jaejoong had delegated his more pressing business duties onto his siblings and had resigned himself to waiting as long as it took to solve this particular mystery.
Three hours later, his bladder practically floating in all the coffee he'd had, Jaejoong was starting to doubt his own resolve.
Sighing, he propped his chin on one fist and stared out at the building with glazed eyes.
His mind was drifting around nothing in particular and he almost missed it. If Changmin had been simply walking along the street like a normal passer-by, Jaejoong wouldn't have even noticed him even if he'd walked through the front door. It was the sneaking that captured his attention.
He sat up straight and watched with great interest as Changmin glanced around before slipping into the alleyway that went to the back of the dance studio's building.
“Caught you,” Jaejoong whispered, satisfaction heavy in his voice. He dropped enough money to cover his tab on the table and slipped out to follow his errant cousin.
A muffled crashing sound and light curses in a familiar voice kept Jaejoong from going around the back corner of the building too soon. He peered around to see Changmin righting a fallen trash can with a glower before pulling down the ladder for the fire escape and scrambling up it with less than his usual grace.
Jaejoong arched a brow and sighed. Obviously the boy was worse than smitten if it was making him that clumsy.
He watched as the boy scaled up to the fourth floor and eased a window open. The loud, pulsing beat of a foreign dance song poured out into the night air. For a long minute, Changmin just sat in the window sill, too far away from Jaejoong to actually see his face, then the song ended and he slipped in.
Just as he was closing the window, another song kicked on.
Jaejoong shook his head. Music that loud was guaranteed to deafen someone, but at least it meant he could climb up the ladder without anyone noticing. He didn't want Changmin to get the chance to hide the girl, after all.
He'd just reached the ladder when a familiar voice stopped him.
“You won't like it.”
The gun was in his hand before he even turned fully around, but his rival just flicked his cigarette.
“What the hell are you doing here?”
Im Taebin just snorted in quiet amusement. “This is YG territory, or didn't you notice?”
Was it? Jaejoong glanced upwards and scowled. That meant Changmin was probably seeing someone with ties to YG, maybe even a full member - YG was less picky about that than his own gang was.
It also meant Jaejoong couldn't just shoot Taebin without starting an all out gang war. That was something he'd been trying to avoid. Soo Min had made his own disdain for petty gang fighting well known. He claimed it was bad for business and no one had any doubt that he'd smash whoever started such a war like they were cockroaches.
Small skirmishes were one thing.
Killing the seemingly-unarmed rival gang leader, unprovoked in his own territory....
Jaejoong put his own gun away. “Smug bastard.”
He'd be dead before he could make it back to his own territory and probably Changmin with him.
“And you're an asshole. We all have our little quirks.”
“Who is it?”
Taebin smiled beatifically. “You can go look if you're so curious. I won't stop you.”
Scowling, Jaejoong backed his way towards the ladder. There was no way he was turning his back on Taebin. Seemingly-unarmed was not the same as unarmed. Only an insane man would walk around without a gun with the number of enemies one made rising up to the top as they had.
He could tell his precaution amused the other man, but Taebin just leaned back against the building on the other side of the alley and watched him.
As he crept up the fire escape, he could feel the slight vibrations that trembled through the metal. How could they even hear themselves think, never mind hear an enemy creep up on them?
Even if he decided to let the relationship continue unimpeded, he was obviously going to have to have a talk with Changmin about watching his - and his girl's - back more carefully.
The window rattled slightly and music spilled out from the crack that Changmin had left. He jerked away when he realized that Changmin still hadn't moved very far from the window. His cousin wasn't paying any attention to the window behind him though, and even as Jaejoong was grateful that it let him sneak closer, he cursed the boy's stupidity. It was going to get him killed some day.
The wall directly across from the window was lined in show posters. The other walls he could see were lined with mirrors. He was thankful that wasn't on the opposite wall or else it would have put his reflection in Changmin's line of sight.
A whirling blur dressed in sweats and a t-shirt passed in front of him and Jaejoong sucked in a hissing breath.
Not a girl. A boy.
For the last chorus of the song, all Jaejoong could do was stare at the dancing figure, wide-eyed in disbelief.
Then the music ended and the boy walked over to turn the stereo down. Changmin pushed himself away from the window and stalked his companion with all the grace that had been missing in his mad scramble up the fire escape.
