fic for sheenalinh
Title: Off with your head (Or: Four times Kame wants to murder Jin and one time he almost does)
By: changetje
Pairing: Kamanashi Kazuya x Akanishi Jin
Word count: 3,280
Rating: PG-13
Genre Romance, slice of life, some humor and angst
Warnings: Kame’s hard life
Notes: I really hope you like this, sheenalinh! :D Many thanks to my beta E. <3
Summary: Dating Jin is really hard.
01.
Dating Jin is a really hard thing to do. It’s probably the hardest thing Kame has ever done and that includes giving into his feelings. And he isn’t even sure that they are dating. Okay, they occasionally go out together and have sex and sometimes Jin even makes him coffee in the morning. But apart from that, there isn’t really any dating involved.
Dating Jin is so hard, because it’s Jin that makes it so hard. He shows up late to dates, doesn’t kiss Kame goodbye and doesn’t want to hold his hand. Actually, Jin kind of sucks at being a boyfriend. At being Kame’s boyfriend. Kame wishes Jin was just a little more perfect, because that’s all he wants. A perfect boyfriend.
Sometimes, Kame even forgets why he wants to date Jin in the first place. And then gets reminded by Jin’s lips on his neck and Jin's fingers on his stomach.
Because when Jin does that, Kame can barely remember how to breath. Especially when Jin’s hands are making their way under Kame’s shirt. Kame’s skin feels like it’s on fire and it almost burns when Jin touches him. But it’s a good burn and he wants more of it. Much more.
He likes it when Jin touches him like that. He really likes it. He would even forgive Jin for anything stupid he’s ever done, so long as Jin just doesn’t stop touching him like that.
Jin moves from his neck to his collarbone and Kame gasps, pressing himself even closer against Jin. He tugs onto the hem of Jin’s shirt, letting him know he should take it off. Quickly, Jin pulls away to get rid of the shirt, while Kame does the same and a moment later Jin’s lips are back on his chest.
Their hips are grinding together and Kame’s gut gets filled with that perfect feeling of pure pleasure. He lets out a little moan that he knows will drive Jin crazy. He’s right, because Jin groans into his skin and grinds their hips together again.
Kame thinks he’s about to explode, when Jin breathes his name into his ear and Kame’s hands are already fumbling with Jin’s belt. Just when he wants to wrap his hand around Jin, a phone goes off.
“Not now,” Kame moans, going back to what he was doing and Jin gasps when he finally gets a hand around him. That stupid phone of his, always going off when they’re just onto something.
“Yeah,” Jin breathes. He feels around on the floor and coffee table for his phone, but he can’t find it. Kame, being under him, looks to his side and sees the phone laying near a table leg. He grabs it and is about to turn it off, when he sees the caller ID.
Kame’s eyes narrows when he sees the name flashing on the screen. Not again. He tries to stay calm and props himself up on his elbows to look at Jin. “Jin, who is Miki?”
“Oh shit,” Jin says, grabbing the phone from Kame’s hands and turns it off.
Just what Kame was thinking. “For fuck’s sake, Jin,” he says, as he pushes Jin away and gets off the couch.
Jin sits back on his knees, holding his phone. “It’s not like that,” he says, but he looks flustered and it’s not from making out with Kame.
“Yeah, it is,” Kame says, getting angrier by the minute. “It’s one of your little girlfriends. Again. I’m sick and tired of being your second choice, Jin!”
“You know it’s not like that. I never-”
But Kame doesn’t want to hear it. Jin’s lucky he doesn’t kill him. “Get out.”
“Kame-”
“Get out,” Kame hisses, before turning on his heel and disappearing to his bedroom.
He sits down on his bed and wrenches his hands, as he hears Jin leave. Again. He doesn’t even remember why he wanted to date Jin in the first place.
02.
They kiss and make up a few days later, just like they always do afterwards. Kame always vows to himself never to forgive Jin, but that’s the thing: he can’t not forgive him. It’s like with a puppy. You’re mad at him for demolishing your couch, but when he gives you that look and whines, all you want to do is cuddle him. Jin is like that puppy. Including the eyes.
Jin promises to take Kame out for dinner on Sunday and Kame agrees. Because he knows what dinner will lead to and since he didn’t get laid last time, he’d like to this time.
Well, this time he won’t either.
