Fic for hilaryscribbles
Title: Love thy neighbour
By: ayuzak
Pairing: Akame
Rating: PG 13
Genre/Warnings: AU, Angst(ish), Slice of life
Notes: For hilaryscribbles. No cryng, don't worry, no pron either D: There's no real plot and it's very Kame centric. If you hate it, be glad that at least it's short? Hope you like it though. Thank you beta-san and all those who heard me whine and whine some more. This cannot be done without your help .
Summary: Kamenashi Kazuya is a single man living alone in Tokyo with no social life. Akanishi Jin is his new neighbour who changes everything and nothing.
The first thing he saw of Akanishi Jin was his jean clad butt going up the stairs ahead of him. The first thing he heard out of Akanishi Jin was murmured curses at the stairs. Akanishi was carrying what appeared to be a large battered cardboard box, huffing at every step he took. Kame observed in slight amusement as he practically collapsed at the landing in exhaustion. His figure slumped over the box in utter defeat.
"You need a hand?" Kame finally offered, trying hard to suppress his smile.
Akanishi turned, relief sweeping over his face.
"Oh thank God, you're a life saver!"
"No problem," Kame returned the grateful smile. He remembered thinking he had never seen such a child-like smile on a grown man before. His insides were churning, not sure exactly what it meant.
When Akanishi had recovered, they both bent over the misshapen box and heaved it up.
After getting a better view of him, Kame couldn't help but admire and be a little envious of his beautiful features. Bright eyes, strong cheekbones and the sexiest pair of lips he'd ever seen. The unruly brown curls somehow added to his charm. His taut but not overly worked physique had also caught Kame's attention. It was hard to miss when the white v-necked shirt he was wearing was damp from his sweat and clinging to his form as they slowly made their way up step by step.
"You keep dumbbells or something in there?" Kame asked as he strained to keep himself balanced on the steps.
"No, it's just some stuff from my old place." Akanishi winced as the box seemed to get heavier with every second.
"Oh, so you're new here?" Kame asked.
"Yup, I'm moving into apartment 5-20."
Kame paused in mid step.
"5-20? That's next to my unit."
"Oh great, I guess we're neighbours then!"
"Yeah, great," Kame agreed half-heartedly, feeling apprehensive at the turn of events. Sure it was fun to meet an attractive stranger now and then, but having one as a neighbour was an entirely different story. Kame had had his fair share of bad luck with attractive men and he had long given up figuring out what it was about him that drove them away.
"I'm Kamenashi by the way, nice to meet you," he introduced himself formally, defences already up.
"I'm Akanishi, but YOU my helpful neighbour and saviour can call me Jin," he added triumphantly.
Kame didn't know how but he ended up helping Akanishi with the rest of his equally crumpled and heavy boxes up to the 5th floor from the ground floor lobby. He congratulated himself for wasting his precious weekend afternoon with a near stranger, but he had had worse days before.
-------
The door bell rang for the third time that night.
"Yes Akanishi, what can I do for you?" Kame asked, keeping his exasperated tone down. It wasn't that Kame didn't like his new neighbour, it was just that Akanishi had been calling on him a lot for the past few days and it was keeping him on edge for some reason. It was rare for Kame to get a chance to relax from his long hours at the publishing company and he didn't appreciate interruptions like these.
"Sorry to bother you again, but can I borrow your iron? I kind of have this huge meeting tomorrow morning and my shirts are all crumpled from the laundrette, you know how it is," he smiled sheepishly.
'Oh and an ironing board too and maybe a tie..."
Kame let out a long sigh.
"Why don't you bring your shirts over and see what else you need?"
"Great! I'll bring along some beer as repayment. You, Kame," Akanishi said, pointing at him before he bounced off to his apartment, "are truly a life saver."
Kame had to wonder what were all those things Akanishi had brought over from his old apartment, as none of it seemed to include necessary everyday items like a kettle, iron, cutlery, detergent and countless others as he would find out in the next few days.
Akanishi returned with his laundry basket and a couple of beer bottles balanced precariously on top.
"So what's this important meeting about?" Kame asked as he pulled out his ironing board from a side closet.
"I'm just meeting some music producers, I write music!" Akanishi announced proudly.
"Oh wow, that sounds like an exciting job."
"Yeah, it is. I like to think of myself as an ally of music, liberating the notes from..."
He was interrupted by snort followed by bout of laughter on Kame's part. Kame was bent over clapping and stomping his feet. A minute later he was kneeling on the floor by the ironing board, still trying to compose himself.
"I'm sorry," Kame looked up still chuckling, "I didn't mean to be rude."
"Yeah, I'm sure", Akanishi started pressing one of his white shirts in silence. Kame had never heard a word about Akanishi's job after that, no matter how much he prodded.
------
Kame was just returning home from work in the evening when he bumped into Akanishi at the stairwell yet again, his hands full this time with bags of snacks and various other food items.
"Are you having a party or something?" Kame asked to get his attention.
"Oh good, your timing is impeccable," Akanishi exclaimed in relief, as he dumped half of his bags into Kame's unwilling arms.
