fic: The Game {Chapter 13}
Title: The Game - Chapter 13
Length: Chaptered
Author: M_K Yujji
Rating: PG13
Genre: Drama
Pairing/Characters: MinHo; past-JaeHo
Warnings:
Disclaimer: Though real people are used as characters, this fic bears no resemblance to Real Life and these people are not owned by me.
Comments/Notes: I give up. This fic will end when it wants to and not when I want it to or think it should. >_> Sorry?
~*~*~
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12
~*~*~*~
Summary: Youth is only an excuse for inexperience.
~*~*~*~
The atmosphere in the apartment was noticeably lighter after the night at the club, despite Yunho's absence and Changmin's continued depression.
The silence hadn't lifted yet, but anger and disgust had been replaced by contemplation and consideration.
Yoochun seemed to deem it safe to be seen being friendly with Changmin again - something proved when dinner rolled around one night while Yoochun was going over an English paper with him and plates of bibimbop were placed in front of each of them.
He stared at it suspiciously before looking up at Jaejoong with the same expression. The older man was grinning at him in a way that he hadn't in over a month. “It's poisoned, isn't it?”
Jaejoong pouted while Yoochun laughed helplessly against Min's shoulder. “That's not nice! I wouldn't waste perfectly good bibimbop for that!”
For a man who'd been fighting over simple cookies with him less than a week ago, it seemed an extreme turn around, but far be it for Changmin to question the motives of someone willing to feed him again to closely.
A month of being left to fend for himself had taught him that while he could make do, it was so much nicer to have other people willing to do it for him.
Still he shook his head and sighed as he dug into the food, stealing half of Yoochun's egg because he could. “You're so weird, hyung.”
He wasn't sure if he was relieved or scared when Jaejoong just beamed at him.
~*~*~
A note was taped to Bambi when he started to crawl into bed that night.
Familiar handwriting scrawled out the simple message.
Something you lost is on the roof.
Immediately, his earlier suspicions came back. Maybe Jaejoong had been trying to lull him into a false sense of security and was waiting on the roof to push him over. Maybe he'd hidden a pack of crazed fangirls up there to kidnap him and drag him away and...
He bit his lip.
Maybe he was just letting his imagination run wild.
Even though he told himself it was ridiculous to think Jaejoong had any kind of nefarious reasons for sending him to the roof, it still took Changmin a while to talk himself into going to look.
He took Bambi with him, the plush tucked under one arm. He might need the back up.
There was another note taped to the inside of the door that led outside.
Don't make me regret trusting you again.
Hesitating again, Changmin looked around. Was this a prank? Was Jaejoong going to be hiding somewhere to laugh at his gullibility?
But if anyone was ducked around the corner, they were invisible ninjas and Changmin relaxed. His eldest band mate just wasn't that stealthy.
Pushing open the door, he eased through and stopped on the other side. He wasn't entirely sure what to expect. The notes seemed to imply that Yunho was on the roof, but it could still be a trap.
Against one of the walls that housed the air-conditioning units, a small lean-to had been set up, it's colorful tarp and blankets and the soft, welcoming glow of light seeming to suggest otherwise.
He bit his lip.
If this was Yunho's 'safe' place, then he didn't have any right to be there. If Yunho hadn't told him even while they were dating, then he probably wouldn't appreciate Changmin knowing now.
“Jaejoong?” The soft, questioning sound of Yunho's voice pulled Changmin forward, all thoughts of resisting and going back down to their apartment melting away at the siren's call.
“No... it's me...” he whispered as he rounded the corner of the lean-to and found Yunho settled in a bean bag chair under a big afghan blanket, the light coming from a cheap kid's lamp that had been settled on top of a rickety second-hand night stand. His eyes took in the small details available in the low light.
The older man had made quite a little nest for himself, homey and accommodating. A thick, soft blanket had been attached to the wall, insulating against the cool bricks. The floor was raised a bit off of the cement roof with wooden pallets, a second tarp overlaid with another blanket covering them. Changmin's lips twitched slightly at the sight of the blankets and stuffed animals mounded on the fold away sleeping futon tucked against the wall. That, at least, explained where all of the stuffed animals in the apartment - minus Bambi - had gone to. His arm tightened slightly around the plush in question, wondering why Yunho had left it behind when he'd so obviously gone to great lengths to claim all the others.
