fic for neurochip
Title: Caught in a Love Hangover
By: helicoptersky
Pairing: Kame/Jin
Word count: 6,050
Rating: PG-13 (swearing)
Genre/Warnings: Some Swearing, Humor
Notes: I really hope you like this, neurochip! ♥
Summary: Jin tries his hand at a love spell. Things don’t turn out exactly as planned.
He buys the book in a Lousiana, in a weird little voodoo shop in the historic French Quarter in New Orleans when he travels there with Josh and Bryan.
Jambalaya, The Natural Woman’s Book of Personal Charms and Practical Rituals, the cover says. He mainly buys it because Josh had dared him to go into the shop and even though all the spooky stuff in the window had seriously freaked Jin out, he couldn’t back down from a challenge like this, not in front of his cool friends. He just grabs the closest thing to the door and goes to pay. Better get out of this weird place as quickly as possible.
“Mon cher, lovely girl like you ain’t gon’ need the help of dis,” the woman behind the counter tells him with a generous, toothy smile. “Now, now, where put this?” Jin doesn’t understand a word she is saying, but he does understand she is calling him a girl.
Outside, his friends almost piss themselves laughing.
Two weeks later, and he finds himself sitting at home, stoned out of his mind, that very book in hand and flipping impatiently through the section called Love Spells and Rituals. There is too much text for him and he just flips page after page until he reaches what looks like simple instructions.
A few days ago Jin had met this gorgeous model when out clubbing. Nina. She is American - no, Canadian. Australian? Jin can’t really remember, but she is definitely the most beautiful girl he had ever seen, at least this month, and Jin wants her. Problem is, she doesn’t seem to be interested in Jin at all. Jin doesn’t understand - he’s rich, he’s famous, he’s cool, what’s there not to like? But while Nina flirts with him, and dances with him, and let’s him pay for all of her drinks, she just never accepts his offer to go home together.
“Forget it,” Josh says when Jin complains about it. “She’s a cock tease.”
“Yeah,” Bryan agrees. “She won’t put out unless you put her under some sort of spell. You know, with your magical wand.”
They all laugh and do another round of shots, but Jin remembers that little shop in New Orleans, the searching eyes of that creepy old lady, and the book that is catching dust like the other books in his bookshelf that he hasn’t read. (All of them.)
And so he goes home early that night, and opens the book, and when on the first page he reads something about trance, he puts on some electronic music and gets stoned.
*
The instructions for the love spell seem simple enough. Put ‘part of yourself’ in a cup, something like a piece of jewelry (maybe an amulet or a ring), add all these different sorts of herbs (they have weird names that Jin can’t pronounce but he’s sure he doesn’t need to understand to make the spell work), pour holy water in it, and while in trance say the spell printed in the book and name the object of love.
“Easy,” Jin says to himself.
He looks around the room and notices his ring display. There’s one ring that catches his eye immediately, one that he hadn’t thought about in a long time, one he’d sworn to never wear again, ever. Jin still remembers when he and Kame had bought the pair; a sign of their eternal friendship, nothing gay like the idiots of KAT-TUN (Ueda especially) had said. It was a promise to be bros forever - only it forever hadn’t been all that long, after all.
It’s easy to ignore the slight pang in his heart, Jin has gotten good at it over time. It’s been ages anyway, and he’s not even part of the group anymore.
Who the fuck cares, anyway.
This isn’t about Kame. This is about him, Jin Akanishi, the international superstar of tomorrow. This is about him getting laid.
He puts the ring in the coffee-stained Rilakkuma cup he’d grabbed from the sink and because he’s too lazy to actually find the herbs specified in the book, he just adds the rest of his weed. Surely that would work too - weed is awesome, after all. Jin pours some water on it, just from the sink, stirs it a little and sets it down on the table as carefully as possible - he knocks over his beer which spills all over his carpet, but that’s okay too. He’s gonna bang Nina on that very carpet soon enough.
This spell, however. Jin stares at the words on the page in deep confusion; weren’t they supposed to speak English in Louisiana? Wasn’t it part of America? This was definitely not English and Jin would know, seeing how he had become a master of the English language in only a few months.
“Oh well,” he says into the empty room. “I’ll just make up my own spell. I bet Gandalf made up his own spells.” Jin grabs the cup with both his hands and watches the ring swirl around inside for a little, before raising it in the air, and speaking in loud, slurred word, “EENIE -MEENIE, MINY MOO! Abracadabra! I command thee, Gods of -- of love-making, make the one who drinks from this potion fall in love with the best member to ever grace the presence of that lame undeserving group KAT-TUN!”
His wording is particularly clever, Jin thinks. It totally sounds like a real spell.
Tomorrow he’d slip the potion into Nina’s drink and then finally, finally, he’d get laid.
*
It all goes well, at first. Nina shows up, and she’s in a good (read: slutty) mood.
“Come on, let’s dance!” she shrieks into Jin’s ear, and Jin can tell he is getting pretty desperate, because against better judgement he follows her out of the safe VIP area and onto the crowded dance floor, letting her slide her small, curvy body against him while Bryan is making rude gestures at them from the corner. Every time he gets too close, though, every time he tries to put his hand a little too low on her hips, she laughs and pulls away.
Jin can’t help but agree with Josh’s assessment. Nina is definitely a cocktease.
It takes another agonizing three songs for her to get thirsty, but when she finally does, Jin readily offers to get her a drink - on him of course. It should bother him that she doesn’t even thank him, that she just tells him to hurry the fuck up, and would he please get the good stuff. But hey, he’s getting laid soon enough.
He doesn’t get the good stuff, and he’s not really fast either; it takes him ages to find a spot where no one can see what he is doing, and Jin spends at least five minutes just standing there, eyes darting around all paranoid, before he finally pulls the glass thing with the potion in it (bile or something, Jin can’t really remember, but it had come with the spellbook) out of his pocket and dumps its contents into Nina’s drink. SCORE.
When he gets back to the dancefloor, though, he’s surprised to find Bryan dancing with Nina.
What the fuck.
“Yo,” he says, trying to sound cool and not at all annoyed. He’s glad they’re in a club; he can feel his face turning red with instant rage and he’s pretty sure his voice just cracked. “Let us dance in peace, bro!”
“No prob’,” Bryan replies easily and smacks Jin’s shoulder. “Just lemme have a sip of whatever bitch drink you got there.”
Jin’s about the protest but Bryan is quicker than him and has already grabbed the Cosmo out of Jin’s hand. Jin can only watch in complete horror as Bryan downs the whole thing in one go.
“No--” Jin says, in vain.
“Oh, you suck,” Nina complains with a pout. “That was mine.”
Ryan blinks suddenly, tilts his head slightly and looks at Jin thoughtfully. Jin’s mind is screaming at him, FUCK FUCK FUCK, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT FOR. Why did he ever make a fucking love potion. Stupidest idea ever. Ever. And now instead of getting laid, one of his best friends would end up being in love with him. One of his cool American friends was going to be gay for him. This is different from his gay dancers, or Alex, who’s always at the club. Bryan is supposed to be into chicks. Everyone would assume Jin had turned him gay. Fuck.
“Fuck,” Jin repeats, out loud. “Fuckfuckfuck.”
“Hey Jin,” Bryan suddenly says with wide, blue eyes and leans in. Jin almost trips over his own feet when he tries to escape the sudden invasion of his private space. “So, I was thinking - you and me. Maybe we should leave and like--I don’t know-” Bryan bites his lower lip with uncertainty. Jin almost gags. “Well, I was wondering if you’d let me-- meet Kamenashi-kun?”
There is a small moment of silence. Bryan shuffles his feet and gulps. Nina crosses her arms over her chest, a bored look on her face.
“WHAT,” Jin screams.