"And no, I'm not having a party, I need all these for myself."
Kame had gotten used to Akanishi's ability to disrupt his otherwise peaceful daily routine.
"Have you had your dinner yet?" Akanishi asked, rummaging around in his shopping bags for his keys as they reached their floor.
"No, but I bought food." Kame held up his packed bento from 7/11 in reply.
"Oh, okay."
"I'll see you around then."
"Yeah," Jin nodded.
They entered their respective apartments. Kame went on to take a cold shower, hoping the water would wash away his fatigue too. Towelling his hair, dressed in a loose t-shirt and boxer shorts he went for a cigarette instead of his lonely dinner. He stepped out into the balcony from his kitchen only to see a huddled form in the adjacent balcony.
Said form was happily tucking into his bowl of char siew ramen, sitting cross legged at the cramped balcony space.
"What are you doing out here?" Kame asked
Akanishi looked up, puzzled with his mouth full of noodles.
"Um munee van," He swallowed. "Can't you see?"
"What?" Kame was sure that wasn't Japanese or any form of intelligiblee language for that matter.
"I'm eating RAMEN," Akanishi replied with emphasis
"Yes, I can see that but WHY here?"
"It's nice out here. The city lights and all. It's better than tv you know. You should try it out. You can pretend to be god watching over everyone".
Kame raised his eyebrow, unconvinced.
"Oh just try it, bring out your food and just sit anywhere, we don't need chairs and tables," Akanishi insisted.
Still hesitant, Kame put out his cigarette at the handrail and grabbed his bento dinner. Maybe the view of Tokyo night lights would improve its taste as Akanishi said.
He planted himself down right next to Akanishi, separated only by the steel blade railing. The stillness of the night, the occasional slurping and the warm summer breeze with the slow hum of the city traffic did manage to ease his weariness away. He didn't want to admit that Akanishi's ridiculous idea had actually worked. He had never given much notice to the view before. He was usually lost in his thoughts, muddled by the nicotine and alcohol when at the balcony. He finished his bento and found it tolerable, even pleasant except for the disgusting yellow radish pickles. Even the view over Paris or New York could not improve their taste in Kame's opinion.
"You're not finishing that?" Akanishi asked, indicating at the pickles Kame had left aside.
"No, you want it?" Kame thrust his bento box at Akanishi.
Akanishi slipped his hand through the narrow gap in the railing to get hold of the pickles.
"I love this stuff, you should totally try it with chili oil."
Kame stared at him, aghast. He couldn't imagine a worse combination of food.
"Yeah yeah, I know, I have weird taste."
"Well, glad you're aware of that. Hey, you want some beer to wash the awful taste down?" Kame asked as he stood up and stretched his arms.
Akanishi frowned. "They don't taste awful! But I wouldn't mind some beer," he added looking up at Kame and flashing his silly smile.
Kame retreated into his kitchen and looked around his fridge to return with two bottles of Asahi.
Side by side, they drank the night away, savouring the company and the solitude.
------
It had been four consecutive nights of overtime this week for Kame. There were still piles of articles waiting for his approval on his desk, but he was in no condition to look at them. No wonder his friends teased him about being married to his work. He couldn't even remember when was the last time he'd met up with his college friends.
He reached home at 2 am, hungry but too tired to care. At first he thought he was hallucinating when he heard a faint melody. He stood still, possessed in the moment, eyes closed embracing every note. Wondering at the source he remembered that Akanishi mentioned something about writing music of some sort.
He walked towards the wall dividing his and Akanishi's flat, concentrating hard on the music filtering through the drab, imposing concrete wall. He felt its cold surface while tracing the hairline cracks on the paint, trying to detect the underlying vibrations transporting the soothing musical notes. A barely audible voice soon followed the melody, humming along.
Kame slid down to the floor and pressed his ears against the wall, listening as he drifted off to sleep with a smile on his face. It had been a while since he'd slept that peacefully.
-------
"Hey," Akanishi greeted him at their usual rendezvous. Their drinking sessions at the balcony had become a nightly routine.
Kame glanced over and just sighed in response.
"What is it?" Akanishi prodded.
"It's nothing." Kame was intent on being antisocial. That night, he just wanted to be alone.
He took a long drag at his cigarette. He enjoyed blowing the smoke out in front of his eyes, temporarily clouding the view of Tokyo spread out below him and watching it dispersed into the night. He found it therapeutic.
"Let me tell you something then," Akanishi said leaning against the railing. "Do you know that there is potentially one serial killer in every 10 persons you meet?"
Kame looked at him, brows furrowed and sufficiently distracted.
"Are you trying to tell me you're a serial killer?"
"Aaaand did you know that whenever you eat a tasty maguro, there are 5 baby dolphins that were sacrificed?" he continued, ignoring Kame
"How is this relevant?" Kame snapped.
"It's relevant the next time you pick up a maguro sushi. Besides, dolphins are really cute creatures. I saw them when I was 5 at seaworld and I wanted to jump into the pool and play with them, and then there was this huuuge..."