“I am going to murder Jin!” Kame rages, as he bursts into the KAT-TUN dressing room on Monday morning. “Where is he?”
Koki, the only one in the room, looks up from his Blackberry with raised eyebrows. “Wow, Kame. What happened? You look like Jin just tried to kill your dog.”
Kame’s eye twitches a little and Koki gasps. “Oh no, he didn’t.”
“No, he didn’t,” Kame rolls his eyes. “He forgot our… appointment yesterday and I’ve been trying to call him all night, but he just wouldn’t pick up his phone… I really am going to kill him when I see him.”
“I’m sure he has a good reason,” Koki says, trying to sooth Kame a little, while his fingers tap away on his phone.
Yeah right, a good reason. Probably a reason with boobs.
Kame plops down onto the couch next to him with a sigh. “He’s driving me crazy.”
“Yeah, but in what way…” Ueda mutters, who has just enters the room with huge sunglasses on his head and his bag slung over his shoulder.
Kame’s eye twitches again.
“There, there,” Koki says, patting Kame on the knee. “Ueda, stop with the innuendo or Kame will kill you as well.”
“Great,” Ueda says. “I’m gonna get some coffee.” He drops his bag on the table, turns around on his heels and leaves the room again.
“Oh, can you get me some as well?” a horribly cheerful voice says and Kame jumps to his feet.
“You liar!” he shouts, pointing his finger at Jin who stands in the doorway, blinking at Kame like he doesn’t know what Kame’s talking about.
“Me?” Jin says, pointing to himself and it pisses off Kame even more.
“No, the wall behind you. Of course I meant you, you idiot,” Kame hisses through his clenched teeth. “Where were you last night,” he demands.
Jin scratches his head slowly. “Last night… Uh.”
Kame is this close to throwing whatever he can get his hands on at Jin. He can’t believe Jin would actually skip their date- no, appointment. Whatever. And then forget about it. He just can’t believe that. Because Jin may be a douche, even he can’t be that big of a douche.
“Oh right!” Jin calls out, like he just remembered. “Sorry ‘bout that. I uh - kind of fell asleep.”
“You fell asleep,” Kame repeats.
“Yeah. And when I woke up, it was already midnight and I didn’t want to bother you. In the middle of the night.”
Kame sighs and rubs his forehead. Jin is giving him headaches. But Jin has been giving him headaches ever since he can remember, so it’s nothing new.
“I need caffeine,” he moans.
“I’m sorry?” Jin tries again, this time with his puppy-eyes, but Kame is already on his way to the coffee machine to drown his misery.
03.
Another thing that gets on Kame’s nerves is the fact that Jin likes to go clubbing. Normally, Kame doesn’t have anything against clubbing, but when he goes with Jin it’s different… Jin likes to dance. Not just with Kame, but with everyone in the entire club. That includes girls. Lots of girls.
Kame usually pretends he doesn’t care that Jin dances with other people. Pretends that he doesn’t care that Jin’s hands are on a girl’s hips, that his body is way too close to hers, that she is smiling like she’s the happiest person in the world.
But Kame should be the one who is the happiest person in the world, not her. Jin is his boyfriend, for fuck’s sake. Even though he doesn’t know if he even could call Jin that. Jin is not very clear about that. Jin is not very clear about a lot of things, really.
Kame’s head is not clear now, either. He narrows his eyes as he watches Jin dancing on the dance floor. The music is pounding in his ears and he can feel the whiskey vibrating in his glass. When Jin dances alone, he likes to watch him, how his body move to the music, perfect in time with the beat. Now, it just annoys him. But he can’t avert his eyes, because it’s still Jin dancing.
Actually, Kame just wants Jin to dance with him and him alone.
He downs his whiskey in one go and asks for another one. He’s still staring at Jin and the girl. They’re too close to his taste and it doesn’t really help that Jin’s hands are sliding lower and lower.
He’s just waiting for something to happen.
A guy comes up to him and asks him to dance, but Kame declines. He’s not interested in other people, unlike someone else.
And then it happens. The girl leans forward to kiss him. Kame can see their lips touching. He is already on his feet and on his way to them. He grabs Jin’s arm and drags him off the dance floor to a more quiet place.
“Kame!” Jin calls out.
“What the hell, Jin!” Kame snaps, still holding Jin’s arm, maybe a little tighter than necessary. “What were you thinking?”
