meandering through the year that was...
what a hell of year this has been. i have spent 54 weeks on my own now. and i'm happier than the proverbial pig. but what a journey it's been. i don't know that i can even remember it all, but i want to, because it's been kind of a rebirth for me. certainly a reawakening.
where to begin? i suppose the day i moved into this apartment. with a chair, a trunk and a coffe table. purchased that day were a day bed, a wardrobe, a dining table and four chairs. couldn't have been happier. i had my lake, my apartment and a reasonably good idea that maybe i could get a little more perspective on my life. the only thing missing was my dear little kitlets, but don't tell them...it was good to have the couple of months without them if only because i could visit my family for more that two nights and a day. a treat in itself.
and even though it wasn't as horrid as previous experiences, went through quite a bout of self-destruction...managed to get that under control, only to have it spiral out on me again resulting in a 5 week breakdown. i'm still surprised and amazed that my friends, essentially my family, stuck by me through all of that. i was a mess. and trying to hide it from everyone. big hugs and i love you all dearly. you know who you are...without you, i'm not sure where i'd be now and really don't want to think about it. i can never repay your kindness and understanding.
gone from wouldn't, couldn't, ain't no way you can make me leave this house to i hardly seem to have an evening home now. and it's amazing. i have renewed and strengthened old friendships and i have met some new and wonderful and dear people, something i hadn't done in a long time. and fortunately, i did not lose as many as i thought that i might. i am grateful.
and now. look at me now. i have not been this silly, nutty individual since i was about 16. i am so happy to be back at this place where i am not too worried about what anybody thinks, where i really don't care that i don't have all the toys and yet i am rich beyond my wildest imaginings. i even have a boyfriend *giggles like a little girl*. that's for sure not what i expected. although i believe it's maybe because of bad behaviour in his past life that now todd's being punished. karma. you know.
i'm staying on this ride...it's fun