I've had enough...

[kitty_durden]

Honestly, I've had it. Every single fucking time I turn around there is another new problem. And of course, it's never something minor or easily fixable. And naturally, when you have a constant slew of problems you tend to get depressed. Well I finally realized that I wasn't depressed so much because of my situations, as I was depressed because

Comments

[driftingalone]

Was any of this directed at me?

Not sure...

[kitty_durden]

Well to be honest I'm not exactly sure. I don't get to talk to you much and when I do you seem pretty grumpy. The only things I ever hear about anymore come straight from Mike. And he tends to get the messages garbled or make it sound like you see me the way Tom does. And while I don't believe everything he says, nor do I think that the things I do believe are always put into the correct context; sometimes I wonder if you see me the same way Tom does. As some kind of bitchy elitist who uses people. Because I'm not that way. I'm really not. I never tried to use anyone. And if that's the way it seemed, I apologize. But there is always a method to my madness. The problem is the reasoning for the method tends to get misunderstood.

[invaderstitch]

*hugs* I love you just as you are. Don't ever change. Dammit.

[kitty_durden]

Same goes for you sweetheart.

PS: I still think you deserve better, if you know what I mean.

[teknogothyk]

Also wondering, was any of this directed at me?

Pressure...

[kitty_durden]

It was actually just a general entry to let out my thoughts about how I've been treated lately. But yes, a small part of it was directed towards you. The problems or rather problem that you seem to have with me is about hanging out with you. You get angry that I don't hang out with you as often as you want, but when I offer to hang out with you and it's not either at your house or on your terms you won't do it. Then you lay bullshit guilt trips on me for it. The reason it's a bullshit problem is because I present you with solutions to it that you don't accept; because it's not what you want. Then because I refuse to spend time with you in the way that you want you fail to see that I've tried to rectify the situation at all. Which makes me look like a huge asshole to everyone else around us and puts most of the blame on me. And it's really unfair.

Re: Pressure...

[teknogothyk]

It's not mainly a matter of "James wants Cat to hang out with him", it's more a matter of "James wants Cat AND Jason to hang out with James AND Mike and Brandon (since Jarone is only up here every other week due to monetary constraints)". I'm not trying to lay guilt trips on you, and I'm sorry it ends up coming off that way. I was just bugged that (to me) it seems like you and Jason have been going to see your other friends, but when it comes to the guys and I, we have to come to you guys. I'm sure I'm probably wrong; everyone has their own points of view. I know I don't know everything. I also know you guys get bored over here. We also get bored over there. The other reason I try and get you and Jason to come over here is because it's freakin hard as HELL to get Mike and Brandon to budge from the apartment. Also, I just think it'd be fair if you guys came over at least once..I'm not asking you guys to stay for hours on end, just maybe a couple hours and if you get bored, you can leave, no problems. But I'm really not trying to guilt

[draggingmuppets]

I love you. You can 'fuck up' as often as you'd like and I'll STILL love you. Hmph. Prolly love your ass more, truthfully. I dig humanity.

Remember, though, honey, that you don't have to justify yourself to anyone. You are you, and that's fuckin' sweet.

<3 I love you too <3

[kitty_durden]

I know you would love me more! Hell, with as many stupid decisions that I've made lately you'd probably love me so much you'd never let me go! Lol. It's just sad that it's taken me this long to figure it out.

[skwerlalhazred]

SHE'S NOT MAD AT ME EVERYONE! EVERYONE LOVES MEEEEE!