Fic for nightinbird
Title: voci del mare
Pairing: Kame/Jin, Jin/Meisa
Word count: ~3k
Rating: R, for non explicit sexual situations and language
Warnings: Vague and messy timeline, based on canon ie Meisa, angst (I think), not enough porn
Notes: Title means "voices of the sea" in Italian (thanks, C-chan!), language chosen for no reason, it just sounds nice ;) Satsuki in here actually refers to Meisa, as it's her real name, or at least according to wiki.
For nightinbird, I took up the challenge of doing something that tackles the marriage issue, though not sure if I managed to deliver it. I hope you like it, even a little ♥
For this fic, I sort of subconsciously chose this song as its soundtrack, not sure if it helps, I just wanna link it.
Summary: He just wants to be with him, like the love song he knows they were meant to be.
*
Jin's been told that he has the voice of an angel. He doubts it, because nobody really knows what an angel would sound like. For Jin, angels would probably sound like his mother's lullaby because only something that sounds like a dream could lull him to sleep.
He takes Kame out to the seaside one day, because Kame's his best friend and Kame's cute and Jin really likes Kame. They walk around collecting seashells and Kame puts some seashells near his ears because apparently he can hear the sound of the sea from inside the seashell.
"But we are right here, next to the sea!" Jin protests. Trying to listen to the sound of the sea when they are right beside it sounds really dumb, and Jin's been told that he's dumb enough for at least three kids.
Kame hushes him, saying that it's not about listening to the sound of the sea, but selecting which one can carry the sound of the sea.
"It's about what's in the shells after we leave here," Kame says and Jin immediately goes for a seashell hunt.
He finds one that resembles a horn and he thinks that he has found something that can contain the sea in all its majesty.
"I think it sounds like heaven," Kame says happily.
They spend the night lying on the sand, Jin singing Kame to sleep and realising that he finally knows how angels would sound like.
*
Sometimes Jin hears songs inside his head, like a flow of rhythm just singing itself to the beat of his surroundings. Sometimes there are words that he can think of, sometimes there aren't. When there aren't words to the rhythm that he hears inside his head, he dances to it with his hand, feet-
"Jin, I think you should stay still," Kame says.
Well, he's right, Jin admits. After all, they're in the middle of a rehearsal.
*
Jin falls in love for the first time when he has a crush on a girl from his school. She's about half a head shorter than he is, has a really pretty smile and is really smart. She plays baseball too, and in that way, he thinks that Ayumi-chan can get along with Kame. He started liking Ayumi-chan when she bumped into him in the hallway and excused herself for not being able to dodge him. Apparently, her glasses were broken and she couldn't see clearly. After some time, he sees that she's the prettiest girl in the school and starts thinking about how to tell her that.
He wants to leave her a note telling her that he likes her; but that's too soon. He wants to buy her that cute necklace he saw while shopping with Kame; but it's too expensive. He wants to tell her face-to-face, but apparently, someone has done it before him.
Kame says that she's not very pretty when Jin whines to him.
"I'm never gonna fall in love again," he sulks. Kame only pats his back and tells him that he will get prettier girls once they debut.
*
Kame tells Jin that he sometimes goes to this pet shop near the jimusho, because he really wants a pet. He says that he sometimes spies on the toy poodles that he really loves, and other times it will be some random small terrier or sheepdog, or even a Shih Tzu or a Chihuahua. Jin finds Kame particularly fond of a husky that he silently names Ran-chan.
They make a visit to the pet shop one day and see Ran-chan being whisked away by this pretty lady. She wears high-heeled shoes and a tight dress and Kame lets out this really cute sigh, whispering about how beautiful she is. Jin makes jokes about Kame liking cougars and Kame argues defensively.
"But she's really pretty," he sulks and Jin regrets the joke.
*
Jin falls in love again, or so he says to Kame. This time, she's this girl from the cram school and he spends most of his time watching her instead of studying like he should.