*
Jin decides that the best action to take in this unexpected situation is to just sleep on it. He shoves Bryan in a cab - under protest because Bryan does not want to go home, Bryan wants to go see ‘Kame-chan’ - and makes him crash on his couch (easier to keep an eye on him), hoping that by the time morning rolls around everything would turn out to be just another drunken misunderstanding.
It’s not, though.
When Jin wakes up - it’s early evening and already getting dark outside - Bryan is waiting for him in the kitchen, fully dressed (in Jin’s clothes and wearing several of Jin’s most precious accessories) and- wearing eyeliner?
“What the fuck?” Jin says.
“Finally you’re awake!” Bryan beams. “Are we going to visit Kame-chan now?”
Jin stares. “What’s wrong with you,” he says after a short pause. “What’s up with your sudden obsession with Kamenashi?”
Bryan furrows his brows in obvious confusion. “What do you mean, sudden? I’ve always liked Kame-chan! That’s why I became friends with you!”
The brand-new iPhone4 (bought just a few weeks prior after he’d drunkenly misplaced his old one) that Jin throws in an onset of sudden rage barely misses Bryan’s head and the glass screen shatters into a million pieces when the phone lands on the floor. Jin huffs angrily. It had been time for his 7th iPhone anyway.
In the end Jin only manages to calm down Bryan by promising him to bring Kame to the club. This in itself had been a terrible, terrible idea, if only for the fact that it means Jin has to actually call Kame. He hasn’t called Kame in ages. Maybe he changed his number. Jin doesn’t even know what to say.
But the thought of Bryan starting to stalk Kame and proclaiming his undying love on the street is even more embarrassing so after fretting about it the entire night Jin finally picks up his phone and calls.
Kame picks up on the third ring.
“Hello?” Kame says, sounding slightly disoriented.
“Hey,” Jin says, awkwardly, acting like it’s totally normal for him to be calling Kame that early on a Saturday morning. “What’s up?”
Jin can hear Kame take a deep, controlled breath. “Did something happen?”
“What? No,” Jin says, confused. “Nothing happened! Why would you ask that?”
“So you’re just calling me at 4am to ask ‘what’s up’?” Kame’s voice sounds slightly annoyed now.
“I guess, yeah-” This is not going as planned. In Jin’s imagination the phone call hadn’t been awkward at all. After a little bit of annoying but necessary small talk Kame would have easily agreed to go out clubbing with Jin - after all, wasn’t everyone just dying to lead the life of Jin Akanishi? - and after proving to be his usual, boring, uptight self, Bryan would have immediately gotten over this dumb crush.
But Kame doesn’t seem to be as easily swayed by Jin’s disarming charm as he used to be. He hangs up.
Jin stares at his phone for a long moment, wondering what the hell had just happened. Had Kame really hung up on him? On him? He’s supposed to be the one to end calls. He’s always the one. And why isn’t Kame happy about receiving his call?
Jin does the only logical thing: He calls again. And again. And again. He tries for about an hour and a half, and finally, finally Kame picks up again.
“What?!” he says, voice defeated and not even hiding his annoyance anymore.
“Why don’t you want to talk to me?” Jin whines.
Kame sighs audibly. “I don’t not want to talk to you,” he says, and Jin can almost hear him rolling his eyes. “But it’s four am, and you don’t seem to have any apparent reason for even calling me.”
“Do too!” Jin screams. “My friend Bryan-” He almost blurts out the truth, that Bryan is magically in love with Kame and it needs to stop, but he catches himself just in time. “My friend Bryan is hosting a party tonight and I think you should come.”
“Your friend Bryan,” Kame repeats slowly. “American, I’m guessing? Somehow I don’t think we’d match-”
“He’s actually a French fashion designer and enjoys wine tastings and moldy cheese,” Jin quickly adds.
Kame snorts. “You just made that up.”
“YOU HAVE TO COME OKAY,” Jin finally wails. “MY FRIENDS REALLY WANT TO MEET YOU.”
“I highly doubt that-”
“TONIGHT, 11PM. I will text you the details,” Jin interrupts. “If you don’t come I will rat you out to Johnny.”
“Rat me out?” Kame asks. “You don’t even have anything-
“I’ll make something up, and you know I’m good at it,” Jin says and quickly hangs up.
*
Jin is already lounging at his favorite table when Kame arrives, and Jin spots him immediately. He stands out, like a farmer’s daughter at New York Fashion week, only the other way round. Kame’s not even wearing anything special, just jeans and a retarded red plaid shirt, but somehow he seems so much classier than basically everyone else in the sleazy Roppongi club.
As expected from the Eternal Best Jeanist, Jin thinks with a slightly jealous huff.
Before he can lazily wave Kame over to their table - he’d planned it in great detail; after all he needed to show Kame just how cool he’d become - Bryan has already spotted him and rushes over, gesticulating wildly.
“Hello!” Bryan yells over the loud music in awkward, heavily accented Japanese. “My name is Bryan. I am Jin friend!”
“Nice to meet you, I’m Kamenashi Kazuya,” Kame responds, polite as ever, and bows deeply.
Jin smirks. Everyone’s going to realize just how incredibly lame Kame is.
*
No one finds Kame lame.
It’s kind of a miracle and Jin can’t explain how it happens; Kame’s English is worse than Jin’s used to be, Bryan can’t speak any Japanese and Josh’s is rudimentary at best, but somehow Kame is a big hit with Jin’s American friends. Bryan, of course, is completely over the moon.
Jin suddenly doesn’t feel superior anymore, at all; he feels left out, like the losers in high school sitting at the sidelines while the cool kids joke around and have fun. This is ridiculous, it’s his club, his posse. They’re called the Akanishi troops in the tabloids, but somehow, right now, it feels more like the Annual Kamenashi Fanclub meeting. Even Kusano seems to have reverted to his former 15-year-old Kamenashi-worshipping self. It’s disgusting.
Every time Kame giggles loudly, every time he slaps his knees in hysterical laughter, Jin gets more annoyed until finally he can’t take it any longer.
“I’m going home,” he announces with a huff.
Kame gives him a weird look, but Jin ignores it. He ignores everyone, actually. Josh offering him their usual bro handshake, Mike with another round of shots, and Bryan who gives him happy thumbs up.
He purposely walks by Kame without so much as looking at him. Kame deserves it.
*
A week later, and things are finally looking up.
Jin had been looking forward to their early summer trip the the Enoshima beach for ages. Josh had promised to bring along a couple of girls he used to go to college with, and even Nina had wanted to come along. Not that Jin has even an ounce hope left on that matter, but it’s always nice to pretend. Today’s finally the day.
But when Jin calls Josh he is faced with unexpected disappointment.
“Dude, didn’t you get Kame-chan’s message?” Josh asks, seemingly surprised. “We’re going to see a baseball match today!”
As a matter of fact, Jin hadn’t read Kame’s text. He’d angrily deleted it without even opening it.
“You’re what?!” Jin asks, barely keeping himself from yelling. “We were supposed to go party at the beach today!”
“Sorry, dude,” Josh says. “Kame-chan scored really good seats for us! And we can go to the beach some other time, right?”
“Wait,” Jin says, a dreadful thought suddenly occurring to him. “What exactly do you mean by ‘us’? Who is going to the baseball match?”
“Just the three of us,” Josh says, matter-of-factly, like it’s the most obvious answer in the world. “Kame-chan, Bryan and me.”
“Oh, fuck you!” Jin finally explodes. “I fucking hate you, you’re the worst friend ever.”
“Dude,” Josh says, defiantly. “It’s just a baseball match. Aren’t you more into soccer anyway?”
“Fuck you!” Jin says again and hangs up.