Akanishi went on to recount his random childhood memories at Disneyland, camping in the woods, trips to the zoo and so on.
Kame gave up trying to interject. Instead he stood there smiling without realising it. He couldn't even remember what he had been upset about before. His mother had called earlier, but it didn't matter anymore. All he wanted to do at that moment was to find out how 9 year old Akanishi Jin went to the zoo and nearly got mauled by a bear.
-------
It had been a month since Akanishi Jin had moved in next door. Within the short span of time, they'd formed an unspoken bond; this casual yet intimate relationship. Kame didn't realise when it started but his daily routine seemed to involve Akanishi Jin a lot these days. Every night without fail, he would expect the familiar voice calling out to him from the balcony, be it an invitation for a smoke, a beer or just enjoying the stale Tokyo air. Sometimes Kame surprised himself when he ended up standing at the balcony waiting for Jin. He was not disappointed when Jin didn't turn up. He was aware that other people had a social life. People kept telling him that he needed to meet more people. Women in particular. How could he tell those expectant eyes that he was just not interested? The last thing he wanted to do was break his mother's heart, who had been hinting for grandchildren since he was 20.
He thought to himself, Akanishi's probably at a friend's place or a club. He felt silly at times like these when he was alone at the balcony making up conversations in his head in Jin's absence. He had always pretended not to pay attention to Akanishi's mindless chatter, but he actually found it endearing. Akanishi would talk to him about anything under the sun without holding back. Kame had heard the most embarrassing stories and some heart-wrenching ones too. Break ups, betrayal, jubilation, he'd heard them all right there at the balcony. He knew he should have kept his distance since day one, he tried but it was difficult when Akanishi was constantly messing up his life.
Kame went back into his kitchen to grab a cold beer. He peered inside his relatively empty fridge in dismay, and Akanishi was not around to spare him some. He contemplated just going to bed and forgetting about the beer. He put on his jacket anyway, and headed out to the nearest convenience store. He picked up some dried pickled mango as well. He would have stayed ten feet away from those just a few months ago, but Akanishi could be quite persuasive and persistent. Kame figured why not, and bought two packets of the affronting snacks. He had to admit they went very well with beer.
The walk did him good. It helped to clear his mind and now he was looking forward to enjoying his beer. He might have even skipped a few steps on the way up to his apartment. He was stopped abruptly metres away from his door by an unfamiliar sight. He stared unblinking as he watched Akanishi Jin giggling with what appeared to be his girlfriend.
"Hey, do you know him?" the girl clinging onto Akanishi's arm asked as she eyed Kame deliberately.
Akanishi looked up but didn't quite meet Kame's eyes and just nodded ever so slightly. Awkward silence hung in the still air until Kame managed to gather his wits.
He muttered a quick greeting before heading for his refuge as quickly as possible, keeping his head bowed. His heart was pounding in his chest, threatening to burst out in -- rage? jealousy? -- or was it just fear?
He contemplated booking himself a hotel room for the night. But no, Kamenashi Kazuya would not run away. He needed to prove to himself that the earlier incident had only shocked him a little; it had no bearing other than that.
He headed for his kitchen, threw his shopping bags on the counter and went straight for the wine cabinet. He popped open a Leafier Rothschild he had been saving for a special occasion. This occasion certainly called for it. He poured the crimson liquid into a wineglass, struggling to keep his hand steady, only to gulp down its contents in one go. The warmth spread from his insides and radiated outwards to his nether regions. He drank another glass and welcomed the slight drowsy feeling it awarded him. He decided that it was time to turn in for the night. Maybe tomorrow he would forget all this.
He lay on his bed reprimanding himself for behaving like a child. He tried to steer his thoughts clear away from what he was feeling. He had no right to feel anything about Akanishi's social life. He had heard about the girl before, only he didn't pay much attention whenever Akanishi mentioned her. Meeting her made it all too real and it was torturing Kame inside. He willed his thoughts away from his neighbour but it was getting increasingly difficult as traces of giggles and whispers from beyond the wall disrupted his solitude. He turned on the stereo, hoping to mask the sounds.
A ballad and a rock number after, he could still hear them from next door. When did the walls become this thin, he cursed. He turned his stereo louder but it didn't seem to help. It was as if he had developed this heightened sense of hearing -- no, not just hearing, perception to be exact. His mind kept wandering back. Images of the proceedings next door played out in his mind clearer than what he saw in front of his eyes. Two bodies entwined in the heat of passion. A moan and a sharp gasp; he couldn't tell if it was female or male.
Instinctively his hands reached for the bulge in his pants. He grabbed the stereo remote control, but instead of turning the music louder, he turned it off. Now enveloped in the crisp silence, punctured occasionally by the sounds generated by the lascivious activities just metres away, he let go of his mind and let it roam to whatever dark corners it wished, because fuck it if he had to be self conscious even in his own bedroom. Mind and body in full attention, he felt every pant, every dirty whisper, the rustling of the sheets and the creak of bedsprings, even the smell of sweat and lust.