"She's not even half as pretty as Ayumi," Kame evaluates.
Her name's Chihiro (Jin jumped at the name because Spirited Away just ended its run in the cinema a few months back and Jin loves Chihiro from Spirited Away), and Jin kisses her on the right cheek after their fifth date.
On their seventh date, Chihiro cries and tells him that her father doesn't like her dating, so they break up.
"I'm never gonna fall in love again," Jin complains. Kame leans against his back and stays with him.
*
Kame usually stays back after practise in the music room to sing while playing the piano, even if all he does is warm up his vocals. Kame doesn't know how to play the piano, so he randomly hits the keys and when he hits the right key with his fingers, his voice hits it right too.
Jin usually stays behind and watches, because he likes to see Kame slowly finding his voice.
*
The next time Jin feels like he's falling in love is when he kisses Kame.
Kame protests, asking him repeatedly if he's out of his mind because boys don't kiss boys and friends don't kiss friends.
"But you're not just a friend," Jin pouts. "You're my best friend."
"Still, no one kisses their best friend."
"But everyone kisses people they love," Jin insists. "And I love you."
Kame blushes, very prettily this time, and Jin wonders what kind of eyes people have if they can't see him like this.
Kame glows when he blushes, and Jin feels that if kissing him can make Kame realise how much he shines, he might actually do it more often.
*
Jin learns to write songs, though it's not like anybody's actually teaching him anything substantial. He can hit random keys on the piano and strum random notes on the guitar then someone will help polish his songs in the studio with all the electronic equipments and the sound engineering system and the whole process is kind of really cool.
He writes about feelings he wants to experience, feelings he thinks he's experiencing, feelings he thinks he has experienced. He writes about feelings because those are all he really knows.
Maybe it's what the voice of an angel truly sounds like. Full of feelings.
*
Kame doesn't seem to like being kissed, or at least he seems like he doesn't like to be kissed by Jin. It takes Jin three attempts after their first kiss (or what seemed to be a kiss; it was rather messy) to be able to convince Kame that he's not weird and that he really, really wants to kiss him.
Kame slowly pulls Jin in an awkward embrace and cups his face, clashing their foreheads together. He doesn't kiss him back that day, but they hold hands and Jin feels happy.
He snuggles with Kame and hears the sounds of the sea in the back of his mind.
*
Things happen. Things like Gokusen happen.
To Jin, Kizuna is the rhythm of their kisses.
*
Jin calls Kame and says, "I want to see you," and Kame laughs.
He asks, "why?", and Jin merely answers, "just because".
Jin sneaks inside Kame's blanket and wraps his arms around his waist.
Kame asks, "what are you doing?", and Jin's answer is "just because".
In the back of Jin's mind, Kizuna plays and Jin promises himself to make a song that will sound like the tune of the warmth they share under the blanket.
*
Jin picks up the guitar, positions it in his arms, prepares to play, and closes his eyes.
He sees Kame and the way Kame's fingers run through his hair, feels his own skin tingle at his caresses, feels himself melting when their lips touch, feels his knees going weak when their eyes meet, and hears songs in his head.
Care is not just a song. It's a soundtrack.
*
"You fall in love too easily," Kame says as he licks along Jin's jawline and Jin feels his fist digging into the bed. He lets out a moan, and Kame smirks.
"Seriously," Kame says as he fixes Jin's hands on the bed, effectively immobilising him. "You're too easy."
I think I'm only easy for you, Jin wants to say, but Kame's hands are on his hips, his chest, his crotch and his lips are exploring the ticklish areas around his neck, his stomach, his ribs and somewhere above his thigh and they feel so good. So, so good.
Kame kisses him fierce on the lips and works on his cock and Jin can't concentrate on the kiss.
"I'm going to make you come," Kame pants, "then we'll continue kissing."
Jin wants to scream when he comes, but he doesn't. Instead, he bites his lip and tastes blood.
