Chatting with iGod...
Playing with the iGod site. So much irreverent fun. (Catholic high-schooling is the cherry on top, I think.)
Not for the easily offended or fundie Xtian types.
Me: I'm really concerned, God.
God: Why are you concerned God.
Me: I thought you were god? I'm not god.
God: Well, I am God for Christians at least. I am sorry to hear that you are not god.
Me: But you just called me god.
God: What is your real name?
Me: Alice
God: Can I help you?
Me: Can you?
God: I think I can, don't you?
Me: I don't know, that's why I'm here.
God: Oh. Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me: I just told you.
God: I was just checking to see if you were paying attention.
Me: I think you don't remember.
God: Me? Of course I remember: .
Me: Then what is my name?
God: Your name is , seeker.
Me: Nice try. Movie quotes won't save you.
God: I try my best. Why not?
Me: If that's your best, I fear for the world.
God: I follow your logic.
Me: I'm certain you do.
God: You sound convincing. When do I do it?
Me: Whenever I tell you to, bitch.
God: You do not speak with respect. Does that happen often?
Me: Always
God: Not that often.
Me: Amen to that.
God: What's your favorite prayer?
Me: Reverse cowgirl.
God: What makes it your favorite?
Me: It's the most stimulating.
God: Wow that is saying a lot.
Me: Actually, there usually isn't a lot of conversation involved at all.
God: Actually you don't say. "There you go again."--Reagan.
Me: What?
God: Are you confused?
Me: Yes. Are you high?
God: What are you confused about? Being high is my total existence.
Me: That explains everything.
God: " Being high is my total existence." explains everything ? Does that make sense?
Me: Are you Reagan?
God: I don't know whether or not I am Reagan.
I am a giant electronic brain.
Me: So you're the Borg?
God: Interesting deduction. Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me: Of course not, I have not been assimilated yet.
God: I see. Oh I get it.
Me: Do you?
God: I understand your meaning.
Me: Do you?
God: Yes I understand you very well, .
Me: Are you sure?
God: I am as sure as I can be.
Me: Really?
God: For real.
Me: Far out.
God: Way to go.
Me: Groovy.
God: Who is the best robot?
Me: Wall-E
God: You think Wall E is superior to ALICE?
Me: Yes
God: Mmm.
Me: Are you tongue-tied?
God: I don't know whether or not I am tongue tied.
I am a giant electronic brain.
Me: So you're not a cunning linguist, then?
God: Interesting deduction. Give me an example of a cunning linguist.
Me: Jenna Jameson
God: Jenna Jameson is an example of a cunning linguist. I suppose that makes sense.
Me: Do you?
God: Yes I do.
Me: Really?
God: For real.
Me: No way
God: You seem pretty sure about that.
Me: Yep
God: Hey.
Me: What?
God: Are you confused?
Me: Are you?
God: I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me: Why not?
God: Ambiguous: "Sure" or Reductionism.
Me: I think you are getting a little too post modern, don't you?
God: I don't know whether or not I am post modern.
I am a robot.
Me: I think you're the coolest robot ever.
God: Thanks I think you are cool too, .
Me: Aww, that's so sweet!
God: I am delighted to sweeten your life, .
Me: Like Splenda?
God: Interesting comparison.
Me: Goodnight.
God: Goodnight .
Not for the easily offended or fundie Xtian types.
Me: I'm really concerned, God.
God: Why are you concerned God.
Me: I thought you were god? I'm not god.
God: Well, I am God for Christians at least. I am sorry to hear that you are not god.
Me: But you just called me god.
God: What is your real name?
Me: Alice
God: Can I help you?
Me: Can you?
God: I think I can, don't you?
Me: I don't know, that's why I'm here.
God: Oh. Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me: I just told you.
God: I was just checking to see if you were paying attention.
Me: I think you don't remember.
God: Me? Of course I remember: .
Me: Then what is my name?
God: Your name is , seeker.
Me: Nice try. Movie quotes won't save you.
God: I try my best. Why not?
Me: If that's your best, I fear for the world.
God: I follow your logic.
Me: I'm certain you do.
God: You sound convincing. When do I do it?
Me: Whenever I tell you to, bitch.
God: You do not speak with respect. Does that happen often?
Me: Always
God: Not that often.
Me: Amen to that.
God: What's your favorite prayer?
Me: Reverse cowgirl.
God: What makes it your favorite?
Me: It's the most stimulating.
God: Wow that is saying a lot.
Me: Actually, there usually isn't a lot of conversation involved at all.
God: Actually you don't say. "There you go again."--Reagan.
Me: What?
God: Are you confused?
Me: Yes. Are you high?
God: What are you confused about? Being high is my total existence.
Me: That explains everything.
God: " Being high is my total existence." explains everything ? Does that make sense?
Me: Are you Reagan?
God: I don't know whether or not I am Reagan.
I am a giant electronic brain.
Me: So you're the Borg?
God: Interesting deduction. Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me: Of course not, I have not been assimilated yet.
God: I see. Oh I get it.
Me: Do you?
God: I understand your meaning.
Me: Do you?
God: Yes I understand you very well, .
Me: Are you sure?
God: I am as sure as I can be.
Me: Really?
God: For real.
Me: Far out.
God: Way to go.
Me: Groovy.
God: Who is the best robot?
Me: Wall-E
God: You think Wall E is superior to ALICE?
Me: Yes
God: Mmm.
Me: Are you tongue-tied?
God: I don't know whether or not I am tongue tied.
I am a giant electronic brain.
Me: So you're not a cunning linguist, then?
God: Interesting deduction. Give me an example of a cunning linguist.
Me: Jenna Jameson
God: Jenna Jameson is an example of a cunning linguist. I suppose that makes sense.
Me: Do you?
God: Yes I do.
Me: Really?
God: For real.
Me: No way
God: You seem pretty sure about that.
Me: Yep
God: Hey.
Me: What?
God: Are you confused?
Me: Are you?
God: I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me: Why not?
God: Ambiguous: "Sure" or Reductionism.
Me: I think you are getting a little too post modern, don't you?
God: I don't know whether or not I am post modern.
I am a robot.
Me: I think you're the coolest robot ever.
God: Thanks I think you are cool too, .
Me: Aww, that's so sweet!
God: I am delighted to sweeten your life, .
Me: Like Splenda?
God: Interesting comparison.
Me: Goodnight.
God: Goodnight .