“She came onto me!” Jin says.
Kame rolls his eyes. “Yeah, sure. I saw the way you were dancing with her.”
“I thought you didn’t mind! You said so yourself!”
“That doesn’t mean I gave you permission to kiss chicks!” Kame yells back.
Jin sighs and rubs his temples. “I sometimes wonder who’s the chick here.”
“What did you just say, Akanishi?” Kame can’t stop himself from punching Jin in the shoulder.
“Ow, that hurts!” Jin groans, grabbing his shoulder.
“It’s supposed to hurt, you moron,” Kame says, while continuing to hit Jin wherever he can.
“Kame, stop that!” Jin tries to stop Kame by grabbing his arms, but Kame is faster.
“Not before you stop being such a douche!”
“If you stop hitting me, we can talk about it.”
Kame responds by punching his other shoulder.
“Okay, okay, I get it!” Jin calls out, so Kame will stop. “Let me make it up to you. I’ll take you out to dinner tomorrow. No falling asleep, ringing cell phones or dancing with girls. Alright?”
Finally, Kame stops hitting him. “You’re not gonna fuck it up again, are you?” he says, not trusting Jin at all.
“Of course not.”
“You better not,” Kame says. “You better not.”
04.
Sometimes Kame reminds himself that, despite all Jin’s flaws, there a tons of reasons why he fell in love in the first place. Jin’s smile for instance. His stupid high-pitched giggle. His well-toned body and his wavy hair. The way Jin can be childish one moment and extremely grown-up the next. The way Kame feels safe whenever he’s with Jin. The way Jin tries to be romantic…
And fails miserably.
Jin has promised to pick Kame up with his car, so Kame waits patiently for him in his living room, all dressed up. Of course, Jin is late, but Kame can deal with that, because Jin is usually late. He can wait another five minutes. Only five turns into ten turns into twenty and Kame is starting to lose his patience a little.
He is just about to pick up his phone to call Jin, when it starts ringing. “Yes?” Kame answers.
“Kame, I’m so sorry,” Jin says. “The traffic is awful. Would you mind coming yourself?”
Of course he minds. But he doesn’t tell Jin that. “No, that’s fine. See you in a bit.”
It isn’t the perfect start for a date, but it’s fine. Kame can deal with anything. He takes the train to Shibuya and walks to the cinema they planned to go to. Luckily, Jin is only a few minutes behind him this time..
“Hey,” Jin smiles when he sees Kame waiting for him. “I’m sorry about earlier.”
“That’s fine,” Kame says and he really means it. “Come on, our movie is almost starting.”
Kame knows Jin’s not a hero at picking movies and it’s not that bad as that one time when they went to see Transformers II together, but Kame could’ve thought of a more romantic film than Suckerpunch.
But it’s not that bad. Apart from the guns and the fighting and the dragons. And the fact that Jin can’t take a hint when Kame carefully places his hand on his arm rest, palm up. But Kame can deal with that, too.
“That was…interesting,” Kame says, when they leave the movie theater.
“Totally,” Jin grins at him. “It was awesome.”
While they walk to the restaurant where Jin has made reservations, they talk about the weather and work and baseball. It’s kind of awkward, but that’s totally okay.
Jin’s picked out a lovely restaurant, though and Kame has to compliment him on that. It’s a tiny, Chinese place and Jin has reserved a table for two at the back of the restaurant.
Kame thinks their date is going quite well, apart from a few, tiny hiccups. But Kame wishes it would a little more…romantic. Jin hasn’t held his hand yet. Or kissed him, not even on the cheek. But maybe he will later tonight, so Kame can wait a little longer.
Their food arrives after a bit and while they eat, Jin tells some story about that time he and Yamapi went to the beach together and Yamapi lost his swimming suit. It’s a pretty lame story, but Kame likes listening to Jin, because his voice is soothing and his laugh is endearing. And when Kame suggests to share a dessert, Jin agrees immediately.
Afterwards, Jin drops Kame off at his place and Kame thinks this date has gone quite well. So okay, Jin didn’t hold his hand or kissed him, but that’s fine, right? But it feels as if something’s missing. Something very important.
“So,” Jin says when they’re standing at Kame’s front door.
“Want to come in for a coffee?” Kame asks when he opens the door.