*
He lays his head on Kame's chest, their fingers entwining.
"You're such a spoilsport," Kame chuckles, squeezing Jin's hand tight.
"What if people heard us," Jin whines, like it's the most obvious thing in the world.
Kame kisses the top of his head.
"Let them hear us," he declares.
He says it like it's worth more than a million kisses, means more than a thousand "I love you"s, and sings more than a hundred love songs, and Jin-
-he's in love.
*
Things happen. Things like Nobuta wo Produce happen.
To Jin, Seishun Amigo is the anthem of their distance.
*
Jin calls Kame and says, "I want to see you," and Kame yawns sleepily.
He hangs up. At the shooting location, in the studio, at the shooting location, in the car; Kame's never near anymore.
*
Somewhere, somehow-
-he doesn't hear them much these days.
The songs in the back of his mind.
*
Jin picks up the guitar, positions it in his arms, prepares to play, and closes his eyes.
He sees a dream crushed, a fairytale busted, and a heart frozen.
He puts his guitar down and lets it gather dust.
*
Jin goes to America to find a new fairytale and comes back to Japan with a dream.
*
Seishun Amigo slowly fades along with their distance and Jin and Kame don't sing together anymore.
They dance.
There are times when they tango, lacing all the pushes and pulls with seduction. Sometimes they pay respect to each other and do the ballroom dance, careful to avoid stepping on each other's toes. Sometimes they battle out in a street dance competition. There are no choreographies to learn, no actual steps to know, and no bass-pumping music to dance to. No rules, just them.
Alone, Kame flies across the arena, teases with his body and flirts with his clothes.
Alone, Jin stands on the stage, dancing by himself and missing a partner.
*
"You're not going to fall in love again," Kame asks as they kiss, "or are you?"
Jin's hand traces Kame's chest and he trails his fingers along his neck.
"What about you?" Jin asks. "You have always been crazy about me, haven't you?"
Kame pushes Jin to the bed and hooks his hands at the side of his waist, just barely missing the ticklish spot he knows Kame's not touching on purpose.
"You're still too easy for me," Kame says, pressing that spot on top of his hipbone and Jin groans.
Kame kisses like he wants Jin to never want him anymore, and Jin kisses Kame to tell him that Kame can't live without wanting him.
Jin comes and he screams with frustration.
*
Truth be told, Jin wants Kame.
It used to be a lot easier telling him that, even if he never actually said it.
*
They lie next to each other on the bed, staring at the ceiling.
Kame reaches for Jin's fingers and holds his pinky.
"I thought you didn't want people to hear us," he asks softly, almost like a whisper.
Jin wishes that he could smoke a cigarette right now.
"Back then, I used to care."
Kame's fingers slip away.
"We're even."
He says it like it pierces more than a million daggers, hurts more than a thousand farewells and separates them more than a hundred battles and Jin-
-he's intoxicated.
*
Jin knows that Kame wants him too.
It used to be easier seeing it in his eyes, even if it used to be more difficult to meet his eyes.
*
Jin goes back to the seaside, wondering if he can find the voice of an angel again.
He walks by the shore, from morning till dusk, and all he finds are broken shells. He tries his luck anyway, collecting those that bear any resemblance to a whole shell, but they make hollow sounds and Jin immediately throws them away.
He sees a girl by the shack where they rent out surfboards and she looks familiar.
"Satsuki?" he calls, and she turns back towards him.
*
Satsuki says that she was named after the month she was born, and she loves it.
"There are so many things in my real name and so little in my stage name," she rambles. "It makes me wonder if it's them trying to tell me to show nothing on stage."
Jin tells her that his name is not really that spectacular, only that Hitoshi is kind of really old-fashioned ("It sounds like the name of a boring old man," he says) and Jin sounds way, way cooler.
She laughs.
"I would want my daughter to be named after months of the year, you know?" Jin tells her.
