No one knows
what it's like
to be the bad man
to be the sad man
-kidding-
No one knows that Nick and I drove with the kids on a 14 hour adventure this past Friday to Alamogordo, NM. Did I mention we did this in one day? Driving that much with 4 kids en tow sounds horrendous but they all were very well behaved.
The trip started off nicely, seeing and being in an entirely different environment was a nice change. I thought I was going there for just a few big items that I've been needing missing like my dining table with 6 chairs, the rocking chair that my mom used to rock me in as a baby, and a gun case/cabinet that was given to my father from his parents.
-rewind-
The above mentioned were things that I used to have in my home when I was married and living with Rob and our babies. The news of a divorce hit me out of nowhere and so, being with so few options of where to live and how to make a living and support the boys, my parents (who live in New Mexico at the time) drove down in November during Thanksgiving break and we loaded up what little we could and they moved myself and the three boys to New Mexico.
Rob, at the time, told me and assured me that whatever furniture or big things that were left, he'd have the Air Force carefully move them to wherever it was he was going. He had said he might get out but I honestly don't know the thought process that led him to Texas since he completely stopped 'civil' communication with me after I moved.
Long story short: he moved with his then-girlfriend to Texas and took a lot of things that were agreed to be mine for 'safe' keeping. Safe keeping turned into blackmail because I wouldn't sign his divorce paperwork and when we were finally divorced he just severed ties and really wouldn't help or negotiate ways to get me back my things.
-fast forward-
He and his then-girlfriend broke up taking with him more of my things written in the decree as mine and left tons of other discardable things with her, basically uprooted and moved in with a new chick.
Thankfully for the decency of some humans, I was contacted and told and promised she would save my things -even though she was being moved to Alamagordo from San Antonio. Granted, she had to go through the other boxes that I don't even want to know about and salvaged what she could that wasn't damaged.
-fast forward-
She served her time in Alamagordo and was being moved further east and so the clock was ticking for me to go and gather my things. I thought a lot about just saying, fuck it and leaving it and its memories there but Nick talked me into going and getting them.
I'm glad I did.
The contents? As I said: my baby rocking chair in pristine condition, the gun cabinet, my dining table, and 2 boxes.
The boxes are what crushed me just by a quick rummage on the top and I was surprised to see Jamison and Caden's baby books.
I was excited to see the memories I had saved of our sons and the writings of a first-time mom.
...but then it hit me and the tears rolled down my cheeks.
What kind of father leaves behind his sons' baby books with an ex girlfriend he knows he'll never see again? Why are such important books of the kind so easy to discard and buried in boxes?
I'll never understand. I'm glad to have these things back. I had hoped, however, that I would be able to find Hudson's book. After coming home, no such luck which baffles me because I've been looking and looking for these very important and precious books since we left all those years ago.
It's shit like this that makes me wonder just how cruel a person is for taking things that are so very important to me.
Sigh.
I'll just have to keep in mind all the memories I still have with my sons and will still make because I'll always be at their side and now with Nick. I guess I just wasn't prepared for the emotional things inside the boxes because I didn't think he'd take these kinds of things.
Anyway, more digging later:
Box 1:
My records and my record player - broken (which he told his ex the records meant alot to him because they were his grandma's records - OutKast and Thriller and a lot of classic rock.. yes, I'm so sure!)
Box 2:
Pictures of the boys, baby books, my tapes!!, Caden's winnie the pooh figurines from his nursery in Clovis, NM, Jamison's ultrasounds, the knife & sheath my dad made him and the leather hat band my dad also made for him,
(pictures in the link)
https://photos.app.goo.gl/XbqbkOHt4njR6PnN2
to be the bad man
to be the sad man
-kidding-
No one knows that Nick and I drove with the kids on a 14 hour adventure this past Friday to Alamogordo, NM. Did I mention we did this in one day? Driving that much with 4 kids en tow sounds horrendous but they all were very well behaved.
The trip started off nicely, seeing and being in an entirely different environment was a nice change. I thought I was going there for just a few big items that I've been needing missing like my dining table with 6 chairs, the rocking chair that my mom used to rock me in as a baby, and a gun case/cabinet that was given to my father from his parents.
-rewind-
The above mentioned were things that I used to have in my home when I was married and living with Rob and our babies. The news of a divorce hit me out of nowhere and so, being with so few options of where to live and how to make a living and support the boys, my parents (who live in New Mexico at the time) drove down in November during Thanksgiving break and we loaded up what little we could and they moved myself and the three boys to New Mexico.
Rob, at the time, told me and assured me that whatever furniture or big things that were left, he'd have the Air Force carefully move them to wherever it was he was going. He had said he might get out but I honestly don't know the thought process that led him to Texas since he completely stopped 'civil' communication with me after I moved.
Long story short: he moved with his then-girlfriend to Texas and took a lot of things that were agreed to be mine for 'safe' keeping. Safe keeping turned into blackmail because I wouldn't sign his divorce paperwork and when we were finally divorced he just severed ties and really wouldn't help or negotiate ways to get me back my things.
-fast forward-
He and his then-girlfriend broke up taking with him more of my things written in the decree as mine and left tons of other discardable things with her, basically uprooted and moved in with a new chick.
Thankfully for the decency of some humans, I was contacted and told and promised she would save my things -even though she was being moved to Alamagordo from San Antonio. Granted, she had to go through the other boxes that I don't even want to know about and salvaged what she could that wasn't damaged.
-fast forward-
She served her time in Alamagordo and was being moved further east and so the clock was ticking for me to go and gather my things. I thought a lot about just saying, fuck it and leaving it and its memories there but Nick talked me into going and getting them.
I'm glad I did.
The contents? As I said: my baby rocking chair in pristine condition, the gun cabinet, my dining table, and 2 boxes.
The boxes are what crushed me just by a quick rummage on the top and I was surprised to see Jamison and Caden's baby books.
I was excited to see the memories I had saved of our sons and the writings of a first-time mom.
...but then it hit me and the tears rolled down my cheeks.
What kind of father leaves behind his sons' baby books with an ex girlfriend he knows he'll never see again? Why are such important books of the kind so easy to discard and buried in boxes?
I'll never understand. I'm glad to have these things back. I had hoped, however, that I would be able to find Hudson's book. After coming home, no such luck which baffles me because I've been looking and looking for these very important and precious books since we left all those years ago.
It's shit like this that makes me wonder just how cruel a person is for taking things that are so very important to me.
Sigh.
I'll just have to keep in mind all the memories I still have with my sons and will still make because I'll always be at their side and now with Nick. I guess I just wasn't prepared for the emotional things inside the boxes because I didn't think he'd take these kinds of things.
Anyway, more digging later:
Box 1:
My records and my record player - broken (which he told his ex the records meant alot to him because they were his grandma's records - OutKast and Thriller and a lot of classic rock.. yes, I'm so sure!)
Box 2:
Pictures of the boys, baby books, my tapes!!, Caden's winnie the pooh figurines from his nursery in Clovis, NM, Jamison's ultrasounds, the knife & sheath my dad made him and the leather hat band my dad also made for him,
(pictures in the link)
https://photos.app.goo.gl/XbqbkOHt4njR6PnN2