Weird...
Why is that on the night that I can actually sleep I have a totally fucked up dream? Monday and Tuesday night my uncle stayed over...again, thus preventing me from getting any kind of decent sleep. So last night when I went to bed, I crashed hard. However, as stated already, my dream has left me "wtf-ing"?
I was visiting my dad's house for the weekend and I was sitting at his computer table. I had books of some sort covering the desk like I was about to do some writing or research. I wanted to look something up on the internet so I reached over like I was going to turn on the computer. Dad turns to me and says "you know all those dishes in the sink are your responsibility right?" To which I moan and groan and because they are overflowing in the sink. He doesn't have a dishwasher--everything has to be washed and dried and put away by hand. So I roll my eyes and head over to the sink in order to do them thinking I'll just get them done and out of the way. Just as I'm about to turn on the faucet Dad says "you can't do them now, I want to clean the rest of the kitchen first." Again I roll my eyes and this time throw a tantrum like a bratty 16 year old would do. I wanted to get them done so that I wouldn't be interrupted when I started my "work". He proceeds to show me something in one of his kitchen drawers that I just roll my eyes at. He laughs in the mean way he has and goes back to what he was doing. I gather my things and head into the living room. I pause in the dining room and think about going upstairs but decide not to since he's been sleeping up there. So I continue into the living room. Next thing I know I'm curled up on his couch in a sweatshirt, covered with a comfy blanket and reading my book as Melodi lays curled against my stomach, Isabelle's up on my side, and Bubby jumps up onto the couch to curl at my feet....After that I woke up.
Now, I haven't been to my dad's house for the weekend since I was 18. My cats would never have been there AT ALL!!! The dishes was a normal thing though =-P He always made it my job when I was up there to do the dishes. But still why am I having this dream now??? I mean I miss my dad, and I wish I could talk to him but...
Perhaps this dream was to remind me of how he ACTUALLY is instead of how I want him to be. My dad never makes anything easy for anyone. He always seems to like to make things harder than they should be. Perhaps I just being reminded to be thankful for the peaceful year I've had since he hasn't been in my life.
it's sad that I can actually say that: my life is more peaceful without my dad around. I wish things were different with him, I really do. But they aren't. And it's not my fault we aren't talking. I've tried sending him a card and I've tried calling him, hell I even went up there on Father's Day but he wasn't home. What else can I do? I feel like I've tried everything I can try. Maybe it's just time I let this go and give up on it...
I was visiting my dad's house for the weekend and I was sitting at his computer table. I had books of some sort covering the desk like I was about to do some writing or research. I wanted to look something up on the internet so I reached over like I was going to turn on the computer. Dad turns to me and says "you know all those dishes in the sink are your responsibility right?" To which I moan and groan and because they are overflowing in the sink. He doesn't have a dishwasher--everything has to be washed and dried and put away by hand. So I roll my eyes and head over to the sink in order to do them thinking I'll just get them done and out of the way. Just as I'm about to turn on the faucet Dad says "you can't do them now, I want to clean the rest of the kitchen first." Again I roll my eyes and this time throw a tantrum like a bratty 16 year old would do. I wanted to get them done so that I wouldn't be interrupted when I started my "work". He proceeds to show me something in one of his kitchen drawers that I just roll my eyes at. He laughs in the mean way he has and goes back to what he was doing. I gather my things and head into the living room. I pause in the dining room and think about going upstairs but decide not to since he's been sleeping up there. So I continue into the living room. Next thing I know I'm curled up on his couch in a sweatshirt, covered with a comfy blanket and reading my book as Melodi lays curled against my stomach, Isabelle's up on my side, and Bubby jumps up onto the couch to curl at my feet....After that I woke up.
Now, I haven't been to my dad's house for the weekend since I was 18. My cats would never have been there AT ALL!!! The dishes was a normal thing though =-P He always made it my job when I was up there to do the dishes. But still why am I having this dream now??? I mean I miss my dad, and I wish I could talk to him but...
Perhaps this dream was to remind me of how he ACTUALLY is instead of how I want him to be. My dad never makes anything easy for anyone. He always seems to like to make things harder than they should be. Perhaps I just being reminded to be thankful for the peaceful year I've had since he hasn't been in my life.
it's sad that I can actually say that: my life is more peaceful without my dad around. I wish things were different with him, I really do. But they aren't. And it's not my fault we aren't talking. I've tried sending him a card and I've tried calling him, hell I even went up there on Father's Day but he wasn't home. What else can I do? I feel like I've tried everything I can try. Maybe it's just time I let this go and give up on it...