The rest of the details were simple due to space constraints, the nightstand and a tiny bookshelf seeming to take up what was left after the futon.
Yunho stared at him quietly as he stared at the little sanctuary Yunho had made. Then the band leader sighed and put aside his book. “I guess this means you and Joongie have made peace.”
“I guess,” Changmin replied, shrugging and shifting away, wondering if he should apologize for his sudden appearance in what had probably not been meant for his eyes. “He fed me...”
That got a chuckle and Yunho reached back to snag a second bean bag that had been tucked behind him in the shelter. “Good. You were stating to look a bit faded.”
“It's not my fault I need to eat so much! I'm still growing.” Changmin pouted, but inside he was thrilled. He hadn't been immediately scolded and ordered away. Surely that boded well? He sat down gingerly, not really accustomed to sitting in anything less solid than a normal chair or sofa. It was comfortable, though, once he'd settled into it and he couldn't help but approve of the way it tilted him enough that he had to lean against Yunho.
The older man snorted, letting the younger relax against him without comment or complaint. “If you get any taller, they're going to have to start standing the other three on boxes to keep them from looking abnormally short.”
“Theoretically, none of us are past the age where we're definitely not going to grow anymore. It's entirely possible that all of you could hit a last growth spurt and catch up to me.”
“Riiiight.”
Changmin let his eyes slip shut for a moment, happy to be soaking up his love's closeness for however long he would be allowed. “I said 'possible', not probable...”
A hand tugged on a lock of his hair and he blinked at Yunho. The serious expression would have worried him, but it was hard not to take the fact that Yunho was leaning against him just as much as he was leaning against Yunho as a positive sign.
“Changmin...”
“Yunho?”
Yunho bit his lip and glanced away. “Thank you.”
“You're welcome,” he responded automatically before tilting his head closer. “For what?”
Swallowing thickly and completely ignoring the opportunity to tease Changmin as he usually would, Yunho shrugged slightly. “For bringing us home...”
“Yunho...” Changmin pressed his head against Yunho's shoulder. “You remember?”
The other man half-shrugged. “Not really. Jaejoong explained what happened.”
Changmin couldn't help but scowl at the reminder. Even with the cease fire called between them, the very idea still irritated him. “I can't believe he took you there. Or let you... do... that.”
“Changmin-“
“I mean... Even before we were together, I knew you weren't the kind of guy who-“
“Changmin-“
“And now! How could he be so fucking stupid?! I mean, it's one thing not to know that about a casual acquaintance, but someone you're supposed to be such close friends with, someone you've been that intimate with, that you swear up and down you love-“
He would have continued his rant, the entire subject agitated him more than he could control, but Yunho had apparently decided that enough was enough. Gentle but firm fingers closed over his mouth. “Please, Changmin. You've made your opinion abundantly clear.”
The soft request made him subside where little else would have. He huffed slightly and rolled his eyes and quieted and relaxed back against Yunho. “Sorry.”
“Don't be.” Yunho's hand ghosted over his cheek and hair before being withdrawn. “You're not...” He trailed off, shaking his head and Changmin fairly growled in frustration. What little talking they'd done over the last few weeks had been about as impersonal as Yunho could remember to manage. Too many conversations had died in just such a manner and he was tired of it. Too tired to continue treading on eggshells and accepting Yunho's boundaries, he couldn't help but try to press for once..
“I'm not what?”
Yunho shook his head again and though he wasn't happy with leaving it alone, Changmin didn't want the rare moment of closeness to end.
He cuddled Bambi to his chest, leaned against Yunho, and accepted what he could get.
~*~*~
“So...”
Changmin sighed and looked over his spectacles at his eldest bandmate. “So what?”
Jaejoong pouted and flopped down onto his bed, forcing Changmin to move his feet quickly. “So what happened?”
“What happened when?” He knew exactly what Jaejoong was asking about, he just wasn't sure he wanted to talk about it. Especially not with Jaejoong of all people.
“You know when,” Jaejoong declared, reaching out to tickle his side.
“I think I liked it better when I was persona non grata with you,” Changmin mumbled, wiggling away from the annoying fingers.
“Ah... Yeah... sorry about that...” The other looked vaguely sheepish, not really apologetic. “If I'd realized you were so dumb...”
“Hey!” It was Changmin's turn to pout as he swatted at Jaejoong. “I'm not dumb.”