"How do you know you'd definitely be getting a daughter?" she teases.
Jin stares at the sunset and thinks about the shells that could no longer contain the sound of the sea.
"I just know."
*
Jin doesn't know if he's falling in love with Satsuki, because the last time he thought he did, he lost the ability to hear songs in the back of his mind.
She kisses him gently, whispers softly beside his ear and makes love to him tenderly.
Jin loves her, but Jin doesn't know love anymore.
*
Jin goes to America again to find his dream and never really returns.
*
She's on top of him, taking him inside her, and begins moving her hips slowly. She's beautiful, with the strap of her bra slipping away from her shoulder and tresses of hair falling over her back and Jin feels blessed.
She moans slightly and he grunts as she moves, thinking about her, only her.
*
"Marry me," Jin says when they kiss as they lie naked on the bed.
*
She said yes, Jin texts.
*
Kame calls and says, "I'll come over," and Jin doesn't answer.
He comes to Jin's place anyway and asks, "don't you wanna know why?"
Jin kisses him.
*
Satsuki's theme song in Jin's head is this Okinawan lullaby his mother used to play on the CD player when he was a young boy. Satsuki talks about having children and living in Okinawa and looking for seashells.
Kame comes in and rips the lullaby apart, turning it into a battle cry.
*
"Go away," Jin pleads.
*
Truth be told, Jin still wants Kame.
*
"Just," Jin begs, "go away."
*
Kame wants Jin too. He doesn't stop kissing Jin, even after Jin pushes him away.
*
"Kame," he says.
*
The battle cry grows faint, and Jin hears a hymn.
*
"Let me go," Jin's words come out as a prayer.
He means the words to be a million years that keep him and Kame apart, a thousand miles that drive them away and a hundred walls between them and Jin-
-he's trapped, imprisoned by the love song he thought was the story between him and Kame.
*
Jin picks up the guitar, brushes the dust off the surface, positions it in his arms, prepares to play, and closes his eyes.
He sees himself standing by the seaside, staring across the ocean at the setting sun, listening to the hollow echoes of the broken shells.
*
Jin's in America living a dream but he's haunted by the ghost of his first fairy tale.
*
"You and I," he says to himself, pretending that Kame's there, willing to listen to him and nod at his every word.
He remembers the days when they sang together inside the studio, danced in front of the adoring crowd, laughed with their bandmates.
"We were meant to be a song," he whispers, voice heavy with regret.
*
Jin calls Kame and says, "I want to see you," and Kame doesn't answer.
He goes to his place anyway and immediately falls on him.
*
"Hey, Jin," Kame says. They sit on the balcony, letting the wind carry their words.
Jin clutches at Kame's shirt.
"I love you."
*
The wind chime that's hanging on top of the door, it rings and rings and rings.
*
"I love you so much," Kame continues, holding Jin's hand tight, "I don't even remember if I was ever not in love with you."
*
The electronic clock on the table strikes midnight.
*
"Kame," Jin says softly.
*
The leaves rustle with the movement of the wind.
*
"I don't know how to get over you."
*
The lady next door switches off the light with a small, barely audible 'click'.
*
Kame kisses him on the lips so tenderly that Jin feels like a teenage boy in love with his best friend all over again.
"Then don't."
*
Jin hears the sound of the sea in the back of his mind and he remembers knowing what angels sounded like.
*
"Don't get over me."
*
Jin goes back to a peacefully sleeping Satsuki and rubs her pregnant belly. He murmurs a promise tell her everything.
*
"Kame," Jin says.
"What is it?" Kame asks, planting a kiss on Jin's temple.
There are so many things Jin wants to tell him, so many songs he wants to sing, so many words he wants to say, and so many rhythms he wants to hum.
"Stay in love with me," he whispers into his ear.
He means the words to be more than a million kisses, a thousand "I love you"s, a hundred sonnets and Jin-
-he just wants to be with him, like the love song he knows they were meant to be.