It took all of his self-control to keep Jaejoong where he was as he watched his cousin catch the other boy at the stereo with an enthusiastic kiss and embrace. The urge to slam the window up and demand that Changmin go home right this instant was nearly overwhelming.
What the hell was the kid thinking?
Then they parted long enough for Jaejoong to actually see the boy's face and all the blood left his face.
No fucking way.
No fucking way in hell would Changmin be that stupid.
Except that obviously, he was.
He couldn't hear what they were saying through the window or over the still-playing music and he'd never learned to lip-read, but their expressions were sickeningly sweet and earnest. He watched as Changmin pulled the other boy, laughing, back out onto the floor to dance something more intimate.
They swayed and turned in soft gentle movements, each looking genuinely happy and in love and Jaejoong swallowed the bitter anger that still wanted to spill out. He hadn't seen Changmin look that happy since before his parents had died and he'd ended up in Jaejoong's occasionally less-than-stellar care.
The kissing started again, deepening and becoming a lot less innocent and Jaejoong wrinkled his nose before backing away. The unspoken guy code that you never, ever interrupted a guy about to get laid still applied even when it was two guys, right?
Besides, he needed to think. Preferably somewhere that wouldn't make him want to start paddling his stupid, stubborn cousin. That thought was quickly followed by the distasteful one that Changmin might like it and he pulled his hair with a growl. He was quite happy not knowing what his baby cousin might or might not like for sex.
Forget thinking. He needed to get drunk. Maybe then he could wash all memory of this incident from his mind.
“I told you you wouldn't like it,” Taebin said as Jaejoong jumped off the fire escape several rungs from the bottom.
Jaejoong scowled at the man. “You don't seem very upset by it.”
The older man shrugged and lit a new cigerette. Had he really been up there that long, then? “Why should I be upset? They're grown men.”
“You mean to tell me that it doesn't bother you in the slightest that my cousin is fucking your little brother?”
If Changmin had to get involved with a guy - which was enough to get him beat if the wrong people found out - did it have to be Jung Yunho? The younger half-brother to YGs leader hadn't been actively involved in any gang activities recently, but at one point he'd been Taebin's second-in-command.
“I'm pretty sure it's a little of both, actually.” Taebin sucked in a nicotine filled breath and leaned his head against the wall with closed eyes. “He's happy. Why should that bother me?”
It struck Jaejoong suddenly, like epiphanies were wont to do. This had obviously not been the first time Changmin had come here and if he'd ever been accosted doing it, Jaejoong would have heard about the entire mess sooner. He hadn't heard so much as a whisper about the couple and his information network was good - even without Changmin. “You're protecting them.”
The slight smile quirked at the edge of Taebin's lips was barely noticible, but it was enough.
“How long?”
Taebin shrugged. “Almost a year, now.”
“How...” Jaejoong swallowed hard. How had his cousin, the baby he thought he knew so well, been hiding this from him for so long? No need to ask why, given their last 'conversation'.
A look of cold deliberation settled onto Taebin's face. “It's not really any of our business what they do as long as it doesn't get them killed, right?”
The threat in his tone was impossible to miss and Jaejoong bristled automatically. But at the same time... He glanced back up the fire escape and shook his head. “If it does get them killed, I'm holding you personally responsible.”
Taebin's quiet laughter followed him as he stormed away.
~*~*~
Occasionally Junsu showed actual survival instinct and knew when to steer clear of his older brother. Usually, though, it was his twin, Junho, that actually kept him from ending up splattered across the six o'clock news as a domestic violence fatality.
A week passed.
Changmin slipped out to meet Yunho at least two more times and each of those nights he returned, unharmed and happy.
It was a week spent gathering information while his siblings watched him with cautious curiosity and handled their day to day business. Everything he could find confirmed his own sketchy knowledge. After a particularly vicious skirmish between the 5-11 and YG - one that Jaejoong had apparently been present for, though he couldn't pin down any specific memories of it - Jung Yunho had faded from the scene. He'd been replaced as Taebin's second by Teddy Park, an annoying prick of an egotist that never failed to piss Jaejoong off any time they ended up within sight of each other. Honestly, though, Jaejoong had preferred dealing with him to Jung. The boy had always been too nice. Jaejoong had felt like he was picking on a little kid. It was much easier to taunt and threaten someone as hateful as Park. He could almost see what had appealed to Changmin even if the entire guy thing still left a sour taste in his mouth.