“Stupid?” Jaejoong tried again, a definite note of smugness in his voice as he dodged Changmin's hands. “Idiotic? Oh, I know. Intelligence-challenged!”
“I am not any of those things!”
Such accusations demanded an all out war, which Changmin threw himself into with gutso, springing up to tackle the older man and searching out all of the familiar ticklish spots.
Though Jaejoong laughed heartily and wiggled as best he could trapped as he was, he didn't take back his words. Through his laughter, he managed to squeak out even more. “You have the massive vocabulary, Minnie-mouse, what's the best word for someone too dumb to realize they're in love?”
It was like ice water splashed over his head. All the relief and humor was leeched from his body and Changmin easily fell when Jaejoong pushed. He rolled over, his back to his companion.
“Minnie?” Jaejoong's voice was hesitant, unsure of what had caused the abrupt change.
“What if he never forgives me?”
“Ah, baby....” Strong arms wrapped around him from behind and Changmin was feeling too vulnerable to protest the comfort they offered. “He already forgave you. He did that weeks ago.”
Yunho had never been the kind to hold a grudge, really, and Changmin had already known that. It wasn't what had grown to become his greatest fear.
“What if... what if...” His own voice caught around a shuddering breath and it took a second for him to force the words out. “He can't give me a second chance?”
What if Yunho couldn't find it in himself to move on and try again?
Changmin had no idea what he'd do then.
Jaejoong's arms tightened and a soft kiss was pressed against his shoulder. “Then I guess you'll just have to keep at it until he finally gives in just to have peace again, won't you?”
“And if he doesn't?”
Soft laugher followed his fearful question. “Ah, Minnie... Trust me.. You're a lot more stubborn than he is. Besides, he loves you too much now to put up much of a fight.”
Maybe they were just words of empty comfort given to keep him calm, but Changmin clutched at them like a sacred declaration.
~*~*~
Changmin's knuckles were almost white from the grip he had on the sides of the tray.
It had seemed like a good idea at the time, when he'd snagged the dinner tray away from Jaejoong and all but run out the door promising to make sure Yunho got it.
He'd won Yunho over once through sheer persistent presence - stubbornness, as Jaejoong insisted. Surely the same tactic with a side helping of real honesty, would work again?
But did he really have the right to interfere with Yunho's healing process? If he backed off... Surely Yunho would eventually move on and find someone who hadn't - wouldn't - hurt him.
The very idea made Changmin's gut clench painfully.
It was selfish. He knew that. But every fiber of his being screamed in protest at the thought of Yunho with someone else.
“I can make him happy,” Changmin whispered fiercely to himself as he pushed open the door. “I can.”
“You can what?”
He yelped and nearly dropped the dinner tray at the sudden voice.
Strong, warm hands closed over his to help him steady the tray. “Sorry... I didn't mean to startle you.”
The urge to snarl died as he looked up and nearly got lost in soft, half-amused, half-apologetic eyes. It took almost a full minute and a soft utterance of his name to snap him back out of it. His face flushed and he had to glance away. “S'ok... Just wasn't expecting you to meet me at the door.”
Yunho's hands slid across his for a moment before settling on the tray and taking it from him. “You didn't have to bring my dinner...”
“I wanted to.”
The simple statement earned him a wary look, but Yunho didn't comment on it. “Thank you.”
Changmin bit his lip for a moment before shrugging. “I thought... it would be nicer to eat up here with you than have to listen to Junsu and Yoochun bicker about God.”
A blatant lie. It was actually quite amusing to watch the pair argue the finer points of their differing theological beliefs. Sometimes he even joined in, offering a third point of view. His mood of the day was often the deciding factor for whether or not he systematically tore apart both their arguments or alternately offered a myriad of facts supporting them.
A quirk of brow was enough to tell Changmin that Yunho didn't buy his excuse for even a second, but again, the older man let it slide, simply inclining his head in acceptance and leading the way back to his little sanctuary.
`~*~*~*~
Dinner together on the roof became a common occurrence after that first time. Yunho never questioned him or put up any resistance, but he never openly encouraged it either.
Changmin had determined that unless Yunho said 'no', it was as good as acceptance. He was hesitant to try to push for anything further, though.
Their friendship was slowly being re-patched through careful, loving attention and Changmin didn't want to put it in danger again. He knew he wanted more. He wanted what they'd had, what he'd so unknowingly tossed away. More than that, he wanted to give back to Yunho as much as Yunho had given to him.