*
Things start to go downhill from there. Bryan and Josh seem to be hanging out with Kame more and more. Jin petulantly deletes every message Kame sends him and goes to the club by himself almost every night; he always ends up bored out of his mind, though, and back home on his worn-out couch - alone - by midnight.
It’s all because of that stupid spell. He shouldn’t have bought that fucking book in the first place, and more importantly, he shouldn’t have been that desperate to get laid. Fuck everything. If only he could go back in time or something. If only there was a way to reverse the spell. But Jin doesn’t have a time machine handy and as for the spell reversal - Jin sits up straight suddenly, a self-satisfied smile on his face. Why hadn’t he thought of this earlier?
He’d just reverse the spell and everything would be fine.
An hour later and Jin has settled down at his dining table with the heavy, dusty spell book in front of him, opened to the page of his failed love spell. He’s confident he can do it right this time; he’s not going to make the same mistake twice. He’s also convinced that once he performs the reversed spell, everything would go back to the way it was. Flushed by sudden excitement, Jin quickly dumps the stupid ring into his cup, pours some tap water on it, and - since he doesn’t have ay marijuana at the moment - some of his regular tobacco.
“EENIE MEENIE, MINY MOO!” he chants, just like the first time. “Abracadabra! I command thee, Gods of -- of love-making, make the one who drinks from this potion fall in love with the-” Jin pauses, remembering he is supposed to reverse his spell. “With the lamest member in KAT-TUN!” He doesn’t exactly like calling himself the lame but he supposes that sitting in his living room reciting foreign love spells is already pretty lame in itself.
He pauses for a moment, then downs the potion himself. If the first one had been for the object of his affection, then a reversed potion would obviously be for him to drink. It doesn’t occur to him that that could possibly mean falling in love with himself.
Jin sleeps well for the first time in weeks. Tomorrow everything would finally be back to normal.
*
The next day Jin stops by Bryan’s place for the first time in ages, just to confirm the success of his spell. Bryan seems a little sleepy but normal, and less girly than he’d been recently. And to Jin’s delight Bryan promptly informs him that he’s excited about meeting some hot chick named Ally in Roppongi tonight.
“Awesome!” Jin says. “Who’s going?”
“The usual,” Bryan says with a shrug. “You, me, Josh, and Kame, I guess.”
“Jesus Christ,” Jin says and barely keeps himself from stomping his feet in rage. “You’ve still got that stupid crush on Kame! You still want to get into his pants!”
“What the fuck?” Bryan explains, giving Jin a weird look. “I don’t have a crush on Kame!”
“Then why is he coming along?” Jin shrieks.
“Huh?” Bryan seems honestly confused. “He’s cool.”
*
Jin storms out without even really knowing why. Bryan was back to his old, straight self and everything was almost back to normal. Almost. Even with the spell reversed, his friends had still turned out to be horrible, stupid traitors accepting a stranger into their midst and making Jin an outcast in return.
It doesn’t matter to Jin that basically he’d made himself an outcast. It’s still their fault.
He can’t even explain why Kame being friends with his friends annoys him so much. It’s not like he hates Kame. They’d had their fair share of problems, sure, but things had calmed down considerably over the past year and Jin’s pretty sure there isn’t any animosity between them anymore. It’s not that. But somehow seeing Kame giggling and joking with the guys fills him with rage.
When he really allows himself to think about it, it’s almost as if the problem isn’t Kame being with his friends, it’s his friends being with Kame. It’s the fact that somehow he still feels like he’s the only one allowed to make Kame laugh like that, the only one allowed to be Kame’s best friend. It’s ridiculous, really, they haven’t been that close for years, but Jin can’t help it.
He doesn’t dwell on it, because somehow he feels trying to find out the reason for his conflicting feelings might bring up issues he’d buried deep inside a long time ago. He definitely doesn’t want to go there.
But before he can even agonize about it, the shrill ringing of his phone pulls him out of his thoughts.
It’s Junno. He hasn’t talked to Junno in months.
“Hello?” Jin answers, anxious. If Junno’s calling him out of the blue something has to be wrong.
“Jin-chan!” Junno’s shrill, happy voice makes Jin’s ears hurt immediately. “It’s the man of your dreams, Junnosuke!”
“Taguchi?” Jin asks, still weary. “What’s wrong?”
“JI~N-CHA~N,” Junno sing-songs, louder this time. “Nothing wrong, I just miss you! What are you wearing?”
“What am I--” Jin slowly repeats. “What the fuck?”
“Is it one of your adorable little hoodies?” Junno asks. “I have to see you as soon as possible, it’s really been in ages. Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.”
Jin automatically groans at the horrible pun, but then, suddenly, a horrible realization dawns on him. No, it couldn’t be. He frantically thinks back to how he’d worded his spell the night before. The lamest member - but that couldn’t be Junno, could it? Nakamaru’s definitely lamer than Junno.
“Taguchi,” Jin says, eyes wide. “Why exactly do you suddenly want to hang out?”
Junno answers instantly. “Because I love you, of course! It suddenly occurred to me last night that I haven’t seen my cute boyfriend in a really long time. Don’t worry, I’ll take you out on the best date ever to make up for it.”
“NO YOU WON’T,” Jin yells, panicking. “I AM NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND.”
“Oh come on, Jin-chan,” Junno laughs. “You know you miss me too! After all, seven days without a pun makes one weak!”
“FUCK MY LIFE,” Jin says and hangs up.
*
Jin has always been under the impression that ignoring problems makes them go away. Sadly, this had never really worked in the past and it doesn’t work now. No matter how much he ignores Junno, he just doesn’t give up.
Monday he sends Jin ten bouquets of pink roses.
Tuesday he calls Jin’s cell phone 243 times, leaving a voice messages each and every time. Jin hadn’t known that one person could even know so many puns.
Wednesday Junno creates a disturbance in front of Jin’s apartments building by showing up in the middle of the night and attempting to serenade Jin from the street with a horrible, mangled rendition of Arashi’s Love So Sweet.
Thursday he shows up at Jin’s favorite club and keeps trying to grind with Jin until Jin cold-heartedly has him thrown out by the bouncer.
Friday he recites a love poem on Music Station and dedicates it to his ‘beloved lost little lamb Akanishi Jin’.
It has to stop.
*
Yamapi laughs in his face when Jin confides in him. Jin punches him in the shoulder but Yamapi only laughs harder, hysterically clutching at his stomach and tears of mirth forming in his eyes. Jin really wants to slap him, but he feels that that would only be counter-productive. He desperately needs Yamapi’s help.
“What the hell am I supposed do?” Jin wails. “Stop laughing and tell me what to do!”
“You should get married!” Yamapi shrieks in delight. “Taguchi Jin! Akanishi Junnosuke! Adorable-”
“Fuck you,” Jin says and turns to Ryo, his last resort.
“You deserve each other,” Ryo says. “You’re both stupid.”
*
Jin finds the phone number printed in tiny letters on the back cover of his spell book only because he’s ripping out random pages in complete and utter frustration. He’d read every fucking instruction and nothing seemed helpful. He’d even googled love spells but freaked out when he’d found gross descriptions of pig blood and skulls and other terrifying things.
The phone number says ‘for emergencies’. Jin’s weary about calling some American number, but desperate times call for desperate measures. And this is definitely an emergency. His call gets picked up after the third ring, and Jin recognizes the voice of the creepy lady who’d sold him the book.
“Um, hello, this is Jin Akanishi speaking,” he starts awkwardly. “I bought a- um, a spell book from you a while ago. And I tried out a- well, a love spell. But it didn’t work properly. And now I really want to reverse it…”
“My, My,” the woman laughs. “Told you ain’t gon’ need the help of spells.”
“PLEASE HELP ME,” Jin begs. “I’ll do anything! Anything to make this nightmare stop!”
