More poetry
Tired, so very tired
Of feeling this way
Like in the whole world
I stand alone
Everyone lets go
Once they have
What they want
I'm left here
Alone
As my own rock
Crumbling into
The ocean below.
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Standing
Here all alone
Feeling centered
Is that crazy
Or sane
Because
I'm alone.
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Am I stupid
For being so free
Thinking its okay
Because most human laws
Are draining and made to disobey
It's fun but not everything
Why does it become such
An issue
Why not make sure I'm okay
Before you
Turn the lights on.
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The year is getting close
And we are drifting
Will we bump back into
One another
How much longer
Can we hold on
Who will let go first
And how could they
My heart is tugging
Trying to protect itself
With so much padding
Hoping it can just rest
A false alarm
"Anxiety"
The "what ifs"
And the "what nows"
Who would be here
Afterwards
Is love so flimsy
A life so easy to drop
The year is getting closer
Save us
Dear gods and goddess
For I love him
Like no other.
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I saw you in my dreams
The old man
Begging for forgiveness
You brought figts to us three
Thinking money and presents
Could heal all those years
Why did you appear
The holidays make you realize
What horrible things
Were done to my mother
My siblings...
My heart...
Did the wrinkles scare you
As you glance into the mirror
Death getting closer and closer
Soon his face is all there is
Do not come here, I said
You could never fix
All the pain you caused
May you rest in piece
When your time comes
And stay out of my dreams.
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Tears want to shed
What happened to us
Is this the end
Already
It's still the beginning.
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Wish their was a door
So I could be alone
To clear my head
Because it says to run
From the pain
The misguided anger
Despair of being broken
All I want is love
From you & understanding
--------------------
I'm feeling sick
Going to explode...
Help...
Help....
HELP!
No one is home!
*************************************************
I'm crying in my shower room
Sitting on the ledge
Wondering how long
Until I throw this ring
Because our love
Went stale
Hoping I'm over reacting
But as I sit here alone
How can you feel loved
With no one by your side
Or at the door.
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