He was honest enough with himself to know that their relationship had been woefully one-sided before. Yunho had done all of the giving while Changmin had done all of the taking.
That was the one thing he knew without a doubt he would change if Yunho would give him the chance. The gentle, big-hearted man he'd fallen in love with deserved much better.
~*~*~
“Do you think we have enough frequent flyer miles to take a trip to the moon, yet?” Yoochun asked as he collapsed into a recliner.
Changmin sighed and shook his head as he paused to take a look around the living room of their seldom seen Seoul apartment. “The moon would be too cold.”
“But there wouldn't be any fans hiding with their cameras and squeals,” Jaejoong interjected, stepping around him to collapse opposite Yoochun.
“But there wouldn't be anything else either.”
“Guys, go to bed and try to get some sleep. We have to be at the studio at 6am for a meeting.” Yunho sounded like he was just barely managing to stay awake, swaying heavily, and Changmin automatically reached out to grab his bag before it tipped him over completely.
He chuckled and shook his head. “I think you need to head to bed.”
“Do you have to stop right in the way?” Junsu groused behind them. All of their frequent traveling really didn't agree with the man and grumpiness was becoming his emotion of choice lately.
“Sorry...” Yunho yawned and took a few shuffling steps to the side, letting Junsu past him into the living room.
Unlike the rest of them, Junsu didn't bother to pause and enjoy the fact that they were home - for however short a time it might be. He went straight past them and vanished into the bedroom.
They watched him go and Changmin sighed. He frequently found himself missing the Junsu of olden days, before fame and lack of privacy had worn on him and changed him. The one week they'd spent exploring the Grand Canyon had been the closest they'd had to the old Junsu in a long time and already he was wishing they could have it back. “When is our next vacation?”
Yunho listed sideways again, slumping lightly against him. “Too far away.”
“Can't we have tomorrow off?” Jaejoong whined, curling in on himself, looking like he fully intended to sleep in the chair.
“You-“ Yunho's voice cut off with a yawn and he shook his head, his hair brushing against Changmin's cheek. “You know that's not possible.”
“How do they expect us to give them any attention at six in the morning when we didn't even get into the country until after midnight?”
“I don't kno-“ Another yawn, then Yunho turned to blink sleepy eyes at Changmin. The youngest held his breath - their faces were close enough that he'd only have to lean slightly himself and they'd be kissing. “Take me to bed?”
Changmin flushed deeply as Jaejoong and Yoochun both burst out laughing. For his part, Yunho just tilted his head with a cutely confused look on his face, completely missing the innuendo in what he'd said.
In retaliation, Changmin made sure to drop his bag right on top of Yoochun's giggling form. Jaejoong batted Yunho's away when it came in his direction, but then, Changmin hadn't been trying very hard. He was too intent on getting an arm around Yunho before the band leader decided to collapse onto the floor.
~*~*~
“Hey, Minnie...” A hand pushed at his shoulder while another ruffled his hair, but Changmin resisted waking. He was warm and comfortable, his body sending all sorts of signals to his brain that it simply wasn't time to get up yet.
“Oh, let them sleep. Wasn't that the point of calling in anyways?”
His brow furrowed as he considered the combination of voices. Jaejoong and Yoochun were not the ones who normally spent their morning trying to wake him. Curiosity finally drove him to crack an eye open. “Wha?”
Jaejoong grinned at him and ruffled his hair again. “The meetings been postponed. Neither of you are to get up until at least noon.”
“Eh?” Changmin rubbed his eyes with one hand, vaguely aware that the other was caught under something and had long since gone numb.
Another face - Yoochun this time - leaned over Jaejoong's back. “Go back to sleep, Min. Sleep until you're not tired anymore. We took care of everything.”
That was an almost frightening thought, actually - Jaejoong and Yoochun working on things together almost always had nefarious results. The kind of results that ended up with them having to write apologies to management later.
But if Jaejoong and Yoochun had taken care of things, then at least he didn't have to worry about Yunho getting into trouble over it.
Thoughts of Yunho - the one who usually had the task of waking them all up - made him smile and curl closer to the weight pressed against his side.
He could deal with the consequences of taking advantage of Yunho's sleep addled mind and crawling into bed with him later.
After he'd had a chance to enjoy it properly.