“Is easy,” she says with a low chuckle. “‘Dis love created by false spells, can only made to disappear with love’s truth.”
“What?” Jin asks, confused. “I don’t know what that means.”
“Speak the truth,” the lady says. “Good luck to you, mon cherie.”
*
Jin doesn’t know how those instructions lead him to visit Kame, but it’s almost an involuntary reaction. Not even the embarrassment of having to ask Bryan for Kame’s new address had stopped him. It had seemed like the next logical step, no the only possible next step at the time, but when finally, after dodging about a dozen calls from Junno, he arrives at Kame’s doorstop he’s suddenly not so sure anymore.
This probably isn’t the best idea. He should probably go home. Just when he’s about to turn around and flee, Kame’s door opens.
“Why are you lurking in front of my apartment?” Kame asks, arms crossed.
“I’m not lurking,” Jin argues immediately. “It’s a coincidence I’m here!”
Kame raises his eyebrows in obvious amusement.
“What!” Jin cries. “I am!”
“Sure,” Kame says with a snort. “I’m sure that’s why you bullied Bryan into giving you my address and why you’re holding a piece of paper with directions on it.”
Jin quickly hides his hand behind his back and gnaws on his bottom lip, trying to come up with an excuse. He can’t.
“Come in,” Kame finally says and Jin follows him inside.
*
Jin ends up on Kame’s couch with Kame sitting in a giant armchair across from him. He wrings his hands together uncomfortably while Kame stares at him expectantly, obviously waiting for an explanation. Jin doesn’t have an explanation, though. Jin doesn’t even have a fucking clue why he’s here.
Except that’s kind of the lie. Deep down he knows why he’d been drawn to Kame’s place immediately after the voodoo lady had instructed him to reveal the truth. He knows that it’s related to feelings he’d had a long time ago, feelings he’d buried deep, deep down where no one could ever find them. He knows this whole thing is about the reason for the rift in their friendship, the reason they had stopped being best friends, the reason Jin had changed into a different person. It’s not that Jin doesn’t like who he is now; he does, and he’s pretty sure he’s made some sort of peace with the past, but what he is not sure about is what opening all these old wounds would do to him. What it would do to them.
They’d reached an understanding over the years; it had never gone back to the way it used to be, of course, but they were civil enough, on friendly terms even. But if Jin brought it up now, it might break apart all over again. And Jin doesn’t think he’s ready for that. He’s not - and yet, somehow, it feels like he needs to say it, like he needs to finally speak the words he hadn’t been able to say for all these years.
“I’m sorry,” Jin finally says, quietly.
“What?” Kame asks. “Sorry for what?”
“I’m sorry I told Johnny you were in gay love with me,” Jin elaborates, averting his eyes.
“Jin,” Kame says slowly. “I thought we’d agreed that we would never talk about that.”
“I have to talk about it, though!” Jin cries. “I never talked about it and it fucked up everything! If I don’t talk about it now-”
“Jin,” Kame interrupts again. “I forgave you for that I long time ago.”
“I know,” Jin says. “I know you did, but I never even explained or anything. I never told you why--” Kame starts protesting but Jin ignores it. “I told Johnny you were in love with me, because I was in love with you. I-I didn’t even know what the hell was happening to me and then Johnny started questioning me about our relationship and I don’t know, I just - panicked. I’m seriously sorry.”
Kame turns to look at Jin. “Tomorrow you’re going to regret saying all of that,” he says, with a gentle smile that reminds Jin a little bit of his mother.
“Nah,” Jin disagrees, realizing suddenly that his cellphone had been quiet for quite a while. “Everything is fine in the world as long as Taguchi is not hitting on me anymore.”
At that, Kame wrinkles his forehead. “What?”
It all comes tumbling out of Jin’s mouth, then. His trip to America, the stupid voodoo shop, the spells he’d cast, Bryan falling in love with Kame, Junno falling in love with Jin, the voodoo lady’s advice, all of it. Jin doesn’t make much sense at first, piecing words and phrases together as randomly as he thinks of them, but as he calms down and Kame asks all the right questions, the bigger picture becomes clear.
In the end they sit in silence, staring at each other.
“Well,” Kame finally says. “That’s all?” “I guess,” Jin shrugs.
“So your friends were hanging out with me because you put a spell on them?” There’s a slight trace of disappointment in Kame’s voice, almost inaudible, but Jin detects it immediately.
“Yeah,” Jin says. “Well, no. I only put a spell on Bryan, I guess. Josh and the others--I don’t know, for some reason they all think your cool.”
“Wow, thanks,” Kame says dryly.
“I didn’t mean it like that!” Jin cries. “I think you’re cool!”
Kame raises a delicate brow. “Oh yeah? Since when?”
“Since always!”
Kame snorts, and Jin thinks of everything the bookstore owner had told him. Of telling the truth. Part of him wants to believe that he is only doing this because he needs to get rid of Junno, but if he’s completely honest with himself (he rarely is), it’s mostly because he’s grown tired of pretending. He’s tired of fighting.
“I mean it,” Jin continues. “I still think you’re-well, you’re Kame.”
“Excellent observation skills,” Kame says dryly. “I’m so glad I have you.”
It’s obvious Kame meant to joke, but Jin’s face darkens anyway. “I am glad I have you,” he says, somehow managing to sound petulant during what he supposes is the closest he’d ever come to a love confession. “I don’t think I ever-- stopped. You know. I just hid it.”
Kame gives Jin a warm smile, then, and to Jin it feels like an unexpected ray of sunshine breaking through a wall of dark clouds. “Me too.”
“You’re lying!” Jin cries, immediately. “What about Kyoko?”
“What about Nina?” Kame retorts. “What about Amanda? Liz? Elena?”
“THAT’S DIFFERENT,” Jin says loudly.
Kame crosses his arms. “How is it different?”
“Because Kyoko is old,” Jin says, because really, isn’t it obvious?
Kame only laughs at that.
“ANYWAY,” Jin says. “Since I feel this way, and you feel this way, I guess it’s settled.”
“It’s settled,” Kame agrees, still laughing.
*
“Wait,” Jin says, after a couple of minutes. “Aren’t we supposed to like, kiss or something? Isn’t that what happens in all the movies?” He flushes as soon as he says it, clapping a hand in front of his mouth in embarrassment. Why had he still not learned to think before speaking?
Kame, however, purses his lips, obviously amused. “Why, Akanishi-kun, aren’t you quite the brazen hussy?”
“FUCK OFF,” Jin shrieks, burying his face in a pillow. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
“I didn’t say that,” Kame says and gives Jin a mock-seductive look. Jin promptly buries his face deeper into the pillow. “But since you’re behaving like an innocent little princess, I think it’s better if I don’t corrupt you just yet.”
That hurts Jin’s pride and he sits up quickly. He might not have a lot of experience with guys (okay, none), but he’d gotten quite the amount of action with all kinds of hot girls, thank you very much. He’s a master of seduction. He’s going to show Kame just how hot and amazing he is.
He jumps up and basically flings himself into Kame’s lap, grabbing his face and kissing him in a sexy and demanding way - at least he’d meant it to be demanding and sexy, but in reality it’s more clumsy and crude. One of Jin’s rings gets caught in Kame’s hair and upon realizing this Jin accidently bites down on Kame’s lip, making him yelp in pain. Jin pulls back immediately, face contorted in embarrassment.
“Well,” Kame says dryly, but upon seeing Jin’s horrified expression quickly adds, “I mean, wow.”
“Shut up!” Jin wails. “Shut up, shut up, shut up!”
He grabs Kame’s face and kisses him again. It’s only a little better than the first attempt, and Jin knows it. But it doesn’t matter. Kame’s totally, obviously, completely head over heels for Jin. Yes, Jin has Kame wrapped around his little finger.