He slipped off his pants just enough to free his cock and reached into the bedside drawer eagerly for the tube of lube. He spread a generous amount across his palms and gently stroked himself, slow and intent. He worked himself to match the rhythmic moans from beyond the wall, real or imagined; he couldn't tell anymore. With the thought of him in sync, in synergy with Akanishi, Kame came unrestrained. Pain and pleasure all rolled into one. He would feel pathetic in the morning, but that very second he was content and there was no room in his head for any other thoughts.
------
Kame loathed himself. He couldn't even bear to look himself in the mirror much less at Akanishi. The only solution he could come up with, as juvenile as it was, was to avoid him at all cost. He stayed out late and left for work early. He no longer set foot on his balcony, the door locked at all times. He had shut himself in. He employed himself in pointless activities like boxing and cooking classes to fill the void, putting in his best efforts but the nagging feeling remained.
Every day he missed Akanishi's company, his smile and his chatter. The music he made haunted Kame instead of comforting him, it sounded a little too sad recently. A part of him resented that Akanishi did not seem in any way concerned with the sudden lack of contact with his neighbour. Kame felt stupid. Of course Akanishi would not notice.
After another exhausting day at work, Kame was practically dragging his feet back to his flat. He was surprised he made it all the way up without collapsing. The corridor had seemed to offer him many surprises recently, always in the form of Akanishi Jin. Kame froze on the spot a few feet away from his door. It seemed he had no choice anyway, as the figure of Akanishi was slumped right in front of his door, fast asleep apparently. Kame took a while to admire his lithe form, looking vulnerable and sad. He swore Akanishi had lost a few pounds.
Kame squatted down next to him and tapped on his shoulder.
"Oi!" He shook him a little harder.
"Wha...what?" Akanishi was shaken out of his deep sleep, disoriented and confused, rubbing his eyes.
"May I know why you are camping outside my door?" Kame asked, surprised at the ease at which he slipped into their old familiar banter. He immediately stood up and took a step back, remembering his resolve to stay away from Akanishi.
Akanishi got up too, brushing off the dust clinging to his pants.
"Well, I would like to know why you've been avoiding me for the last couple of weeks?" Kame couldn't make out the expression on Akanishi's face. Absurdly he thought Akanishi looked a little guilty and apologetic.
"I'm not avoiding you, work just got a lot busier. As you can see I'm really tired," he added sounding thoroughly convincing.
Crestfallen, Akanishi refused to budge. With dark circles under his eyes, he looked almost as tired as Kame.
"Look, you and I ...I 've been thinking..."
Kame stopped him before he could continue. Kame knew this could not go on further. His past experiences had taught him that nothing good could come out of it. There were boundaries that had to be maintained. Boundaries that protected. He gripped Akanishi's shoulders with both hands, staring straight into his eyes hoping to convey what couldn't be said.
"Look, I'm alright, okay. We're alright."
The words left Kame's lips before he could stop them. He feared he was going to regret this and he silently cursed himself for being so weak. He should have just shut up, gone into his apartment and let Akanishi hate him.
Akanishi still looked unconvinced.
"We'll talk tomorrow, okay. I'm really half dead here," Kame tried again, almost pleading.
The first sign of smile adorned Akanishi's face and it was mirrored on Kame's face.
--------
The next day began as if the last two weeks of anguish had not happened. Kame greeted Akanishi naturally in the morning before he headed off to work. Both were glad that the other did not choose to pursue the subject from the previous night any further. They soon fell back into their comfortable familiarity, their nightly drinking sessions renewed.
"How's work?" Akanishi asked.
"It was okay," Kame replied casually.
"How about you? How's the music thing coming along?"
"It's coming along".
"What, are you still mad cause I laughed at you that one time?" Kame asked amused.
"I don't know what you're talking about," came the reply from Akanishi who was intent on staring straight ahead.
"Hey I've heard some of it, it's actually pretty good," Kame tried again.
"What do you mean actually?" Akanishi snapped his head to his right to glare at Kame.
"Oh cmon, it's no Mozart," Kame laughed easily.
"Yeah I didn't hear you humming to Mozart," Akanishi muttered grudgingly.
Kame red from embarrassment, was fiddling around with his shirt button and struggling to come up with an appropriate response but finding none. They sat there in the comfortable silence relishing the peace it offered, minutes and hours passing by without their notice..
"Kame..."
"Hn?"
"Why do you insist on calling me Akanishi?"
The question hung in the air waiting for an answer. Kame looked over at Akanishi, so near and yet unreachable. He let out a long sigh.
"Well Akanishi, because we're just neighbours," he smiled knowing that beneath the facade of aloofness lay a deeper bond, pure and untouched. He had promised himself that he would never let anything harm it.
"Ah, I guess we are, Kamenashi," Akanishi grinned in return.
Smoking their cigarettes, a beer in hand, dried fruit snacks passed back and forth like their very own secret messages.They sat there side by side, separated only by the thin steel blades of their balconies. They looked out at Tokyo rolled out as far as the eye can see, their domain, their world, like Gods watching over their creation. There was no other place they'd rather be.