~*~*~
Chapter 14
Length: Chaptered
Author: M_K Yujji
Rating: PG13
Genre: Drama
Pairing/Characters: MinHo; past-JaeHo
Warnings:
Disclaimer: Though real people are used as characters, this fic bears no resemblance to Real Life and these people are not owned by me.
Comments/Notes: I give up. This fic will end when it wants to and not when I want it to or think it should. >_> Sorry?
~*~*~
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12
~*~*~*~
Summary: Youth is only an excuse for inexperience.
~*~*~*~
The atmosphere in the apartment was noticeably lighter after the night at the club, despite Yunho's absence and Changmin's continued depression.
The silence hadn't lifted yet, but anger and disgust had been replaced by contemplation and consideration.
Yoochun seemed to deem it safe to be seen being friendly with Changmin again - something proved when dinner rolled around one night while Yoochun was going over an English paper with him and plates of bibimbop were placed in front of each of them.
He stared at it suspiciously before looking up at Jaejoong with the same expression. The older man was grinning at him in a way that he hadn't in over a month. “It's poisoned, isn't it?”
Jaejoong pouted while Yoochun laughed helplessly against Min's shoulder. “That's not nice! I wouldn't waste perfectly good bibimbop for that!”
For a man who'd been fighting over simple cookies with him less than a week ago, it seemed an extreme turn around, but far be it for Changmin to question the motives of someone willing to feed him again to closely.
A month of being left to fend for himself had taught him that while he could make do, it was so much nicer to have other people willing to do it for him.
Still he shook his head and sighed as he dug into the food, stealing half of Yoochun's egg because he could. “You're so weird, hyung.”
He wasn't sure if he was relieved or scared when Jaejoong just beamed at him.
~*~*~
A note was taped to Bambi when he started to crawl into bed that night.
Familiar handwriting scrawled out the simple message.
Something you lost is on the roof.
Immediately, his earlier suspicions came back. Maybe Jaejoong had been trying to lull him into a false sense of security and was waiting on the roof to push him over. Maybe he'd hidden a pack of crazed fangirls up there to kidnap him and drag him away and...
He bit his lip.
Maybe he was just letting his imagination run wild.
Even though he told himself it was ridiculous to think Jaejoong had any kind of nefarious reasons for sending him to the roof, it still took Changmin a while to talk himself into going to look.
He took Bambi with him, the plush tucked under one arm. He might need the back up.
There was another note taped to the inside of the door that led outside.
Don't make me regret trusting you again.
Hesitating again, Changmin looked around. Was this a prank? Was Jaejoong going to be hiding somewhere to laugh at his gullibility?
But if anyone was ducked around the corner, they were invisible ninjas and Changmin relaxed. His eldest band mate just wasn't that stealthy.
Pushing open the door, he eased through and stopped on the other side. He wasn't entirely sure what to expect. The notes seemed to imply that Yunho was on the roof, but it could still be a trap.
Against one of the walls that housed the air-conditioning units, a small lean-to had been set up, it's colorful tarp and blankets and the soft, welcoming glow of light seeming to suggest otherwise.
He bit his lip.
If this was Yunho's 'safe' place, then he didn't have any right to be there. If Yunho hadn't told him even while they were dating, then he probably wouldn't appreciate Changmin knowing now.
“Jaejoong?” The soft, questioning sound of Yunho's voice pulled Changmin forward, all thoughts of resisting and going back down to their apartment melting away at the siren's call.
“No... it's me...” he whispered as he rounded the corner of the lean-to and found Yunho settled in a bean bag chair under a big afghan blanket, the light coming from a cheap kid's lamp that had been settled on top of a rickety second-hand night stand. His eyes took in the small details available in the low light.
The older man had made quite a little nest for himself, homey and accommodating. A thick, soft blanket had been attached to the wall, insulating against the cool bricks. The floor was raised a bit off of the cement roof with wooden pallets, a second tarp overlaid with another blanket covering them. Changmin's lips twitched slightly at the sight of the blankets and stuffed animals mounded on the fold away sleeping futon tucked against the wall. That, at least, explained where all of the stuffed animals in the apartment - minus Bambi - had gone to. His arm tightened slightly around the plush in question, wondering why Yunho had left it behind when he'd so obviously gone to great lengths to claim all the others.