And he hadn’t even put him under a spell.
By: helicoptersky
Pairing: Kame/Jin
Word count: 6,050
Rating: PG-13 (swearing)
Genre/Warnings: Some Swearing, Humor
Notes: I really hope you like this, neurochip! ♥
Summary: Jin tries his hand at a love spell. Things don’t turn out exactly as planned.
He buys the book in a Lousiana, in a weird little voodoo shop in the historic French Quarter in New Orleans when he travels there with Josh and Bryan.
Jambalaya, The Natural Woman’s Book of Personal Charms and Practical Rituals, the cover says. He mainly buys it because Josh had dared him to go into the shop and even though all the spooky stuff in the window had seriously freaked Jin out, he couldn’t back down from a challenge like this, not in front of his cool friends. He just grabs the closest thing to the door and goes to pay. Better get out of this weird place as quickly as possible.
“Mon cher, lovely girl like you ain’t gon’ need the help of dis,” the woman behind the counter tells him with a generous, toothy smile. “Now, now, where put this?” Jin doesn’t understand a word she is saying, but he does understand she is calling him a girl.
Outside, his friends almost piss themselves laughing.
Two weeks later, and he finds himself sitting at home, stoned out of his mind, that very book in hand and flipping impatiently through the section called Love Spells and Rituals. There is too much text for him and he just flips page after page until he reaches what looks like simple instructions.
A few days ago Jin had met this gorgeous model when out clubbing. Nina. She is American - no, Canadian. Australian? Jin can’t really remember, but she is definitely the most beautiful girl he had ever seen, at least this month, and Jin wants her. Problem is, she doesn’t seem to be interested in Jin at all. Jin doesn’t understand - he’s rich, he’s famous, he’s cool, what’s there not to like? But while Nina flirts with him, and dances with him, and let’s him pay for all of her drinks, she just never accepts his offer to go home together.
“Forget it,” Josh says when Jin complains about it. “She’s a cock tease.”
“Yeah,” Bryan agrees. “She won’t put out unless you put her under some sort of spell. You know, with your magical wand.”
They all laugh and do another round of shots, but Jin remembers that little shop in New Orleans, the searching eyes of that creepy old lady, and the book that is catching dust like the other books in his bookshelf that he hasn’t read. (All of them.)
And so he goes home early that night, and opens the book, and when on the first page he reads something about trance, he puts on some electronic music and gets stoned.
*
The instructions for the love spell seem simple enough. Put ‘part of yourself’ in a cup, something like a piece of jewelry (maybe an amulet or a ring), add all these different sorts of herbs (they have weird names that Jin can’t pronounce but he’s sure he doesn’t need to understand to make the spell work), pour holy water in it, and while in trance say the spell printed in the book and name the object of love.
“Easy,” Jin says to himself.
He looks around the room and notices his ring display. There’s one ring that catches his eye immediately, one that he hadn’t thought about in a long time, one he’d sworn to never wear again, ever. Jin still remembers when he and Kame had bought the pair; a sign of their eternal friendship, nothing gay like the idiots of KAT-TUN (Ueda especially) had said. It was a promise to be bros forever - only it forever hadn’t been all that long, after all.
It’s easy to ignore the slight pang in his heart, Jin has gotten good at it over time. It’s been ages anyway, and he’s not even part of the group anymore.
Who the fuck cares, anyway.
This isn’t about Kame. This is about him, Jin Akanishi, the international superstar of tomorrow. This is about him getting laid.
He puts the ring in the coffee-stained Rilakkuma cup he’d grabbed from the sink and because he’s too lazy to actually find the herbs specified in the book, he just adds the rest of his weed. Surely that would work too - weed is awesome, after all. Jin pours some water on it, just from the sink, stirs it a little and sets it down on the table as carefully as possible - he knocks over his beer which spills all over his carpet, but that’s okay too. He’s gonna bang Nina on that very carpet soon enough.
This spell, however. Jin stares at the words on the page in deep confusion; weren’t they supposed to speak English in Louisiana? Wasn’t it part of America? This was definitely not English and Jin would know, seeing how he had become a master of the English language in only a few months.
“Oh well,” he says into the empty room. “I’ll just make up my own spell. I bet Gandalf made up his own spells.” Jin grabs the cup with both his hands and watches the ring swirl around inside for a little, before raising it in the air, and speaking in loud, slurred word, “EENIE -MEENIE, MINY MOO! Abracadabra! I command thee, Gods of -- of love-making, make the one who drinks from this potion fall in love with the best member to ever grace the presence of that lame undeserving group KAT-TUN!”
His wording is particularly clever, Jin thinks. It totally sounds like a real spell.
Tomorrow he’d slip the potion into Nina’s drink and then finally, finally, he’d get laid.
*
It all goes well, at first. Nina shows up, and she’s in a good (read: slutty) mood.
“Come on, let’s dance!” she shrieks into Jin’s ear, and Jin can tell he is getting pretty desperate, because against better judgement he follows her out of the safe VIP area and onto the crowded dance floor, letting her slide her small, curvy body against him while Bryan is making rude gestures at them from the corner. Every time he gets too close, though, every time he tries to put his hand a little too low on her hips, she laughs and pulls away.
Jin can’t help but agree with Josh’s assessment. Nina is definitely a cocktease.
It takes another agonizing three songs for her to get thirsty, but when she finally does, Jin readily offers to get her a drink - on him of course. It should bother him that she doesn’t even thank him, that she just tells him to hurry the fuck up, and would he please get the good stuff. But hey, he’s getting laid soon enough.
He doesn’t get the good stuff, and he’s not really fast either; it takes him ages to find a spot where no one can see what he is doing, and Jin spends at least five minutes just standing there, eyes darting around all paranoid, before he finally pulls the glass thing with the potion in it (bile or something, Jin can’t really remember, but it had come with the spellbook) out of his pocket and dumps its contents into Nina’s drink. SCORE.
When he gets back to the dancefloor, though, he’s surprised to find Bryan dancing with Nina.
What the fuck.
“Yo,” he says, trying to sound cool and not at all annoyed. He’s glad they’re in a club; he can feel his face turning red with instant rage and he’s pretty sure his voice just cracked. “Let us dance in peace, bro!”
“No prob’,” Bryan replies easily and smacks Jin’s shoulder. “Just lemme have a sip of whatever bitch drink you got there.”
Jin’s about the protest but Bryan is quicker than him and has already grabbed the Cosmo out of Jin’s hand. Jin can only watch in complete horror as Bryan downs the whole thing in one go.
“No--” Jin says, in vain.
“Oh, you suck,” Nina complains with a pout. “That was mine.”
Ryan blinks suddenly, tilts his head slightly and looks at Jin thoughtfully. Jin’s mind is screaming at him, FUCK FUCK FUCK, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT FOR. Why did he ever make a fucking love potion. Stupidest idea ever. Ever. And now instead of getting laid, one of his best friends would end up being in love with him. One of his cool American friends was going to be gay for him. This is different from his gay dancers, or Alex, who’s always at the club. Bryan is supposed to be into chicks. Everyone would assume Jin had turned him gay. Fuck.
“Fuck,” Jin repeats, out loud. “Fuckfuckfuck.”
“Hey Jin,” Bryan suddenly says with wide, blue eyes and leans in. Jin almost trips over his own feet when he tries to escape the sudden invasion of his private space. “So, I was thinking - you and me. Maybe we should leave and like--I don’t know-” Bryan bites his lower lip with uncertainty. Jin almost gags. “Well, I was wondering if you’d let me-- meet Kamenashi-kun?”
There is a small moment of silence. Bryan shuffles his feet and gulps. Nina crosses her arms over her chest, a bored look on her face.
“WHAT,” Jin screams.
