Blech.
"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable."
-Sydney J. Harris
Rant begin.
I have always been a fan of reconciliation. I think if there are going to be reunions of any kind, the best kinds are those with the ones you grew up with and are your blood.
That being said...
You have the means and drive to trek across the US to be apart of your family's life events like.. oh, say - a wedding?? GREAT. I know the relationships there were severed for a good part of 2011-2015. Four years is tough to swallow and it puts strain on everyone involved.
HOWEVER. You have children. You have lives that you created that you're purposely ignoring STILL. I'm guessing their visit with you back in 2013 meant nothing? That's when you stopped communication with them -despite me setting up Skype video calls with them and you had them talk to your 'then' girlfriend and left the room. Two thousand and fucking thirteen. Wow.
Fast-forward...
Your eldest son is angry and trying to come to terms with all of this neglect. He has pent up anger and shares little of his hatred of your short-comings as a father. He listens to a lot of Eminem. Let that sink in. I repeat, he listens to a rap artist who sings about his hate and disgust towards his absent father.
I ask, CAN YOU BLAME HIM?
He has his own means and ways to browse the web. He's a highly intelligent kid and like all kids, he's curious and therefore sees things. He sees and finds things out like a father who treks across the states (roughly a 20+ hour drive) -now for the SECOND time in 6 months to visit family that he once despised and won't take the time to drive a mere 2 states away to see his own sons.
Money. He is completely aware of the recent events that have happened in our home. We all feel the stress. While we try to wash over it with the littles, Caden knows there are certain things we cannot do right now because we've had to cinch the money belt tightly. He's understanding of the lack of funds for the extras we all love doing - sports especially on the top of the list. Understanding doesn't mean he's lacking disappointment though.
I hate this. I've tried all these years to get help. I've even stooped so low as to speak with you in 2014 on the phone and ask if you could please sign them up under your insurance and to please call the Texas Child Support agency and see if there wasn't a way to make the support payments not reflect the inaccurate minimum wage set in place when we had no idea where you even lived/worked in 2012.
You would always reassuringly say, "Ok, I'll look into it." and you wouldn't. It's been set to minimum wage since June 2012 all the way through to August 31st 2018... and by the way, no health insurance.
No calls.
No cards.
No gifts for birthdays or holidays.
No school help.
NOTHING. Only text replies back to me from both you and your current wife telling me to send you receipts for back to school supplies and "yea, we want to help!" to ignoring me now. Ignoring Caden now -who has tried to call you and left you voicemail.. to now NO child support at all.
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It's hard to see a family I once loved chuck us aside as well and to see them all embrace a 'man' who neglects his own children. I'm sure you have great stories you tell about a broken man who is trying and hitting walls. It's disgusting but I'm glad then can break bread with you once again and smile and be proud of you once again. I want no part of the facade and blame. It's complete bullshit that you can tell such fallacies to people you supposedly love. They'd accept you either way (for your information) and you certainly wouldn't have to lie to them about how hard you try to talk to your kids. You have all forms of contact of mine and yet, there is nothing but silence from your contact credentials. That's your cross to bear though.. as is your conscience for not even trying to mend relationships with your children or helping to support them willingly (forced garnishment doesn't count).