*
Pairing: Kame/Jin, Jin/Meisa
Word count: ~3k
Rating: R, for non explicit sexual situations and language
Warnings: Vague and messy timeline, based on canon ie Meisa, angst (I think), not enough porn
Notes: Title means "voices of the sea" in Italian (thanks, C-chan!), language chosen for no reason, it just sounds nice ;) Satsuki in here actually refers to Meisa, as it's her real name, or at least according to wiki.
For nightinbird, I took up the challenge of doing something that tackles the marriage issue, though not sure if I managed to deliver it. I hope you like it, even a little ♥
For this fic, I sort of subconsciously chose this song as its soundtrack, not sure if it helps, I just wanna link it.
Summary: He just wants to be with him, like the love song he knows they were meant to be.
*
Jin's been told that he has the voice of an angel. He doubts it, because nobody really knows what an angel would sound like. For Jin, angels would probably sound like his mother's lullaby because only something that sounds like a dream could lull him to sleep.
He takes Kame out to the seaside one day, because Kame's his best friend and Kame's cute and Jin really likes Kame. They walk around collecting seashells and Kame puts some seashells near his ears because apparently he can hear the sound of the sea from inside the seashell.
"But we are right here, next to the sea!" Jin protests. Trying to listen to the sound of the sea when they are right beside it sounds really dumb, and Jin's been told that he's dumb enough for at least three kids.
Kame hushes him, saying that it's not about listening to the sound of the sea, but selecting which one can carry the sound of the sea.
"It's about what's in the shells after we leave here," Kame says and Jin immediately goes for a seashell hunt.
He finds one that resembles a horn and he thinks that he has found something that can contain the sea in all its majesty.
"I think it sounds like heaven," Kame says happily.
They spend the night lying on the sand, Jin singing Kame to sleep and realising that he finally knows how angels would sound like.
*
Sometimes Jin hears songs inside his head, like a flow of rhythm just singing itself to the beat of his surroundings. Sometimes there are words that he can think of, sometimes there aren't. When there aren't words to the rhythm that he hears inside his head, he dances to it with his hand, feet-
"Jin, I think you should stay still," Kame says.
Well, he's right, Jin admits. After all, they're in the middle of a rehearsal.
*
Jin falls in love for the first time when he has a crush on a girl from his school. She's about half a head shorter than he is, has a really pretty smile and is really smart. She plays baseball too, and in that way, he thinks that Ayumi-chan can get along with Kame. He started liking Ayumi-chan when she bumped into him in the hallway and excused herself for not being able to dodge him. Apparently, her glasses were broken and she couldn't see clearly. After some time, he sees that she's the prettiest girl in the school and starts thinking about how to tell her that.
He wants to leave her a note telling her that he likes her; but that's too soon. He wants to buy her that cute necklace he saw while shopping with Kame; but it's too expensive. He wants to tell her face-to-face, but apparently, someone has done it before him.
Kame says that she's not very pretty when Jin whines to him.
"I'm never gonna fall in love again," he sulks. Kame only pats his back and tells him that he will get prettier girls once they debut.
*
Kame tells Jin that he sometimes goes to this pet shop near the jimusho, because he really wants a pet. He says that he sometimes spies on the toy poodles that he really loves, and other times it will be some random small terrier or sheepdog, or even a Shih Tzu or a Chihuahua. Jin finds Kame particularly fond of a husky that he silently names Ran-chan.
They make a visit to the pet shop one day and see Ran-chan being whisked away by this pretty lady. She wears high-heeled shoes and a tight dress and Kame lets out this really cute sigh, whispering about how beautiful she is. Jin makes jokes about Kame liking cougars and Kame argues defensively.
"But she's really pretty," he sulks and Jin regrets the joke.
*
Jin falls in love again, or so he says to Kame. This time, she's this girl from the cram school and he spends most of his time watching her instead of studying like he should.