*
Jin decides that the best action to take in this unexpected situation is to just sleep on it. He shoves Bryan in a cab - under protest because Bryan does not want to go home, Bryan wants to go see ‘Kame-chan’ - and makes him crash on his couch (easier to keep an eye on him), hoping that by the time morning rolls around everything would turn out to be just another drunken misunderstanding.
It’s not, though.
When Jin wakes up - it’s early evening and already getting dark outside - Bryan is waiting for him in the kitchen, fully dressed (in Jin’s clothes and wearing several of Jin’s most precious accessories) and- wearing eyeliner?
“What the fuck?” Jin says.
“Finally you’re awake!” Bryan beams. “Are we going to visit Kame-chan now?”
Jin stares. “What’s wrong with you,” he says after a short pause. “What’s up with your sudden obsession with Kamenashi?”
Bryan furrows his brows in obvious confusion. “What do you mean, sudden? I’ve always liked Kame-chan! That’s why I became friends with you!”
The brand-new iPhone4 (bought just a few weeks prior after he’d drunkenly misplaced his old one) that Jin throws in an onset of sudden rage barely misses Bryan’s head and the glass screen shatters into a million pieces when the phone lands on the floor. Jin huffs angrily. It had been time for his 7th iPhone anyway.
In the end Jin only manages to calm down Bryan by promising him to bring Kame to the club. This in itself had been a terrible, terrible idea, if only for the fact that it means Jin has to actually call Kame. He hasn’t called Kame in ages. Maybe he changed his number. Jin doesn’t even know what to say.
But the thought of Bryan starting to stalk Kame and proclaiming his undying love on the street is even more embarrassing so after fretting about it the entire night Jin finally picks up his phone and calls.
Kame picks up on the third ring.
“Hello?” Kame says, sounding slightly disoriented.
“Hey,” Jin says, awkwardly, acting like it’s totally normal for him to be calling Kame that early on a Saturday morning. “What’s up?”
Jin can hear Kame take a deep, controlled breath. “Did something happen?”
“What? No,” Jin says, confused. “Nothing happened! Why would you ask that?”
“So you’re just calling me at 4am to ask ‘what’s up’?” Kame’s voice sounds slightly annoyed now.
“I guess, yeah-” This is not going as planned. In Jin’s imagination the phone call hadn’t been awkward at all. After a little bit of annoying but necessary small talk Kame would have easily agreed to go out clubbing with Jin - after all, wasn’t everyone just dying to lead the life of Jin Akanishi? - and after proving to be his usual, boring, uptight self, Bryan would have immediately gotten over this dumb crush.
But Kame doesn’t seem to be as easily swayed by Jin’s disarming charm as he used to be. He hangs up.
Jin stares at his phone for a long moment, wondering what the hell had just happened. Had Kame really hung up on him? On him? He’s supposed to be the one to end calls. He’s always the one. And why isn’t Kame happy about receiving his call?
Jin does the only logical thing: He calls again. And again. And again. He tries for about an hour and a half, and finally, finally Kame picks up again.
“What?!” he says, voice defeated and not even hiding his annoyance anymore.
“Why don’t you want to talk to me?” Jin whines.
Kame sighs audibly. “I don’t not want to talk to you,” he says, and Jin can almost hear him rolling his eyes. “But it’s four am, and you don’t seem to have any apparent reason for even calling me.”
“Do too!” Jin screams. “My friend Bryan-” He almost blurts out the truth, that Bryan is magically in love with Kame and it needs to stop, but he catches himself just in time. “My friend Bryan is hosting a party tonight and I think you should come.”
“Your friend Bryan,” Kame repeats slowly. “American, I’m guessing? Somehow I don’t think we’d match-”
“He’s actually a French fashion designer and enjoys wine tastings and moldy cheese,” Jin quickly adds.
Kame snorts. “You just made that up.”
“YOU HAVE TO COME OKAY,” Jin finally wails. “MY FRIENDS REALLY WANT TO MEET YOU.”
“I highly doubt that-”
“TONIGHT, 11PM. I will text you the details,” Jin interrupts. “If you don’t come I will rat you out to Johnny.”
“Rat me out?” Kame asks. “You don’t even have anything-
“I’ll make something up, and you know I’m good at it,” Jin says and quickly hangs up.
*
Jin is already lounging at his favorite table when Kame arrives, and Jin spots him immediately. He stands out, like a farmer’s daughter at New York Fashion week, only the other way round. Kame’s not even wearing anything special, just jeans and a retarded red plaid shirt, but somehow he seems so much classier than basically everyone else in the sleazy Roppongi club.
As expected from the Eternal Best Jeanist, Jin thinks with a slightly jealous huff.
Before he can lazily wave Kame over to their table - he’d planned it in great detail; after all he needed to show Kame just how cool he’d become - Bryan has already spotted him and rushes over, gesticulating wildly.
“Hello!” Bryan yells over the loud music in awkward, heavily accented Japanese. “My name is Bryan. I am Jin friend!”
“Nice to meet you, I’m Kamenashi Kazuya,” Kame responds, polite as ever, and bows deeply.
Jin smirks. Everyone’s going to realize just how incredibly lame Kame is.
*
No one finds Kame lame.
It’s kind of a miracle and Jin can’t explain how it happens; Kame’s English is worse than Jin’s used to be, Bryan can’t speak any Japanese and Josh’s is rudimentary at best, but somehow Kame is a big hit with Jin’s American friends. Bryan, of course, is completely over the moon.
Jin suddenly doesn’t feel superior anymore, at all; he feels left out, like the losers in high school sitting at the sidelines while the cool kids joke around and have fun. This is ridiculous, it’s his club, his posse. They’re called the Akanishi troops in the tabloids, but somehow, right now, it feels more like the Annual Kamenashi Fanclub meeting. Even Kusano seems to have reverted to his former 15-year-old Kamenashi-worshipping self. It’s disgusting.
Every time Kame giggles loudly, every time he slaps his knees in hysterical laughter, Jin gets more annoyed until finally he can’t take it any longer.
“I’m going home,” he announces with a huff.
Kame gives him a weird look, but Jin ignores it. He ignores everyone, actually. Josh offering him their usual bro handshake, Mike with another round of shots, and Bryan who gives him happy thumbs up.
He purposely walks by Kame without so much as looking at him. Kame deserves it.
*
A week later, and things are finally looking up.
Jin had been looking forward to their early summer trip the the Enoshima beach for ages. Josh had promised to bring along a couple of girls he used to go to college with, and even Nina had wanted to come along. Not that Jin has even an ounce hope left on that matter, but it’s always nice to pretend. Today’s finally the day.
But when Jin calls Josh he is faced with unexpected disappointment.
“Dude, didn’t you get Kame-chan’s message?” Josh asks, seemingly surprised. “We’re going to see a baseball match today!”
As a matter of fact, Jin hadn’t read Kame’s text. He’d angrily deleted it without even opening it.
“You’re what?!” Jin asks, barely keeping himself from yelling. “We were supposed to go party at the beach today!”
“Sorry, dude,” Josh says. “Kame-chan scored really good seats for us! And we can go to the beach some other time, right?”
“Wait,” Jin says, a dreadful thought suddenly occurring to him. “What exactly do you mean by ‘us’? Who is going to the baseball match?”
“Just the three of us,” Josh says, matter-of-factly, like it’s the most obvious answer in the world. “Kame-chan, Bryan and me.”
“Oh, fuck you!” Jin finally explodes. “I fucking hate you, you’re the worst friend ever.”
“Dude,” Josh says, defiantly. “It’s just a baseball match. Aren’t you more into soccer anyway?”
“Fuck you!” Jin says again and hangs up.