Jin nods. “Yeah,” he follows Kame inside.
As they wait for the coffee to be ready, Jin wraps his arms around Kame from behind and kisses his neck. Kame knows where this is going and even though he doesn’t mind that much, he kind of does.
“What’s wrong?” Jin asks as he feels Kame tense up in his arms.
“Nothing,” Kame smiles, but Jin knows there’s something up.
“Yes, there is,” Jin lets go of Kame and turns him around. “What did I do wrong this time?”
“Nothing,” Kame repeats. Jin raises an eyebrow at him and Kame sighs. “It’s just that…”
“What?”
Kame bites his lip. It would be better to say nothing at all, but Jin is staring down at him and he has to say something.
“You really suck at this romance thing,” he says and mentally slaps himself. That is so not what he actually wanted to say.
“Why thank you,” Jin replies and he doesn’t look too happy about it.
“No, I mean, you really suck at it. You can’t even tell me that you-”
“That I what?” Jin narrows his eyes at Kame, who stops talking immediately. Because Kame doesn’t actually know if Jin really loves him. Well, of course they both know Jin isn’t the romantic type, even though Kame wants him to be… but he still doesn’t know if Jin loves him.
“Nothing,” Kame snaps back.
“What? I’m not perfect enough for you?”
“Well, at least you could try.”
“Oh, I tried, alright,” Jin calls out. “You’re just never happy.”
“Well, it’s not like you make me happy.” Kame doesn’t mean to sound this bitchy, but he can’t help it.
Jin rolls his eyes. “I’m so done with you.”
“Great. I think it’s time you leave now. Before I - oh, I don’t know - rip off your head.”
“Good,” Jin says. “I’ll go. And never come back.”
“Fine,” Kame says. “You know where the door is.”
The door slams shut behind Jin and Kame stares at it, standing there alone in the hallway. Well, fine, he thinks. This is all just fucking great.
If Kame is not trying to kill Jin, then it’s Jin killing Kame.
05.
Kame knows this time there won’t be any kissing and making up, because most of the time, it’s Jin who apologizes first. But this time, it’s completely and utterly Kame’s fault they’ve gotten into this fight. Kame is even convinced they’ve broken up, although it hasn’t been said in those precise words.
Maybe it would be better he just forgot about Jin. But it’s so hard to pull his heart away. He is, after all, still in love with Jin.
He tries to make it better with calls and texts, but Jin never returns any of them and Kame probably deserves that. Kame doesn’t see Jin for an entire week, until he comes home one Friday night and finds Jin at his kitchen table.
“Wha-” Kame begins, when he sees the table is all set with plates and wine glasses and candles, still unlit.
“Sssht,” Jin gestures “Sit down.”
Kame nods. He pulls off his jacket and sits down across of Jin.
“I know I said I was done with you and I kind of still am,” Jin says and Kame wants to interrupt him, but Jin holds up a hand to stop him. “But I just don’t understand why you keep getting mad at me. I am trying, okay?”
“It’s because you won’t say you love me!” Kame suddenly blurts out. He puts a hand over his mouth, but it’s already too late.
“Then stop pushing me away!” Jin exclaims.
“I’m not pushing you away,” Kame says softly.
“Yeah, you are,” Jin says. “You want everything to be perfect, including me. But I’m not. You’ve got to let go of my shoulders and let me stand on my own.”
“What?” Kame says, confused.
“Uh…” Jin slides a hand through his hair. “I mean - you can’t control me like everything else in your life.” Jin looks down at his fingers and Kame thinks he may have a point there. “I have my own friends and I sometimes fall asleep and I like go to clubbing,” Jin says with a shrug.
“But you won’t hold my hand. Or kiss me goodnight,” Kame whispers.
“Yeah, that’s something I’m still working on.”
“I don’t even know if you love me.”
Jin rolls his eyes, then gestures that Kame should get up and then pulls him into his lap. “You really think I would’ve put up with all of your shit if I didn’t?”
Kame thinks Jin may be right about that. Even though dating Jin can be very hard, not dating Jin would be way harder. He doesn’t really know how to respond, so instead he grabs Jin’s still bruised shoulders and kisses him.
It starts slowly, but when Kame kisses him even harder, he pulls away with a gasp. “Are you trying to kill me or what?” he calls out.
Kame grins at him. “Be glad it’s not because I’m mad at you.”