"She's not even half as pretty as Ayumi," Kame evaluates.
Her name's Chihiro (Jin jumped at the name because Spirited Away just ended its run in the cinema a few months back and Jin loves Chihiro from Spirited Away), and Jin kisses her on the right cheek after their fifth date.
On their seventh date, Chihiro cries and tells him that her father doesn't like her dating, so they break up.
"I'm never gonna fall in love again," Jin complains. Kame leans against his back and stays with him.
*
Kame usually stays back after practise in the music room to sing while playing the piano, even if all he does is warm up his vocals. Kame doesn't know how to play the piano, so he randomly hits the keys and when he hits the right key with his fingers, his voice hits it right too.
Jin usually stays behind and watches, because he likes to see Kame slowly finding his voice.
*
The next time Jin feels like he's falling in love is when he kisses Kame.
Kame protests, asking him repeatedly if he's out of his mind because boys don't kiss boys and friends don't kiss friends.
"But you're not just a friend," Jin pouts. "You're my best friend."
"Still, no one kisses their best friend."
"But everyone kisses people they love," Jin insists. "And I love you."
Kame blushes, very prettily this time, and Jin wonders what kind of eyes people have if they can't see him like this.
Kame glows when he blushes, and Jin feels that if kissing him can make Kame realise how much he shines, he might actually do it more often.
*
Jin learns to write songs, though it's not like anybody's actually teaching him anything substantial. He can hit random keys on the piano and strum random notes on the guitar then someone will help polish his songs in the studio with all the electronic equipments and the sound engineering system and the whole process is kind of really cool.
He writes about feelings he wants to experience, feelings he thinks he's experiencing, feelings he thinks he has experienced. He writes about feelings because those are all he really knows.
Maybe it's what the voice of an angel truly sounds like. Full of feelings.
*
Kame doesn't seem to like being kissed, or at least he seems like he doesn't like to be kissed by Jin. It takes Jin three attempts after their first kiss (or what seemed to be a kiss; it was rather messy) to be able to convince Kame that he's not weird and that he really, really wants to kiss him.
Kame slowly pulls Jin in an awkward embrace and cups his face, clashing their foreheads together. He doesn't kiss him back that day, but they hold hands and Jin feels happy.
He snuggles with Kame and hears the sounds of the sea in the back of his mind.
*
Things happen. Things like Gokusen happen.
To Jin, Kizuna is the rhythm of their kisses.
*
Jin calls Kame and says, "I want to see you," and Kame laughs.
He asks, "why?", and Jin merely answers, "just because".
Jin sneaks inside Kame's blanket and wraps his arms around his waist.
Kame asks, "what are you doing?", and Jin's answer is "just because".
In the back of Jin's mind, Kizuna plays and Jin promises himself to make a song that will sound like the tune of the warmth they share under the blanket.
*
Jin picks up the guitar, positions it in his arms, prepares to play, and closes his eyes.
He sees Kame and the way Kame's fingers run through his hair, feels his own skin tingle at his caresses, feels himself melting when their lips touch, feels his knees going weak when their eyes meet, and hears songs in his head.
Care is not just a song. It's a soundtrack.
*
"You fall in love too easily," Kame says as he licks along Jin's jawline and Jin feels his fist digging into the bed. He lets out a moan, and Kame smirks.
"Seriously," Kame says as he fixes Jin's hands on the bed, effectively immobilising him. "You're too easy."
I think I'm only easy for you, Jin wants to say, but Kame's hands are on his hips, his chest, his crotch and his lips are exploring the ticklish areas around his neck, his stomach, his ribs and somewhere above his thigh and they feel so good. So, so good.
Kame kisses him fierce on the lips and works on his cock and Jin can't concentrate on the kiss.
"I'm going to make you come," Kame pants, "then we'll continue kissing."
Jin wants to scream when he comes, but he doesn't. Instead, he bites his lip and tastes blood.