*
Things start to go downhill from there. Bryan and Josh seem to be hanging out with Kame more and more. Jin petulantly deletes every message Kame sends him and goes to the club by himself almost every night; he always ends up bored out of his mind, though, and back home on his worn-out couch - alone - by midnight.
It’s all because of that stupid spell. He shouldn’t have bought that fucking book in the first place, and more importantly, he shouldn’t have been that desperate to get laid. Fuck everything. If only he could go back in time or something. If only there was a way to reverse the spell. But Jin doesn’t have a time machine handy and as for the spell reversal - Jin sits up straight suddenly, a self-satisfied smile on his face. Why hadn’t he thought of this earlier?
He’d just reverse the spell and everything would be fine.
An hour later and Jin has settled down at his dining table with the heavy, dusty spell book in front of him, opened to the page of his failed love spell. He’s confident he can do it right this time; he’s not going to make the same mistake twice. He’s also convinced that once he performs the reversed spell, everything would go back to the way it was. Flushed by sudden excitement, Jin quickly dumps the stupid ring into his cup, pours some tap water on it, and - since he doesn’t have ay marijuana at the moment - some of his regular tobacco.
“EENIE MEENIE, MINY MOO!” he chants, just like the first time. “Abracadabra! I command thee, Gods of -- of love-making, make the one who drinks from this potion fall in love with the-” Jin pauses, remembering he is supposed to reverse his spell. “With the lamest member in KAT-TUN!” He doesn’t exactly like calling himself the lame but he supposes that sitting in his living room reciting foreign love spells is already pretty lame in itself.
He pauses for a moment, then downs the potion himself. If the first one had been for the object of his affection, then a reversed potion would obviously be for him to drink. It doesn’t occur to him that that could possibly mean falling in love with himself.
Jin sleeps well for the first time in weeks. Tomorrow everything would finally be back to normal.
*
The next day Jin stops by Bryan’s place for the first time in ages, just to confirm the success of his spell. Bryan seems a little sleepy but normal, and less girly than he’d been recently. And to Jin’s delight Bryan promptly informs him that he’s excited about meeting some hot chick named Ally in Roppongi tonight.
“Awesome!” Jin says. “Who’s going?”
“The usual,” Bryan says with a shrug. “You, me, Josh, and Kame, I guess.”
“Jesus Christ,” Jin says and barely keeps himself from stomping his feet in rage. “You’ve still got that stupid crush on Kame! You still want to get into his pants!”
“What the fuck?” Bryan explains, giving Jin a weird look. “I don’t have a crush on Kame!”
“Then why is he coming along?” Jin shrieks.
“Huh?” Bryan seems honestly confused. “He’s cool.”
*
Jin storms out without even really knowing why. Bryan was back to his old, straight self and everything was almost back to normal. Almost. Even with the spell reversed, his friends had still turned out to be horrible, stupid traitors accepting a stranger into their midst and making Jin an outcast in return.
It doesn’t matter to Jin that basically he’d made himself an outcast. It’s still their fault.
He can’t even explain why Kame being friends with his friends annoys him so much. It’s not like he hates Kame. They’d had their fair share of problems, sure, but things had calmed down considerably over the past year and Jin’s pretty sure there isn’t any animosity between them anymore. It’s not that. But somehow seeing Kame giggling and joking with the guys fills him with rage.
When he really allows himself to think about it, it’s almost as if the problem isn’t Kame being with his friends, it’s his friends being with Kame. It’s the fact that somehow he still feels like he’s the only one allowed to make Kame laugh like that, the only one allowed to be Kame’s best friend. It’s ridiculous, really, they haven’t been that close for years, but Jin can’t help it.
He doesn’t dwell on it, because somehow he feels trying to find out the reason for his conflicting feelings might bring up issues he’d buried deep inside a long time ago. He definitely doesn’t want to go there.
But before he can even agonize about it, the shrill ringing of his phone pulls him out of his thoughts.
It’s Junno. He hasn’t talked to Junno in months.
“Hello?” Jin answers, anxious. If Junno’s calling him out of the blue something has to be wrong.
“Jin-chan!” Junno’s shrill, happy voice makes Jin’s ears hurt immediately. “It’s the man of your dreams, Junnosuke!”
“Taguchi?” Jin asks, still weary. “What’s wrong?”
“JI~N-CHA~N,” Junno sing-songs, louder this time. “Nothing wrong, I just miss you! What are you wearing?”
“What am I--” Jin slowly repeats. “What the fuck?”
“Is it one of your adorable little hoodies?” Junno asks. “I have to see you as soon as possible, it’s really been in ages. Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.”
Jin automatically groans at the horrible pun, but then, suddenly, a horrible realization dawns on him. No, it couldn’t be. He frantically thinks back to how he’d worded his spell the night before. The lamest member - but that couldn’t be Junno, could it? Nakamaru’s definitely lamer than Junno.
“Taguchi,” Jin says, eyes wide. “Why exactly do you suddenly want to hang out?”
Junno answers instantly. “Because I love you, of course! It suddenly occurred to me last night that I haven’t seen my cute boyfriend in a really long time. Don’t worry, I’ll take you out on the best date ever to make up for it.”
“NO YOU WON’T,” Jin yells, panicking. “I AM NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND.”
“Oh come on, Jin-chan,” Junno laughs. “You know you miss me too! After all, seven days without a pun makes one weak!”
“FUCK MY LIFE,” Jin says and hangs up.
*
Jin has always been under the impression that ignoring problems makes them go away. Sadly, this had never really worked in the past and it doesn’t work now. No matter how much he ignores Junno, he just doesn’t give up.
Monday he sends Jin ten bouquets of pink roses.
Tuesday he calls Jin’s cell phone 243 times, leaving a voice messages each and every time. Jin hadn’t known that one person could even know so many puns.
Wednesday Junno creates a disturbance in front of Jin’s apartments building by showing up in the middle of the night and attempting to serenade Jin from the street with a horrible, mangled rendition of Arashi’s Love So Sweet.
Thursday he shows up at Jin’s favorite club and keeps trying to grind with Jin until Jin cold-heartedly has him thrown out by the bouncer.
Friday he recites a love poem on Music Station and dedicates it to his ‘beloved lost little lamb Akanishi Jin’.
It has to stop.
*
Yamapi laughs in his face when Jin confides in him. Jin punches him in the shoulder but Yamapi only laughs harder, hysterically clutching at his stomach and tears of mirth forming in his eyes. Jin really wants to slap him, but he feels that that would only be counter-productive. He desperately needs Yamapi’s help.
“What the hell am I supposed do?” Jin wails. “Stop laughing and tell me what to do!”
“You should get married!” Yamapi shrieks in delight. “Taguchi Jin! Akanishi Junnosuke! Adorable-”
“Fuck you,” Jin says and turns to Ryo, his last resort.
“You deserve each other,” Ryo says. “You’re both stupid.”
*
Jin finds the phone number printed in tiny letters on the back cover of his spell book only because he’s ripping out random pages in complete and utter frustration. He’d read every fucking instruction and nothing seemed helpful. He’d even googled love spells but freaked out when he’d found gross descriptions of pig blood and skulls and other terrifying things.
The phone number says ‘for emergencies’. Jin’s weary about calling some American number, but desperate times call for desperate measures. And this is definitely an emergency. His call gets picked up after the third ring, and Jin recognizes the voice of the creepy lady who’d sold him the book.
“Um, hello, this is Jin Akanishi speaking,” he starts awkwardly. “I bought a- um, a spell book from you a while ago. And I tried out a- well, a love spell. But it didn’t work properly. And now I really want to reverse it…”
“My, My,” the woman laughs. “Told you ain’t gon’ need the help of spells.”
“PLEASE HELP ME,” Jin begs. “I’ll do anything! Anything to make this nightmare stop!”
“Is easy,” she says with a low chuckle. “‘Dis love created by false spells, can only made to disappear with love’s truth.”
