Revelations of that ilk are always both wonderful and terrifying. I'd like to point out to you that you have done an amazing job of surrounding yourself with terrific people. I know that we will be as loving and accepting of any broken pieces as is humanly possible.
I truly understand your fear - although there aren't many posts on this account that reflect it, my previous account had more than a few very revealing posts.
Because this is a public medium, I hesitate to delve to deeply into my joys and wounds, but if you would like I'd be happy to talk with you about them when you get back. In particular, feel free to ask me about my appearance, and how it has changed over time.
In closing... *hug* it'll be good to have you back in Pullman.
"I thank my God every time I remember you" Phil. 1:3spiralingsnailsAugust 15 2004, 14:27:46 UTC
Wow! It's awesome hearing how God has been working in your life these last few weeks. Remember that one really awful depressing post I did, where people got majorly concerned for me, and you even called me? I still can't talk about details, but I can say that that whole episode was resolved through the most awesome experience of God's forgiveness & grace that I have ever felt - but I didn't have the guts to write about it. Being vulnerable is hard, and it can take time. Sometimes I feel like an onion: as soon as God & I peel off one layer, there's another layer right underneath it. I am sooo looking forward to seeing you and being able to really talk with my partner in crime again. Only 3 days now!
onion layerskittin2cougAugust 15 2004, 23:05:19 UTC
i definately can relate to the onion thing with you. There are so many things that create the layers. I am reminded of the chronicles of narnia where Eustace becomes a dragon after puting on a gold armband. He turned into a dragon which was a reflection of his innerself and then is met by Aslan. At the moment i am drawing a blank at which book its in but anywhoo, there is a pool that aslan tells him that he must bathe in to become human again. However to first get into the pool, he must first get off his skin. So Eustace scratches away one layer only to have another layer replace the layer he took off. As much as he tried to take them off he couldn't. Only with the help of Aslan could he get the scales off however, to get them off, Aslan (a huge lion) would dig his claws deep into Eustace which was really really painful. I won't get into the allegorical aspects of the chronicles of narnia but yeah, that is what the onion layers reminded me of.
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I truly understand your fear - although there aren't many posts on this account that reflect it, my previous account had more than a few very revealing posts.
Because this is a public medium, I hesitate to delve to deeply into my joys and wounds, but if you would like I'd be happy to talk with you about them when you get back. In particular, feel free to ask me about my appearance, and how it has changed over time.
In closing... *hug* it'll be good to have you back in Pullman.
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