By: ayuzak
Pairing: Akame
Rating: PG 13
Genre/Warnings: AU, Angst(ish), Slice of life
Notes: For hilaryscribbles. No cryng, don't worry, no pron either D: There's no real plot and it's very Kame centric. If you hate it, be glad that at least it's short? Hope you like it though. Thank you beta-san and all those who heard me whine and whine some more. This cannot be done without your help .
Summary: Kamenashi Kazuya is a single man living alone in Tokyo with no social life. Akanishi Jin is his new neighbour who changes everything and nothing.
The first thing he saw of Akanishi Jin was his jean clad butt going up the stairs ahead of him. The first thing he heard out of Akanishi Jin was murmured curses at the stairs. Akanishi was carrying what appeared to be a large battered cardboard box, huffing at every step he took. Kame observed in slight amusement as he practically collapsed at the landing in exhaustion. His figure slumped over the box in utter defeat.
"You need a hand?" Kame finally offered, trying hard to suppress his smile.
Akanishi turned, relief sweeping over his face.
"Oh thank God, you're a life saver!"
"No problem," Kame returned the grateful smile. He remembered thinking he had never seen such a child-like smile on a grown man before. His insides were churning, not sure exactly what it meant.
When Akanishi had recovered, they both bent over the misshapen box and heaved it up.
After getting a better view of him, Kame couldn't help but admire and be a little envious of his beautiful features. Bright eyes, strong cheekbones and the sexiest pair of lips he'd ever seen. The unruly brown curls somehow added to his charm. His taut but not overly worked physique had also caught Kame's attention. It was hard to miss when the white v-necked shirt he was wearing was damp from his sweat and clinging to his form as they slowly made their way up step by step.
"You keep dumbbells or something in there?" Kame asked as he strained to keep himself balanced on the steps.
"No, it's just some stuff from my old place." Akanishi winced as the box seemed to get heavier with every second.
"Oh, so you're new here?" Kame asked.
"Yup, I'm moving into apartment 5-20."
Kame paused in mid step.
"5-20? That's next to my unit."
"Oh great, I guess we're neighbours then!"
"Yeah, great," Kame agreed half-heartedly, feeling apprehensive at the turn of events. Sure it was fun to meet an attractive stranger now and then, but having one as a neighbour was an entirely different story. Kame had had his fair share of bad luck with attractive men and he had long given up figuring out what it was about him that drove them away.
"I'm Kamenashi by the way, nice to meet you," he introduced himself formally, defences already up.
"I'm Akanishi, but YOU my helpful neighbour and saviour can call me Jin," he added triumphantly.
Kame didn't know how but he ended up helping Akanishi with the rest of his equally crumpled and heavy boxes up to the 5th floor from the ground floor lobby. He congratulated himself for wasting his precious weekend afternoon with a near stranger, but he had had worse days before.
-------
The door bell rang for the third time that night.
"Yes Akanishi, what can I do for you?" Kame asked, keeping his exasperated tone down. It wasn't that Kame didn't like his new neighbour, it was just that Akanishi had been calling on him a lot for the past few days and it was keeping him on edge for some reason. It was rare for Kame to get a chance to relax from his long hours at the publishing company and he didn't appreciate interruptions like these.
"Sorry to bother you again, but can I borrow your iron? I kind of have this huge meeting tomorrow morning and my shirts are all crumpled from the laundrette, you know how it is," he smiled sheepishly.
'Oh and an ironing board too and maybe a tie..."
Kame let out a long sigh.
"Why don't you bring your shirts over and see what else you need?"
"Great! I'll bring along some beer as repayment. You, Kame," Akanishi said, pointing at him before he bounced off to his apartment, "are truly a life saver."
Kame had to wonder what were all those things Akanishi had brought over from his old apartment, as none of it seemed to include necessary everyday items like a kettle, iron, cutlery, detergent and countless others as he would find out in the next few days.
Akanishi returned with his laundry basket and a couple of beer bottles balanced precariously on top.
"So what's this important meeting about?" Kame asked as he pulled out his ironing board from a side closet.
"I'm just meeting some music producers, I write music!" Akanishi announced proudly.
"Oh wow, that sounds like an exciting job."
"Yeah, it is. I like to think of myself as an ally of music, liberating the notes from..."
He was interrupted by snort followed by bout of laughter on Kame's part. Kame was bent over clapping and stomping his feet. A minute later he was kneeling on the floor by the ironing board, still trying to compose himself.
"I'm sorry," Kame looked up still chuckling, "I didn't mean to be rude."
"Yeah, I'm sure", Akanishi started pressing one of his white shirts in silence. Kame had never heard a word about Akanishi's job after that, no matter how much he prodded.
------
Kame was just returning home from work in the evening when he bumped into Akanishi at the stairwell yet again, his hands full this time with bags of snacks and various other food items.
"Are you having a party or something?" Kame asked to get his attention.
"Oh good, your timing is impeccable," Akanishi exclaimed in relief, as he dumped half of his bags into Kame's unwilling arms.