“Yeah, I think I can live with that.”
By: changetje
Pairing: Kamanashi Kazuya x Akanishi Jin
Word count: 3,280
Rating: PG-13
Genre Romance, slice of life, some humor and angst
Warnings: Kame’s hard life
Notes: I really hope you like this, sheenalinh! :D Many thanks to my beta E. <3
Summary: Dating Jin is really hard.
01.
Dating Jin is a really hard thing to do. It’s probably the hardest thing Kame has ever done and that includes giving into his feelings. And he isn’t even sure that they are dating. Okay, they occasionally go out together and have sex and sometimes Jin even makes him coffee in the morning. But apart from that, there isn’t really any dating involved.
Dating Jin is so hard, because it’s Jin that makes it so hard. He shows up late to dates, doesn’t kiss Kame goodbye and doesn’t want to hold his hand. Actually, Jin kind of sucks at being a boyfriend. At being Kame’s boyfriend. Kame wishes Jin was just a little more perfect, because that’s all he wants. A perfect boyfriend.
Sometimes, Kame even forgets why he wants to date Jin in the first place. And then gets reminded by Jin’s lips on his neck and Jin's fingers on his stomach.
Because when Jin does that, Kame can barely remember how to breath. Especially when Jin’s hands are making their way under Kame’s shirt. Kame’s skin feels like it’s on fire and it almost burns when Jin touches him. But it’s a good burn and he wants more of it. Much more.
He likes it when Jin touches him like that. He really likes it. He would even forgive Jin for anything stupid he’s ever done, so long as Jin just doesn’t stop touching him like that.
Jin moves from his neck to his collarbone and Kame gasps, pressing himself even closer against Jin. He tugs onto the hem of Jin’s shirt, letting him know he should take it off. Quickly, Jin pulls away to get rid of the shirt, while Kame does the same and a moment later Jin’s lips are back on his chest.
Their hips are grinding together and Kame’s gut gets filled with that perfect feeling of pure pleasure. He lets out a little moan that he knows will drive Jin crazy. He’s right, because Jin groans into his skin and grinds their hips together again.
Kame thinks he’s about to explode, when Jin breathes his name into his ear and Kame’s hands are already fumbling with Jin’s belt. Just when he wants to wrap his hand around Jin, a phone goes off.
“Not now,” Kame moans, going back to what he was doing and Jin gasps when he finally gets a hand around him. That stupid phone of his, always going off when they’re just onto something.
“Yeah,” Jin breathes. He feels around on the floor and coffee table for his phone, but he can’t find it. Kame, being under him, looks to his side and sees the phone laying near a table leg. He grabs it and is about to turn it off, when he sees the caller ID.
Kame’s eyes narrows when he sees the name flashing on the screen. Not again. He tries to stay calm and props himself up on his elbows to look at Jin. “Jin, who is Miki?”
“Oh shit,” Jin says, grabbing the phone from Kame’s hands and turns it off.
Just what Kame was thinking. “For fuck’s sake, Jin,” he says, as he pushes Jin away and gets off the couch.
Jin sits back on his knees, holding his phone. “It’s not like that,” he says, but he looks flustered and it’s not from making out with Kame.
“Yeah, it is,” Kame says, getting angrier by the minute. “It’s one of your little girlfriends. Again. I’m sick and tired of being your second choice, Jin!”
“You know it’s not like that. I never-”
But Kame doesn’t want to hear it. Jin’s lucky he doesn’t kill him. “Get out.”
“Kame-”
“Get out,” Kame hisses, before turning on his heel and disappearing to his bedroom.
He sits down on his bed and wrenches his hands, as he hears Jin leave. Again. He doesn’t even remember why he wanted to date Jin in the first place.
02.
They kiss and make up a few days later, just like they always do afterwards. Kame always vows to himself never to forgive Jin, but that’s the thing: he can’t not forgive him. It’s like with a puppy. You’re mad at him for demolishing your couch, but when he gives you that look and whines, all you want to do is cuddle him. Jin is like that puppy. Including the eyes.
Jin promises to take Kame out for dinner on Sunday and Kame agrees. Because he knows what dinner will lead to and since he didn’t get laid last time, he’d like to this time.
Well, this time he won’t either.
“I am going to murder Jin!” Kame rages, as he bursts into the KAT-TUN dressing room on Monday morning. “Where is he?”