The gang leader had just about decided to hold his own council and let the boy sort out his personal life without interference when Changmin came back after a third nightly visit with a bloody nose and a black eye.
“I hope you at least put up a good fight.”
Changmin scowled at him, opening up the freezer and grabbing a bag of frozen peas. “Shut up.”
Though Jaejoong arched a brow, he remained silent, just watching. He could wait the boy out. It gave him time to consider who his cousin might have tangled with. No one from their gang or else he'd have been called in to sort it all out. It could have been a random mugging or one of the other handful of gangs that littered the city, but somehow Jaejoong doubted it. Considering where Changmin had been hanging out, it was most likely one of the YGs. Jung had never struck him as the abusive boyfriend type and whatever anyone said about Taebin, the man loved his brother. He protected the kid's happiness too fiercely to have suddenly decided to attack the boyfriend he'd been helping protect for so long.
Which meant someone else had found out. Someone who didn't give a shit about whether the boys were happy or not. “So which YG thug do we need to go beat up?”
Finally Changmin sighed. “You already know about Yunho.”
Jaejoong tapped his nose and looked smug. “I always knew you were the smart one.”
“And you're an asshole,” Changmin retorted without any real heat. He looked too miserable to muster up the righteous indignation he usually would have. He laid his head, pea bag and all, down on the table. “Teddy caught us.”
“That couldn't have gone well.” Teddy wasn't Taebin's second on the weight of their friendship alone. He was a tough bastard and his passionate hatred for 511s and homosexuality in general was well known fact. More than one fight had erupted between the gangs simply because Teddy had blown a fuse at seeing friendly greetings that he'd considered too friendly.
Personally, Jaejoong figured he was just in deep denial and taking it out on everyone else.
Changmin sighed again and closed his eyes. “I thought Yunho was going to kill him, but Taebin showed up.”
The other gang leader had probably been hovering nearby. Jaejoong scowled at the thought. Taebin should have stopped Teddy from getting to them at all.
“Tell me everything that happened, Min. Not just pieces.” He needed to know just how bad it was, if they were going to have to keep Changmin under house arrest and armed guard until it all blew over.
“We were just minding our own business, dancing in the studio... That's usually what we do,” Changmin clarified, though he seemed resigned to the knowledge that Jaejoong already knew everything there was to know about his relationship with Yunho.
“You had the music up too loud and didn't hear him coming,” Jaejoong concluded, disgusted more at himself than Changmin or Yunho. He'd known he should have said something about it, but he'd thought Taebin would be enough protection.
Changmin winced and looked up, guilty. “I guess. One second it was just me and him lost in our own little world, the next I was picking myself up out of the stereo system and Teddy and Yunho were at each other's throats.” His entire face crumbled, half-suppressed sobs and hiccups escaping as he fought for control and Jaejoong was too stunned to react for a long moment. Changmin didn't cry, period. It was one of the basic constants of their lives. Jaejoong would always be an asshole, Junsu would always be annoying, Junho would always be the steady rock. And Changmin never, ever cried.
Not when both of his parents had been gunned down without mercy by drugged up carjackers. Not when the harried social worker had deposited him on Jaejoong's worn, thread-bare couch with little more care than she'd have shown dropping a puppy off at the pound. Not even when he'd found himself neck deep in a life of barely getting by through illegal activities that would have had his parents rolling over in their graves.
It shook Jaejoong badly and it was a few moments before he recovered himself enough to reach over and thread his fingers through Changmin's hair in wordless comfort.
Teary-eyed, it took Changmin even longer to calm down enough to speak again and his voice was scratchy and hushed when he did. “Taebin said it was safer for me to come home and stay low for a while. That Teddy wouldn't touch Yunho again, but he'd consider me fair game if he could catch me.”
YG lacked the same infighting that Jaejoong had to contend with. Taebin held a rigid policy within his gang. He settled arguments and anyone who didn't like it was more than welcome to fight him for leadership. Most people weren't that stupid. It worked for him, but Jaejoong didn't want to have to deal with that kind of headache. He wasn't anyone's daddy and he didn't see the need to act like it.