“What?” Jin asks, confused. “I don’t know what that means.”
“Speak the truth,” the lady says. “Good luck to you, mon cherie.”
*
Jin doesn’t know how those instructions lead him to visit Kame, but it’s almost an involuntary reaction. Not even the embarrassment of having to ask Bryan for Kame’s new address had stopped him. It had seemed like the next logical step, no the only possible next step at the time, but when finally, after dodging about a dozen calls from Junno, he arrives at Kame’s doorstop he’s suddenly not so sure anymore.
This probably isn’t the best idea. He should probably go home. Just when he’s about to turn around and flee, Kame’s door opens.
“Why are you lurking in front of my apartment?” Kame asks, arms crossed.
“I’m not lurking,” Jin argues immediately. “It’s a coincidence I’m here!”
Kame raises his eyebrows in obvious amusement.
“What!” Jin cries. “I am!”
“Sure,” Kame says with a snort. “I’m sure that’s why you bullied Bryan into giving you my address and why you’re holding a piece of paper with directions on it.”
Jin quickly hides his hand behind his back and gnaws on his bottom lip, trying to come up with an excuse. He can’t.
“Come in,” Kame finally says and Jin follows him inside.
*
Jin ends up on Kame’s couch with Kame sitting in a giant armchair across from him. He wrings his hands together uncomfortably while Kame stares at him expectantly, obviously waiting for an explanation. Jin doesn’t have an explanation, though. Jin doesn’t even have a fucking clue why he’s here.
Except that’s kind of the lie. Deep down he knows why he’d been drawn to Kame’s place immediately after the voodoo lady had instructed him to reveal the truth. He knows that it’s related to feelings he’d had a long time ago, feelings he’d buried deep, deep down where no one could ever find them. He knows this whole thing is about the reason for the rift in their friendship, the reason they had stopped being best friends, the reason Jin had changed into a different person. It’s not that Jin doesn’t like who he is now; he does, and he’s pretty sure he’s made some sort of peace with the past, but what he is not sure about is what opening all these old wounds would do to him. What it would do to them.
They’d reached an understanding over the years; it had never gone back to the way it used to be, of course, but they were civil enough, on friendly terms even. But if Jin brought it up now, it might break apart all over again. And Jin doesn’t think he’s ready for that. He’s not - and yet, somehow, it feels like he needs to say it, like he needs to finally speak the words he hadn’t been able to say for all these years.
“I’m sorry,” Jin finally says, quietly.
“What?” Kame asks. “Sorry for what?”
“I’m sorry I told Johnny you were in gay love with me,” Jin elaborates, averting his eyes.
“Jin,” Kame says slowly. “I thought we’d agreed that we would never talk about that.”
“I have to talk about it, though!” Jin cries. “I never talked about it and it fucked up everything! If I don’t talk about it now-”
“Jin,” Kame interrupts again. “I forgave you for that I long time ago.”
“I know,” Jin says. “I know you did, but I never even explained or anything. I never told you why--” Kame starts protesting but Jin ignores it. “I told Johnny you were in love with me, because I was in love with you. I-I didn’t even know what the hell was happening to me and then Johnny started questioning me about our relationship and I don’t know, I just - panicked. I’m seriously sorry.”
Kame turns to look at Jin. “Tomorrow you’re going to regret saying all of that,” he says, with a gentle smile that reminds Jin a little bit of his mother.
“Nah,” Jin disagrees, realizing suddenly that his cellphone had been quiet for quite a while. “Everything is fine in the world as long as Taguchi is not hitting on me anymore.”
At that, Kame wrinkles his forehead. “What?”
It all comes tumbling out of Jin’s mouth, then. His trip to America, the stupid voodoo shop, the spells he’d cast, Bryan falling in love with Kame, Junno falling in love with Jin, the voodoo lady’s advice, all of it. Jin doesn’t make much sense at first, piecing words and phrases together as randomly as he thinks of them, but as he calms down and Kame asks all the right questions, the bigger picture becomes clear.
In the end they sit in silence, staring at each other.
“Well,” Kame finally says. “That’s all?” “I guess,” Jin shrugs.
“So your friends were hanging out with me because you put a spell on them?” There’s a slight trace of disappointment in Kame’s voice, almost inaudible, but Jin detects it immediately.
“Yeah,” Jin says. “Well, no. I only put a spell on Bryan, I guess. Josh and the others--I don’t know, for some reason they all think your cool.”
“Wow, thanks,” Kame says dryly.
“I didn’t mean it like that!” Jin cries. “I think you’re cool!”
Kame raises a delicate brow. “Oh yeah? Since when?”
“Since always!”
Kame snorts, and Jin thinks of everything the bookstore owner had told him. Of telling the truth. Part of him wants to believe that he is only doing this because he needs to get rid of Junno, but if he’s completely honest with himself (he rarely is), it’s mostly because he’s grown tired of pretending. He’s tired of fighting.
“I mean it,” Jin continues. “I still think you’re-well, you’re Kame.”
“Excellent observation skills,” Kame says dryly. “I’m so glad I have you.”
It’s obvious Kame meant to joke, but Jin’s face darkens anyway. “I am glad I have you,” he says, somehow managing to sound petulant during what he supposes is the closest he’d ever come to a love confession. “I don’t think I ever-- stopped. You know. I just hid it.”
Kame gives Jin a warm smile, then, and to Jin it feels like an unexpected ray of sunshine breaking through a wall of dark clouds. “Me too.”
“You’re lying!” Jin cries, immediately. “What about Kyoko?”
“What about Nina?” Kame retorts. “What about Amanda? Liz? Elena?”
“THAT’S DIFFERENT,” Jin says loudly.
Kame crosses his arms. “How is it different?”
“Because Kyoko is old,” Jin says, because really, isn’t it obvious?
Kame only laughs at that.
“ANYWAY,” Jin says. “Since I feel this way, and you feel this way, I guess it’s settled.”
“It’s settled,” Kame agrees, still laughing.
*
“Wait,” Jin says, after a couple of minutes. “Aren’t we supposed to like, kiss or something? Isn’t that what happens in all the movies?” He flushes as soon as he says it, clapping a hand in front of his mouth in embarrassment. Why had he still not learned to think before speaking?
Kame, however, purses his lips, obviously amused. “Why, Akanishi-kun, aren’t you quite the brazen hussy?”
“FUCK OFF,” Jin shrieks, burying his face in a pillow. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
“I didn’t say that,” Kame says and gives Jin a mock-seductive look. Jin promptly buries his face deeper into the pillow. “But since you’re behaving like an innocent little princess, I think it’s better if I don’t corrupt you just yet.”
That hurts Jin’s pride and he sits up quickly. He might not have a lot of experience with guys (okay, none), but he’d gotten quite the amount of action with all kinds of hot girls, thank you very much. He’s a master of seduction. He’s going to show Kame just how hot and amazing he is.
He jumps up and basically flings himself into Kame’s lap, grabbing his face and kissing him in a sexy and demanding way - at least he’d meant it to be demanding and sexy, but in reality it’s more clumsy and crude. One of Jin’s rings gets caught in Kame’s hair and upon realizing this Jin accidently bites down on Kame’s lip, making him yelp in pain. Jin pulls back immediately, face contorted in embarrassment.
“Well,” Kame says dryly, but upon seeing Jin’s horrified expression quickly adds, “I mean, wow.”
“Shut up!” Jin wails. “Shut up, shut up, shut up!”
He grabs Kame’s face and kisses him again. It’s only a little better than the first attempt, and Jin knows it. But it doesn’t matter. Kame’s totally, obviously, completely head over heels for Jin. Yes, Jin has Kame wrapped around his little finger.
And he hadn’t even put him under a spell.