Koki, the only one in the room, looks up from his Blackberry with raised eyebrows. “Wow, Kame. What happened? You look like Jin just tried to kill your dog.”
Kame’s eye twitches a little and Koki gasps. “Oh no, he didn’t.”
“No, he didn’t,” Kame rolls his eyes. “He forgot our… appointment yesterday and I’ve been trying to call him all night, but he just wouldn’t pick up his phone… I really am going to kill him when I see him.”
“I’m sure he has a good reason,” Koki says, trying to sooth Kame a little, while his fingers tap away on his phone.
Yeah right, a good reason. Probably a reason with boobs.
Kame plops down onto the couch next to him with a sigh. “He’s driving me crazy.”
“Yeah, but in what way…” Ueda mutters, who has just enters the room with huge sunglasses on his head and his bag slung over his shoulder.
Kame’s eye twitches again.
“There, there,” Koki says, patting Kame on the knee. “Ueda, stop with the innuendo or Kame will kill you as well.”
“Great,” Ueda says. “I’m gonna get some coffee.” He drops his bag on the table, turns around on his heels and leaves the room again.
“Oh, can you get me some as well?” a horribly cheerful voice says and Kame jumps to his feet.
“You liar!” he shouts, pointing his finger at Jin who stands in the doorway, blinking at Kame like he doesn’t know what Kame’s talking about.
“Me?” Jin says, pointing to himself and it pisses off Kame even more.
“No, the wall behind you. Of course I meant you, you idiot,” Kame hisses through his clenched teeth. “Where were you last night,” he demands.
Jin scratches his head slowly. “Last night… Uh.”
Kame is this close to throwing whatever he can get his hands on at Jin. He can’t believe Jin would actually skip their date- no, appointment. Whatever. And then forget about it. He just can’t believe that. Because Jin may be a douche, even he can’t be that big of a douche.
“Oh right!” Jin calls out, like he just remembered. “Sorry ‘bout that. I uh - kind of fell asleep.”
“You fell asleep,” Kame repeats.
“Yeah. And when I woke up, it was already midnight and I didn’t want to bother you. In the middle of the night.”
Kame sighs and rubs his forehead. Jin is giving him headaches. But Jin has been giving him headaches ever since he can remember, so it’s nothing new.
“I need caffeine,” he moans.
“I’m sorry?” Jin tries again, this time with his puppy-eyes, but Kame is already on his way to the coffee machine to drown his misery.
03.
Another thing that gets on Kame’s nerves is the fact that Jin likes to go clubbing. Normally, Kame doesn’t have anything against clubbing, but when he goes with Jin it’s different… Jin likes to dance. Not just with Kame, but with everyone in the entire club. That includes girls. Lots of girls.
Kame usually pretends he doesn’t care that Jin dances with other people. Pretends that he doesn’t care that Jin’s hands are on a girl’s hips, that his body is way too close to hers, that she is smiling like she’s the happiest person in the world.
But Kame should be the one who is the happiest person in the world, not her. Jin is his boyfriend, for fuck’s sake. Even though he doesn’t know if he even could call Jin that. Jin is not very clear about that. Jin is not very clear about a lot of things, really.
Kame’s head is not clear now, either. He narrows his eyes as he watches Jin dancing on the dance floor. The music is pounding in his ears and he can feel the whiskey vibrating in his glass. When Jin dances alone, he likes to watch him, how his body move to the music, perfect in time with the beat. Now, it just annoys him. But he can’t avert his eyes, because it’s still Jin dancing.
Actually, Kame just wants Jin to dance with him and him alone.
He downs his whiskey in one go and asks for another one. He’s still staring at Jin and the girl. They’re too close to his taste and it doesn’t really help that Jin’s hands are sliding lower and lower.
He’s just waiting for something to happen.
A guy comes up to him and asks him to dance, but Kame declines. He’s not interested in other people, unlike someone else.
And then it happens. The girl leans forward to kiss him. Kame can see their lips touching. He is already on his feet and on his way to them. He grabs Jin’s arm and drags him off the dance floor to a more quiet place.
“Kame!” Jin calls out.
“What the hell, Jin!” Kame snaps, still holding Jin’s arm, maybe a little tighter than necessary. “What were you thinking?”
“She came onto me!” Jin says.