That meant that if Teddy wanted any kind of twisted justice for any imagined slight that Yunho had made, he'd have to get it through Changmin or face Taebin's wrath. Which he'd have faced anyway, simply because Yunho was Taebin's beloved brother.
“He's probably right.”
Changmin drooped even further, apparently hoping that Jaejoong would have given him cause to dispute Taebin's decision. “It's not fair.”
Jaejoong snorted and tugged on Changmin's hair. “Life isn't fair, Minnie.” The affectionate pet name slipped out without thought, even though he hadn't used it in years. “I thought you knew that already.”
~*~*~
For days, Changmin moped around the apartment looking like someone had shot his puppy. He'd sit and stare at his computer screen for long hours without ever actually doing anything. Any amount of cajoling or jokes was met with monosyllabic replies. Food was turned away with nothing more than a depressed sigh.
It was driving everyone crazy, but there was little Jaejoong could do to remedy the situation other than try to keep Changmin too busy to really think about it. They were in the middle of negotiations with Soo Min, after all, and Jaejoong had neglected things long enough.
But business was handled with half-hearted enthusiasm at best and more than once Jaejoong caught Soo Min watching his cousin with quiet speculation.
It was becoming worrisome.
~*~*~
“This can't go on, JaeJae. He won't even eat. Let him see his girl.”
“It's too dangerous right now.”
“Why?”
“Ask him yourself.”
“He won't even tell Junho.”
“Then maybe it isn't any of your business.”
“You're an asshole.”
“Everyone keeps saying that.”
~*~*~
“Where do you think you're going?” Jaejoong asked, leaning against the door jam as he watched Changmin stuff clothes into a duffle bag.
“We're leaving. Fuck both gangs.” Changmin offered a brief glare of defiance, but didn't stop his quick packing.
He seemed determined to do what he wanted whatever Jaejoong had to say to the contrary.
Jaejoong sighed and wished Junsu and Junho hadn't insisted that he not smoke in the apartment. He could really use a rush of nicotine just then. “You don't have any money.”
“Yunho has plenty.”
“Where will you go?” It didn't seem like Changmin was going to be reasonable and Jaejoong wasn't entirely sure he blamed the other. His life didn't leave much time for relationships, but after seeing how happy Changmin had been with Yunho, the difference from the boy's every day resignation was startlingly apparent. Would he leave for that kind of happiness?
Maybe. If there really was a chance to hold on to it.
“I don't know,” Changmin said with a shrug. “I guess we'll take the first bus out of town and see where it takes us.”
How... haphazard.
“Can he get away without attracting any attention?”
Changmin stopped and bit his lip, glancing up uncertainly at Jaejoong. He'd probably expected more fight than he was getting. He shrugged again. “He said Taebin would make a distraction.”
If Taebin was willing to let his baby brother go, help him get away even, to let him be happy in some far off place with Changmin, could Jaejoong really do any differently?
“You don't call us to let us know you're okay, I'll hunt you down and beat you up.”
A shy smile lit Changmin's face, making him look like the boy he should have been instead of the premature adult Jaejoong had forced him to become. He slung his bag over a shoulder and stepped over to hug Jaejoong tightly. “Thank you, Jaejoong.”
For a moment, Jaejoong returned the embrace just as tightly, then he pulled back and shoved Changmin almost playfully towards the door. “Oh go on and get out of here, brat.”
~*~*~
“JAEJOONG!”
The use of his full name from Junsu was enough to jerk Jaejoong's attention away from Soo Min entirely.
Junsu never called him by his full name. The younger man completely ignored the scowling guards Soo Min had fanned throughout the room as he slid to a stop, nearly toppling Jaejoong over.
“What the hell-“
“Min-“ but he was panting to hard to get it out, so he simply pulled frantically at Jaejoong's sleeve. “YG. Min.”
It was enough to make Jaejoong's blood run cold.
There were too many things that could have happened to guess exactly, but none of them boded well for his cousin.
Jaejoong barely managed a bow and a quick plea for forgiveness to Soo Min before rushing back out to the bikes Junsu and Junho had waiting.
Some things were more important than business.
~*~*~
It happened on 5-11 territory, so they didn't have far to go.
Still, by the time they arrived it was too late to be much help.