*
He lays his head on Kame's chest, their fingers entwining.
"You're such a spoilsport," Kame chuckles, squeezing Jin's hand tight.
"What if people heard us," Jin whines, like it's the most obvious thing in the world.
Kame kisses the top of his head.
"Let them hear us," he declares.
He says it like it's worth more than a million kisses, means more than a thousand "I love you"s, and sings more than a hundred love songs, and Jin-
-he's in love.
*
Things happen. Things like Nobuta wo Produce happen.
To Jin, Seishun Amigo is the anthem of their distance.
*
Jin calls Kame and says, "I want to see you," and Kame yawns sleepily.
He hangs up. At the shooting location, in the studio, at the shooting location, in the car; Kame's never near anymore.
*
Somewhere, somehow-
-he doesn't hear them much these days.
The songs in the back of his mind.
*
Jin picks up the guitar, positions it in his arms, prepares to play, and closes his eyes.
He sees a dream crushed, a fairytale busted, and a heart frozen.
He puts his guitar down and lets it gather dust.
*
Jin goes to America to find a new fairytale and comes back to Japan with a dream.
*
Seishun Amigo slowly fades along with their distance and Jin and Kame don't sing together anymore.
They dance.
There are times when they tango, lacing all the pushes and pulls with seduction. Sometimes they pay respect to each other and do the ballroom dance, careful to avoid stepping on each other's toes. Sometimes they battle out in a street dance competition. There are no choreographies to learn, no actual steps to know, and no bass-pumping music to dance to. No rules, just them.
Alone, Kame flies across the arena, teases with his body and flirts with his clothes.
Alone, Jin stands on the stage, dancing by himself and missing a partner.
*
"You're not going to fall in love again," Kame asks as they kiss, "or are you?"
Jin's hand traces Kame's chest and he trails his fingers along his neck.
"What about you?" Jin asks. "You have always been crazy about me, haven't you?"
Kame pushes Jin to the bed and hooks his hands at the side of his waist, just barely missing the ticklish spot he knows Kame's not touching on purpose.
"You're still too easy for me," Kame says, pressing that spot on top of his hipbone and Jin groans.
Kame kisses like he wants Jin to never want him anymore, and Jin kisses Kame to tell him that Kame can't live without wanting him.
Jin comes and he screams with frustration.
*
Truth be told, Jin wants Kame.
It used to be a lot easier telling him that, even if he never actually said it.
*
They lie next to each other on the bed, staring at the ceiling.
Kame reaches for Jin's fingers and holds his pinky.
"I thought you didn't want people to hear us," he asks softly, almost like a whisper.
Jin wishes that he could smoke a cigarette right now.
"Back then, I used to care."
Kame's fingers slip away.
"We're even."
He says it like it pierces more than a million daggers, hurts more than a thousand farewells and separates them more than a hundred battles and Jin-
-he's intoxicated.
*
Jin knows that Kame wants him too.
It used to be easier seeing it in his eyes, even if it used to be more difficult to meet his eyes.
*
Jin goes back to the seaside, wondering if he can find the voice of an angel again.
He walks by the shore, from morning till dusk, and all he finds are broken shells. He tries his luck anyway, collecting those that bear any resemblance to a whole shell, but they make hollow sounds and Jin immediately throws them away.
He sees a girl by the shack where they rent out surfboards and she looks familiar.
"Satsuki?" he calls, and she turns back towards him.
*
Satsuki says that she was named after the month she was born, and she loves it.
"There are so many things in my real name and so little in my stage name," she rambles. "It makes me wonder if it's them trying to tell me to show nothing on stage."
Jin tells her that his name is not really that spectacular, only that Hitoshi is kind of really old-fashioned ("It sounds like the name of a boring old man," he says) and Jin sounds way, way cooler.
She laughs.
"I would want my daughter to be named after months of the year, you know?" Jin tells her.
"How do you know you'd definitely be getting a daughter?" she teases.