"And no, I'm not having a party, I need all these for myself."
Kame had gotten used to Akanishi's ability to disrupt his otherwise peaceful daily routine.
"Have you had your dinner yet?" Akanishi asked, rummaging around in his shopping bags for his keys as they reached their floor.
"No, but I bought food." Kame held up his packed bento from 7/11 in reply.
"Oh, okay."
"I'll see you around then."
"Yeah," Jin nodded.
They entered their respective apartments. Kame went on to take a cold shower, hoping the water would wash away his fatigue too. Towelling his hair, dressed in a loose t-shirt and boxer shorts he went for a cigarette instead of his lonely dinner. He stepped out into the balcony from his kitchen only to see a huddled form in the adjacent balcony.
Said form was happily tucking into his bowl of char siew ramen, sitting cross legged at the cramped balcony space.
"What are you doing out here?" Kame asked
Akanishi looked up, puzzled with his mouth full of noodles.
"Um munee van," He swallowed. "Can't you see?"
"What?" Kame was sure that wasn't Japanese or any form of intelligiblee language for that matter.
"I'm eating RAMEN," Akanishi replied with emphasis
"Yes, I can see that but WHY here?"
"It's nice out here. The city lights and all. It's better than tv you know. You should try it out. You can pretend to be god watching over everyone".
Kame raised his eyebrow, unconvinced.
"Oh just try it, bring out your food and just sit anywhere, we don't need chairs and tables," Akanishi insisted.
Still hesitant, Kame put out his cigarette at the handrail and grabbed his bento dinner. Maybe the view of Tokyo night lights would improve its taste as Akanishi said.
He planted himself down right next to Akanishi, separated only by the steel blade railing. The stillness of the night, the occasional slurping and the warm summer breeze with the slow hum of the city traffic did manage to ease his weariness away. He didn't want to admit that Akanishi's ridiculous idea had actually worked. He had never given much notice to the view before. He was usually lost in his thoughts, muddled by the nicotine and alcohol when at the balcony. He finished his bento and found it tolerable, even pleasant except for the disgusting yellow radish pickles. Even the view over Paris or New York could not improve their taste in Kame's opinion.
"You're not finishing that?" Akanishi asked, indicating at the pickles Kame had left aside.
"No, you want it?" Kame thrust his bento box at Akanishi.
Akanishi slipped his hand through the narrow gap in the railing to get hold of the pickles.
"I love this stuff, you should totally try it with chili oil."
Kame stared at him, aghast. He couldn't imagine a worse combination of food.
"Yeah yeah, I know, I have weird taste."
"Well, glad you're aware of that. Hey, you want some beer to wash the awful taste down?" Kame asked as he stood up and stretched his arms.
Akanishi frowned. "They don't taste awful! But I wouldn't mind some beer," he added looking up at Kame and flashing his silly smile.
Kame retreated into his kitchen and looked around his fridge to return with two bottles of Asahi.
Side by side, they drank the night away, savouring the company and the solitude.
------
It had been four consecutive nights of overtime this week for Kame. There were still piles of articles waiting for his approval on his desk, but he was in no condition to look at them. No wonder his friends teased him about being married to his work. He couldn't even remember when was the last time he'd met up with his college friends.
He reached home at 2 am, hungry but too tired to care. At first he thought he was hallucinating when he heard a faint melody. He stood still, possessed in the moment, eyes closed embracing every note. Wondering at the source he remembered that Akanishi mentioned something about writing music of some sort.
He walked towards the wall dividing his and Akanishi's flat, concentrating hard on the music filtering through the drab, imposing concrete wall. He felt its cold surface while tracing the hairline cracks on the paint, trying to detect the underlying vibrations transporting the soothing musical notes. A barely audible voice soon followed the melody, humming along.
Kame slid down to the floor and pressed his ears against the wall, listening as he drifted off to sleep with a smile on his face. It had been a while since he'd slept that peacefully.
-------
"Hey," Akanishi greeted him at their usual rendezvous. Their drinking sessions at the balcony had become a nightly routine.
Kame glanced over and just sighed in response.
"What is it?" Akanishi prodded.
"It's nothing." Kame was intent on being antisocial. That night, he just wanted to be alone.
He took a long drag at his cigarette. He enjoyed blowing the smoke out in front of his eyes, temporarily clouding the view of Tokyo spread out below him and watching it dispersed into the night. He found it therapeutic.
"Let me tell you something then," Akanishi said leaning against the railing. "Do you know that there is potentially one serial killer in every 10 persons you meet?"
Kame looked at him, brows furrowed and sufficiently distracted.
"Are you trying to tell me you're a serial killer?"
"Aaaand did you know that whenever you eat a tasty maguro, there are 5 baby dolphins that were sacrificed?" he continued, ignoring Kame
"How is this relevant?" Kame snapped.
"It's relevant the next time you pick up a maguro sushi. Besides, dolphins are really cute creatures. I saw them when I was 5 at seaworld and I wanted to jump into the pool and play with them, and then there was this huuuge..."