The rest of the details were simple due to space constraints, the nightstand and a tiny bookshelf seeming to take up what was left after the futon.
Yunho stared at him quietly as he stared at the little sanctuary Yunho had made. Then the band leader sighed and put aside his book. “I guess this means you and Joongie have made peace.”
“I guess,” Changmin replied, shrugging and shifting away, wondering if he should apologize for his sudden appearance in what had probably not been meant for his eyes. “He fed me...”
That got a chuckle and Yunho reached back to snag a second bean bag that had been tucked behind him in the shelter. “Good. You were stating to look a bit faded.”
“It's not my fault I need to eat so much! I'm still growing.” Changmin pouted, but inside he was thrilled. He hadn't been immediately scolded and ordered away. Surely that boded well? He sat down gingerly, not really accustomed to sitting in anything less solid than a normal chair or sofa. It was comfortable, though, once he'd settled into it and he couldn't help but approve of the way it tilted him enough that he had to lean against Yunho.
The older man snorted, letting the younger relax against him without comment or complaint. “If you get any taller, they're going to have to start standing the other three on boxes to keep them from looking abnormally short.”
“Theoretically, none of us are past the age where we're definitely not going to grow anymore. It's entirely possible that all of you could hit a last growth spurt and catch up to me.”
“Riiiight.”
Changmin let his eyes slip shut for a moment, happy to be soaking up his love's closeness for however long he would be allowed. “I said 'possible', not probable...”
A hand tugged on a lock of his hair and he blinked at Yunho. The serious expression would have worried him, but it was hard not to take the fact that Yunho was leaning against him just as much as he was leaning against Yunho as a positive sign.
“Changmin...”
“Yunho?”
Yunho bit his lip and glanced away. “Thank you.”
“You're welcome,” he responded automatically before tilting his head closer. “For what?”
Swallowing thickly and completely ignoring the opportunity to tease Changmin as he usually would, Yunho shrugged slightly. “For bringing us home...”
“Yunho...” Changmin pressed his head against Yunho's shoulder. “You remember?”
The other man half-shrugged. “Not really. Jaejoong explained what happened.”
Changmin couldn't help but scowl at the reminder. Even with the cease fire called between them, the very idea still irritated him. “I can't believe he took you there. Or let you... do... that.”
“Changmin-“
“I mean... Even before we were together, I knew you weren't the kind of guy who-“
“Changmin-“
“And now! How could he be so fucking stupid?! I mean, it's one thing not to know that about a casual acquaintance, but someone you're supposed to be such close friends with, someone you've been that intimate with, that you swear up and down you love-“
He would have continued his rant, the entire subject agitated him more than he could control, but Yunho had apparently decided that enough was enough. Gentle but firm fingers closed over his mouth. “Please, Changmin. You've made your opinion abundantly clear.”
The soft request made him subside where little else would have. He huffed slightly and rolled his eyes and quieted and relaxed back against Yunho. “Sorry.”
“Don't be.” Yunho's hand ghosted over his cheek and hair before being withdrawn. “You're not...” He trailed off, shaking his head and Changmin fairly growled in frustration. What little talking they'd done over the last few weeks had been about as impersonal as Yunho could remember to manage. Too many conversations had died in just such a manner and he was tired of it. Too tired to continue treading on eggshells and accepting Yunho's boundaries, he couldn't help but try to press for once..
“I'm not what?”
Yunho shook his head again and though he wasn't happy with leaving it alone, Changmin didn't want the rare moment of closeness to end.
He cuddled Bambi to his chest, leaned against Yunho, and accepted what he could get.
~*~*~
“So...”
Changmin sighed and looked over his spectacles at his eldest bandmate. “So what?”
Jaejoong pouted and flopped down onto his bed, forcing Changmin to move his feet quickly. “So what happened?”
“What happened when?” He knew exactly what Jaejoong was asking about, he just wasn't sure he wanted to talk about it. Especially not with Jaejoong of all people.
“You know when,” Jaejoong declared, reaching out to tickle his side.
“I think I liked it better when I was persona non grata with you,” Changmin mumbled, wiggling away from the annoying fingers.
“Ah... Yeah... sorry about that...” The other looked vaguely sheepish, not really apologetic. “If I'd realized you were so dumb...”
“Hey!” It was Changmin's turn to pout as he swatted at Jaejoong. “I'm not dumb.”