Jaejoong took in the scene in a heartbeat, the weight and tension on his shoulders only lessening when he realized that Changmin seemed unhurt where he knelt in the middle of the street, his lover sprawled against his knees and chest. There was blood on his clothes and he was crying those awful, wracking sobs again, but there were no obvious wounds that Jaejoong could see. Yunho had not fared as well.
It must be his blood, Jaejoong thought clinically. The gun shots that had torn his chest were exit wounds, he noted. Which meant he'd been shot from behind. “Fucking cowards,” he muttered. “Call an ambulance, Junsu.”
On either side of the street, YG and the 5-11 lined the sidewalks, guns out and looking as if they weren't quite sure what to do.
Teddy stood over the pair, still yelling obscenities and threats that Changmin was clearly ignoring in his grief. That he hadn't fired on Changmin yet was probably the only reason he was alive.
The 5-11 clearly didn't know how to handle a member of a rival gang shooting another member of the same gang in the middle of their territory, especially given the long-standing order not to give Soo Min a reason to come down on them.
Most of YG simply looked horrified that one of their own had struck down another, though they were still willing to protect him for the moment.
Jaejoong didn't like putting himself in the middle of the potential crossfire, but Changmin was in no condition to get himself out of the line of fire. Besides, someone with a clear head needed to see if Yunho was still alive or not.
“Jaejoong!” Junsu hissed as he walked as confidently and as boldly as he could manage towards the pair of lovers, completely ignoring Teddy and trusting his brothers to have his back. “Dammit.”
He knew the moment Teddy's tirade stopped and the gun swung around to fix on him, but Jaejoong fought down the urge to reach for his own gun. Anger and violence simmered in the air and he knew it would only take one wrong move from him for it to erupt completely.
“Changmin, Changmin, look at me.” There was so much grief in the dark eyes that finally swung up to meet his. Jaejoong felt his own heart break at the sight of his cousin's sorrow. He knelt next to them. “Let me see, Minnie. It'll be okay.”
It wouldn't, though. Even though Yunho was still struggling to draw in shaky, stuttering breaths, Jaejoong could hear the wet, bubbly sound. He'd drown in his own blood before any ambulance arrived.
“What the hell is going on?”
Jaejoong glanced up to see Taebin pushing his way through the men and women who lined the YG side of the street.
The older man froze for an instant that seemed to last an eternity, horrible knowledge on his face as he took in the bloody sight of his brother, dying in Changmin's arms. One hand came up to press against his mouth as his feet started moving again, bringing him closer.
Breath held, Jaejoong reached back for his own gun. Taebin was usually an even tempered sort, for all that Jaejoong couldn't stand him, but this... Jaejoong could only imagine how he'd react if it was Junsu or Junho. Or Changmin. The gun was a comfortable, familiar weight in his hand that he hoped he wouldn't need.
“You...” Tortured eyes took in the same scene, the same knowledge that Jaejoong's had before swinging up to land on Teddy. “You killed him?”
The fanatical light in Teddy's glazed eyes hadn't dimmed a bit and Jaejoong had to wonder if he was on drugs. He could think of nothing else to account for the way the man seemed to miss the dangerous edge to the question. Teddy had never been stupid before. Just crazy. “Fucking pussy-ass whore was laying down for that 511 scum, Tae. He fucking deserved it.”
A rippled murmur of disbelief spread through the gathered gangs. Undoubtedly, some of them shared Teddy's opinion, YG and 5-11 alike.
But none of them would have ever said that, not to either of their leaders, not about beloved family members.
There was no warning. One moment Teddy was standing there, looking ready to continue his hateful rant, the next his eyes widened in obvious shock as Taebin emptied an entire clip into his chest. He hit the ground with a hard thud that Jaejoong spitefully hoped was painful.
Taebin didn't bother to see if the man was dead. He dropped to his knees on the opposite side from Jaejoong, gun falling from limp fingers as he reached out to stroke Yunho's cheek with his other hand.
Yunho managed a pained smile. “hey... bro...”
It made Jaejoong's stomach threaten outright revolt to see the tiny bubbles of blood that escaped with the whispered words.
“Stupid, stupid, little..” Silent tears slipped unchecked down Taebin's cheeks. “I told you to go straight to the train station.”
“Sorry...”