Akanishi went on to recount his random childhood memories at Disneyland, camping in the woods, trips to the zoo and so on.
Kame gave up trying to interject. Instead he stood there smiling without realising it. He couldn't even remember what he had been upset about before. His mother had called earlier, but it didn't matter anymore. All he wanted to do at that moment was to find out how 9 year old Akanishi Jin went to the zoo and nearly got mauled by a bear.
-------
It had been a month since Akanishi Jin had moved in next door. Within the short span of time, they'd formed an unspoken bond; this casual yet intimate relationship. Kame didn't realise when it started but his daily routine seemed to involve Akanishi Jin a lot these days. Every night without fail, he would expect the familiar voice calling out to him from the balcony, be it an invitation for a smoke, a beer or just enjoying the stale Tokyo air. Sometimes Kame surprised himself when he ended up standing at the balcony waiting for Jin. He was not disappointed when Jin didn't turn up. He was aware that other people had a social life. People kept telling him that he needed to meet more people. Women in particular. How could he tell those expectant eyes that he was just not interested? The last thing he wanted to do was break his mother's heart, who had been hinting for grandchildren since he was 20.
He thought to himself, Akanishi's probably at a friend's place or a club. He felt silly at times like these when he was alone at the balcony making up conversations in his head in Jin's absence. He had always pretended not to pay attention to Akanishi's mindless chatter, but he actually found it endearing. Akanishi would talk to him about anything under the sun without holding back. Kame had heard the most embarrassing stories and some heart-wrenching ones too. Break ups, betrayal, jubilation, he'd heard them all right there at the balcony. He knew he should have kept his distance since day one, he tried but it was difficult when Akanishi was constantly messing up his life.
Kame went back into his kitchen to grab a cold beer. He peered inside his relatively empty fridge in dismay, and Akanishi was not around to spare him some. He contemplated just going to bed and forgetting about the beer. He put on his jacket anyway, and headed out to the nearest convenience store. He picked up some dried pickled mango as well. He would have stayed ten feet away from those just a few months ago, but Akanishi could be quite persuasive and persistent. Kame figured why not, and bought two packets of the affronting snacks. He had to admit they went very well with beer.
The walk did him good. It helped to clear his mind and now he was looking forward to enjoying his beer. He might have even skipped a few steps on the way up to his apartment. He was stopped abruptly metres away from his door by an unfamiliar sight. He stared unblinking as he watched Akanishi Jin giggling with what appeared to be his girlfriend.
"Hey, do you know him?" the girl clinging onto Akanishi's arm asked as she eyed Kame deliberately.
Akanishi looked up but didn't quite meet Kame's eyes and just nodded ever so slightly. Awkward silence hung in the still air until Kame managed to gather his wits.
He muttered a quick greeting before heading for his refuge as quickly as possible, keeping his head bowed. His heart was pounding in his chest, threatening to burst out in -- rage? jealousy? -- or was it just fear?
He contemplated booking himself a hotel room for the night. But no, Kamenashi Kazuya would not run away. He needed to prove to himself that the earlier incident had only shocked him a little; it had no bearing other than that.
He headed for his kitchen, threw his shopping bags on the counter and went straight for the wine cabinet. He popped open a Leafier Rothschild he had been saving for a special occasion. This occasion certainly called for it. He poured the crimson liquid into a wineglass, struggling to keep his hand steady, only to gulp down its contents in one go. The warmth spread from his insides and radiated outwards to his nether regions. He drank another glass and welcomed the slight drowsy feeling it awarded him. He decided that it was time to turn in for the night. Maybe tomorrow he would forget all this.
He lay on his bed reprimanding himself for behaving like a child. He tried to steer his thoughts clear away from what he was feeling. He had no right to feel anything about Akanishi's social life. He had heard about the girl before, only he didn't pay much attention whenever Akanishi mentioned her. Meeting her made it all too real and it was torturing Kame inside. He willed his thoughts away from his neighbour but it was getting increasingly difficult as traces of giggles and whispers from beyond the wall disrupted his solitude. He turned on the stereo, hoping to mask the sounds.
A ballad and a rock number after, he could still hear them from next door. When did the walls become this thin, he cursed. He turned his stereo louder but it didn't seem to help. It was as if he had developed this heightened sense of hearing -- no, not just hearing, perception to be exact. His mind kept wandering back. Images of the proceedings next door played out in his mind clearer than what he saw in front of his eyes. Two bodies entwined in the heat of passion. A moan and a sharp gasp; he couldn't tell if it was female or male.
Instinctively his hands reached for the bulge in his pants. He grabbed the stereo remote control, but instead of turning the music louder, he turned it off. Now enveloped in the crisp silence, punctured occasionally by the sounds generated by the lascivious activities just metres away, he let go of his mind and let it roam to whatever dark corners it wished, because fuck it if he had to be self conscious even in his own bedroom. Mind and body in full attention, he felt every pant, every dirty whisper, the rustling of the sheets and the creak of bedsprings, even the smell of sweat and lust.