“Stupid?” Jaejoong tried again, a definite note of smugness in his voice as he dodged Changmin's hands. “Idiotic? Oh, I know. Intelligence-challenged!”
“I am not any of those things!”
Such accusations demanded an all out war, which Changmin threw himself into with gutso, springing up to tackle the older man and searching out all of the familiar ticklish spots.
Though Jaejoong laughed heartily and wiggled as best he could trapped as he was, he didn't take back his words. Through his laughter, he managed to squeak out even more. “You have the massive vocabulary, Minnie-mouse, what's the best word for someone too dumb to realize they're in love?”
It was like ice water splashed over his head. All the relief and humor was leeched from his body and Changmin easily fell when Jaejoong pushed. He rolled over, his back to his companion.
“Minnie?” Jaejoong's voice was hesitant, unsure of what had caused the abrupt change.
“What if he never forgives me?”
“Ah, baby....” Strong arms wrapped around him from behind and Changmin was feeling too vulnerable to protest the comfort they offered. “He already forgave you. He did that weeks ago.”
Yunho had never been the kind to hold a grudge, really, and Changmin had already known that. It wasn't what had grown to become his greatest fear.
“What if... what if...” His own voice caught around a shuddering breath and it took a second for him to force the words out. “He can't give me a second chance?”
What if Yunho couldn't find it in himself to move on and try again?
Changmin had no idea what he'd do then.
Jaejoong's arms tightened and a soft kiss was pressed against his shoulder. “Then I guess you'll just have to keep at it until he finally gives in just to have peace again, won't you?”
“And if he doesn't?”
Soft laugher followed his fearful question. “Ah, Minnie... Trust me.. You're a lot more stubborn than he is. Besides, he loves you too much now to put up much of a fight.”
Maybe they were just words of empty comfort given to keep him calm, but Changmin clutched at them like a sacred declaration.
~*~*~
Changmin's knuckles were almost white from the grip he had on the sides of the tray.
It had seemed like a good idea at the time, when he'd snagged the dinner tray away from Jaejoong and all but run out the door promising to make sure Yunho got it.
He'd won Yunho over once through sheer persistent presence - stubbornness, as Jaejoong insisted. Surely the same tactic with a side helping of real honesty, would work again?
But did he really have the right to interfere with Yunho's healing process? If he backed off... Surely Yunho would eventually move on and find someone who hadn't - wouldn't - hurt him.
The very idea made Changmin's gut clench painfully.
It was selfish. He knew that. But every fiber of his being screamed in protest at the thought of Yunho with someone else.
“I can make him happy,” Changmin whispered fiercely to himself as he pushed open the door. “I can.”
“You can what?”
He yelped and nearly dropped the dinner tray at the sudden voice.
Strong, warm hands closed over his to help him steady the tray. “Sorry... I didn't mean to startle you.”
The urge to snarl died as he looked up and nearly got lost in soft, half-amused, half-apologetic eyes. It took almost a full minute and a soft utterance of his name to snap him back out of it. His face flushed and he had to glance away. “S'ok... Just wasn't expecting you to meet me at the door.”
Yunho's hands slid across his for a moment before settling on the tray and taking it from him. “You didn't have to bring my dinner...”
“I wanted to.”
The simple statement earned him a wary look, but Yunho didn't comment on it. “Thank you.”
Changmin bit his lip for a moment before shrugging. “I thought... it would be nicer to eat up here with you than have to listen to Junsu and Yoochun bicker about God.”
A blatant lie. It was actually quite amusing to watch the pair argue the finer points of their differing theological beliefs. Sometimes he even joined in, offering a third point of view. His mood of the day was often the deciding factor for whether or not he systematically tore apart both their arguments or alternately offered a myriad of facts supporting them.
A quirk of brow was enough to tell Changmin that Yunho didn't buy his excuse for even a second, but again, the older man let it slide, simply inclining his head in acceptance and leading the way back to his little sanctuary.
`~*~*~*~
Dinner together on the roof became a common occurrence after that first time. Yunho never questioned him or put up any resistance, but he never openly encouraged it either.
Changmin had determined that unless Yunho said 'no', it was as good as acceptance. He was hesitant to try to push for anything further, though.
Their friendship was slowly being re-patched through careful, loving attention and Changmin didn't want to put it in danger again. He knew he wanted more. He wanted what they'd had, what he'd so unknowingly tossed away. More than that, he wanted to give back to Yunho as much as Yunho had given to him.