Changmin clutched at his dying lover, his face buried in bloodstained hair. “Sshh.. You have to.. You have to save your breath, Yunnie,” he scolded, his voice thready and painful to hear. “Help is coming. You just.. You just have to hold on.”
“Min...” A wealth of sadness and regret flickered across Yunho's face and Jaejoong had to turn away. “love you...”
This wasn't a moment he felt comfortable intruding on. Let them have their last goodbyes in whatever peace they could.
"I love you, too... so much... You can't.. you can't leave... please... help is on the way...."
Around them, he could see Junsu and Junho trying to keep the onlookers back and make a path for the ambulance that could be heard approaching.
Too late, he thought bitterly, knowing that gang territory had the last priority to any official. Not that a quicker response would have mattered.
Behind him, there was a last shuddering breath and a sharp cry from Changmin and Jaejoong clenched his eyes shut.
“No. No. Save him,” Changmin pleaded, his voice small and broken and filled with more pain than Jaejoong could bear.
He turned back around, tears stinging at his own eyes. “I can't, Minnie.”
Changmin shook his head sharply, trembling mouth compressing fiercely. “Save him!”
It was the demand of a child wanting miracles that couldn't be provided, no matter how much Jaejoong wished he could. “I can't.”
“You won't.” Changmin bit out. “You hated him. You're glad this happened!”
Unreasonable as it was, the accusations stung. Jaejoong held out his hands in entreaty. “I didn't hate him, Minnie. I didn't even know him.”
Not that it had stopped him from killing rival gang members in the past. Bitter knowledge filled Changmin's expression as he scooped up the gun Jaejoong had set down and swung it wildly from gang leader to gang leader. “You did this! Both of you!”
Though Taebin simply eyed the gun with an empty expression, Jaejoong scuttled back a bit, his arms stretching out further. “You don't want to do that Minnie.”
“We were happy! Why couldn't you just leave us alone?!”
“Minnie-“
“Don't! Don't try to pretend you're sorry now!”
“I wasn't- NO!”
But it happened too fast for him to do more than fall backwards onto his butt and watch in stunned disbelief as Changmin turned the gun on himself.
His breath came in shallow pants and he stared wide-eyed.
“Changmin...”
He wasn't sure how long he sat there, numb with shock. Knowledge hadn't quite settled in properly when a vaguely familiar cop wrapped a blanket around his shoulders and led him away to an ambulance.
He wanted to tell the man he wasn't hurt, but somehow he couldn't find the words. It was like all of his breath had gone out of the world with his cousin's.
“I'm sorry, Kim. I really am, but I need you to focus or things are going to get pretty chaotic, okay? Are you listening to me? Jaejoong.” Finally the voice seeped through and he stared blankly at the police officer.
“Yoochun...”
The man looked startled for a moment before giving a sympathetic half-smile. “I wasn't sure you remembered me.”
“It's been a while.”
“Yeah...” Yoochun glanced around towards where the coroner was wrapping things up. “Look, Jaejoong. I need you to pull yourself together, okay? Soo Min is going to move people in to clean up the mess, but tempers are going to be all over the place for awhile and you need to make sure the 5-11 lays low, okay? Official story will be that they killed each other, but that won't keep the brass from coming down hard with a strong police presence if it starts to look like an all out gang war is about to start. That's bad news for everyone.”
Jaejoong laughed bitterly. Once upon a time, he'd held a tiny shred of respect for his old friend who'd risen above their humble beginnings to take an actual law-abiding place in society.
Except that he hadn't, apparently.
Part of him wished he could close his eyes and wake up somewhere else, far removed from the violence and crime of this world. He remembered two forms wrapped around each other, swaying in time with music he hadn't understood. Maybe he should have been a dancer, instead.
Maybe Changmin and Yunho had the right of it all along.
A faint, sad smile quirked his lips.
Maybe they had indeed.
“Jaejoong?”
“Tell Soo Min to fuck off.”
“What the-“
Jaejoong got up, dropping the blanket to the ground and started walking away.
“Jaejoong! Soo Min won't stand for this. He'll have your head.”
Jaejoong flipped Yoochun off and went to collect what was left of his family.
He'd already lost too much to this life.
Maybe it was time to walk away before he lost anymore.
~*~*~
The End.