He slipped off his pants just enough to free his cock and reached into the bedside drawer eagerly for the tube of lube. He spread a generous amount across his palms and gently stroked himself, slow and intent. He worked himself to match the rhythmic moans from beyond the wall, real or imagined; he couldn't tell anymore. With the thought of him in sync, in synergy with Akanishi, Kame came unrestrained. Pain and pleasure all rolled into one. He would feel pathetic in the morning, but that very second he was content and there was no room in his head for any other thoughts.
------
Kame loathed himself. He couldn't even bear to look himself in the mirror much less at Akanishi. The only solution he could come up with, as juvenile as it was, was to avoid him at all cost. He stayed out late and left for work early. He no longer set foot on his balcony, the door locked at all times. He had shut himself in. He employed himself in pointless activities like boxing and cooking classes to fill the void, putting in his best efforts but the nagging feeling remained.
Every day he missed Akanishi's company, his smile and his chatter. The music he made haunted Kame instead of comforting him, it sounded a little too sad recently. A part of him resented that Akanishi did not seem in any way concerned with the sudden lack of contact with his neighbour. Kame felt stupid. Of course Akanishi would not notice.
After another exhausting day at work, Kame was practically dragging his feet back to his flat. He was surprised he made it all the way up without collapsing. The corridor had seemed to offer him many surprises recently, always in the form of Akanishi Jin. Kame froze on the spot a few feet away from his door. It seemed he had no choice anyway, as the figure of Akanishi was slumped right in front of his door, fast asleep apparently. Kame took a while to admire his lithe form, looking vulnerable and sad. He swore Akanishi had lost a few pounds.
Kame squatted down next to him and tapped on his shoulder.
"Oi!" He shook him a little harder.
"Wha...what?" Akanishi was shaken out of his deep sleep, disoriented and confused, rubbing his eyes.
"May I know why you are camping outside my door?" Kame asked, surprised at the ease at which he slipped into their old familiar banter. He immediately stood up and took a step back, remembering his resolve to stay away from Akanishi.
Akanishi got up too, brushing off the dust clinging to his pants.
"Well, I would like to know why you've been avoiding me for the last couple of weeks?" Kame couldn't make out the expression on Akanishi's face. Absurdly he thought Akanishi looked a little guilty and apologetic.
"I'm not avoiding you, work just got a lot busier. As you can see I'm really tired," he added sounding thoroughly convincing.
Crestfallen, Akanishi refused to budge. With dark circles under his eyes, he looked almost as tired as Kame.
"Look, you and I ...I 've been thinking..."
Kame stopped him before he could continue. Kame knew this could not go on further. His past experiences had taught him that nothing good could come out of it. There were boundaries that had to be maintained. Boundaries that protected. He gripped Akanishi's shoulders with both hands, staring straight into his eyes hoping to convey what couldn't be said.
"Look, I'm alright, okay. We're alright."
The words left Kame's lips before he could stop them. He feared he was going to regret this and he silently cursed himself for being so weak. He should have just shut up, gone into his apartment and let Akanishi hate him.
Akanishi still looked unconvinced.
"We'll talk tomorrow, okay. I'm really half dead here," Kame tried again, almost pleading.
The first sign of smile adorned Akanishi's face and it was mirrored on Kame's face.
--------
The next day began as if the last two weeks of anguish had not happened. Kame greeted Akanishi naturally in the morning before he headed off to work. Both were glad that the other did not choose to pursue the subject from the previous night any further. They soon fell back into their comfortable familiarity, their nightly drinking sessions renewed.
"How's work?" Akanishi asked.
"It was okay," Kame replied casually.
"How about you? How's the music thing coming along?"
"It's coming along".
"What, are you still mad cause I laughed at you that one time?" Kame asked amused.
"I don't know what you're talking about," came the reply from Akanishi who was intent on staring straight ahead.
"Hey I've heard some of it, it's actually pretty good," Kame tried again.
"What do you mean actually?" Akanishi snapped his head to his right to glare at Kame.
"Oh cmon, it's no Mozart," Kame laughed easily.
"Yeah I didn't hear you humming to Mozart," Akanishi muttered grudgingly.
Kame red from embarrassment, was fiddling around with his shirt button and struggling to come up with an appropriate response but finding none. They sat there in the comfortable silence relishing the peace it offered, minutes and hours passing by without their notice..
"Kame..."
"Hn?"
"Why do you insist on calling me Akanishi?"
The question hung in the air waiting for an answer. Kame looked over at Akanishi, so near and yet unreachable. He let out a long sigh.
"Well Akanishi, because we're just neighbours," he smiled knowing that beneath the facade of aloofness lay a deeper bond, pure and untouched. He had promised himself that he would never let anything harm it.
"Ah, I guess we are, Kamenashi," Akanishi grinned in return.
Smoking their cigarettes, a beer in hand, dried fruit snacks passed back and forth like their very own secret messages.They sat there side by side, separated only by the thin steel blades of their balconies. They looked out at Tokyo rolled out as far as the eye can see, their domain, their world, like Gods watching over their creation. There was no other place they'd rather be.