(no subject)
i'm sitting here with my second cup of coffee with a lump in my throat. the day is grey, and i've been up a while. i don't feel down or sad or anything like that.
i've been thinking all morning about my life up to this particular point. there's been ups and downs and all other altitudes in between and careening sideways on many occasions. sometimes it seemed i would never be stable or secure in any way, shape or form. and sometimes it seems so now.
i'm reflecting on all of the good in my life. and i've decided that very little of my life is not good. i don't think i'm making a significant contribution to the good of all mankind, but not everyone can or should do that. i settle for trying to make little differences. like last night, as i got off the bus, some guy looking quite frantic at the ticket counter needed some more cash to pay for his ticket. so i gave him some. i didn't have much money with me, but i could at least help a little. and because i helped, other people did too. i hope the guy gets to where he's going. he was so appreciative that it made me remember not all humanity is dross. or maybe he was...maybe he scammed me...i choose not to think that way.
i have my family. even though my dad is dead, i carry strong memories and a string of characteristics that i am proud to say came mostly from him. i miss him dearly even though it's been nine years. i marvel at the strength my mom displays in the face of being alone and fighting depression even though i complain about her sometimes. and i am grateful that my brother and his wife have a happy healthy daughter, when only seven years ago it seemed he would lose both.
i have my kittens, that again, even though they drive me stark raving mad sometimes are as much a part of my life as my family and friends. even puck...yeah, even him.
and my friends. the way they have put up with me and supported me through this last year has been inspirational because every single one of them have their own trials and tribulations to deal with on a daily basis. my hat is off to them, they are the best anyone can ask for and are an amazing pillar of strength for me.
and who knew...great bf too...although i still giggle over the term ;). too much sappiness to write more here! i will save you from the sentimentality!
i guess this turned into a thanks to the powers that push and pull me through life.
i've been thinking all morning about my life up to this particular point. there's been ups and downs and all other altitudes in between and careening sideways on many occasions. sometimes it seemed i would never be stable or secure in any way, shape or form. and sometimes it seems so now.
i'm reflecting on all of the good in my life. and i've decided that very little of my life is not good. i don't think i'm making a significant contribution to the good of all mankind, but not everyone can or should do that. i settle for trying to make little differences. like last night, as i got off the bus, some guy looking quite frantic at the ticket counter needed some more cash to pay for his ticket. so i gave him some. i didn't have much money with me, but i could at least help a little. and because i helped, other people did too. i hope the guy gets to where he's going. he was so appreciative that it made me remember not all humanity is dross. or maybe he was...maybe he scammed me...i choose not to think that way.
i have my family. even though my dad is dead, i carry strong memories and a string of characteristics that i am proud to say came mostly from him. i miss him dearly even though it's been nine years. i marvel at the strength my mom displays in the face of being alone and fighting depression even though i complain about her sometimes. and i am grateful that my brother and his wife have a happy healthy daughter, when only seven years ago it seemed he would lose both.
i have my kittens, that again, even though they drive me stark raving mad sometimes are as much a part of my life as my family and friends. even puck...yeah, even him.
and my friends. the way they have put up with me and supported me through this last year has been inspirational because every single one of them have their own trials and tribulations to deal with on a daily basis. my hat is off to them, they are the best anyone can ask for and are an amazing pillar of strength for me.
and who knew...great bf too...although i still giggle over the term ;). too much sappiness to write more here! i will save you from the sentimentality!
i guess this turned into a thanks to the powers that push and pull me through life.