Kame rolls his eyes. “Yeah, sure. I saw the way you were dancing with her.”
“I thought you didn’t mind! You said so yourself!”
“That doesn’t mean I gave you permission to kiss chicks!” Kame yells back.
Jin sighs and rubs his temples. “I sometimes wonder who’s the chick here.”
“What did you just say, Akanishi?” Kame can’t stop himself from punching Jin in the shoulder.
“Ow, that hurts!” Jin groans, grabbing his shoulder.
“It’s supposed to hurt, you moron,” Kame says, while continuing to hit Jin wherever he can.
“Kame, stop that!” Jin tries to stop Kame by grabbing his arms, but Kame is faster.
“Not before you stop being such a douche!”
“If you stop hitting me, we can talk about it.”
Kame responds by punching his other shoulder.
“Okay, okay, I get it!” Jin calls out, so Kame will stop. “Let me make it up to you. I’ll take you out to dinner tomorrow. No falling asleep, ringing cell phones or dancing with girls. Alright?”
Finally, Kame stops hitting him. “You’re not gonna fuck it up again, are you?” he says, not trusting Jin at all.
“Of course not.”
“You better not,” Kame says. “You better not.”
04.
Sometimes Kame reminds himself that, despite all Jin’s flaws, there a tons of reasons why he fell in love in the first place. Jin’s smile for instance. His stupid high-pitched giggle. His well-toned body and his wavy hair. The way Jin can be childish one moment and extremely grown-up the next. The way Kame feels safe whenever he’s with Jin. The way Jin tries to be romantic…
And fails miserably.
Jin has promised to pick Kame up with his car, so Kame waits patiently for him in his living room, all dressed up. Of course, Jin is late, but Kame can deal with that, because Jin is usually late. He can wait another five minutes. Only five turns into ten turns into twenty and Kame is starting to lose his patience a little.
He is just about to pick up his phone to call Jin, when it starts ringing. “Yes?” Kame answers.
“Kame, I’m so sorry,” Jin says. “The traffic is awful. Would you mind coming yourself?”
Of course he minds. But he doesn’t tell Jin that. “No, that’s fine. See you in a bit.”
It isn’t the perfect start for a date, but it’s fine. Kame can deal with anything. He takes the train to Shibuya and walks to the cinema they planned to go to. Luckily, Jin is only a few minutes behind him this time..
“Hey,” Jin smiles when he sees Kame waiting for him. “I’m sorry about earlier.”
“That’s fine,” Kame says and he really means it. “Come on, our movie is almost starting.”
Kame knows Jin’s not a hero at picking movies and it’s not that bad as that one time when they went to see Transformers II together, but Kame could’ve thought of a more romantic film than Suckerpunch.
But it’s not that bad. Apart from the guns and the fighting and the dragons. And the fact that Jin can’t take a hint when Kame carefully places his hand on his arm rest, palm up. But Kame can deal with that, too.
“That was…interesting,” Kame says, when they leave the movie theater.
“Totally,” Jin grins at him. “It was awesome.”
While they walk to the restaurant where Jin has made reservations, they talk about the weather and work and baseball. It’s kind of awkward, but that’s totally okay.
Jin’s picked out a lovely restaurant, though and Kame has to compliment him on that. It’s a tiny, Chinese place and Jin has reserved a table for two at the back of the restaurant.
Kame thinks their date is going quite well, apart from a few, tiny hiccups. But Kame wishes it would a little more…romantic. Jin hasn’t held his hand yet. Or kissed him, not even on the cheek. But maybe he will later tonight, so Kame can wait a little longer.
Their food arrives after a bit and while they eat, Jin tells some story about that time he and Yamapi went to the beach together and Yamapi lost his swimming suit. It’s a pretty lame story, but Kame likes listening to Jin, because his voice is soothing and his laugh is endearing. And when Kame suggests to share a dessert, Jin agrees immediately.
Afterwards, Jin drops Kame off at his place and Kame thinks this date has gone quite well. So okay, Jin didn’t hold his hand or kissed him, but that’s fine, right? But it feels as if something’s missing. Something very important.
“So,” Jin says when they’re standing at Kame’s front door.
“Want to come in for a coffee?” Kame asks when he opens the door.
Jin nods. “Yeah,” he follows Kame inside.