He was honest enough with himself to know that their relationship had been woefully one-sided before. Yunho had done all of the giving while Changmin had done all of the taking.
That was the one thing he knew without a doubt he would change if Yunho would give him the chance. The gentle, big-hearted man he'd fallen in love with deserved much better.
~*~*~
“Do you think we have enough frequent flyer miles to take a trip to the moon, yet?” Yoochun asked as he collapsed into a recliner.
Changmin sighed and shook his head as he paused to take a look around the living room of their seldom seen Seoul apartment. “The moon would be too cold.”
“But there wouldn't be any fans hiding with their cameras and squeals,” Jaejoong interjected, stepping around him to collapse opposite Yoochun.
“But there wouldn't be anything else either.”
“Guys, go to bed and try to get some sleep. We have to be at the studio at 6am for a meeting.” Yunho sounded like he was just barely managing to stay awake, swaying heavily, and Changmin automatically reached out to grab his bag before it tipped him over completely.
He chuckled and shook his head. “I think you need to head to bed.”
“Do you have to stop right in the way?” Junsu groused behind them. All of their frequent traveling really didn't agree with the man and grumpiness was becoming his emotion of choice lately.
“Sorry...” Yunho yawned and took a few shuffling steps to the side, letting Junsu past him into the living room.
Unlike the rest of them, Junsu didn't bother to pause and enjoy the fact that they were home - for however short a time it might be. He went straight past them and vanished into the bedroom.
They watched him go and Changmin sighed. He frequently found himself missing the Junsu of olden days, before fame and lack of privacy had worn on him and changed him. The one week they'd spent exploring the Grand Canyon had been the closest they'd had to the old Junsu in a long time and already he was wishing they could have it back. “When is our next vacation?”
Yunho listed sideways again, slumping lightly against him. “Too far away.”
“Can't we have tomorrow off?” Jaejoong whined, curling in on himself, looking like he fully intended to sleep in the chair.
“You-“ Yunho's voice cut off with a yawn and he shook his head, his hair brushing against Changmin's cheek. “You know that's not possible.”
“How do they expect us to give them any attention at six in the morning when we didn't even get into the country until after midnight?”
“I don't kno-“ Another yawn, then Yunho turned to blink sleepy eyes at Changmin. The youngest held his breath - their faces were close enough that he'd only have to lean slightly himself and they'd be kissing. “Take me to bed?”
Changmin flushed deeply as Jaejoong and Yoochun both burst out laughing. For his part, Yunho just tilted his head with a cutely confused look on his face, completely missing the innuendo in what he'd said.
In retaliation, Changmin made sure to drop his bag right on top of Yoochun's giggling form. Jaejoong batted Yunho's away when it came in his direction, but then, Changmin hadn't been trying very hard. He was too intent on getting an arm around Yunho before the band leader decided to collapse onto the floor.
~*~*~
“Hey, Minnie...” A hand pushed at his shoulder while another ruffled his hair, but Changmin resisted waking. He was warm and comfortable, his body sending all sorts of signals to his brain that it simply wasn't time to get up yet.
“Oh, let them sleep. Wasn't that the point of calling in anyways?”
His brow furrowed as he considered the combination of voices. Jaejoong and Yoochun were not the ones who normally spent their morning trying to wake him. Curiosity finally drove him to crack an eye open. “Wha?”
Jaejoong grinned at him and ruffled his hair again. “The meetings been postponed. Neither of you are to get up until at least noon.”
“Eh?” Changmin rubbed his eyes with one hand, vaguely aware that the other was caught under something and had long since gone numb.
Another face - Yoochun this time - leaned over Jaejoong's back. “Go back to sleep, Min. Sleep until you're not tired anymore. We took care of everything.”
That was an almost frightening thought, actually - Jaejoong and Yoochun working on things together almost always had nefarious results. The kind of results that ended up with them having to write apologies to management later.
But if Jaejoong and Yoochun had taken care of things, then at least he didn't have to worry about Yunho getting into trouble over it.
Thoughts of Yunho - the one who usually had the task of waking them all up - made him smile and curl closer to the weight pressed against his side.
He could deal with the consequences of taking advantage of Yunho's sleep addled mind and crawling into bed with him later.
After he'd had a chance to enjoy it properly.
~*~*~
Chapter 14