Jin stares at the sunset and thinks about the shells that could no longer contain the sound of the sea.
"I just know."
*
Jin doesn't know if he's falling in love with Satsuki, because the last time he thought he did, he lost the ability to hear songs in the back of his mind.
She kisses him gently, whispers softly beside his ear and makes love to him tenderly.
Jin loves her, but Jin doesn't know love anymore.
*
Jin goes to America again to find his dream and never really returns.
*
She's on top of him, taking him inside her, and begins moving her hips slowly. She's beautiful, with the strap of her bra slipping away from her shoulder and tresses of hair falling over her back and Jin feels blessed.
She moans slightly and he grunts as she moves, thinking about her, only her.
*
"Marry me," Jin says when they kiss as they lie naked on the bed.
*
She said yes, Jin texts.
*
Kame calls and says, "I'll come over," and Jin doesn't answer.
He comes to Jin's place anyway and asks, "don't you wanna know why?"
Jin kisses him.
*
Satsuki's theme song in Jin's head is this Okinawan lullaby his mother used to play on the CD player when he was a young boy. Satsuki talks about having children and living in Okinawa and looking for seashells.
Kame comes in and rips the lullaby apart, turning it into a battle cry.
*
"Go away," Jin pleads.
*
Truth be told, Jin still wants Kame.
*
"Just," Jin begs, "go away."
*
Kame wants Jin too. He doesn't stop kissing Jin, even after Jin pushes him away.
*
"Kame," he says.
*
The battle cry grows faint, and Jin hears a hymn.
*
"Let me go," Jin's words come out as a prayer.
He means the words to be a million years that keep him and Kame apart, a thousand miles that drive them away and a hundred walls between them and Jin-
-he's trapped, imprisoned by the love song he thought was the story between him and Kame.
*
Jin picks up the guitar, brushes the dust off the surface, positions it in his arms, prepares to play, and closes his eyes.
He sees himself standing by the seaside, staring across the ocean at the setting sun, listening to the hollow echoes of the broken shells.
*
Jin's in America living a dream but he's haunted by the ghost of his first fairy tale.
*
"You and I," he says to himself, pretending that Kame's there, willing to listen to him and nod at his every word.
He remembers the days when they sang together inside the studio, danced in front of the adoring crowd, laughed with their bandmates.
"We were meant to be a song," he whispers, voice heavy with regret.
*
Jin calls Kame and says, "I want to see you," and Kame doesn't answer.
He goes to his place anyway and immediately falls on him.
*
"Hey, Jin," Kame says. They sit on the balcony, letting the wind carry their words.
Jin clutches at Kame's shirt.
"I love you."
*
The wind chime that's hanging on top of the door, it rings and rings and rings.
*
"I love you so much," Kame continues, holding Jin's hand tight, "I don't even remember if I was ever not in love with you."
*
The electronic clock on the table strikes midnight.
*
"Kame," Jin says softly.
*
The leaves rustle with the movement of the wind.
*
"I don't know how to get over you."
*
The lady next door switches off the light with a small, barely audible 'click'.
*
Kame kisses him on the lips so tenderly that Jin feels like a teenage boy in love with his best friend all over again.
"Then don't."
*
Jin hears the sound of the sea in the back of his mind and he remembers knowing what angels sounded like.
*
"Don't get over me."
*
Jin goes back to a peacefully sleeping Satsuki and rubs her pregnant belly. He murmurs a promise tell her everything.
*
"Kame," Jin says.
"What is it?" Kame asks, planting a kiss on Jin's temple.
There are so many things Jin wants to tell him, so many songs he wants to sing, so many words he wants to say, and so many rhythms he wants to hum.
"Stay in love with me," he whispers into his ear.
He means the words to be more than a million kisses, a thousand "I love you"s, a hundred sonnets and Jin-
-he just wants to be with him, like the love song he knows they were meant to be.
*