As they wait for the coffee to be ready, Jin wraps his arms around Kame from behind and kisses his neck. Kame knows where this is going and even though he doesn’t mind that much, he kind of does.
“What’s wrong?” Jin asks as he feels Kame tense up in his arms.
“Nothing,” Kame smiles, but Jin knows there’s something up.
“Yes, there is,” Jin lets go of Kame and turns him around. “What did I do wrong this time?”
“Nothing,” Kame repeats. Jin raises an eyebrow at him and Kame sighs. “It’s just that…”
“What?”
Kame bites his lip. It would be better to say nothing at all, but Jin is staring down at him and he has to say something.
“You really suck at this romance thing,” he says and mentally slaps himself. That is so not what he actually wanted to say.
“Why thank you,” Jin replies and he doesn’t look too happy about it.
“No, I mean, you really suck at it. You can’t even tell me that you-”
“That I what?” Jin narrows his eyes at Kame, who stops talking immediately. Because Kame doesn’t actually know if Jin really loves him. Well, of course they both know Jin isn’t the romantic type, even though Kame wants him to be… but he still doesn’t know if Jin loves him.
“Nothing,” Kame snaps back.
“What? I’m not perfect enough for you?”
“Well, at least you could try.”
“Oh, I tried, alright,” Jin calls out. “You’re just never happy.”
“Well, it’s not like you make me happy.” Kame doesn’t mean to sound this bitchy, but he can’t help it.
Jin rolls his eyes. “I’m so done with you.”
“Great. I think it’s time you leave now. Before I - oh, I don’t know - rip off your head.”
“Good,” Jin says. “I’ll go. And never come back.”
“Fine,” Kame says. “You know where the door is.”
The door slams shut behind Jin and Kame stares at it, standing there alone in the hallway. Well, fine, he thinks. This is all just fucking great.
If Kame is not trying to kill Jin, then it’s Jin killing Kame.
05.
Kame knows this time there won’t be any kissing and making up, because most of the time, it’s Jin who apologizes first. But this time, it’s completely and utterly Kame’s fault they’ve gotten into this fight. Kame is even convinced they’ve broken up, although it hasn’t been said in those precise words.
Maybe it would be better he just forgot about Jin. But it’s so hard to pull his heart away. He is, after all, still in love with Jin.
He tries to make it better with calls and texts, but Jin never returns any of them and Kame probably deserves that. Kame doesn’t see Jin for an entire week, until he comes home one Friday night and finds Jin at his kitchen table.
“Wha-” Kame begins, when he sees the table is all set with plates and wine glasses and candles, still unlit.
“Sssht,” Jin gestures “Sit down.”
Kame nods. He pulls off his jacket and sits down across of Jin.
“I know I said I was done with you and I kind of still am,” Jin says and Kame wants to interrupt him, but Jin holds up a hand to stop him. “But I just don’t understand why you keep getting mad at me. I am trying, okay?”
“It’s because you won’t say you love me!” Kame suddenly blurts out. He puts a hand over his mouth, but it’s already too late.
“Then stop pushing me away!” Jin exclaims.
“I’m not pushing you away,” Kame says softly.
“Yeah, you are,” Jin says. “You want everything to be perfect, including me. But I’m not. You’ve got to let go of my shoulders and let me stand on my own.”
“What?” Kame says, confused.
“Uh…” Jin slides a hand through his hair. “I mean - you can’t control me like everything else in your life.” Jin looks down at his fingers and Kame thinks he may have a point there. “I have my own friends and I sometimes fall asleep and I like go to clubbing,” Jin says with a shrug.
“But you won’t hold my hand. Or kiss me goodnight,” Kame whispers.
“Yeah, that’s something I’m still working on.”
“I don’t even know if you love me.”
Jin rolls his eyes, then gestures that Kame should get up and then pulls him into his lap. “You really think I would’ve put up with all of your shit if I didn’t?”
Kame thinks Jin may be right about that. Even though dating Jin can be very hard, not dating Jin would be way harder. He doesn’t really know how to respond, so instead he grabs Jin’s still bruised shoulders and kisses him.
It starts slowly, but when Kame kisses him even harder, he pulls away with a gasp. “Are you trying to kill me or what?” he calls out.
Kame grins at him. “Be glad it’s not because I’m mad at you.”
“Yeah, I think I can live with that.”